Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 433: Tuesday Titbit. My Top Turn-Offs 18+ — July 28, 2015

Episode 433: Tuesday Titbit. My Top Turn-Offs 18+

I have written in the past  for my Tuesday Tidbit post, about getting  ‘in the mood for getting it on’. Well this week I am going to mention a couple of things (in my opinion). that are likely to kill the mood stone dead.

  • Toe sucking. Yuck, yuck and yuck again! Given my aversion to feet (even my own), this is never going to be top of my list of things to try out in the bedroom. I can think of nothing worse than putting a hairy, yellowing, thick-nailed toe anywhere near my mouth let alone sucking it! Dear God, that sounds more like some form of torture to me (especially if a fungal infection is involved)!
  • Skimpy briefs. These don’t really do it for me at all, and please no, don’t let it be a thong! They look good on absolutely no-one at all! I am not one to be impressed by the ‘posing pouch’ type of underwear, in fact I would probably burst out laughing!
  • Breaking wind. I know some men find it funny, but when in bed with a view to getting a little bit of action, I don’t want to hear anyone ‘parp’ and then get hit with the reek of rotten eggs that has been helpfully wafted in my direction.
  • Trying to skip the starter and head straight for the main course! Like most people, I want the full experience. The kissing, stroking, exploring… building up slowly, taking a bit of time, teasing, that kind of thing, not trying to get stuck in!
  • Rough handling. I do not enjoy clumsy tweaking, prodding and poking before I am  ready to get the party started!

What turns you off in the bedroom?

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘Y’ — April 29, 2015

Blogging From A-Z Challenge: ‘Y’

Yay! Down to the very last two now in the Blogging From A-Z Challenge and this means that it is the letter ‘Y’s turn! This letter stands tall and proud but is open and yielding. It is not a popular letter for starting words. but I have found one that makes me laugh at the way it sounds, although it is not a very pleasant word. I give you…..

Yob. Yep, short but not sweet. It is a thuggish kind of a word, The group of teenage lads hanging around swigging beer and smashing stuff up for the sheer hell of it. The loutish behaviour at a football match, with groups of rival fans seeing how many people they can beat up.

It is the unruly mob kicking off in town on a Saturday night after a few pints, looking for trouble. It’s the little sod that has keyed your car in the car park. The lowlife that mugs old ladies, or the delinquent who steals anything that isn’t bolted down!

Yobbo can also be used to mean exactly the same, if you prefer the sound of that!

Episode 226: Choppy Seas And A Chilly Breeze! — March 17, 2015

Episode 226: Choppy Seas And A Chilly Breeze!

I like the concept of today’s Blogging 101 task. Yesterday we used a prompt which we had to interpret to fit into our blog’ today we have to read six other blogs that used the same prompt and comment on at least two of them. I have actually commented on more than that as there were some great takes on it.

If we felt like posting today (which I always do, then we could use one of the comments we left, expand on that and use the inspiration for the post. I love the beach in all weathers and I enjoyed the pictures that donegallizdoyle used in her post entitled ‘Wild Winter Beach’. I love the drama of the sea throughout the year and here are my thoughts on Portland and Chesil Beach, which unsurprisingly are only about five miles from Weymouth in Dorset, which I wrote about yesterday.  

As well as spending a lot of time on the beach at Weymouth, Dad used to take us to Portland. I loved it there as well. The weather always seemed to be rather brisk, and very windy, and the sea is extremely hazardous. Not only are there many lost vessels lurking under the turbulent sea, but Portland Bill itself boasts not one, but three lighthouses!

Pulpit Rock – Portland. Photo by Kris Dutson

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As kids we all used to love clambering over the giant rocks in Portland that came out of the sea. My brothers however would always climb to the top of Pulpit Rock (much to my terror as I hate heights and was terrified they would fall into the crashing waves below) Dad was not averse to clambering up the rock himself, but mostly he would be holding mine and my little sister’s hands, guiding us onto the safest rocks.

Occasionally, we would go further along to Chesil beach which was too pebbly and wavy for my liking! My family are all very strong swimmers, and although I can swim, I am more of a chicken than them, and when they played ‘chicken’ in the waves,  I was only about knee-deep because even there the waves could be quite high.

Portland is on the Jurassic coastline in the UK, so there were interesting fossils to discover, and in time a museum was opened in one of the lighthouses showcasing some wonderful findings from around the area.

Again, the last time I went to Portland was when my dad had just died. We had gone down to Dorset for the funeral, and I wanted to go to Portland one last time as a special tribute to my dad. The last time he was well, was the summer before (he died in the April) and we took him and my stepmum to Portland. Dad was in a wheelchair by then and we sat outside eating ice creams and looking out to see on a glorious day.

We then went to the museum where Dad was explaining to my daughter all about the history of Portland making it interesting for her. He was a very educated and knowledgeable man, and loved to make people laugh as well.

Anyway, myself, Mr Grump, my younger sister and her husband took a trip to Portland on this very wet and cold April day. It didn’t deter us as we had some nice warm jackets; We visited the places Dad loved so much.

He would have so loved to have been there with us!

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