Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#FundayMonday You May Write Me Down In History — December 4, 2017

#FundayMonday You May Write Me Down In History

I wrote this poem a while ago in response to a challenge where we had to use a line of a well-known poem and use it to write one of our own.  I used the first line from ‘Still I Rise’ by Maya Angelou ‘You may write me down in history.’

If you enjoyed those poems, and have time for a cuppa then you might like to check out my book Rhymes of the Times. It has many more poems like this and is perfect for dipping in and out of when you fancy a little pick-me-up.

Click here to be taken to my author page where you can purchase the book.

Five Things I Hate About Winter — November 30, 2017

Five Things I Hate About Winter

The recent cold weather assures me that winter is well and truly on its way now. Although it does have many good points,  which you can check out here,  these are some of the things that I hate about it!

Well least, I would if I didn’t have my husband to do it for me! I am lucky in that Mr Grump will defrost my car when he comes back from taking the dog out for her early morning walk.

Coats are so bulky to drive in, so I take it off. Then put it on again (if it is really cold), then take it off…As soon as I go into a warm room I get boiling hot, so despite the freezing conditions outside, I rarely wear jumpers in case I combust!

Although the rain looks fine and wispy, it doesn’t take long before it soaks right through you. I would rather just have a downpour and be done with it!

Getting up at dark o’clock and coming home from work in the dark makes winter pretty drab and depressing.

Constantly! Despite always trying my best to protect myself again those winter germs, and religiously getting my flu jab, I always end up getting at least one nasty cold.

What bugs you about winter?!

November 23rd Flash Fiction Challenge – Five A Day — November 24, 2017

November 23rd Flash Fiction Challenge – Five A Day

It is time for another foray into the world of Flash Fiction. This week, Charli from the Carrot Ranch has given us this image and five a day to use, and here are the rules:

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge. Five a day

 

November 23, 2017, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about Five a Day. It does not have to be five servings of fruits and vegetables. What is needed five times a day? Have fun with what pops to mind for the prompt.

Respond by November 28, 2017, to be included in the compilation (published November 29). Rules are here. All writers are welcome!

“Eat your vegetables you two. Connie, you’ve hardly touched those sprouts.”

“But Mum, you know I hate them, anyway, they make you blow off!”

To reiterate her point, Mark her brother let out a loud PARP, and both children giggled.

“MARK!” That is enough of that, leave the table at once!”

“Pooh, that stinks, Mum I can’t eat any more now, Mark has put me off.”

Jenny sighed, the pungent aroma wafted over her; some Christmas dinner this was turning out to be.

Pouring herself a fifth glass of wine, she braced herself for the rest of the day.

 

 

I don’t know why my mind went in this direction!

Broken English and Bad Language — November 21, 2017

Broken English and Bad Language

Now I am quite an old-fashioned, traditional woman as some of you might have noticed. I am also partial to using some out-dated words or phrases as we have such a rich and beautiful language. It is a shame to let them disappear into the mists of time, shrivelling up with lack of use.

I have noticed something disturbing over the years, however, that has become more prevalent as technology advances and the world becomes smaller. The fact that I have a young daughter who likes to keep up with the latest fads and trends also brings this home to me, and I don’t like it one bit.

I may not be the best at writing, I understand that my grammar leaves a lot to be desired at times, and I am careless and shoddy with my proofreading (I know, being the Typo Queen is not something to be proud of). However, I do try to make sure that I at least make some use of the language that I was brought up with. I become very annoyed that my mother-tongue is being messed about with, chopped up and put in a blender, then coming out with chunks in it that I am unfamiliar with!

Now, I do not wish to offend anyone at all, this is my opinion, and being a bit of an old ‘stick in the mud’ I like the language just the way it is, thank you very much.

To illustrate my point, here are a few examples

Text Talk WTF??? (See, I can do some of the trendy abbreviations). You will probably not be surprised to know that when I text someone, I write the whole lot out in full, complete with punctuation. I know, I am extremely uncool, (but I do love a smiley face). I hate all of this cul8tr stuff. I mean, what the hell is that? The first time I saw it I tried to read it as a word, thinking it was ‘culture’ and that someone has pressed the 8 by mistake and did it in a hurry, (Something I am always guilty of).

All these abbreviations are fine,(if you can understand them), but I do worry that our kids are losing the art of writing. I remember when I was at school we had to learn how to write all the different types of letters, like formal, business and personal using the appropriate greeting, and signing off correctly, which I am not sure they still teach despite the fact that letters do still need to be written on occasion.

The other thing I get annoyed about is nicking words from other languages when we have perfectly good ones of our own! Miss Hap does it all the time (she knows it annoys me).

“Mum, have you got any Bobby pins?”

“What? Oh, you mean hair grips”!

Grrrrr.

 

You get the idea. Or this habit of calling each other ‘bruv!’ I am not your bloody bruv, nor am I your ‘mate!’

I know I am getting to be a moany Old Codger but I can’t help it. Is it just me or do you despair at the way language is evolving?

#SoCS – Psst — November 18, 2017

#SoCS – Psst

This week Linda has given us psst or another word that grabs reader’s attention, to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts. I will stick with good old psst as I like the sound of it.

Psst….you know that Christmas is just around the corner? Well, if you are stuck for ideas for ideas and want to give a little bit of sunshine as a stocking filler, then why not consider my book? It is a book of poems, rhymes and limericks that find humour or beauty in everyday life.

Here is the blurb:

Are you one of those people who barge through life, trying to get through it as best as you can, swimming against the everyday worries and stresses of life? Well, I have found a way to make it much more enjoyable.
Don’t you think everything sounds better when it rhymes? I certainly do. In fact, I have found that everything from doing the housework to growing older, can sound more positive and less daunting when made into a little ditty.
This book is about finding the humour, or raising a smile from the everyday things that we can all relate to in life, and looking at them from a different perspective. Nothing escapes versification; there is even a subject on sex! After all, that is one subject where there is plenty of room for laughter, even if it may not be the right moment!

 

and here is the link that will take you to Amazon where you can purchase it.  Author.to/RhymesoftheTimes

 

 

SoCS Pssst

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On The Long Road to Becoming a Nurse — November 15, 2017

On The Long Road to Becoming a Nurse

I wrote this post not long after I had started at University on the road to becoming a nurse. It is a very long journey but I have covered a lot of ground already. You can see how I am getting on now by clicking here.

 

I’m two months into my studies

And have found it pretty full-on

My head is spinning with info

And I wonder where the time’s gone!

The poor dummies have taken a battering

Where we have pummelled their chest

They’ve been prodded, pricked and manhandled

To help us perform at our best

I’ve become addicted to YouTube

To help me out with my studies

I am re-acquainted with referencing

‘Cite Them Right’ and I are best buddies!

I thought I had a good knowledge

From experience, I had before

But this is delving much deeper

And I need to learn so much more

I knew it was not going to be easy

And despite sometimes getting a bit terse

I am so happy to be studying

To become a Registered Nurse!

 

Negative Feedback for Revision — November 14, 2017

Negative Feedback for Revision

 

I thought I would write this tongue-in-cheek poem about the revision I am doing for an exam I have coming up soon at Uni. As some of you may know, I am studying for my degree in Adult Nursing, you can read how I got on at the beginning here.  It is a bit manic at the moment with a long placement coming up and four assignments due in (I have already done those at least), an exam next week and this one in a month.

 

I am getting myself into a tizzy, revision is so hard for me

Trying to get my head around Human anatomy and physiology!

Every week learning a new system and sometimes there have been two

By the time we reached reproduction, I’ve forgotten just what to do!

Hormones, don’t get me started why, do you need such a long name?

My poor head is constantly aching with information overloading my brain

Oh yes, I can label a nephron, maybe draw a neuron too

I know how my lunch is digested, on its journey to becoming a poo!

Negative feedback is not just for Ebay, homeostasis started it  first

When the body becomes dehydrated, the hypothalamus triggers your thirst.

Cardiac output is stroke volume times heart rate. This we all have to know

I’m sure that my blood pressure is rising, and that pretty soon I will blow

I have used every resource I can think of, textbooks and YouTube to start

I even found some goodies on Pinterest, great diagrams of the lung and the heart

Four weeks before the exam now, I really hope that I’ll pass

I don’t want to have to re-sit it, as that will be a pain in the arse!

(Sorry to end on a bum note, but I am all out of fancy words).

Winner of Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #2 « Carrot Ranch Literary Community —

Winner of Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #2 « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

Little & Laugh By Geoff Le Pard The time has come to talk of many things. Well, only one really. Who won the second of the fantabulous Flash Fiction Rodeo contests hosted by the dynamic, the ch…

Source: Winner of Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #2 « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

Anti-Social, I have No Pinterest In Tweeting on Linked in! —

Anti-Social, I have No Pinterest In Tweeting on Linked in!

I try using Social Networks

To bring people over to my blog

But being so tech-illiterate

I feel like I’m lost in the fog.

Linked in is more like locked out

I don’t really know what to do

Twitter makes me bitter

As I haven’t got a clue!

Pinterest lost my interest

Many months ago

On Instagram, I have no likes

Because I am so slow.

Facebook I can cope with

I don’t get in a rage

I’d love for you to visit

And  ‘like’ my Facebook page!

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge. An Order for Nanjo Castille — November 10, 2017

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge. An Order for Nanjo Castille

I have become determined to overcome my fear Flash Fiction, by continuing to practice! Over at the Carrot Ranch, Charli hosts a weekly prompt. This week’s one is very unusual and definitely appealed to my sense of the ridiculous!  Please go over there and check out the story behind this week’s prompt.

This is the image that we were given to use, and these are the rules:

 

November 9, 2017 prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a fictional story about The Real Nanjo Castille. You can set any gender, era or genre to reveal the character behind the mystery. You can also imagine the daily life of The Real Nanjo Castille. Go where the prompt leads.

Respond by November 14, 2017 to be included in the compilation (published November 15). Rules are here. All writers are welcome!

I have gone with a reply to Nanjo’s e-mail. I hope that is not breaking the rules!

Dear Mr Castle, or can I call you Nando?

I heard you have some classy bags and perfumes for sale for a tenner. I am after a Christmas prezzie for my mum and she can’t stand that Coco Caramel, but is rather partial to Optimum.  I think John Paul Goatier’s perfume in that bottle-shaped like a girdle would suit her better. Oh, and I need a handbag for my sisters. Have you got any of them Blueberry or Herman’s ones in stock? I’m prepared to pay you twenty quid for the lot! Let me know, please.

Jef Leppard

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