Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#JusJotJan 2018. January 9th Coffee — January 9, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 9th Coffee

We are into the second week now of Linda’s Just Jot it January. It is so nice having all these different and diverse prompts to use to get my brain working and I am still enjoying the challenge.

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 9th, 2018, brought to you by the lovely Barbara, is “Coffee.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Barbara at her blog, “teleportingweena” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://teleportingweena.wordpress.com/

I love a decent cup of coffee, but more often than not, just drink instant! I did have a fancy coffee machine that froths up the milk and everything, but it is up in the loft. The problem is that it has too many parts to wash up and clean and I was too lazy to fuss about with it.

I have got a cafetière that I drag out now and again when I fancy a nicer cup of coffee, but the problem there is, although it is not a problem to clean, I like to have cream in it which of course, is not good for my waistline. At least with instant, I use semi or skimmed milk when being really good,

I drink much more tea at home anyway, and tend to have coffee at work or when I go to a cafe. I am rather partial to a latte and enjoy that when I am at Uni, and even go as far as to have a skinny one. I don’t anywhere else though for some reason, preferring to go the whole hog with whatever milk they use as standard.

I usually take a flask of coffee to work or if we go on a trip somewhere as tea doesn’t taste so great in a flask. I didn’t realise that I was so fussy!

#SoCS Liquid — December 9, 2017

#SoCS Liquid

This week Linda has given us liqu to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used either as a start of a word or as part of a word. I choose to use it as part of the word liquid.

When I saw the prompt this week, I was originally going to write about liquor, but that wouldn’t be much good seeing as I haven’t drunk alcohol for years. When my daughter was very young I brought her up on my own so I never wanted to drink too much if she stayed the night with my mum. Young children and hangovers do not go well together at all, and I don’t believe in being drunk in charge of a child either, so never drank in her presence.

My liquids of choice are tea and coffee, pretty boring of course, but I do go mad and have the odd glass of sugar-free fizzy pop on special occasions. After all, drinking coffee at some social occasions seems a little out-of-place, unless of course, it is at a family member’s house where I can just go and put the kettle on.

Despite my huge liquid intake, when I went to the gym, I was surprised to find that I was dehydrated, well at least, according to their special scales which measures body fat other goodies.You just can’t beat good old water of course for keeping the body hydrated amongst the other benefits that it has. Funnily enough, it doesn’t count in large amounts of tea and coffee!

I Would Tell You Over A Coffee — December 12, 2015

I Would Tell You Over A Coffee

Time for a coffee break and a catch-up. Pull up a chair, sit down with your beverage of choice, and let me fill you in on what’s been happening over here at Edwina’s Episodes.

I would tell you over a coffee...that I am almost ready for Christmas. I have even wrapped some of my presents which makes me feel all festive now.  We are going over to my younger sister’s this year for Christmas day so I am lucky enough to have a meal waiting for me when I finish work, and having BoxingDay off means I don’t have to worry about going to bed early Christmas night!

 I would tell you over a coffee…that I am getting excited about the arrival of my great niece/nephew who is due in February (a couple of days before my 50th birthday actually). The last baby we had in the family was actually my own daughter, which was 12 years ago now!  I have already been looking at all the cute little baby outfits that are around at the moment, and can’t wait to go baby shopping when it arrives.

I would tell you over a coffee…that I am settling into my job quite nicely now. I really have met some lovely patients and was actually quite touched when I bumped into one of them at one of the GP surgeries. He came bowling up to me putting his arm round me and asked me when his ‘trolley’ was coming (he wanted me to refer him for a walking aid). He and his wife are such happy, cheery people, always laughing when I go round there, despite their combined health problems.

I would tell you over a coffee…that I am still working on the novel that I wrote for NaNoWriMo. Thank goodness for my fellow bloggers too, who are helping me out with it.

I would tell you over a coffee…that myself and Mr Grump are trying to resist growing older, but it is now catching us out. Neither of us wear our glasses much ( I have to for work, but never do at home), but when we went to my sister’s a couple of weeks ago and ended up playing a game, neither of us could see properly to read the questions out, so ended up sharing my sister’s reading glasses!  We were due eyes tests last week and both of us need stronger prescriptions now too, so have had to order new glasses! Contact lenses are out of the question, as I cannot poke about with my eyes, no way! Damn you middle age!






TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Christmas —

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Christmas

We have the lovely theme of ‘Christmas’ to use this week as our prompt for TJ’s household haiku challenge 

Christmas means lots of things to me, one of them is hearing Christmas carols which always make me feel festive.


Out Christmas shopping

Stop for coffee and carols

Christmas is coming!

Christmas Carols
Town Centre Christmas Carolers

Another is my Christmas tableware. Now it is now that often that we actually have Christmas dinner at home, but I love my Christmas gravy boat…


Christmas gravy boat

Mr Grump smashed it last year

Sister replaced it!

Gravy boat

I Would Tell You Over A Coffee….. — September 18, 2015

I Would Tell You Over A Coffee…..

Today we are going on a date for Writing 101! We are off to a coffee shop for a beverage of your choice (mine is a bucket of latte), and a quick catch-up! The only thing is, I will be doing all of the talking, so you will just have to sit there with a glazed expression, whilst I rabbit on.

I do love a virtual date as I don’t get tongue-tied or awkward, plus you won’t have to worry that you will end up wearing the coffee, after I have knocked it all over you in one of my clumsy moments! Anyway, let’s get on with it!

I would tell you over a coffee….that today is my first year Blogiversary, and that I am very proud to still be going with it.

I would tell you over a coffee…. that I am continuing to lose weight and have now gone from ‘obese’ to ‘overweight!’ (Bugger, I should have had a skinny latte)!

I would tell you over a coffee…. that the poll I did the other day about what type of things you would like me to write about ended with ‘things going wrong’ winning by 2 votes getting 13 in all.(You lot are cruel, but I also love to laugh at others misfortunes, so I’ll let you off)!

I would tell you over a coffee….that Miss Happ tried to pull a fast one today as me and Mr Grump have got days off by telling me she can’t go to school as her friend is off ill and that she is unable to get the bus on her own! (She was swiftly sent on her way)!

I would tell you over a coffee…. that I STILL haven’t got a start date for my new job yet, despite them telling me that they have all of the paperwork required (I am unable to give in my notice until I get it)!

I would tell you over coffee…. that yesterday I got not one, but two beautiful bouquets of flowers. One from Mr Grump, and one from my sister and niece who visited unexpectedly last night, armed with some beautiful red roses.

I would tell you over coffee…. that I can see you are bursting to go to the loo after that huge drink, so I will shut up now!!!

Episode 179: Say What You Mean Why Don’t You! — February 24, 2015

Episode 179: Say What You Mean Why Don’t You!

As I may have mentioned before, my daughter has Asperger’s and many times comes out and says exactly what she thinks about things.This is regardless as to who they are, or indeed where we are. I seem to spend a lot of time trying to explain to her why it is not polite/tactful to be so blunt, but sometimes, just sometimes I think we would all just love to say what we really think….

You have been invited to a friend’s/family member’s house for a coffee; just as you are about to leave, you get a phone call asking if you could ‘just pick up a pint of milk, packet of cigs’ and a few other bits and pieces. You don’t actually have that much money on you and you know it is going to be tricky asking for your money back when you deliver the goods. What you want to say is,

“No I bloody can’t! Why the hell did you invite me over for coffee when you haven’t even got any milk. Why can’t you do your own shopping?”

What you actually say is,

“Oh yes, of course I will . Do you need anything else?”

You are walking along the street when someone coming the other way barges into you and knocks you out of their way.

What you want to say is,

“Watch where you are going you Arsehole!”

What you actually say is,

“Sorry!” Yes really. Or at least I do!

You are in the supermarket, strapped for time trying to get grocery shopping done, only to come to an abrupt halt as two shoppers are having a chat, blocking the aisles with their trolleys. They see you trying to get by, glare at you before finally huffing and puffing, and moving a fraction so you can just about get through.

What you want to say is,

“So sorry to interrupt your important meeting just so that I can actually do my shopping as this is a supermarket not a village hall!”

“What you actually say is,

“Thanks so much, whilst looking apologetic for having disturbed them!

This one probably only applies to me as I am a ‘Philistine’ who likes their steak well-done. On going out for a birthday meal with my mum and some other family members, i and some others requested a steak. I explained how I liked it cooked and when the waitress plonked it down forcefully, and dare I say resentful in front of me she asked me if ‘it was well done enough for me or should she take it back and get the chef to cremate it a bit more’

What I wanted to say was,

“How dare you try to belittle and humiliate me in front of everyone you rude excuse for a person. You can sod off if you think I am leaving you a tip, other than get some bloody manners!”

What I actually said was,

“Thank you, that will do fine!”

Ahhh yes, wouldn’t it be good to say what we really think sometimes.  Anything you would like to say?

Episode 153: Sub Standard Breakfast! — February 9, 2015

Episode 153: Sub Standard Breakfast!

Mr Grump is in the doghouse today! Usually. he is not a very big eater; in fact,  he is one of those annoying people who rarely feels hungry. On more than one occasion he has come home from work in the afternoon with all of his lunch left, as he didn’t get time to eat it! He rarely eats breakfast either; totally opposite of me…..

This morning I had an appointment at my doctor’s surgery to get a blood test. The appointment was for 9am and I had  to have fasted from 10pm the night before, with the exception of being able to drink water. This was to test my blood glucose levels again as they want to be sure  of a diabetes diagnosis.

With Miss Hap off to school, Mr Grump and I set off for the 30 minute walk. It was freezing this morning, dank and dreary, a stark contrast from the lovely walk yesterday, but needs must and I hardly complained at all that I was hungry and thirsty throughout the journey.

After being in there for 2 minutes, it was time to walk back home. Mr Grump had got some Subway vouchers which he had brought with him and suggested we stop off there on he way back for some breakfast. I was not going to argue about that as I was rather peckish, plus we rarely eat there so it would make a change. (Actually having take-away food twice in one week is unheard of for us).

So I quickened my pace. and in no time we arrived, I flicked through the vouchers and saw that we had a good deal on 2 breakfast subs. Sounded good to me so I ordered that. I watched him as he got out a nice long sub…..then cut it in half! My face fell as I realised that the offer was for  6 inch subs not the foot long one, Oh well, never mind. I will eat Mr Grump’s as he won’t want it.

Oh but he did, He never has breakfast, is not even bothered about lunch, but today as I put the tray down on the table, he snatched up one of the subs and started tucking in! Not a thought for poor old me that had only had half a glass of water for breakfast, before a 30 minute hike, with no sustenance inside me to keep me warm (forget the fact that I am pretty well-padded, having more of a voluptuous figure)!

As we walked home, clutching our take-away coffees, I asked him if he was particularly hungry this morning,

“No, you could have had mine”. Well, how selfish can you get? He wasn’t even hungry but he still ate it, even though I needed it!

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