Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 361: You Know it is Summer in Britain When…….. — June 6, 2015

Episode 361: You Know it is Summer in Britain When……..

  • The trusty, rusty old BBQ that has been loitering in the garden for the winter has been dusted off, cleaned up, and put to work,cooking the nation’s burgers and bangers to that unique blackened outside raw in the middle state that us Brits are so good at!
  • Similarly, the plastic, garden furniture has been de-slimed and scrubbed up; the parasol dug out from the shed and de-cowebbed; and for some. the sun lounger has been dragged out, the mouldy cushions turned over, and are ready to go!
  • People are comparing their sunburned shoulders and backs, (We never learn).
  • The shorts are on! Yes I came home from work yesterday and Mr Grump had got the pure white milk bottle legs out. He would have worn his ‘mandals’ (those horrid man sandals) but I moaned about them so much last year, he got rid of them!
  • The bloody lawn needs mowing AGAIN! It was only done last week!
  • You see people doing ‘the wasp dance.’ You know the one, where they flail around madly, run a few steps, twirl around and start the whole thing over again. If you are lucky it might be accompanied by a bit of screaming (especially if it is me)!
  • The shops have sold out of fans again! If you do have one, the whirring and clonking noise keeps you awake half the night anyway.
  • Suddenly every cafe decides to serve a ‘cream tea!’
  • It’s raining! Especially during Wimbledon
Episode 182 : What a Trooper! — February 26, 2015

Episode 182 : What a Trooper!

You have got to hand it to Madonna. Last night during her performance at the ‘Brit Awards’ she ended up falling backwards off of a stage. This was due to the fact that a long cape she was wearing failed to untie when a couple of the dancers pulled on it. This resulted in her being pulled rather forcefully back. and she seemed to land quite heavily.

Being the true professional she is, she got up and carried on. Now she is no spring chicken (she is 56 years old), and, she must have hurt herself, but she kept on going despite the pain she must have been in.

I remember falling over once, whilst working at a secondary school. I usually had my break before the children had theirs, and at that time, being a smoker I was desperate to get off the school grounds and have a cigarette. I had nearly got out of the school, by the car park where there were these little humps in the road to slow any cars down,

I had just fished my mobile phone out of my bag, not concentrating on where I was going, when I twisted my ankle on one of those humps, did a kind of slow motion run, trying to keep my balance before landing heavily on my hands and knees. The phone went flying off in front of me, and I stayed sprawled out for a minute, dazed.

Funnily enough, a student that I knew well out of school (I was good friends with her mum), was passing and asked me if I was ok. I assured her I was, and I limped off to go and have my cigarette. I was pretty shaken up, my trousers were all dirty and my hands and knees grazed and swollen.

I know if I had fallen awkwardly like Madonna did there would be no way I would be up and dancing, Did you see the height of those heels as well? My God that woman has some stamina, and is one hell of a professional. She could teach some of these younger ‘stars’ a thing or two, that’s for sure.

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