I have written in the past for my Tuesday Tidbit post, about getting ‘in the mood for getting it on’. Well this week I am going to mention a couple of things (in my opinion). that are likely to kill the mood stone dead.
- Toe sucking. Yuck, yuck and yuck again! Given my aversion to feet (even my own), this is never going to be top of my list of things to try out in the bedroom. I can think of nothing worse than putting a hairy, yellowing, thick-nailed toe anywhere near my mouth let alone sucking it! Dear God, that sounds more like some form of torture to me (especially if a fungal infection is involved)!
- Skimpy briefs. These don’t really do it for me at all, and please no, don’t let it be a thong! They look good on absolutely no-one at all! I am not one to be impressed by the ‘posing pouch’ type of underwear, in fact I would probably burst out laughing!
- Breaking wind. I know some men find it funny, but when in bed with a view to getting a little bit of action, I don’t want to hear anyone ‘parp’ and then get hit with the reek of rotten eggs that has been helpfully wafted in my direction.
- Trying to skip the starter and head straight for the main course! Like most people, I want the full experience. The kissing, stroking, exploring… building up slowly, taking a bit of time, teasing, that kind of thing, not trying to get stuck in!
- Rough handling. I do not enjoy clumsy tweaking, prodding and poking before I am ready to get the party started!
What turns you off in the bedroom?
I think you pretty much listed all of what turns me off. I don’t like the lights to be on full blast. I don’t have an issue with light but I don’t like to feel like being examined…
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Oh yes, I know what you mean on that one, Soft lighting is much more flattering! 🙂
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Yep 🙂
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Great list! That last one especially!
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Thanks. I hate that!
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I am just getting over your catheter story from last week, and you have gone and split my sides again! Bless you! xxx
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Glad you enjoyed it 😆
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See? Now you know why my toenail was such an issue yesterday! haha! Yes, I agree with the pouch-ware. Don’t these guys understand that they can’t go swimming if the water is frigid? 😀
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Ha Ha! Horrendous thought.
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Ew, ew, ew. I really wish I could get this list and that photo out of my head!!!!!! I really loved your “unctuous” post (especially since it includes a picture of kissing toes!!), but my favorite is your beach story. Except for things being closed, my favorite time at the beach is when it’s abandoned, and it DOES feel like the Twilight Zone … in a non-scary kind of way. But now I’m left craving a latte …
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I am glad you are enjoying my posts. It is good to have a bit of silliness now and again to keep us going 🙂
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Hahaaa great list Judy. Not Guilty. Honest😂😂😂
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Well you must be a one-off then!! 🙂 🙂
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Lol special me you know. Totally unique. Lol
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Yes, special indeed 🙂
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Lol
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Yes, Judy! All confirmed!!!
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Ha! Glad you agree Erika 🙂
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Totally !!!
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Agree with all of them
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Ha! 🙂
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Well I think you’ve just about said them all, but I’d have to add chocolate body paint! Far too messy, especially when there are clean sheets on the bed!
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Oh yes, you are right. As much as I like chocolate, and whipped cream etc I can’t stand the mess on the sheets either, and i think a plastic sheet would kill the mood somehow! 🙂
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Not such a smart idea to suck on a lollipop 🍭 while reading about the toe thing. Picking nose 👃 and smelly feet 👣 are a no-no for me
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YUCK to both of those as well. Hope the lolly was nice!! 🙂
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This is me!
Judy E Martin
Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy, in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just finished University as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, 'Rhymes of the Times.' I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together, and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series also. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.
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