Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

An Open Letter to Patient’s Relatives. — September 20, 2015

An Open Letter to Patient’s Relatives.

Dear Patients’ Relatives

We are pretty flexible when it comes to visiting hours;  3pm until 8pm every day is pretty generous, especially as we also allow visiting outside of these hours for many other circumstances. This enables most of you time to spend with your loved ones.

We do ask you to remember however, that we appreciate how special your relative is to you, but so is every other patient on the ward. Sometimes we have to prioritize, and yes, we will plump your mum’s pillow up for her, but please, just let us deal with this patient first who is hemorrhaging.

We know your father might have told you that he hasn’t eaten today, but before you berate us loudly in front of everyone, let me show you his food chart, where you can see that he ate all of his porridge for breakfast and had a roast beef dinner for lunch, not to mention rhubarb crumble for pudding! You know he has short-term memory problems and often forgets, so please just check with us.

Oh, I know your nan has just had an ‘accident.’ I am just going to get some of our toiletries and a hospital gown as it seems that no-one has brought any in for her. Yes, we do have a small supply, but we tend to save these for those that don’t have any visitors or family to look out for them.

I understand that you want to help and in so many cases you do, especially when you encourage your relatives to eat, which they are more likely to do for you than us. Please be careful though that you do not give other patients some chocolate or sweets, as you may unintentionally cause them some problems, particularly if they are diabetic and are being carefully monitored, or if they have swallowing difficulties and need a special diet, or are even nil by mouth.

We love to see our patients happy and enjoying their time with you. All we ask is that, if there is something troubling you, please come and speak to us, before yelling. We are doing our best you know, and all patients are as important to us, as your relative is to you. sometimes, especially, when we are so very understaffed, we have to prioritize our care,so please have a little patience…

Keep Calm!

From The Nursing Staff


Episode 484: Back To Work. — September 6, 2015

Episode 484: Back To Work.

How time flies! Tomorrow it is back to work for me, after having had a week off. I had been looking forward to having a couple of days for myself at the end of last week as Miss Hap went back to school and Mr.  Grump was working. (Pah, he went and got Man ‘Flu which put paid to my peace and quiet).

The topsy-turvy hours that I worked are also over, so there are no more nights for a while. They are not so bad, it is just the lack of sleep in the daytime that I can’t get a handle on!

As I mentioned, I have been offered a new job which I am excited about but I have to wait for the security checks to be done which can take ages so I have to wait before I hand my notice in which is pretty frustrating as I just want to get stuck in now. Patience is not exactly my strong point, except of course when dealing with my patients!

Episode 255 : Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 4: Patience and Love — March 27, 2015

Episode 255 : Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 4: Patience and Love

I recently received the following invitation from Author SB Mazing

I’m about to invite you to join in a challenge I recently accepted. Five Photos, Five Stories. I thought this challenge could present you with the opportunity of viewing blogging from a different angle, to do something different, anything that suits you for that matter. It’s entirely up to you. …

The Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge rules require you to post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or simply a short paragraph – it’s entirely up to you.

Miss Hap is really close with my mum, she really loves her Nanny. She likes to go over there for her Sunday roast (granted Mum’s are the best), and the occasional bacon sandwich. They enjoy each other’s company, and it amuses me when Miss Hap occasionally comes out with one of my mum’s ‘classic sayings’ that are old beyond her  years!

Anyway, the photo I chose is one of a ‘Sequin Art’  rose. My daughter had previously done a couple of small Sequin Art pictures, but had decided that she would love to make one of a rose, as it is Nanny’s favourite flower, and give it to her for Christmas.

Now these things are fiddly to say the least, and Miss Hap is not known for her ability to concentrate on anything for more than a nanosecond (well, certainly as far as homework is concerned at least)! However, she spent almost every spare waking moment on finishing this rose in time for Christmas.

The finished result is stunningly beautiful, and of course, is sparkly and eye-catching too. Mum was beyond thrilled and it is hanging up in her front room.

My daughter really loves her Nanny!

I would like to invite  Wendy of the Rock to join in.

Then each day, nominate another blogger to carry on this challenge.

Accepting the challenge is entirely up to the person nominated, it is not a command. And actually everyone can join in. So feel free to if you like the idea.

Episode 204: Patience With Patients! — March 7, 2015

Episode 204: Patience With Patients!

One of the things us nursing staff get told a lot by some of  the relatives is that,

‘you have the patience of a Saint, I could never do your job’. It is strange how much our patience varies depending on who we are dealing with and what the situation is…..

On Thursday and Friday I was working in my normal Bay, and one lady in particular was pretty ‘vocal’ . Now she is 97 years old and extremely deaf (the hearing aid she wears has a flat battery I think) so she talks at FULL BLAST. Now she had been a moved to my bay from a side room as she did not like to be on her own.

I was checking that each patient was eating their breakfast when I noticed she hadn’t even got any. So I asked her why not. After repeating the question several times increasing the volume until she could hear me she replied


Fair enough , but she had to eat something so I asked if she liked bacon which she did, Great, good start. “Sausage?”


“I ONLY LIKE FRIED EGGS, NOT ANY OTHER KIND”.  I assured her that I would get her some bacon and  fried eggs and trotted off to phone the kitchen.

Now there were two of us in the Bay and only five patients at this point as one of the beds was closed and we were not able to take any new ones in. Luckily most of the other ladies were either feeding themselves or being helped by the other nurse.

I placed my order with the kitchen and in due course one of the staff appeared carrying a tray. I was disappointed to see that there was scrambled egg with the bacon that I had ordered even though I had specifically asked for a fried egg. I tried my luck with my patient anyway!


I tried to explain about the kitchen sending up the wrong egg and I would change it but no, she was not having it. I tried offering a bacon sandwich, Nope. She was not having it and I was severely berated for my incompetence for good measure as well.

Annoyed with the kitchen I phoned the help desk again (yes we can’t phone direct, everything is through the helpdesk). I explained what had happened and they told me that as the meals were pre-prepared it may not have been possible to have a fried egg due to their not being enough staff to make one.

Fuming, I was muttering to myself about how I could go down there myself and cook the bloody egg. How hard is it to cook a fried egg for Christ’s sake?! It’s not as if it takes long.

Anyway, my patient was mad now, and refused to eat anything. I knew this was not going to bode well at wash time – and it didn’t! She had come in with no toiletries so I had put some of our soap in her washbowl and brought some disposable wipes over to wash her with.


I explained that they were at home and that I would have to use our stuff for now. She was not happy but did finally agree to let me help her, and also get her dressed in her own clothes that someone had just brought in for her.


“It is just here”


“Ok. here it is”


“Sorry, let me try again”


This went on for a bit until I got it right. She did have a sandwich an hour after the failed breakfast attempt, but when a visitor came, she told them she had ‘nothing to eat, and her hair wasn’t brushed’ (actually it was because I did that wrong and suffered her wrath for it). She also told the visitor how much worse she felt since coming into hospital because of the appalling way we looked after her!

Now I know that by the end of a very long two days (I have amalgamated them into one so you get the gist) my patience was wearing a bit thin, but it is my job to look after my patients, and actually as gruff and crabby as she was, we did actually get her to laugh, and I got a lovely hug from her!

Now if Miss Hap had tried any of that kind of talk with me, things would have been very different!

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