2015-02-08T13:18:36+00:00

Episode 151: A Wintry Walk…

February 8, 2015/Judy E Martin/8 Comments

There’s nothing like a nice brisk walk on a chilly, but dry Sunday morning, especially when you have no choice!

I have still not got my car back (apparently I should get it tomorrow) from the ‘mad professor, so am not in a very good mood; particularly as I forked out a small fortune to get to work yesterday. In our wisdom, myself and Mr Grump decided that we only needed one car between us as he has the use of the work van during the week, and as I only work part-time, my car will be there most of the time anyway for when he is not. In a nutshell, it means we are vehicle less at the moment!

Anyway. we needed some shopping so decided to do the Supermarket walk again. After all, it is a nice walk, and there are not many busses running on a Sunday even if we knew which one to catch, Miss Hap decided that she was going to see Nanny for her Sunday roast (we have one too but Nan’s is better of course) so it would just be the two of us going,

We wrapped up against the cold and set off, blister plasters in place where I had rubbed my heel raw two days earlier on another walk. Actually I need the exercise and the fresh air (I have been a bit of a hermit lately apart from going to work).

Last week, when we did it, Miss Hap was zigzagging in front of me as we walked, so I spent a lot of time trying not to trip over her, and it seemed to take ages to get there. I hadn’t been in the Supermarket 10 minutes before I had a bit of a ‘funny turn’ and came over all hot and shaky. Luckily there is a cafe there, much to my daughter’s delight so after a bit of sustenance I felt as good as new. Typically for me, food sorted me out!

About halfway through the journey there is a business park where we cut through, which is home to a couple of hotels, the cinema, and a load of fast food places and restaurants. This made me realise that I hadn’t had breakfast, and Mr Grump not wanting a repeat performance of last week insisted that we get something to eat. What a bonus. That perked up the ‘healthy’ walk for me no end.

The walk back was very pleasant as well. We didn’t weigh ourselves down with too many bags this time, and I enjoyed being out, surrounded by trees and leaves, A lonely little squirrel was running around from tree to tree and I thought it would be great to get a photo of him. Needless to say by the time I fumbled about, it had gone. I did manage to get a picture of him eventually though.

It has been a pain not having my car, but at least it has meant that I have noticed more of my actual surroundings, and have appreciated it….It really is the simple things that bring a lot of pleasure.

Episode 148: Family Night…..

February 6, 2015/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

The weekend is upon us. The time for families to spend quality time together enjoying each other’s company….not in our house!

We all started off sitting together in the front room having dinner, then Miss Hap got a call afterwards from a school friend, She decided that they needed to ‘face time’ each other as talking is obviously not enough (neither is the fact that she was just with her at school a few hours previously) and she clomped off upstairs to get some privacy!

I remember those days when younger and my friends would phone on the weekend. My Mum and step-dad would moan loudly about ‘bloody kids’ phoning up when we only saw them 5 minutes ago. We didn’t have the luxury of a cordless phone and the cable wasn’t that long either. That normally meant sitting in the front room trying to talk to your friend whilst getting withering glances from the others as you were disturbing their TV viewing pleasure!

Privacy was not an option. If you were lucky, you might be able to yank the phone out to the hall and sit on the stairs for 5 minutes, before being yelled at to ‘get off the bloody phone’ – even if your friend called you! Those were the days!

Mt Grump has plonked himself in front of the (blaring) TV with a few beers, to watch the Rugby. It is England V Wales, and is being played in his home town of Cardiff. The rest of the family are English, and he has been getting a few texts from them commiserating over Wales’ inevitable trouncing by England even though it hasn’t started yet! In fact we are being treated to a light show of dizzying brilliance.

I am sat at my laptop trying to block out the bloody racket coming from the TV. My headphones have blocked out about 50% of it, but no doubt I will still hear the shouts if Wales score, or the swearing if England do!

Good old technology. where would we be with out it?…..Probably all sitting around playing a board game and spending quality family time together no doubt!!!

Photo Credit SWNS

Episode 147: On Your Bike!

February 6, 2015/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

I admire cyclists; anybody that can manage to keep themselves upright for an unlimited amount of time, whilst balancing on two (very skinny) wheels has my respect. I can actually ride one myself, but when I (rarely) venture out on my bike, I end up pushing it more than riding it, as I am a bit wobbly! Mr Grump and Miss Hap usually end up whizzing past me, leaving me behind.

Anyway, there is one particular cyclist in Britain at the moment, that has made a bit of a name (not to mention reputation) for himself. He is a bus driver for a living, but commutes to work (40 mile round trip) on his bike. The reason he is so different from the norm? He loves to report other road users to the Police if they misbehave.

This guy takes his self-imposed role very seriously indeed, and has kitted himself out with no less than 3 video cameras (wonder where he puts them all)? and a really LOUD horn (I would imagine that in itself could cause an accident if he sets it off, making people jump and losing concentration).

He films wrong-doers abusing the Highway Code, and dobs them in to the Police. There are no second chances. If you are in the wrong lane and then cut someone up, (especially him), your card is marked; if you go the wrong way around a roundabout (God knows why you would want to), you will be reported. Oh yes, this bloke is on a mission. He will also very kindly plaster his footage all over YouTube so that your antics can be judged by other outraged road users.

He is proud of the fact that he has managed to help convict over 70 careless motorists, but like with everything there is a small price to pay, he is now dubbed ‘Britain’s Most Hated Cyclist. If that wasn’t bad enough, he is so well-known that drivers that come across him, will throw a few punches his way regardless of whether or not they have been captured on his camera for some misdemeanor,

He is not bothered though and is more determined than ever to tackle Britain’s rubbish road users and bring them to justice!

I’m bloody glad he doesn’t live near me!

Episode 143: Tantrums and Tears…Parents Behaving Badly!

February 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/15 Comments

I wrote a little while back about children’s birthday parties and how I yearn to go back to the good old days of traditional birthday parties which you can read here.

Having heard about the latest ‘fad’ for children’s birthdays,I am even more convinced, that we should go back to the plain and simple days. What was wrong with a few sandwiches, a bit of cake, a few fun games. a nice present and of course the cheese and pineapple hedgehog?

Well, quite a lot actually judging by today’s standards. Two stories have caught my eye, on this very subject.The first one regarding a female singer/musician, who had originally made it big by winning ‘Pop Idol’ or something similar when it first started. and who is now a household name.

Anyway, her young daughter attends a private school, and has been invited to a couple of her classmates’ upcoming birthday parties. The problem was, one other mum in the class decided to send out a group e-mail on behalf of these two children’s mothers. Apparently the mums asked that cash donations be made in order that one parent could buy a Kindle for their child and the other a desk.Money should be put in an envelope and deposited in their children’s school bag, Oh and the ‘suggested amount’ is £10.00.

This celebrity was enraged. especially as they received another e-mail soon after reminding her about it, although of course she was under ‘no pressure’ to participate. She e-mailed back a scathing reply, basically setting out that she would like. and made it clear that the kids will ‘get what they are given.’

My God, it does take the fun out of it for the kids if the ‘present police’ are making sure that the right gifts or donations are made. I thought us parents were deemed responsible enough to be let loose in the shops to buy a child a birthday present, Especially as we normally have one of our own a similar age, and therefore have some idea of what to get. How bloody ridiculous!

The second story was even worse. This occurred around Christmas time. A 5-year-old boy returned home from school with an envelope for his parents. When they opened it up, they were speechless to find an invoice for £15.95 for a ski centre trip their son had missed. This was a fellow classmate’s birthday treat to which their son had been invited to but could not attend,

The parents of the absent child had tried to contact the birthday boy’s parents to inform them that their son could not attend, but could not reach them. They were told if they did not pay the invoice then they could be taken to court. This just defies belief in my opinion! These sorts of things happen, and cannot be helped. How sad that some parents have taken it so personally.

I thought parties and birthdays were supposed to be fun!

Episode 142: Square Peg……

February 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/21 Comments

Being pretty much a ‘newbie’ blogger, I am still trying to find my ‘niche’ and have decided that I haven’t got one. I don’t fit into any category really (story of my life)! In fact, i would even go as far to say that my poor little blog is the antithesis of most of the ones I read and enjoy, and here’s why…..

Travel blogs:

Now I love to read these, marvel at the beautiful places that people go to, and the wonderful things they have seen. However. you will not get me on a plane (unless I am knocked out), I get terribly seasick, and am a dreadful back-seat driver (as well as hating driving myself)! Oh and I get travel sick on coaches as well. The last time I travelled on a coach,it was about a 4 hour journey. Unfortunately I threw up all over the place in the small toilet, just as we arrived at the destination, which did not impress the driver one bit! I like trains though.

Cookery Blogs:

Oooh, I love looking at the mouth-watering dishes that some people have made, and beautifully presented on their blogs, complete with instructions on how to do it, Although I might have a go at some of these myself, I could never actually produce a blog that focuses on showing others how I made it. Oh no! I would have to clean up the mess first before I took any pictures, plus it would probably take me countless attempts to get it right, and actually resemble something that was edible. I can cook the basic stuff (apart from boiled rice), but only for my family to enjoy (I use that term very loosely).

Fashion and Beauty Blogs:

I do subscribe to a few of these types of blogs because I like pretty things, and am always looking for ways (miracles) to make myself look better. Maybe it might be a flawless foundation, or a figure-shaping (would have to be robustly re-inforced to deal with mine) dress. I love pretty hair styles and have long hair, as does my daughter, perfect for some of these beautiful braids that I have seen. Problem is I can ‘t do them. Not even after watching tutorials. Several times. That type of blog is best left to the experts to write.

Parenting Blogs:

These are the type of blogs I would go to for advice, seeing as my style of parenting is a bit wide of the mark at times.I only have one little girl, and I have been told by her that I ‘baby’ her too much. I admire those Mum’s that stay home with their kids, teach them all sorts of wonderful things, crafts, baking, life skills etc. They do a bloody good job, which is very hard work; I could not write one of these blogs, as my advice would be rubbish! I got ‘the look’ yesterday from my daughter when her friend called round to leave for school together. Before I even thought about it I said. “Why aren’t you wearing your tight-ies, its cold out and your legs will get freezing. Ooops. That went down like a lead balloon. Everything for me seems to have got an ‘ies’ on the end of it. Sockies, leggies, and so on, She hates it.

Craft Blogs.

I only wish i could do one of these blogs, I love crafts but am just not that good at them! It doesn’t stop me from trying though, and I have shown off a couple of things that I have made, here on my blog. The thing is, they probably don’t quite resemble the finished article that I got the pattern for. I tend to have to make a few alterations here and there where I have cocked something up and either left it, or tried to disguise it, I don’t think people would appreciate my style of crafting, which involves a lot of swearing, unpicking and re-doing, then finally a bit of botching!

So there you have it, I pretty much a square peg, in a world full of round holes! Bet you weren’t surprised though!

Photo credit SWNS.com

Episode 141: Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On!

February 4, 2015/Judy E Martin/12 Comments

I just had to share this wacky news article I came across today. It features a surfboard a MacBook, and a poor disgruntled wannabe DJ….

After suffering from a nasty lung condition which forced him to give up his job, and his passion for surfing, a young man from Devon decided to sell his precious surfboard and buy a laptop with the money so he could set himself up in business as a DJ.

As he wanted to get the most for his money, hie did the sensible thing and headed off to good old Ebay, and began bidding on a MacBook. Now these usually sell for about £1500 so when his was the winning bid at £300, he was thrilled to say the least. His dreams of becoming a Wedding DJ were about to materialise.

He waited excitedly for his new possession to arrive, and a couple of days later it did! Excitedly he tore open the box (which incidentally felt a little light, but you know how modern technology is, always streamlining things).

Lo and behold……there was his MacBook. Well actually it was a photocopy of a Macbook. A very nice MacBook it looked too, but he would never actually get to touch it, let alone use it, as he had been scammed! Even though he had checked out the seller as much as he could,and there seemed to be nothing untoward, he was duped.

EBay of course, will look into it, and I am sure this poor chap will get his money back but I did feel for him. I know how exciting it is bidding on something, and then winning it at a bargain price. However, no matte how much we are warned that when something is too good to be true then it probably is, we still fall for it time and time again. We are the eternal optimists!

Episode 140: Under My feet…

February 4, 2015/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

Mr Grump has had a rare day off work today (he is trying to use up all of his leftover holiday before April)and it is driving me mad! I am enjoying my days off thank you very much and I don’t want them interfered with!

Firstly, he dared to have a lie-in until 8am! Oh yes, it’s alright for some. I was up at bloody dark o’clock as usual (5am) leaving him and the dog snoring happily. He only got up then because I couldn’t find Miss Hap’s phone, and had to wake him up to find out where it was (It turned out it was behind my laptop, oh dear)!

I had asked him yesterday to phone up about my car as it was taken away Monday to be fitted with a catalytic converter by one of his ‘mechanic friends’ (regular readers might remember he resembles ‘Einstein’ with his wild grey hair and mad professor persona. He apparently couldn’t get through, so I asked him again to do it today.

He huffed and puffed about it, but he has to get up tomorrow to take me to work . so it is to his advantage that I get the car back. He did eventually phone whilst we were in town having a coffee, then had the audacity to show me up, by telling ‘Einstein’ that I was nagging about my car! He didn’t even ask him anything and was off the phone in no time telling me it will be ready by the end of the week.

Oh that is very helpful! Still I know he will be phoning up every 5 minutes on Friday to see if its ready. Oh yes. I am working at 7.30am Saturday morning, and the Rugby 6 nations is on Friday night, which he wants to watch whilst having a few beers! It is a bit of a grudge match in that England are paying Wales (he is Welsh). No doubt he will be drowning his sorrows when Wales lose and will not be wanting to get up early on Saturday to take me to work).

He then puts his crappy TV on and settles himself down, but luckily my niece came over to visit, and we had a nice girly chat whilst he tried to listen to his programme. He had to go out and start dinner anyway as he had prepared his wonderful ‘cow pie’ and wanted to make sure it was cooked properly!

Once my niece had left Mr Grump wanted me to finish off making my daughter’s tuna pasta salad (she won’t eat the pie). Normally he doesn’t like help in the kitchen and I was cross because I had just got myself comfy in my pyjamas.

I reluctantly ventured into the kitchen. to see to the pasta salad. I couldn’t get the stupid mayonnaise out of the squeezy bottle, so I shook it viciously, clouted it a couple of times…..and ended up spraying it all over my hair, face and pyjamas as it spurted flatulently out of the bottle……I wish he would bugger off back to work!!!

Episode 139: Stating The Bleeding Obvious!!!

February 4, 2015/Judy E Martin/14 Comments

Don’t you just hate it when you are feeling a bit grotty, so make an extra special effort to try to disguise it, only to have someone come up to you and say with concern,

“Are you aright? You look ghastly!” Well thanks very much, that is just what I wanted to hear. Some people just don’t think; either that or they missed the boat when tact and diplomacy were given out!

Mr Grump has been known to have opened his mouth before engaging his brain, and has been on the end of a verbal volley from me. His crime? He dared to mention that I had a HUGE spot on my face; I was only too aware of it already, and had attempted to hide it with copious amounts of makeup. I know it still shone through like a Belisha Beacon, but he didn’t have to mention it!

Another really big no-no happened as I was walking along the corridor at work. One of the night nurses, smiled at me and asked me if I was pregnant! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the end I settled for taking offence, and told her that no, i was just fat!. I would have thought that she could have done a bit of subtle digging first rather than just coming out with it!

I know it’s nice that people notice things, and yes, we all like to be complimented on a new haircut, or the fact that we have lost weight; but on the flip side, most of us are a little sensitive to have our flaws pointed out, even if there was no intention to embarrass.

I know some people just speak without thinking; my poor boss suffers with this affliction. When one of the carers was brushing a patient’s hair, she asked them to have a go at the nurse’s hair that was working with her, as it looked like a bird’s nest. Ouch!

What type of person are you? A blabbermouth, or the soul of discretion?

Episode 138: Carbuncle in the Cotswolds!

February 3, 2015/Judy E Martin/17 Comments

Oh how some people make me laugh! There has been a bit of an outcry at the moment because of a yellow car and a beautiful village in the Cotswolds…….

Now, only a couple of days ago, I posted about how much I miss driving my pretty yellow car at the moment as it is off the road. Note I said ‘pretty’ yellow car. That’s right, it is a cheery, sunshiny. happy colour is yellow.

Some people don’t like yellow, and are particularly offended by cars in that most beautiful of colours. Yes, I’m talking about tourists, and photographers. They are kicking up a stink about a particular yellow car owned by a retired 82-year-old dentist, (Bless him).

The problem is that this car is parked smack-bang in the middle of a row of 14th Century Medieval cottages in the beautiful village of Bilbury, situated in the Cotswolds. Now this particular row of cottages attracts visitors and tourists from far and wide, who want to capture the beauty and serenity of this little lane.

The problem is this poor little yellow car is spoiling their view, and (shock, horror) appearing in their photos, Now this dentist is entitled to park his car there and is doing nothing wrong, Even the National Trust who own the buildings cannot force this owner to park his car elsewhere.

This area is one of ‘outstanding beauty’ hence the huge number of people it attracts. It is a shame that some of those people are so snobby and petty as to object to a little unobtrusive yellow Corsa, which quite frankly, adds to the ambience of the scene, in my opinion.

Is it an asset or an eyesore?

Episode 137: Trial By Jeremy Vile: Helpful or Humiliating?

February 3, 2015/Judy E Martin/6 Comments

Ah the good old chat show! Don’t you just love them? How things have changed from the good old days of ‘Ricki Lake’ and ‘Oprah’. Oh yes, they sometimes got heated but then ‘The Jerry Springer Show’ burst onto our screens complete with bizarre guests, and punch ups galore! Compulsive viewing, to start with as it was just so shocking.

Over here in the UK, we have got good old Jeremy Kyle, Some of you might have already heard of him. He just loves to get right in people’s faces, and wind them up, calling them stupid, or telling them to go and get a job etc. Then gets out of the way was they are about to lash out. He is very agile is Jezza!

God knows why anyone would want to go on TV and air their dirty laundry but there seems to be no shortage of guests ready and willing to put themselves up for humiliation, not just by him, but by the press who occasionally latch on to a story associated with the show.

I have to share with you, a couple of extracts from a conversation between Jeremy, a female guest and her ex-boyfriend. It went along the lines of:

Jeremy, “So you sent pictures of your private parts to another woman on your phone?”

Ex, “Well I had a bad day at work!”

Jeremy: Why did you get arrested for harassing her?”

Ex, “Because I harassed her!”

Now I get the fact that the show is trying to help people; It offers after care services, for all manner of problems, addiction, child contact centres, financial help and the like, but they really have to go through the ringer in order to get it!

Jeremy is very often condescending; takes the mickey out of the guests, and shouts in people’s faces. Not to mention his favourite expression is for men to ‘put something on the end of it’! Now that is a catchphrase to be proud of!

Do you think these shows are really helpful, or just titillation for the viewers?

Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Category: Life

Episode 151: A Wintry Walk…

Episode 148: Family Night…..

Episode 147: On Your Bike!

Episode 143: Tantrums and Tears…Parents Behaving Badly!

Episode 142: Square Peg……

Episode 141: Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On!

Episode 140: Under My feet…

Episode 139: Stating The Bleeding Obvious!!!

Episode 138: Carbuncle in the Cotswolds!

Episode 137: Trial By Jeremy Vile: Helpful or Humiliating?

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Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

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