Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Congratulations to Diana! :-) — November 28, 2017
Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge Porch — November 2, 2017

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge Porch

As you may have been aware, over at the Carrot Ranch, there has been a mega load of Flash Fiction Challenges over the last month in particular.  I have long been an admirer of Flash Fiction, but apart from writing them in the form of verse, rarely venture into that territory as it is completely out of my comfort zone.   Just lately though, I have entered 7 out of the 8 Carrot Ranch Rodeo Flash Fiction competitions, and thought that I would have a go at this one too!

This is the image that we were given to use, and these are the rules:

 

November 2, 2017 prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story a chair on a porch. Why is it there, and what might it mean? Think about using it as a prop or the main thrust of your story.

Respond by November 7, 2017 to be included in the compilation (published November 8). Rules are here. All writers are welcome!

 

Amelia sank into the overstuffed chair which enveloped her body with warmth.

“The, ahem, Doctor will be with you shortly, Miss.”

Nervously, twisting her rings, Amelia’s stomach lurched contemplating what she was about to do.

Distracting herself from the pounding in her head, she glanced around the porch. Comfortable and homely, like any other house in a pleasant neighbourhood. Only it wasn’t.  The odorous smell of bleach pervaded the room; Amelia shuddered.

“How many desperate women had sat on this chair awaiting their fate?”

“Good morning Ms Johnson.”

“It’s Sergeant actually. I am arresting you on suspicion of murder…”

#Writespiration #74 The Red Lipstick — January 6, 2016

#Writespiration #74 The Red Lipstick

write-about-the-red-lipstick

I have decided that for this week’s Writespiration, created by Sacha Black, I would actually try to write a Flash Fiction story as opposed to a poem. (This is very new for me). The prompt is ‘The Red Lipstick.’

Jane strolled back casually towards the dorm.  She had given up a night of passion with Rob to babysit for one of the teachers at the last minute and had spent the night there.  Still being early on this lazy Saturday morning, Jane anticipated how much fun she and Rob would have making up for lost time.

As she drew closer, her stomach fluttered with excitement.  Rob was so gorgeous; she still couldn’t believe he had chosen to go out with her.  He had a gaggle of giggling admirers, not least ‘Slutty Sue’ the pouty blonde with the overdeveloped curves to counteract her underdeveloped brain!  Jane’s thoughts always turned spiteful when she thought of her bitter rival for Rob’s affections.

Rob had been a player, but Jane was convinced she had changed him, ignoring warnings from her friends that he was still messing around.  He was in love with her; he had even told her so two weeks ago when he was trying to relieve her of her virginity.  Of course, she gave in to him on hearing this, as he knew she would.

She entered the old building now, which was still, and quiet, and noticed that Rob’s keys were not in the door, as usual, waiting for her to let herself in.

“Rob, ROB, are you in there?”  Jane hammered at the door.

Eventually, she heard a ‘click’ of the lock and Rob called for her to come in.  He looked ghastly.  His face pale, hair messed up, and the room stank of stale beer and cigarettes.  Jane wrinkled her nose but leaned over to greet Rob with a kiss, trying not to recoil from the rancid blast of putrid air that emanated from his mouth.  As he reached up to put his arms around her neck, the sheets slipped off his shoulders.

There written in bright red lipstick across his back  was one word.  ‘ Sue.’

 

I Won!!! — November 20, 2015

I Won!!!

I can’t believe I did it, but I won the NaNoWriMo Challenge! Last night I completed just over 50 000 words of the Novelette that I had wanted to write.

I decided to set myself the challenge after being inspired by so many of my blogging friends. I have never written anything other than poems really, but there was a story that I wanted to tell, and have done for some time. I have been quietly picking up hints and tips from the established authors we have among us here on WordPress.

The one piece of advice that I had from a few different people was just to write, get it all down and the editing process can come later, so that is what I did. Every night I set aside two hours after work where I would write, and at weekends, I would do as much as I could at any opportunity I got. It paid off because I have got there a little earlier than expected!

So I have got the bare bones of my story, a little jumbled up perhaps; character names have changed over the course of it, but that is down to me getting carried away and not checking my notebook properly I have got a hell of a lot of work to do if I do want to try and make something of it, but that is for later on.

I thought this challenge was particularly relevant to me now as it is coming up to my 50th birthday (Sssh, yes I know I don’t look a day over 65), and it is something that I can be proud of achieving before reaching that terrifying (to me) milestone!

Anyway, I did it and I beyond thrilled!  Now that is enough of the trumpet blowing, I shall be back in the land of blog soon. It is funny how much I missed you all  despite managing to get a couple of posts in.  Thanks again, for all of your encouragement and support. it really helped to spur me on!

 

 

 

 

Free-For-All Friday #30 — September 25, 2015

Free-For-All Friday #30

Wow, these Friday Free-for-Alls are coming around quickly. I have got a few treats for you this week. A sumptuous soup, A list for when you are losing the will, and a vibrant vignette, not to mention a fondness for fountain pens!  Please visit these blogs because it is so difficult not to choose every post that they write!

Joeyfully Stated As you might have guessed, this post is so much more than just about soup, although I got a warm, tingly feeling reading it!

Fear of The Reaper. We all have those days from Hell when we wonder why we had bothered getting up! This made me laugh ( I know I am mean, but some of it was funny, at least to me)!

My Write This is another blog that I found whilst on the Writing 101 course. I loved this story, and a few of his others too!

Travelling Banana. This post struck a chord with me, and brought back many fond memories.

Short and sweet again this week, but there are loads on these blogs to keep you going for  a while!

Happy Friday!!

Pleased To Meet You. — September 22, 2015

Pleased To Meet You.

Mike arrived home, furious. He had rushed home on orders from his wife, and just managed to catch the train.  Exhausted, he tried to claim the last seat, but was barged out of the way by a lanky, long-haired lout, who told him to ‘eff off Grandad’.

Mum had gone all out thought Liz as she glanced through to the dining room. Clasping Zed’s hand she dragged him in to meet her parents.

“This is Zed:” you finally got to meet him.  She looked at Mike, “I’m so excited Dad, we’re expecting a baby”.

Zed reddened, “We’ve met, Congratulations Grandad!”

This was written as a challenge for Writing 101, I have chosen to write a story in 100 words as it is so different in both word count and in content to what I normally write; fiction writing is totally out of my comfort zone.

Episode 430: One-Liner Challenge — July 25, 2015

Episode 430: One-Liner Challenge

I have been invited by the lovely, and talented Rich to take part in the One-Liner Challenge which he created. Although I am not a great story-teller I thought I would give it a go as it is such a wonderful idea, plus the story is coming along beautifully with its twists and turns.

So here are the rules.

1. Write one line in the ongoing story
2. Pass the challenge onto the next victim/Nominee
3. Link back to your nominator.
4.link back to me, waffles if you could please this could be very interesting.
5. Copy and paste all the previous story and add your line in italics.
6. If you decide you don’t want to take part please send back or contact the me, Waffles and I can send it elsewhere.

Here is the ongoing story…

image

Chapter 1…THE BEACH
It was a warm sunny day and sea was an almost transparent shade of blue.
I lay there, watching the waves lap on the shore, a drink in hand, a tear rolling down my cheek.
I stand up yelling at that boy who threw this load of sand into my eyes and my drink when he jumped over me.
I then grabbed my water gun, running fast after him, I was laughing, he was jumping over people to escape. He turned to look at me, but didn’t see the two children in front of him carrying two delicious looking ice cream cones.
As he barreled into the children, knocking the ice-cream from their grasp, I caught one of the scoops of pistachio and hurled it at his head as I fell laughing to the ground!
And what luck, his mouth was open and he gulped down the scoop, spitting nuts rapid-fire style like a rabid squirrel! And wouldn’t you know it, a squirrel leaped from a nearby tree, performing a flying maneuver worthy of the best traveling circus family, catching the nuts in his mouth in mid-air!!
It was all too fantastical and I wondered for a moment if I’d forgotten to take my medication earlier…or perhaps I took too much!
I opened my eyes with a jolt, peeled my face from the sticky plastic beach lounger, and rubbed my eyes-sun and too many mojitos make for ridiculous dreams!
Unaware to her, the man behind the one way mirror furiously scribbled down notes and couldn’t help but marvel at how his creation truly believed IT was a real human being and he hadn’t even begun stage 2984DU which everyone with his intellect knows is when the real fun starts!
Professor James Loxet knew he had just one more test to carry out before the implant of the 2984DU chip, Just one more social situation, the dinner party. The thought of going to this party, surrounded by so many people, just made James cringe to his core, he hated crowds of people! Yet, at the nagging of his close friends, James, picked himself up from the beach and headed home to change for the party. Despite his nagging headache and the gnaw of anxiety in his gut, James found a sort of peace in the ritual of dressing.
The party was a very formal affair, so James decided to put on his best black tuxedo. He stood before a mirror, fidgeting at the tight-fit of his white shirt and tie, trying to feel comfortable.
The minute he walked through the rotating doors, he was greeted by Brenda, a horrid woman with a snaggletooth and unibrow who spoke through her nose and mocked his work, calling him Mr. Latex.
The back of his psyche buzzing, “Mr Latex will read your entrails!” hisses toward her.
His thought was interrupted as his eyes landed on Robin, mesmerizing in strapless long black dress with hair tied high on her head, flashing her glowing skin. Mrs. Robin, he clenched his teeth as he reminded himself of her new status.Just as he was imagining how different his life could have been if he had married her, Robin felt his eyes trailing the length of her body and gave him a cold, hard look before turning her back to him.
James would not let her go so easily, no matter her status; he rushed behind her, pressed himself against her back as one hand gripped her wrist and the other pressed firmly on her stomach. The pain of a stiletto heel shot through him, and as he released his grip on her, Robin spun round,and James doubled over in agony as her knee made contact with his balls.

I am going to nominate

*

*

Hugh as he will be brilliant at this.

Episode 245: Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 1: Dad — March 24, 2015

Episode 245: Five Photos, Five Stories – Day 1: Dad

I recently received the following invitation from Author SB Mazing

I’m about to invite you to join in a challenge I recently accepted. Five Photos, Five Stories. I thought this challenge could present you with the opportunity of viewing blogging from a different angle, to do something different, anything that suits you for that matter. It’s entirely up to you. …

I thought, I might try this one, despite the fact that I am not the world’s best photographer! There are some rules that go with it which are as follows:

The Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge rules require you to post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo.  It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or simply a short paragraph – it’s entirely up to you.

So here is my attempt..

This picture is one of my favourites of my dad as he was so relaxed and happy. He and my step-mother had travelled up for my wedding to Mr Grump in 2009.  That was the last time he would visit us here as he died three years later, in April 2012.

I decided to write a poem for him,

Dad you were a gentleman

Always kind and fair

But when you got into a strop

You’d madly clutch your hair!

Dad you were a scholar

So clever and so wise

You also had an appetite

For curries, roasts and pies!

Dad you were a swimmer

In for your daily dip

But when dancing the Macarena

I thought you’d break a hip!

Dad, you were my hero

And although no longer here

I have my treasured memories

Of which I hold so dear.

I would like to invite Donna from Homemade naturally to join in.

Then each day, nominate another blogger to carry on this challenge.

Accepting the challenge is entirely up to the person nominated, it is not a command. And actually everyone can join in. So feel free to if you like the idea.

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