Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 124: Mum’s The Word….. — January 26, 2015

Episode 124: Mum’s The Word…..

I was going to write about motivation today, or rather the lack of! I am still trying to get back on my feet, so to speak, after this nasty bout of depression, Finding motivation to do anything is a little bit tricky. Anyway, I typed the word ‘motivation’ into google (probably trying to get a bit of inspiration as well), and one of the results that came back was the word ‘notivation’ which according to the Urban Dictionary means the opposite of motivation. This describes my feelings to a tee!

Now, I do love words, and their meanings; I love playing with them  and rhyming them. I have the Oxford Dictionary, a few nursing dictionaries, also  couple of foreign language ones, however I never stumbled across this urban dictionary before. This is probably because I am old and a bit naff and this urban stuff is for the cool kids.

Oh how I wish I had found this site before. It is soooo funny! I have learned new words that need no explanation, but say ‘exactly what is says on the tin’! (I nicked that expression from an advert). What do you think about ‘ambitchous’? I love that! I could find a few handy uses for that word. I love the examples used on the site of how the words are best used, but they are too naughty for here, but hilarious all the same!

Being as behind the times as I am, no doubt you have already found this site 10 years ago, and it is probably old hat. For me though, it is like a guilty pleasure! I am a woman who is easily pleased, and I have found no end of amusement and entertainment browsing through some of those words! I take my hat off to those that thought some of them up. Very clever.

I think it extremely important to have a wide and varied vocabulary, and I have just added a few more (albeit dodgy) words to mine! I might even try some of the cleaner ones out on my ‘street savvy’ 11 year old. That will make her cringe in embarrassment. She goes mad as it is when I try and sing along to some of the music she likes, but get the words wrong. Or, even worse, when there is a song out that has been rejigged and messed about with, from  years ago,and I will sing the original version!

Ahhhh yes, things are a-changing around here. I am no longer fuddy-duddy Mum,  I am ‘sick’ Mum! (In more ways than one I reckon)!

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Episode 118: Goggle-Eyed Watching The Goggle Box! — January 22, 2015

Episode 118: Goggle-Eyed Watching The Goggle Box!

Isn’t it strange how much TV can influence our lives? It can educate, shock, entertain; bring us to tears even; and you could get all of that in just one episode of your favourite soap!

Now, I don’t actually watch any soaps anymore, but recently, an actress that had been on a very long-running British soap had died at the age of 60. Anne Kirkbride or Deirdre Barlow as she was known to many, burst onto our screens 44 years ago as a fresh-faced 17 year old. She had the nation gripped with her numerous marriages, and relationships, before finally ending up with dear old Ken (again). Even our Prime Minister became involved when one storyline sent her off to the clink for a bit! And he demanded that she be freed!

It was the same with Dallas. I can sill remember the ‘who shot JR?’ saga. People even had t-shirts emblazoned with ‘I shot JR.’   Staying with Dallas, what about the uproar when Bobby died, and then came back a few years later, clean and sparkly from a nice shower! (He didn’t even have that wrinkled skin you get after a while, let alone a few years)!

Many people have grown up with some of these characters, and they almost feel like they are part of the family.We laugh with them, cry with them, and can’t wait to tune in to the next episode to see what they will get up to.

As for the Christmas episodes, well, you can’t wait! You know there’s going to be a MEGA disaster of EPIC proportions! What will it be?? Will it be a tragic accident that wipes out half of the cast? Will it be a shocking revelation? Or will there be an almighty punch-up? Whatever it is , you can guarantee there will be legions of fans, glued to their TVs in order to find out!

How many of us have also been guilty of using TV to ‘babysit’ our kids? I have to own up to this one. When my daughter was very young, I have plonked her down in front of the TV, watching one of the kids’ channels whilst I have got on with a bit of housework or something! She has never had a long attention span, so I used to make the most of however long I got!

Reality TV has really taken off now too. Oh how we love to see poor unfortunate people (mainly celebrities) making utter fools of themselves, either being locked up in a house with a load of other people who they have nothing in common with, for a few weeks, or being sent to a jungle , again with others who they don’t know and have very little in common with! Deprive them of a few home comforts, make them compete with each other for ‘treats’ , then sit back and watch it all kick off!

I am rather partial to the crime channels. I don’t know why, but they fascinate me. It is amazing how they uncover the whole story from start to finish of a crime that has been committed, sometimes with just the smallest amount of evidence. I am surprised though at the amount of spouses that get ‘bumped off’ for the insurance money, and the sly and devious methods used to try to fool everyone that the death is genuine! Hmmmm, STILL haven’t got Mr Grump insured…..

Happy viewing, I’m off to sort out some paperwork!

Episode 89: A Party Is Not A Party Without A Hedgehog! — January 5, 2015

Episode 89: A Party Is Not A Party Without A Hedgehog!

Yesterday as I was feeding one of my old ladies her pudding of jelly and ice cream, it got me thinking about party food. (Yes my mind constantly wanders to food, and I don’t usually need any prompting either)! I’m talking about the good old party food of yesteryear.

Nowadays kids’ birthday parties are a bit of a minefield. You have to send out the right invitations, which are to include at least half the class. spend a small fortune on entertainment, (bouncy castles, magicians, ds or whatever), or go to a venue that specialises in holding birthday parties, like soft play areas, the bowling alley, or even having a go at the laser gun experience! Whatever you choose, make sure you provide the good old party bag crammed with goodies, or there will be many disappointed kids, and you will not be popular with their parents either.

Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned birthday party, like the ones we had as kids (Well, if you are as old as me you did)! I’m talking about getting your best party outfit on, and trotting off with a present that had been thoughtfully picked, and wrapped nicely. There were probably only about another 4 or 5 kids there, plus the family of the birthday child, but you still enjoyed yourselves.

The spread was  always my favourite (and still is). I love all the little picky bits, cocktail sausages on sticks, vol-au-vents with tinned salmon, or even egg mayonnaise (who has those nowadays?), I love the wobbly jellies that had been moulded into bunny shapes or something fancy, the blancmange, the little triangle sandwiches with ham, or paste  or sandwich spread (you can actually still get that)! The pork pies, cut into little pieces, home-made sausage rolls and jam tarts, (my mouth is watering just thinking about it all laid out on the table), and finally the piece de resistance the cheese and pineapple chunk hedgehog! Oh yes, a party is not a party without a spud wrapped in tin foil that is studded with cocktail sticks containing chunks of cheese and (tinned) pineapple! Actually some people used little pickled onions with cheese, Either way,my happiness was complete once I has spotted that on the table!

The games were simple but fun. Pass the Parcel was the favourite. One of the adults would put a record whilst the parcel was being passed around then it would abruptly stop and a tussle would begin as to who unwrapped the layer. Similarly In Musical Chairs, once the music had stopped there would be a load of pushing and shoving as to who sat down on the chairs. Musical Statues was less of a contact game,but a scrap could still break out over who moved first!

Ahhh yes, the fun we used to have! There was none of this ‘everyone has to win something’ malarky. Oh no, if you lost, then tough! Harsh maybe but it ‘built character’. There were a few sad faces not to mention scratched records by the end of the games!  Tucking into the food, soon put a smile back on the kids’ faces and they happily sang ‘Happy Birthday’  whilst the (usually home made) birthday cake was brought in.

I think it’s such a shame that on the whole, these parties rarely exist, and everything has become so commercialised now, plus expectations are so much more, I have to say they have not been entirely forgotten though. Over the years, I have given Miss Hap the modern version of the birthday party which she enjoys with her friends, but I always do a little ‘birthday tea’ for the family, where I have of course got a cheese and pineapple hedgehog in pride of place at the table, surrounded by all the other party food I like!

Episode 82: Counting Blessings…. — December 21, 2014

Episode 82: Counting Blessings….

Sometimes coming from a large family can have its drawbacks. Having 5 brothers and sisters as well as 10 nephews and nieces means that it is very rare that we are all in the same place at the same time, especially when one of my brothers lives in Malaysia. The children are all getting older now (Miss Hap is the youngest at 11 years old), and have lives of their own, but although we have had some squabbles, and fallings out, we are generally there when it matters.

Today it was lovely to see my sister-in-law, who I have known since I was 11 years old. She is only a couple of years older than me but had a major health scare this year after being diagnosed with bowel cancer. Luckily for her, it was spotted reasonably early, and although she had to go through major surgery, she is now on the road to recovery. She is the type of person who loves to laugh, and is always a pleasure to be around. Even when I visited her in hospital after she had surgery, i was astounded to see her sitting up, bright and breezy chatting with a friend. When I went to say goodbye, I leaned over the bed to give her a kiss (not something I normally do, I am not much of a ‘kissy’ person) and being short, couldn’t reach over the bed rails. so put my hand on the bed to get some leverage only to find it was her tummy! Even though it must have hurt, she laughed at my stupidity,so as not to make me feel bad!

Her three children (well two of them are adults) were very concerned about her, and were brilliant at looking after her, visiting and going to the numerous appointments she had to attend, before and after surgery.They are a credit to her and my brother, and the way they brought them up.

My older sister has just had my daughter staying  for the weekend, taking her Christmas shopping, and spending time with her. She is very thoughtful in that way; whenever the circus or a fair comes by, she always takes her. The same goes for the Pantomime. I remember the one a couple of years ago I went to with them, it was hilarious. We shouted out more than the kids did!

My middle brother is like Peter Pan, in the fact that he looks so young for his age, He loves his smart suits and designer clothes, and is a bit of a fitness fanatic. I remember when I wanted to join the Army, I had to do a basic fitness test in order to get in, but as I hated running would need to get a fair bit of practice in if I had any hope of running a mile in the time specified. My brother not only came with me to the Army Careers Centre when I was first interested in joining  (but too young at 16) but when I did get past the interview and had to pass this fitness test, he came out jogging with me, giving me advice and tips so that I passed when I came to do it.

Two of my nieces (one from each sister) I am very close to, and to me, they are both like my own daughters. The elder one although married and in her 30’s now I still call by the nickname I gave her when she was little (sometimes even on Facebook)! I was 15 years old when she was born and having always loved children used to get up with her at night sometimes and give her bottle. I remember when she was a baby and had this HUGE pram. My mum and sister had gone to town with her but had to walk as the pram was too big to go on the bus. When I finished school it was near town so I would walk in to get my bus from there.. However, on occasion my Mum and sister, having trotted around for a while and had become tired, would get me to walk the pram home whilst they caught the bus!  In those days (early 80’s) I got rather a lot of dirty looks pushing a pram whilst in my school uniform!

My other niece who is now in her late 20’s was a little terror as a young child! She has long blonde hair and blue eyes and looks like a little angel, but can be a little bugger! Her eyes would flash and you knew she was going to do something naughty but not what it was! I remember taking her out when she was about two. She was on her reins but would keep spinning round on them trying to break loose! Anyway, this day we were in town, and she decided to try out a new expression she had learned at the top of her voice,

“F***ing Hell!”she yelled. People glared at us so she said it again. I couldn’t believe it, where the hell had she heard that and why wait till now to try it out? Anyway I told her off and said I would tell her Mum as I was mortified that people would think she was mine (bizarrely when she was very young she did look very much like me)!

Me and my younger sister used to fight like cat and dog when we were little! We could not go anywhere without having a scrap, and I always came off worse as I was so timid! However now we are pretty close. We phone each other most days for a rant, moan or just a chat, and it is really nice.. She only lives down the road as well so from time to time we go down there and have a riotous evening playing silly games and getting out the karaoke.

My other two brothers I don’t get to see much, but the one in Malaysia is pretty handy at DIY, and has helped me out many a time, when he has come over to the UK as he likes to keep himself busy! The other brother lives a couple of hundred miles away in the same town as where my Dad lived, but he comes to major family events, and he very often puts up family members when they want to go down that way as it has a beautiful beach there.

Lastly, there is my Mum. She can be a bit of a cantankerous old thing, and feels that at her age, she has every right to be (it can be a bit hurtful at times though)! However, she has helped every one of us kids out at some point and I think she does mean well, even if she doesn’t always show it!

That is the majority of my family; although we all have our different personalities and lifestyles, we do share a few things in common, a great sense of humour and a big appetite (Thanks to my Dad), There are times when they get on my nerves, as I am sure I do theirs, but I am lucky to have them all.

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