Stephanie from ‘Once Upon your Prime ‘ did a fantastic spoof on ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ which you can read here. I was so impressed with her version, and I wanted to have a go at this myself. Every year I have to read it every night in December to my daughter. we take it in turns to read a verse out each, and we both love it. I have not gone with a theme as Stephanie has, just given it a bit of jiggery-pokery here and there to give my take on it!!   Hope you enjoy…

‘Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap

The turkey still thawing, no time for a nap!

The stocking was dragged out from last year

We’re hoping and praying St Nick will appear!

Miss Hap was all nestled snugly in bed

With iPhones and Converses going around in her head

Mr Grump, me and Roxy at last went to bed

To get ourselves rested for the big day ahead!

When out on the square there arose such a row

I awoke to see what was happening now!

I looked out the window and saw a large crowd

“Bugger off home!”. I shouted out loud.

The moon was hidden by a cloudy grey sky

But I thought I saw something out the corner of me eye.

Eight lively reindeer so happy and bright

Were guiding a sleigh through the darkness of night.

With a little old driver so chubby and cute

Who appeared to be wearing a red and white suit!

His reindeer were racing enjoying the game

He wanted attention so called them by name.

Now Dasher, now Dancer now Prancer and Vixen

On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen

Head for the roof! Head for the trees!

Now hurry up, hurry up, hurry up please!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly

Are swirling around in the wintery sky

This little old man with his sleigh full of toys

Was ready to reward the good girls and boys.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The clanking and banging of their bloody great hooves!

The next thing I knew, I heard a loud ‘BOOM’

And St Nicholas had landed in my front room!

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his toes

And I couldn’t help smiling at his odd-looking clothes

He had a large sack that was filled to the top

He looked like a man who had just robbed a shop!

His eyes how they twinkled in spite of his years

His nose was all rosy – and so were his ears!

His mouth was formed into a huge cheesy grin

He appeared as if he’d been hitting the gin!

The butt off a cig was clenched in his lips

And his belt was a little sung round his hips.

The size of his tummy was really quite shocking

And it swayed side to side as if it were rocking!

He was jolly and plump a right happy old thing

And I was excited to see what gift he would bring

He looked at his sack and gave me a smile

And added a parcel to Miss Hap’s huge pile!

He spoke not a word but kept filling her stocking

Then gave me a look that was kind of mocking

And then in an instant he was no longer there

He appeared to have vanished into the night air.

He sprang to his sleigh as night became dawn

And then he was off. It was now Christmas Morn

But I heard him call out as he opened a beer

“Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!”