Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#JusJotJan 2018. January 1st Drama — January 1, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 1st Drama

I love that Linda has the Just Jot it January Challenge to start off the year. This is the 3rd year that I have taken part and it is one of those challenges that I actually look forward to. It is not only because it gives us all to kick-start our writing, but because it is something of a community effort, with regards to all of us being given the opportunity of suggesting the prompt words. Poor old Linda still does the hard work though of posting the prompts daily and keeping us in order!

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 1st, 2018, brought to you by the lovely Ritu, is “Drama.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Ritu at her blog, “But I Smile Anyway…” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://butismileanyway.com/

I would say that drama features pretty heavily in my life, in one way or the other. Being one of six children, there is always something going on with at least one of us. Throw in nephews, nieces, partners, parents, step-relatives, and in-laws and you have one hell of a drama waiting to happen!

I suppose that it is no surprise then that my chosen career is in nursing! There is definitely plenty of drama going on, even if it is not always of the running around trying to get everything done in not enough time, variety. Sometimes the drama is the slow unfolding of a situation that can suddenly escalate unexpectedly.

I always considered myself to be the type of woman who just wanted a quiet life.

Who am I kidding?

#Writespiration 52 Weeks in 52 Words Shoes — November 8, 2017

#Writespiration 52 Weeks in 52 Words Shoes

This week for Sacha’s #Writespiration challenge we are to write a day in the life of a pair of shoes. Not only that but we have to use only 52 words!

We may not be sexy and chic

Worn every day of the week

It’s comfort, not style

That makes us worthwhile

And the fact we don’t leak!


We never complain of our fate

Squashed beneath all her weight

Stomping all day long

Still going strong

Despite looking a bit of a state!


Episode 475: Kicking Back and Letting Go. — August 29, 2015

Episode 475: Kicking Back and Letting Go.

What a week this has been! My routine oriented, working patterns, all arse-about-face! Two night shifts in a row is pretty alien to me, and I had one hell of a job sleeping the next day (particularly when my neighbours had a row outside my bedroom window and she kicked him out, hurling insults after him as he roared off in the car).

Unfortunately, I notice that he has returned to the matrimonial home, but must be keeping a low profile as there is none of the usual shouting (or even singing) at the top of his voice for our ‘entertainment!’

The second half of the week saw me get the job that I had applied for. The preparation and research that I did through sleep-deprived, half-closed eyes paid off, and my confidence, and self-esteem got a much-needed boost. I did it!

Friday saw me back at work, and even the fact that there were only 6 of us looking after 26 patients did not dampen my spirits, as the team that were on shift are brilliant. It is going to be so difficult saying goodbye to them, but in the last year alone 16 staff have left with a few others are to follow soon. I know I am doing the right thing as conditions are not going to improve,

The other change that I made is that sadly, I no longer write my ‘Wacky News Stories’ for the magazine, as they were looking to change direction. I could have stayed and written more serious stuff, but as I was also doing some editing and uploading articles from three other writers,  I found it all too time-consuming and I do not like to do things half-cocked!

Today It was out to get Miss Hap some new school shoes and other bits that she needed as they go back on Wednesday; (I have got the week off so actually get the other two days to myself)! As both Miss Hap and Mr Grump are out, I put my feet up and had a much-needed nap!

Episode 458: I Should Be So Lucky! — August 15, 2015

Episode 458: I Should Be So Lucky!

Tonight I am absolutely shattered! As I briefly mentioned yesterday, I am working completely different shifts to normal in order that I can cover child care for the summer holidays for Miss Hap.

Just as I had finally caught up with my sleep after working two 12 and a half hour night shifts on Monday and Tuesday, it was time for me to go back in today. Stupidly I thought I would have to do a ‘long day’ (12 and a half hours) as opposed to my normal ‘short shift’ (7 and a half hours). By the time I realised my mistake it was too late to change as we were desperately short-staffed and I headed off to work with a heavy heart.

When only 6  of us turned up for work looking after 26 patients with at least 6 that liked to wander around and escape first chance they got, I knew it was going to be a busy day, particularly as 2 staff were on short days, but of course you get on with it.

We doubled up as much as we could and managed to just about get everyone washed in time for lunch,  Apart from getting a smacked face from a patient that didn’t want to have her face washed, and tripping over a crash mat into my colleague, the morning went ok up until my break time.

I decided that I would treat myself to the full English breakfast, which I took outside to eat with my colleague on the smoker’s bench (no, I haven’t taken it up again even though I felt like it today)! I managed to slop baked bean juice all down my dress which left a lovely orange blob on my grotty grey uniform which did nothing to enhance it. The wasps seemed to love it though and kept buzzing around me which, of course, made me shriek.

Once I got back to the ward one of my colleagues started dabbing at me with an antibacterial wipe, as unbeknownst to me I had a massive splodge of bird poo on my side (how the hell that got there, I have no idea. Great….looking nice and professional now. Added to that the coffee that missed my mouth, and decided to join the party, I was rather more colourful that I started out!

I thought the afternoon might be easier as we were sent 2 more staff when the other two left, which although still left us short, was a great help. It looked up a bit when I was talking to a colleague explaining something with a hand on my hip and a really tall handsome young relative decided to link his arm through mine for some reason (not that I complained)!

After that, it was downhill all the way! The restless patients had a renewed vigour to escape and did not want to be coaxed or cajoled to stay. Hoists played up, zimmer frames disappeared and one that we did have was viciously guarded by one of my ladies who was convinced it was hers and I was not to let anyone have it. I tried explaining it belonged to the hospital but she was not having it and I was on the receiving end of some very strong words several times until her daughter visited and told her it was indeed the hospital’s.

So my day was rather manic. and despite the fact that actually it is just a normal day on our ward, the longer hours were rather draining! Still, isn’t bird poo supposed to be lucky? Must check that Lottery ticket tomorrow!

Episode 259: Multi-Tasking or Mayhem? — March 28, 2015

Episode 259: Multi-Tasking or Mayhem?

Apparently us women are supposed to be pretty good at multitasking; I think I am to a point, especially when I’m on the phone. Sometimes I can be talking to my sister on the phone for an hour or more, so being able to get on with some other jobs at the same time can come in handy!

I am pretty good at ironing with the phone balanced between right ear and shoulder, as well as carrying on a conversation, likewise dusting and polishing.However, I cannot talk and type, or read at the same time. No, that is definitely too much for my poor little brain to manage at once and the concentration goes completely, so that I am either typing rubbish or talking rubbish (well, more so than usual, anyway)!

I can knit and watch TV at the same time though. Yes, I bet you are impressed with that one. What I need to mention here is that only applies if I am following an easy pattern. If I am counting stitches or something that requires a smidgen of thought, then I usually miss a huge chunk of what happened in the film or programme and drive everyone mad by asking what is going on. Other than that if a juicy bit comes on the TV then I need to watch, then stitches can get dropped, or I have to unpick rows that I have buggered  up!

I can’t do anything else whilst driving, except listen to music, and that has only been a recent thing. I suppose it is due to the fact that I am not keen on driving and feel I need to concentrate. When I used to smoke I rarely had a cigarette whilst driving. I remember once when I did, and the top of the cigarette fell off onto my lap (it was still lit), I was panicking like mad trying to bat at it to put it out, whilst concentrate on the road. I didn’t do that again!

At work of course is a different matter entirely, I am a very good multi-tasker as we all have to be. We are constantly running from one job to the next, and on the way to that job, get grabbed to do another one or two. That with answering the buzzers, and talking to relatives, or other medical staff as you go about your chores, is just part and parcel of the job.

Are you a good multi-tasker, and do you think women are better at it than men?

Episode 147: On Your Bike! — February 6, 2015

Episode 147: On Your Bike!

I admire cyclists; anybody that can manage to keep themselves upright for an unlimited amount of time, whilst balancing on two (very skinny) wheels has my respect. I can actually ride one myself, but when I (rarely) venture out on my bike, I end up pushing it more than riding it, as I am a bit wobbly! Mr Grump and Miss Hap usually end up whizzing past me, leaving me behind.

Anyway, there is one particular cyclist in Britain at the moment, that has made a bit of a name (not to mention reputation) for himself. He is a bus driver for a living, but commutes to work (40 mile round trip) on his bike. The reason he is so different from the norm? He loves to report other road users to the Police if they misbehave.

This guy takes his self-imposed role very seriously indeed, and has kitted himself out with no less than 3 video cameras (wonder where he puts them all)? and a really LOUD horn (I would imagine that in itself could cause an accident if he sets it off,  making people jump and losing concentration).

He films wrong-doers abusing the Highway Code, and dobs them in to the Police. There are no second chances. If you are in the wrong lane and then cut someone up, (especially him), your card is marked; if you go the wrong way around a roundabout (God knows why you would want to), you will be reported. Oh yes, this bloke is on a mission. He will also very kindly plaster his footage all over YouTube so that your antics can be judged by other outraged road users.

He is proud of the fact that he has managed to help convict over 70 careless motorists, but like with everything there is a small price to pay, he is now dubbed ‘Britain’s Most Hated Cyclist. If that wasn’t bad enough, he is so well-known that drivers that come across him, will throw a few punches his way regardless of whether or not they have been captured on his camera for some misdemeanor,

He is not bothered though and is more determined than ever to tackle Britain’s rubbish road users and bring them to justice!

I’m bloody glad he doesn’t live near me!

Episode 134: Egg On My Face…. — February 2, 2015

Episode 134: Egg On My Face….

“Mum, I’ve forgotten my bus pass”  are not the words that you want to hear at 8am on a Monday morning! Especially if you are still groggy form a dreadful nights sleep…..

My eleven year old daughter is disorganisation personified! No matter how hard I try, how much cajoling, wheedling, and finally grounding  makes no difference at all. She has a head like a sieve (no idea where she gets that from), and no amount of nagging, or should I say ‘reminding’ gets the information into her stubborn head!

I am at home today, waiting for my car to be fixed. I thought I might go mad and do a bit of housework, and other bits and pieces indoors. So for that reason, I have dressed appropriately. A pair of leggings and a long line short-sleeved top are perfect for the tasks I intend to carry out,

They are not however, perfect for having to hot-foot it to the bus stop to deliver the bloody bus pass!  I brushed aside the wearing of socks today, preferring to slop about in my comfy mid heel mules. The problem I had was that time was of the essence, as my daughter and her friend were hoping to catch the next bus at 8.20 and the bus stop is at least a 10 minute walk away.

I grabbed my heavy waterproof jacket and set off. As I was ‘clip-clopping’ down the road in my mules, I smiled at people who were scraping the ice off their cars, ready for work, There were a few raised eyebrows as they clocked my poor, freezing sockless feet in the summer mules, but i walked on head held high!

I phoned my daughter on the way and told her to meet me halfway. She agreed, but I finally caught up with her at the local park, about 2 mins away from the bus stop. Her and her friend sauntered in, totally unperturbed, scoffing sausage rolls (presumably with the money she got from the ‘tooth fairy’ last night)! She grabbed the bus pass, ignored my mini-rant, and dawdled back to the bus stop!

I sped home realising that I had left the pan on with my boiled egg for breakfast in it, hoping that I still had a home left! Luckily, there was a bit of water left in the pan and my egg was hard-boiled to perfection. Just as I like it!

I still have the problem of trying to get my daughter to remember her bus pass in the mornings. Any ideas?!

Episode 34: Unexpected Praise…. — November 4, 2014

Episode 34: Unexpected Praise….

Isn’t it strange that sometimes a compliment can make you feel really awful!…I am a person that likes to get things done, if I have got a job to do then i am going to do my utmost to get it done,, and also do it to the best of my ability…

However, life does it’s best to throw a spanner in the works whenever it can. Working with people is at best unpredictable and at worst chaotic, means that even with the best intentions in the world, things often end up going pear-shaped regardless of how hard you try.Today was one of those days….

I was working in my usual Bay looking after 6 ladies with a newly qualified nurse. Half of our patients were due to have various procedures which involved them leaving  the ward, so we wanted to try to get them washed and ready first. Breakfast was late arriving, and drugs took a while, so were slightly late in starting washing the patients. Unfortunately my colleague had got embroiled in a complicated fight between relatives of one of our patients… It was all to do with a lot of money the patient had brought into hospital with her; it involved the Police, Adult Protection, a wife-beating husband (who looked the picture of innocence sitting in his wheelchair), and conniving relatives, who all turned up at the same time. I didn’t know who was who, but had been told to limit the visitors to two at a time. Great, I didn’t know who the bad guys were!

Still as my workmate had now gone off to try to untangle this mess,I was left to get on with looking after the rest of the patients…I ended up spending a good 4 hours of my shift on my own trying to cater to everything my patient’s needed, as well as carry out other tasks that had to be done as part of my job…

I was starting to get a bit frazzled, as other relatives had turned up (It was still nowhere near visiting hours) demanding to know things like,where the bag was that Aunty Mabel had brought in, and why weren’t  they told their relative had a blood transfusion?(she hadn’t, Aunty Mabel told them she had for some reason). I did my best to answer their questions, but at the same time wanted to continue to try and wash the poor patients that were still waiting, and I was being distracted,

One of my ladies went off for her procedure in a wheelchair, and I was able to get on with helping the lady opposite to have her wash. As I appeared from behind the curtain, I was appalled to see a female patient from the next bay asleep in the freshly vacated bed opposite! I gently woke her up and escorted her back to her own bed, much to the amusement of the visitors!

I stuck my head in our handover room to get a quick swig of my cold coffee, and had a bit of a moan to some colleagues that were in there writing notes. However, as soon as I returned to my bay, I breezed in cheerfully and carried out with my duties. That set the tone for the rest of the shift really, getting further and further behind,and feeling frustrated because of it, Just before I finished, I had to carry out an unpleasant procedure on the patient with the relatives and the ‘Aunty Mabel.’The daughter had gone but her granddaughter waited outside whilst I did it. I explained to the patient what I was going to do and made her comfortable, and it went off without a hitch. As I came out from behind the curtain, her granddaughter said to me, ” you are such a cheerful person, I really wish all nurses were like you” …

I felt absolutely awful. I had been moaning to all and sundry every chance I got, because I had been left on my own so much, and was still washing patients after lunch, not to mention behind on all my other jobs, yet this relative had praised me for being so chirpy! Although I would never dream of being miserable in front of the patients, (they have got enough to worry about as it is) I did have a face like a smacked arse (a Miss Hap special) the rest of the time! I felt a right hypocrite!!

Episode 16: Let’s Hear It For The Boys! — October 6, 2014

Episode 16: Let’s Hear It For The Boys!

Usually I like to get up early, but this morning when my phone alarm went off at 5.15am I wanted to pulverize it into little pieces, and sink back into a deep sleep. As I had very little sleep over the weekend, my head felt heavy, as I dragged myself out of bed to begin the day.

Unfortunately, I had to wake Mr Grump up as he was taking me to work today as Einstein was going to be fixing my car. His bulging eyes in a blanched, pale face told me that he still had his man flu, and just to confirm this, he let out one of his enormous sneezes. This is going to be a good day, I can tell……

As I entered the ward I realised I had forgotten to put on my belt with my uniform (Great, now I am going to be in the shit with the boss)! I might have mentioned before that I have no waist, so this bloody belt does nothing for me anyway, and I spend all day trying to re-arrange it so that it is somewhere around my middle. I could of course, wear the  tunic and trousers but for some obscure reason, I always get an ugly-looking rash on my lower leg that itches like hell, besides the fact that I look even worse in trousers than I do in the dress! Anyway…it was no good fretting over the belt, I was not brave enough to ask Mr Grump to come all the way back with it, so I would just have to hope that it went unnoticed.

Handover arrives, and out of the six of us that have turned up (Still short-staffed as usual), four of us have had this awful lurgy, and as the night staff tried to hand over, they were drowned out by various, snorts, sniffs, coughs and splutters, that had still remained with us. The other two poor unaffected staff are subtly moving their chairs out a bit from the table we are all sat around, trying fruitlessly to avoid the germs that are no doubt whizzing around in the air, looking for someone new to latch onto.

I was allocated to my usual Bay with six ladies, but the difference was this time, I was on my own! Usually there are at least two of us to a Bay, but as there weren’t enough of us to go around, and my bay was relatively easy, as I had 2 patients that could get about to the toilet, and could wash themselves with only a little help, it was decided that I could manage by myself, and if necessary ask the nurse-in-charge to help out.

It started off ok, breakfasts eaten, drugs administered, washing equipment given to those that needed it etc, and I was just going to give some help to someone else that needed it, when I was distracted by a patient from another Bay who was desperately trying to escape from the ward by the exit, which is right next to my bay. The nurse looking after her was trying to coax her back away from the door, but she was not having it, and lashed out at the nurse with the small teddy that she constantly carries around with her.

I tried to help, but to no avail, she was pulling at the doors, and banging on the glass trying to get out (we have a code to get into our ward as the doors have to be locked to stop absconders, and to get out you have to press a button on the wall some way from the door). Meanwhile, people were trying to get through the doors so there was a lot of dancing around trying to stop her getting out, whilst letting people in, trying to avoid getting whacked by the teddy at the same time!

After a while the patient got annoyed with the doctor who was innocently  reading some notes near to where she was standing, and once she had vented her spleen at him, she seemed to temporarily calm down and headed off back down the ward away from the door, swiftly followed by the harassed nurse, looking rather bedraggled as a few well-aimed blows had managed to dislodge some of her hair that was carefully tied back.

Normality resumed for a while and I got on with getting everyone washed,dressed, beds made, and helped them to sit out on their chairs, as it was by now nearly lunchtime  I could hear some shouting coming towards me , and I knew that it was the same patient coming back to have another go at getting away, this time even more angry and determined than before, and she was sparing no-one that tried to stand in her way…

It was at this moment,, that a senior matron came onto the ward, with about 10 eager Italian nurses in tow, who had just been employed by out hospital, and were visiting various wards to get a feel for what work here is like…luckily, the patient’s husband (who had been called to try to calm her down),had turned up, and had whisked her off into an office, uttering soothing words, as he went. It didn’t last that long before she started shouting at him though, before she wore herself out, and went to her bed to sleep for a while.

I managed to get through the rest of my shift (I usually only work ‘short days’) uneventfully, and just as I was writing up the last of my notes, the ward phone rang and it was for me. Mr Grump had come to pick me up and was waiting outside ( I know he is ill but it was bang on finishing time, and there was no need to ring me on the ward phone, for goodness sake) Impatient to get going and get home where he could suffer in peace,  I informed him that I had offered for him to give the ward clerk a lift home as we had an unexpected downpour; as she had a 30 minute walk, and would get soaked, I knew he wouldn’t mind dropping her off in the opposite direction to where we live, on a very busy road, with a huge school that had just finished for the day, culminating in a massive traffic jam!

Credit where it’s due, he put a smile on his face and even chatted a bit on the journey, and didn’t  swear when a van pulled out of a side street and he had to jam on the brakes to avoid it!

It’s quite sweet really, that although we might take our partners for granted a bit, they do put up with a lot. That poor patient’s husband bore the brunt of her tongue lashing as well as a good few clouts from teddy, with patience and understanding, even though it really hurt him to see her like that… and although Mr Grump does love to have a moan about everything, he was good enough to take me to and from work although he didn’t feel like it at all.

Episode 15: No rest for the wicked….. — October 5, 2014

Episode 15: No rest for the wicked…..

Yesterday I thought that, due to Mr Grump’s ‘Man Flu’ I would be better off accepting the night shift at work, I had been phoned about, due to staff shortages. (it turns out that the staff were falling like flies with the same lurgy that I had just had). I presented myself fresh-faced (well,I have still got a bit of a red nose, and I  think a cold sore is forming on my upper lip) and ready for duty half an hour early at 7pm (I am always ridiculously early for everything)!

The Ward Sister greeted me enthusiastically, but told me it had been ‘a bit of a busy day.’ Usually, this didn’t bode well for the night either, but ever-optimistic I thought that at least the shift would go quickly if we had plenty to do to keep us occupied! ….

Two of my colleagues arrived ready for the night ahead, and as we sat chatting for a while, realised that it was time for Handover, and no-one else was going to turn up for the shift, apart from us three! This was not good, we have 27 patients and are at least two staff down, not to mention that someone has to be in one particular Bay at all times, as at least four of the elderly men in there are very confused, have no concept of the time of day, and do not necessarily want to go to sleep.They are all also very unsteady on their feet, but that does not hamper them in their attempts to go for little walks, so they really need a little extra monitoring.

We decided between the three of us, who would do what; one would administer all of the drugs to all of the patients, one would sit in with the ‘boys’ to try to settle them and keep them safe,  and I would answer the buzzers in the other bays, then once the drugs were finished, two of us would work together in settling the rest of the patients….in theory, this seemed the best option, but actually we were dealing with people here, and of course, reality meant that in the end, we had to ‘borrow’ a member of staff from another ward for 20 minutes, in order to try to get all of our patients comfortable, dry and clean before they went off to sleep, (those that wanted to sleep of course).

Finally, around midnight, we managed to grab a quick drink (It was so hot on that ward that all 3 of us were dripping with sweat, and parched to go with it)! I of course was starving as well. This healthy eating I am trying to do is all very well but a small stir fry 6 hours earlier had not sustained me, and I frantically shovelled in forkfuls of my salad, whilst briefly sitting down to write some notes. The other two were also doing the same,

After that brief respite it was all systems go again; although some of the men had briefly slept, one of them, although exhausted (he was almost walking around with his eyes shut),  would not give in to sleep, and he started making a bit of noise, which in turn woke some of the others up, and they too wanted to get in on the act! This took us a while to calm down, and of course disturbed some of the other patients, who had now woken up and were buzzing for attention.

By 4am, we were all pretty frazzled ,but with still another 4 hours to go, we continued running around right up until it was time to leave at 8am. (None of us had been able to take the hour-long break we were entitled to).

I staggered out of work,and got home to find that Mr Grump was already up. His man flu had prevented him from getting a decent night sleep. I listened sympathetically this time, poor thing. He did look rather pasty, and his whole demeanor looked woebegone and dejected…perhaps I would have been better off staying home last night with him after all!!

As exhausted as I was, I found that I could only sleep for a couple of hours (my body clock was mixed up and it decided to protest at being forced to sleep in the daytime).  So it’s an early night for me tonight, as I am back in work first thing tomorrow morning!!

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