Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

What Qualities Does a Real Man Have? — November 29, 2017

What Qualities Does a Real Man Have?

For those of us that have men in our lives, we accept that they may not be perfect but according to the Bookmakers William Hill there are fifty skills that your man should have in order to qualify as a ‘real man.’ Apparently, they questioned 2000 people in order to discover what qualities it takes to accomplish this,

The list includes things like being able to tie a tie, knowing how to wire a plug, being able to change a light bulb, as well as know when your anniversary is, and how to do the laundry.

I have decided to make my own little list of what qualities I think a ‘real man’ should have, which are in no particular order:

  • Not being ashamed to cry. I don’t mean just when their team loses an important match, I mean actually showing a bit of emotion when something has affected them deeply. Having said that, I don’t want him bawling his head off at the slightest thing!
  • Enjoy shopping. A real man will not be at all fazed whilst accompanying you on a shopping trip, and that includes browsing at lingerie! It is so annoying when you go to ask your partner’s opinion on a racy little number, only to find that he has legged it!
  • Be a good cook. Although I do like to cook at times, it is great that Mr Grump loves cooking and is so good at it too!
  • Have a decent sense of humour. Because I like to laugh at things and enjoy making fun of silly situations, it is important to me to have someone to laugh with. I don’t want to be with someone who is precious about me taking the mickey out of them!
  • Not having an aversion to housework. Being able to push a vacuum around is a huge plus in my book. It is one of those jobs that I hate doing! For some reason, I have never known a man who is good at dusting and polishing, but if he is handy with a vacuum then that’ll do!
  • Enjoy driving.  Although I drive myself, I am not that keen on it, so a man must be able to drive, and drive well! It is pretty off-putting if a man is crunching the gears or taking about 20 attempts to parallel park when he is behind the wheel.
  • Be well-groomed. Now a real man knows how to be well-presented. I like him to be smartly dressed in ironed clothes, smelling nice and have clean nails! I don’t however, want him to take longer getting ready than I do, hog the mirror, nick my beauty products, or borrow my straighteners (if he has hair of course).
  • Be good at DIY.  I like a man who is handy to have around. You never know when you need a shelf putting up, a room to be decorated or someone to fix something that I have broken.This is a very important quality in my book.
  • Know when to make himself scarce! This one is pretty important as well. I don’t just mean when you are having a ‘girly’ night in and don’t want the old man around. I mean that he knows to get out of your way when you are in a mood (especially if he is the one that has wound you up)!
  • Not being a selfish lover. I won’t go into too much detail here but a real man knows how to please his partner, not just himself!

Are there any that I have missed out, what qualities do you think a real man has?

One-Liner Wednesday — February 17, 2016
Episode 356: Dirty Mind! — June 2, 2015

Episode 356: Dirty Mind!

Today at work I was looking after the men, which is something that I don’t do very often as I am usually with the ladies. One of the patients was being discharged, and once the bed area had been cleaned and the bed remade, another patient arrived with two porters wheeling his bed.

We had to transfer the new patient onto the other bed, which needed a couple of extra staff and a patslide. Just before we did this I introduced myself to the patient and confirmed his name. I asked him how he was and he told me that one of his legs and one of his arms were not working properly. I sympathised with him and told him that we would make sure he was well looked after.

In order to get him onto the other bed we had to line them both up but there was a chair in the way. One of the porters went to move it but bumped it on the corner of the bed. It didn’t touch the patient but I joked with him that we were going to hurt his good leg to even things up a little.

He laughed and said that I might as well, then indicated his head towards his nether regions and said that ‘that didn’t work either’. I of course thought he meant his ahem..privates and blustered that we couldn’t really do much about that side of things. He didn’t. He was pointing at his catheter bag!

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