Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#JusJoJan 2018. January 11th Humiliate — January 11, 2018

#JusJoJan 2018. January 11th Humiliate

I hope that you are enjoying my posts from Linda’s Just Jot it January as much as I am enjoying writing them.

Here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 11th, 2018, brought to you by the very wordy Jim Adams, is “Humiliate.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Jim at his blog, “A Unique Title for Me” to read his post and say hi! Here’s his link:  https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/

I would never intentionally humiliate anyone, as there is nothing worse than feeling belittled, ashamed and/or worthless, especially if it is in front of other people.  I have been in several situations where I have been humiliated in front of others and it is horrible. These were mainly during my career, and in many cases, it was not personal, just part of the culture, it still made me feel terrible.

The kind of humiliation that a person deliberately inflicts on another to make an example of them, prove a point or demonstrate superiority is not acceptable. I don’t need any extra help showing myself up.

Being as clumsy as I am, can often lead to me feeling stupid and useless despite the fact that most of the time I try to laugh it off. If I break or damage something and I get yelled at, then it just makes me feel worse. Luckily, touch wood, I haven’t broken anything for a while. Oh, scratch that! I vacuumed up some of the lights we bought for this Christmas. They were the type that fell in a kind of curtain that we had put above the stairs and they looked lovely, well until I put one strand out of action, that is.

I was cross as I hate vacuuming at the best of times, but decided I wouldn’t wait for Mr Grump to do it and I would do it myself. Before I knew it the strand of lights wrapped around the vacuum very tightly before I switched it off and rescued them. It was too late though as they were broken!  Mr Grump saw the funny side and teased me about it; he is well used to my ways, and often jokingly calls me a vandal when I have broken, trashed or smashed something.

TJ’s Weekly Household Weekly Challenge – Wood — January 23, 2016
Ronovan’s Writes Weekly Haiku Challenge #77 ‘New’ and ‘Year.’ — December 28, 2015
Back to Civilisation! — December 22, 2015

Back to Civilisation!



I know that I am on the Internet a lot, but I didn’t actually realise how much I relied on it until Sunday when it broke!  Occasionally it plays up a bit, but after a quick flick off and on of the router, we are back in business and all is well.

Not so, on Sunday. I did the power off and on thing, and a red light came on. That was new. I tried logging on. Computer said no! I did it again, same thing. I unplugged more cables, then plugged them all back in. Nope! Damn it! I got Mr Grump on the case, and he fiddled around with wires and cables. Nowt! Sod it!

I phoned up, finally got to speak to someone miles away, went through the rigmarole of turning off, unplugging and all the stuff we did before, plus a few new things. Zip. Bugger it!

There followed a series of phone calls, unfulfilled promises and bad-tempered tantrums (from me as well as Miss Hap) as we struggled in vain to get it working. Added to this, out phone signals are pretty rubbish, but Mr Grump has a booster thing that gives us full signal and therefore, 4G, but it is powered by….you guess it, The INTERNET! Shit to it!

Now on Mondays, I like to join in with Ronovan’s Haiku Challenge  I actually look forward to seeing what words he comes up with, and also looking at other people’s. I couldn’t get a decent signal long enough to read what the prompts were, let alone write a post.

Not only that but my windscreen was being fixed today,  which I had waited for ages for. I had to show them the insurance policy when they arrived. I have an ONLINE Policy. Plus I was being e-mailed a questionnaire for a telephone appointment I have soon which I had to send back this morning by email. FUCK it!

Yesterday, Mr Grump could bear it no longer and went to get some advice from somewhere in town! Meanwhile, I phoned the internet company again nagging at them, so they agreed to send a new router, which is where the fault lay. They informed me it would probably take a week to arrive. FUCKITY, BLOODY, BUGGER, SHIT and BOLLOCKS to it all!

Mr Grump did something when he got in yesterday to that booster thing, and we had 4G! YAY! Now I had the internet. Trying to post from my tablet with my sausage fingers and predictive text took longer than I expected, but I did it.

This morning at around 7 am, I had a text from Royal Mail informing me that they had a package from TalkTalk that they would deliver today. Yipee, my lovely new router came, and Mr Grump had it set up pronto!

Peace has resumed!







Episode 395: Mr Grump’s Computer Rage! — June 27, 2015

Episode 395: Mr Grump’s Computer Rage!

Mr Grump doesn’t usually work on Fridays, so for him the weekend starts after work on Thursday afternoon. He quite often has a beer or five, and then the inevitable music comes on. As we like the same kind of music (and Miss Hap was brought up on it), it is enjoyed by us all.

Now back in the good old days, we had CD players, record players, ghetto blasters etc, but now we have various music channels (too many adverts though interrupting the flow), and the trusty PC, the Jack of all trades.

Now Mr Grump had painstakingly burned disc after disc of his favourite tracks onto the PC, and had built up a huge library of entertainment which he is particularly proud of. When anyone comes round for a party he will flick through his many and varied tunes to set the mood, and if it is just us here, he will play all his old favourites.

Not this Thursday night though. He decided the computer was too slow, so it must have a virus and would need to be restored. Needless to say, I had to go and do it, which I did. Still not right, so we decided to restore it from the backup discs we had previously created. I did that for him (reluctantly now as I was getting fed up).

All I could hear was heavy sighing, cursing and swearing after it had set up, it appears he had forgotten his password for his e-mail which he used to just sign into automatically, and God forbid, could not get into his library of music! I was cross by now so went to bed as I had work the next day.

Yesterday evening. He picked me up from work as he does on a Friday and then went off to meet a friend for a ‘quick pint’ at the local pub. My younger sister was coming round to help me colour my hair, and we decided to fire up the barbie for dinner.

My sister and brother-in-law arrived with their labrador, hungry and short of time, (in fact my BIL had to perform at a gig a short time later and had to leave in about half an hour).  Mr Grump turned up, a few mins later and got the food on the go.

As he couldn’t play his music, the TV (plus extra loud speakers he had connected to it) blasted out the vintage years selections at ear-splitting volume whilst we sat eating our food, vibrating with the bass!

Luckily for Miss Hap she had a school disco to go to, and BIL dropped her off on his way leaving just the three of us, My sister did my hair, whilst Mr Grump fiddled about on the PC trying to get some thing to work, anything to work! He was locked out of Facebook as well as he couldn’t remember his password. Luckily I knew it so at least he could get on there!

When My sister left, Mr Grump was nagging me to help him again. I asked for another e-mail address to send recovery details to, he couldn’t remember the password for that one either and gave mine! Meanwhile the PC ‘wasn’t letting him do anything at all now’ so he gave up dejected and we went to bed.

This morning I set the bloody thing back to factory settings! I guessed the password combination for the other e-mail and got him back into everything. Of course his musical library will have to be built up again from scratch!

Thank God I am working tomorrow. (I never usually say that when I have to work on a Sunday)!

Episode 301: Miss Hap’s Mishap! — April 23, 2015

Episode 301: Miss Hap’s Mishap!

Unfortunately, my old nemesis ‘anxiety’ has come calling again recently, and I have been feeling steadily worse as the days go by. What with my gammy eye as well, I don’t look that great either!

Anyway, suffice to say, I have slept a huge amount today, and done very little else. Miss Hap went off to school and Mr Grump to work, so I was pretty undisturbed for most of the day. (What a shame I can’t sleep so well at night)!

By the time Miss Hap came home I had woken up but was still a bit groggy. I noticed though that she appeared to be limping. Before I had a chance to ask what was wrong she thrust a carrier bag at me. Curious, I opened it up, only to find the sole of her shoe in it!

Now school shoes are a bit of a bugbear with Miss Hap, not least because she has extremely flat feet with no arch to them at all. Add to that,  the desire to have something that is not going to be classed as ‘old-fashioned’ (like the Clarks shoes she has had right up until secondary school). It has been quite a challenge all-in-all.

However, we were lucky that just before school started we found some that we liked (as in they were not too high or too flimsy) and that she was prepared to wear. Now, I don’t know if anyone remembers the ‘beetle-crusher’ type shoes (or ‘brothel keepers’ as we used to call them, God knows why), well they have made a comeback.

I think they were originally popular with the ‘Teddy Boys’ of the 60s (I don’t actually think girls wore them), and I quite like them despite my sister (Mrs Masterchef) saying they resembled some sort of orthopaedic shoe!

We bought her some lovely black (of course for school) suede shoes, which in keeping with this style had a one inch thick rubber sole which looks like a caterpillar tread that you have on tanks.These lasted quite well for her as she wears shoes out pretty quick. The next pair we got had ‘jewels’ on them but were not allowed, so we bought this last pair which were not the same quality, hence the detachment of the sole!

Miss Hap thought we could easily remedy the situation with a bit of glue as she is not allowed to wear trainers whilst we sort out some new ones. Oh well. looks like we will have to risk the wrath tomorrow as the jewelled ones will have to make a guest appearance for a day!

Episode 275: Window Shopping! — April 7, 2015

Episode 275: Window Shopping!

It is a lovely day here today with the sun shining, and my cold is a lot better (It has decided it has had enough of me and had gone to settle on Mr Grump instead)! Myself and Miss Hap decided it would be nice to have a quick trip into town and treat ourselves to a very unhealthy breakfast (bang goes the lbs I have lost so far)! I have to say a sausage and egg Mcmuffin really hits the spot when you have been ‘healthy eating’ for a few weeks!

Anyway, we  looked around for a bit and got some odds and ends, then I noticed a lady that did ‘threading.’ Seeing as my eyebrows were a bit straggly I told Miss Hap that I would quickly get them done, Of course. I had forgotten how much it bloody hurts, and needless to say my eyes streamed with water. Before I had properly come back to my senses, she asked about doing my top lip as well.

Oh. I hadn’t realised that it was a moustache in progress. so I told her to go ahead. Having never had this threaded before, I was rather taken aback by the pain! Miss Hap must have noticed my grimacing (I had my eyes screwed tightly shut as well) as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it for comfort, bless her.

That ordeal over with I tried to leave with my dignity intact. but it was not easy with a snotty, runny nose and streaming eyes (I could have put it down to the cold I suppose)! Miss Hap wanted to go to the phone shop to get a replacement sim card as she had damaged it. so we headed there next.

I am never keen on going to these places as they are of course very knowledgeable about phone technology etc and I am a dunce. I asked for the sim , and then the assistant started going on about me being overdue for an upgrade and did I want this or that?! No I bloody didn’t. My daughter gets rather fixated on things and although she already has an iPhone it is not the latest one. She is not getting it either so I did not want him discussing upgrades or I would never hear the last of it.

I looked at him with my blotchy, red, snotty face and told him sternly that I was not prepared to discuss upgrades now, and he decided it might be a good idea to shut up and give me the sim card!

Once we had finished shopping, Miss Hap and I got in the car to come home. Now on the way into town Miss Hap was playing ‘Rapper’s Delight’ (I have very little new stuff in my car). She loves it and knows most of the words, and recently Mr Grump had fitted this huge speaker thing covered in carpet(?) into the back of my car so my stereo sounds quite loud!

She had cranked up the volume and we were both making a nice racket along with the Sugarhill Gang on our journey. However, on the way out of the multi-storey car park I had to Wind my window down to put the ticket in the slot to get out, and it wouldn’t go back up! All the way home I tried to no avail. Miss Hap was not so keen now on the stereo loudly blasting out Leo Sayer’s ‘When I need you’ and I refused to turn it down!

We were lucky it was such a lovely, sunny day and didn’t get soaking wet!

Episode 189: Smooth(ie) Operator! — March 1, 2015

Episode 189: Smooth(ie) Operator!

Miss Hap has discovered a new drink which she loves, Oreo Smoothie! Now forgive me if I am wrong, but aren’t smoothies supposed to be healthy? You know, made with fruit and veg and skimmed milk….that kind of thing, not ice cream and Oreos (I can’t bear them myself)!

Anyway, she has been nagging me for ages to buy the ingredients in order to make this delightful drink. I have so far not obliged her,  as her once a week indulgence is plenty enough for such a sugar-fest. I did however, promise to make her a ‘normal’ smoothie.

I have actually got a smoothie maker that I have had for ages, but now never really gets used. I dragged in out of the corner it was hiding in, gave it a bit of a clean up and gathered some ingredients together.

Now I have to mention that I was not really in a very good mood. We were going to have our usual Sunday roast, but whilst Mr Grump was cooking the meat, it gave off rather an unpleasant smell. Once cooked. although it looked gorgeous, none of us fancied it anymore due to the weird smell, so that put paid to that! Hence the reason why I was crabby. (I had a healthy dinner instead)!

Anyway, I poured the milk into the smoothie maker, and asked Miss Hap to get the ice out of the freezer whilst I got the bananas. She had decided that she didn’t want anything else with it as she ‘doesn’t really like that much fruit’ (a fact I know all too well)!

When I turned back to the smoothie maker I saw that all of the milk had ended up on the worktop. There must have been a bit missing from the machine which I hadn’t noticed, despite the fact that it was an essential component!

I got more milk and we used the food processor to mix everything up in, I poured out some of the drink and gave it to my daughter. She took the smallest of sips and her face said it all. I went to give some to Mr Grump and when I came back all of Miss Hap’s drink had suspiciously gone. She said that she had enjoyed it and sloped off upstairs.

I, meanwhile, was left with one hell of a mess to clean up. As I went to start the washing up, I noticed that the washing up bowl was filled with what looked uncannily like banana smoothie! Great! She had thrown it away as I thought. I chucked out the bloody useless smoothie maker as well. Oh well, at least my kitchen is slightly less cluttered now!

Episode 177: Geared up to Fail! — February 23, 2015

Episode 177: Geared up to Fail!

As days off go, today has not been a great success so far. To start with Miss Hap is back at school after a week off for half term. This involved her stomping about quite a lot this morning gathering her bits and pieces needed for the day (I am still working on organising her) whilst all the while berating the fact that she has to go to school at all.

Anyway, Mr Grump has got a load of time off still due to his annual leave-build up, so he is home getting under my feet. As I had an appointment today with other newly diagnosed Type 2 diabetics in order to educate us on how to manage our condition, I thought that Mr Grump could make himself useful and drive me in.

As some of you know, my car has been off the road for ages, and has recently had a new catalytic converter fitted, and a bit of welding done so that it is now legally roadworthy again. As we drove up the motorway Mr Grump went into the middle lane to overtake a slow lorry and changed into 5th gear as he did so, Unfortunately, it wouldn’t get in gear (he mentioned before that he has trouble getting it in 5th, I never have this problem) and we were kind of in limbo as she frantically pummelled the gearstick to get it to engage, whilst cursing and moaning.

I took exception to this rough treatment of my car, and It was a pretty hairy experience so I went quiet and surly until we arrived at the hospital. I did manage to bark out a few things I needed from the Supermarket as he was going grocery shopping.

There were about 8 of us at this meeting, and I was one of the youngest. I already knew quite a lot about diabetes anyway so I thought that 4 hours was going to be a bit of a stint, Having said that, it was very interesting knowing what a proper food portion size should equate to. Mine have obviously been a little on the over-generous side, as is the size of my dinner plate!

Anyway, luckily it lasted on three hours (Thank God as I was starving playing with all the pretend food the Dietician got out of her bag). We were told to bring a sandwich which I did but had no time to eat it, (I have a feeling that mine,had she examined it, might not have been the correct size either!

Mr Grump collected me and we came home the back roads as opposed to the motorway (presumably to avoid a repeat performance of the gear changing episode). Ass we were nearing home, he crunched 3rd gear this time and I muttered a bit, As we pulled into the parking space, the clutch vibrated wildly and then went! Nothing! He has broken my bloody car!

Episode 87: New Year, Old Habits……. — January 2, 2015

Episode 87: New Year, Old Habits…….

Hello 2015! I am so pleased that 2014 has gone, and I now look forward to seeing what delights the New Year has in its sights for me.

I have not really made any New Years resolutions as:

  • They are doomed to failure, I hate to be told that I MUST do something on a certain day, it always usually ends up going wrong.
  • I feel that I hardly have anything left to give up. I have given up smoking, I rarely drink, and no longer eat sweet foods, so there is bugger all left to enjoy, let alone give up!
  • There are enough miserable people at the moment giving up this and that, I don’t need to add to that number.

Anyway, some things never change, despite my efforts. For example,my tendency to be a little accident-prone and just a tad clumsy is still prevalent. My boss very kindly bought all of us staff a lovely china mug for Christmas; each of them different, presumably to match our personalities.Mine was a blue, flowery one which I decided to take home rather than leave it at work where it might get nicked or broken.

Both me and Mr Grump drink tea all day long, and I also like the odd coffee now and again. I have a large mug for my tea, but I only drink a small coffee so my new cup was perfect for that.  I was a little bit grouchy in the morning as I had gone up to get ready and when I had come back downstairs Mr Grump STILL hadn’t done either the washing up from the night before, or made me a drink. I put the kettle on myself, snatched my cup off the draining board, and saw that it was dirty which annoyed me. I turned back to the sink to wash it up just as Mr Grump was trying  to get his cup to the kettle so that I could make HIM a drink! Anyway, you guessed it, SMASH! Mr Grump’s huge, chunky ‘Grumpy Old Git’ cup smashed my delicate china one to smithereens! For once I didn’t say anything, my silence spoke volumes, and Mr Grump scuttled out of the kitchen and out of my way for a bit!

I still had to go to work New Year’s Day, especially as I had Christmas off this year. Mr Grump was going to have to dive me in for about 7am or so, and we were all going to have a quiet New Year’s Eve, Anyway, out of the blue my younger sister invited us to hers in the afternoon for a little while. Her daughter and her fiance ended up coming round and eventually we all decided to go to visit my Mum who also lives locally. Mr Grump met us there and i noticed that he was having a beer, and I knew what was coming….

Sure enough, after a few very loud and raucous games, they all decided to head back to my sister’s to continue the party. It was decided that Miss Hap and Mr Grump would stay the night at my sister’s and I would get a taxi to work in the morning. I must admit I was a bit upset but didn’t want to be a killjoy. After all it was New Year’s Eve. Mr Grump walked me home and then fussed around for a bit before I finally told him to get going as I had blogging to do and I wanted a bit of peace!

I had a bit of a sniffle feeling sorry for myself but soon got lost in the blogosphere catching up on those I hadn’t read and writing my final post of 2014. I decided that I would see who else was working and try to get a lift in from someone else who lives in the area as there are quite a few of us. Luckily I managed to get that sorted so I was pleased about  that.I was just getting ready to go to bed when Miss Hap phoned to say that she was coming home as she missed me and that my other niece’s husband would bring her as they had just turned up there.

That was really nice so we had a little chat, and went to bed. It took me ages to get off to sleep for some reason, but i finally nodded off only to be awoken what seemed like 10 mins later by a bumbling and stumbling Mr Grump.He told me,

“I deshided to come home to be with my baby,  Itsh  still New Yearsh Eve”.

I asked what the time was and told it was only a quarter to midnight. Great! Although I appreciated the fact that he wanted to be with me and had staggered home, he had woken me up! I went back to sleep just in time to be woken up again by the various fireworks that had been let off to bring in the New Year. Lovely. Mr Grump was snoring nicely in time with the dog to accompany the bangs and whizzes of the fireworks.

I did make rather a lot of noise at 5.30 when I got up, making sure I blow dried my hair in the bedroom with the light on of course. Mr Grump got up at 6.30 to see me off to work, how sweet!

Yes. although it is a new year, some things will no doubt remain unchanged!

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