Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Blogger’s Bash Blog Post Competition A Royal Party. — March 19, 2018

Blogger’s Bash Blog Post Competition A Royal Party.

I have just about managed to get my entry in on time for the Blogger’s Bash Competition with the theme of ‘Royalty.’  I hope you enjoy this bit of silliness.

Charlie was hosting a party for the wedding of Harry, his son

“To hell with stuffy formalities, I want this party to be fun!

A rollicking frolicking, knees up, chance to let down one’s heir for a while

I will show that young Meghan Markle, we royals can party with style.

Now, what about the guest list? I’d better invite Mum and Dad

Anne and Eddie and of course Randy Andy, he still thinks that he’s Jack the Lad

And who can forget Camilla?  My beloved trouble and strife

She loves a bop and a booze up, and a sneaky cig does my wife.

Kate and Wills will be desperate, to leave the kiddies at home

Wills can show off his ‘Dad Dancing’, so unbecoming for an heir to the throne!

Mike and Zara are bound to be up or it, Eugenie and Beatrice of course too,

Best I don’t invite Fergie, I can’t have her spoiling our do!

My Harry loves a good shindig, being a bit of a lad in his youth

Splashed all over the tabloids, drunken and acting uncouth.

Mind you, Dad is really no better, with the off-colour jokes that he makes

He dishes out plenty of insults, along with his many handshakes!

I need to choose some good music to make the party go with a swing

I hope they haven’t invited those Spice Girls, there’s only one of them that can sing!

There seems so much more to that Meghan, although she appears very nice

She is no shrinking violet, and has been around the block once or twice!

As long as they are both happy, which they seem to affirm

Then as Harry’s proud father, I will welcome her into ‘The Firm! ‘

#JusJoJan and #SoCS 2018 January 27th Dancing — January 27, 2018

#JusJoJan and #SoCS 2018 January 27th Dancing

Linda’s Just Jot it January and Stream of Consciousness post for today is a little different in that we are not to write about the prompt word, as you will see from the rules below, but rather something associated with it.

Check out the prompt below for more clarity.

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: movement. However, don’t use the word “movement.” Choose some sort of movement, and base your post on that. Enjoy!

I do so wish that I could dance. I love music and actually get the urge to get up and dance, but sadly my body and mind let me down. I don’t have a lot of coordination and feel very self-conscious when dancing.

When I was younger and had a few drinks, I would get up on the floor and shuffle around my handbag, especially when something came on that I loved, but mostly I would be a wallflower sitting it out.

It doesn’t help that my sisters are great dancers and love to be up on the floor, especially as they try to drag me up with them.  I remember once going to a BBQ, where everyone was dancing. As usual, I was kind of standing there awkwardly, when one of the male guests who I did not know well, grabbed hold of me and tried dancing with me. Well, if you can imagine my mortification, as I felt more embarrassed and even stiffer and jerkier than normal, and to top it off he complained about my lack of rhythm!

At home, I will dance about with abandon if I feel like it, but I tend to dread going to parties where I will show myself up, either by getting up and ‘dancing’ with my lack of rhythm or by standing around awkwardly trying to do that kind of half-dance manoeuvre!

I thought dancing was supposed to ease away your worries and stresses not add to them!

The Great Book of Lists Chapter 3.1: A Party of Choice — March 17, 2016

The Great Book of Lists Chapter 3.1: A Party of Choice

Me and my guests!
All images courtesy of Wikimedia except Pam Ayres (Flikr) and of course me!

This week’s list is all about people. We can choose whoever we like, living or dead, famous or not. The Duchesse would like us to list who we would  most like  to meet. This is going to be a tricky one, I think, but here are some people I would love to meet:

  • Maya Angelou. Since I came across her book ‘I know why the caged bird song’ several years ago, I have been impressed by how she made something of herself despite the awful tragedies and setbacks encountered in her life, not to mention the discrimination she suffered! She was a wise woman and an inspiration.
  • Elvis Presley. Now, being rather partial to a handsome man, I would love to meet him when he was at his prime. Not only would he be wonderful to look at, (I think he was one of the best-looking men ever),  but he would be able to serenade us all with his beautiful voice too!
  • Stephen Fry. I wish I had an iota of this man’s wit and intelligence. He would be the ideal guest, regaling us with his hilarious anecdotes, plus I am sure we would all learn something from him!
  • Henry VIII. Not only is this a damn good excuse to have a Medieval nosh-up, but I would love to find out what makes him tick, as he was a man of many contradictions!
  • Pam Ayres. I love her style of humorous poetry, so would definitely have to have her around so that I could pick her brains and get some fresh ideas!
  • Queen Elizabeth I. Just like her father she was quite a feisty character, a strong woman who did things her way.  What an interesting woman to chat to!

I think I would have to have several parties as I am sure there are plenty of others that I could invite!

Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt # 63.’Stag’ and ‘Noise’ — September 21, 2015

Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt # 63.’Stag’ and ‘Noise’

Ron was being pretty harsh with the prompt words this week for his weekly Haiku Challenge,  however, I am ‘having a Judy moment’ and have found the perfect use (and image for them! So here is my take on ‘stag’ and ‘noise’

Typical stag Night

Strippers, booze women and noise…

Bride is furious!

Stag Do

Episode 382: Tea Parties and Trips! — June 19, 2015

Episode 382: Tea Parties and Trips!

Yesterday was Mum’s 83rd birthday. She had invited my two sisters and myself  with our families for tea. The weather could not have been nicer and we only live a few minutes walk away which is handy.

Both of my sisters were there when we got there and one of my nieces. It was great to eat outside in the garden and also catch up with each other as we had not managed to spend all that much time together lately. Later my nephew and other niece and her husband joined us as well which completed our little tea-party,

My sister had set up the table and chairs on the raised patio so there was not a huge amount of room around it to walk freely. Mr Grump had partaken of a couple of beers and went to help himself to something to eat from the table. Unfortunately, he tripped over a quadruple plant pot type arrangement filled with compost, which upended and went everywhere; this had Mum tutting at the mess.

She also has these huge planter type boxes as well which Mr Grump fell against when he tripped. Seeing her chance, my little sister gave him a shove which sent him reeling back straight into it, squashing Mum’s plants. That set the rest of us off laughing, especially as Mum was telling my sister off for pushing him in!

Ahhhh, Just like the old days!

Into the Planter.

Episode 247: Feeling Fantastic at Fifty! — March 24, 2015

Episode 247: Feeling Fantastic at Fifty!

After reading a post today on Inventing Real Life about whether or not a woman is ‘invisible’ once they get to the age of fifty, it got me to thinking….

I am less than a year away from the big five-o myself (sob), and I am already having mixed feelings about it. Originally I thought how lovely it would be to have a big party to celebrate the occasion. It would be a great excuse for a get-together and some cheesy music to get everyone up and dancing,

Despite my two left feet, a bit of 80s music will have me heading for the dance floor and strutting my stuff, especially if there is mostly only family there to witness my humiliating ‘moves’! This is where it comes in handy having such a large clan, it is not that difficult to fill up a function room!

Another possibility is doing a one-off event, such as a skydive, or perhaps a bungee jump, or even a hot air balloon ride This is all well and good providing you are not the biggest coward around , who can barely stand on a chair without getting dizzy at the height off the floor! No, I am a huge fail in the thrill-seeker department (well at least this kind of thrill seeking)!

Once I have decided how to actually mark the occasion, I wonder what happens then? Will I fade into obscurity? Be too old and past it for anyone to bother with any more? Left on the scrap heap, destined to be humoured as that ‘mad old aunty’ that everyone gives a wide berth to at functions! The nutter with the whiskery chin (no point in bothering with keeping myself nice anymore) and the garish clothes?

Not bloody likely! I spent a lot of time in my youth where I was so quiet and shy that I faded into the background (mostly by my own choice I admit). I was the wilting wallflower at parties, head drooped trying not to draw attention to myself. The awkward, jerky, tongue-tied girl, then young woman, blushing if anyone talked to me, or looked my way. The constant loner standing out like a sore thumb at clubs, as everyone else had gone off to dance,and being self-conscious, I would hang around trying to look invisible as I didn’t want anyone to think I was waiting to be ‘picked up!’

Anyway, I have decided that I am going to try to turn over a new leaf once I get to my fifties. I am tired of being a non-entity, the forgotten face in the crowd, the recipient of the “oh, we’ve never met” comment, despite being introduced a few weeks previously. I am going to break out of that shell that has encased me for the last fifty years and Sod what anyone thinks!

Rather than disappear, I am going to stand out in my fifties. the new confident me. So what if I still trip over everything, put my foot in it, and show myself up! That is always going to be part of who I am, so rather than cringe and try hiding away, I will endeavour to shrug my shoulders, dust myself down and laugh it all off! I am going to be fabulous at fifty!

Episode 100: What Music Defines Your Life? — January 13, 2015

Episode 100: What Music Defines Your Life?

Here we are at my 100th Episode! I have decided that this one is going to be an upbeat and positive one! No mention of anxiety or weight gain allowed! Focus on the happy, that’s the order of the day! As you may already know, music is something that makes me happy, and I have taken my inspiration for today’s episode from my local radio station! One of the presenters chats to a guest about music throughout their life, and I am going to write my take on it!

On the day that I was born, ‘These Boots Are Made For Walking’ by Nancy Sinatra was number 1 in the UK charts. A good strong song, by a feisty woman,  with a  no-nonsense message! That’ll do for me; even if I still quite haven’t got the degree of feistiness that she has yet! I am getting there though. I am not as shy, by any means, as I was, and have become much more assertive.

One of the first records that I bought with my pocket-money was ‘Morning side of The Mountain’ By Donny and Marie Osmond.That was probably influenced by my older sister who worshipped the Osmonds,  Donny in particular. I did however, love them as well, and luckily, as she was older than me and could afford to buy their albums, I spent many a happy time with her listening to them.

As a little footnote to that story, about 10 years ago, Donny was performing at Leeds Castle, which was not too far away from where we live, My sister and her friend had got tickets, and invited me to go with them. It was wonderful. Beautiful surroundings on a balmy summer evening (no, it didn’t rain). He had a few large screens up which showed pictures of his family as they were then (which made me cry when I saw how old they all looked). The mostly middle-aged female crowd of around 6500, still swooned, and crooned along with him, singing his most popular numbers.

As a teenager, I was into all sorts of music, but I particularly remember ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’ by Rainbow, as well as Meatloaf’s ‘ Bat out Of Hell’ album. My Mum and step-dad used to go away at weekends sometimes in their caravan by themselves. My older sister and brother would look after us, which was great as we would inevitably have a house party! I remember extremely loud music, loads of teenagers, and a lot of smoking and drinking going on! However, it was pretty innocent really, as we never got busted.

I left home at 18 to join the army, which is where I originally met Mr Grump. For me ‘Love Is A Battlefield’ and ‘We Belong’ by Pat Benetar pretty much summed up our relationship back then! I also used to listen to a lot of Bruce Springsteen with my best mate Karen as well. She was responsible for Mr Grump and I getting back together 25 years later!

The song at my wedding to Miss Hap’s father was ‘Eternal Flame’ by the Bangles. a beautiful song, and it was a good day; unfortunately  though,the flame went out!

When I was in labour with Miss Hap, my two sisters were with me in the delivery room. It was a boiling hot evening around 11pm and I knew my daughter was about to be born. We had brought some CDs in with us to while away the hours, and for a bit of distraction. Anyway, as Miss Hap came into this world Tom Jones was belting out ‘It’s Not Unusual’. Probably not the first choice for many, but I love that number!

My step-dad was very good with Miss Hap when she was a baby, I had moved back home with him and Mum just before she was born, and they both doted on her. He would proudly push her pram around the town when we went out, and was very good at soothing her when she cried (or bellowed, as she was VERY loud)! Sadly, he became ill with lung cancer and died when my daughter was only 4 years old . My Mum chose ‘ The Power of Love’ by Jennifer Rush for the funeral. A very emotional song that is still quite hard to listen to.

Mr Grump and I decided that we would have a small, family wedding, and luckily for us, my brother-in-law is a very good musician and singer. We chose ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol as one of the songs we would like him to sing for us, which was wonderful. He also sang ‘Hotel California’ by the Eagles which we all love, and everyone sang along. A very touching moment. He and my sister recorded it for our 1st anniversary which was brilliant.

My Dad always loved the musical ‘The Phantom of the Opera’. I think he and my step-mum had been to see it several times. When he sadly died a couple of years ago, she chose a couple of the songs from it for his funeral. However, for me, it was the hymn ‘Going Home’ that was more poignant, as well as very apt.

I know I said I was going to be upbeat, and yet  I have included some songs that have been at terribly sad occasions. However, they still evoke happy memories of  two men that were very influential and positive figures in my life. It’s funny how we associate songs with people as well as events in our lives.

I hope you have enjoyed my little musical trip down memory lane.

Episode 89: A Party Is Not A Party Without A Hedgehog! — January 5, 2015

Episode 89: A Party Is Not A Party Without A Hedgehog!

Yesterday as I was feeding one of my old ladies her pudding of jelly and ice cream, it got me thinking about party food. (Yes my mind constantly wanders to food, and I don’t usually need any prompting either)! I’m talking about the good old party food of yesteryear.

Nowadays kids’ birthday parties are a bit of a minefield. You have to send out the right invitations, which are to include at least half the class. spend a small fortune on entertainment, (bouncy castles, magicians, ds or whatever), or go to a venue that specialises in holding birthday parties, like soft play areas, the bowling alley, or even having a go at the laser gun experience! Whatever you choose, make sure you provide the good old party bag crammed with goodies, or there will be many disappointed kids, and you will not be popular with their parents either.

Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned birthday party, like the ones we had as kids (Well, if you are as old as me you did)! I’m talking about getting your best party outfit on, and trotting off with a present that had been thoughtfully picked, and wrapped nicely. There were probably only about another 4 or 5 kids there, plus the family of the birthday child, but you still enjoyed yourselves.

The spread was  always my favourite (and still is). I love all the little picky bits, cocktail sausages on sticks, vol-au-vents with tinned salmon, or even egg mayonnaise (who has those nowadays?), I love the wobbly jellies that had been moulded into bunny shapes or something fancy, the blancmange, the little triangle sandwiches with ham, or paste  or sandwich spread (you can actually still get that)! The pork pies, cut into little pieces, home-made sausage rolls and jam tarts, (my mouth is watering just thinking about it all laid out on the table), and finally the piece de resistance the cheese and pineapple chunk hedgehog! Oh yes, a party is not a party without a spud wrapped in tin foil that is studded with cocktail sticks containing chunks of cheese and (tinned) pineapple! Actually some people used little pickled onions with cheese, Either way,my happiness was complete once I has spotted that on the table!

The games were simple but fun. Pass the Parcel was the favourite. One of the adults would put a record whilst the parcel was being passed around then it would abruptly stop and a tussle would begin as to who unwrapped the layer. Similarly In Musical Chairs, once the music had stopped there would be a load of pushing and shoving as to who sat down on the chairs. Musical Statues was less of a contact game,but a scrap could still break out over who moved first!

Ahhh yes, the fun we used to have! There was none of this ‘everyone has to win something’ malarky. Oh no, if you lost, then tough! Harsh maybe but it ‘built character’. There were a few sad faces not to mention scratched records by the end of the games!  Tucking into the food, soon put a smile back on the kids’ faces and they happily sang ‘Happy Birthday’  whilst the (usually home made) birthday cake was brought in.

I think it’s such a shame that on the whole, these parties rarely exist, and everything has become so commercialised now, plus expectations are so much more, I have to say they have not been entirely forgotten though. Over the years, I have given Miss Hap the modern version of the birthday party which she enjoys with her friends, but I always do a little ‘birthday tea’ for the family, where I have of course got a cheese and pineapple hedgehog in pride of place at the table, surrounded by all the other party food I like!

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