Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 444: Tuesday Tidbit Faking it (18+) — August 4, 2015

Episode 444: Tuesday Tidbit Faking it (18+)

The kids at last are sleeping

Your  partner’s in the mood

He’s nibbling on your earlobe

But you’d rather have some food!

You try to get your groove on

As his kisses get more urgent

He’s yearning for some loving

You’re thinking about detergent!

Your top has been unbuttoned

And he’s just unclasped your bra

You moan when you remember

That you forgot to tax the car!

The rest of the clothes are discarded

You need to show some willing

He lays you on the carpet

Now your bloody back is killing!

The rhythm is getting faster

You moan and sigh for good measure

The carpet burns have put a stop

To you having any pleasure

You feel the rush, and him relax

All happy now and sated

Whilst you are feeling quite put out

-Sex is so over-rated!

Episode 443: Taking Advantage — August 3, 2015

Episode 443: Taking Advantage

I always try my hardest

When I am at work

I’ll do anything they ask me

And never skive or shirk

Yet everyday they ask for more

Way above my grade

At first I was so flattered

At the impression I had made

Little did I realise

They got so much more for less

All the responsibility

Not to mention extra stress

I cannot be promoted

Unless I start anew

But for now it’s ok

Till the newbies learn what to do

But God forbid I mention

That I still don’t feel that well

Always feeling tired

and generally like hell!

‘Perhaps we should get you checked out

To see if you are still fit’

Yet when there was no-one else

They didn’t mind a bit!

Episode 431: Addicted to Blogging! — July 26, 2015

Episode 431: Addicted to Blogging!

This weekend I’ve been very busy

Helping out on a great magazine

Writing a few wacky stories

Plus a few odds & sods in-between

So my blog has been rather neglected

I have not posted as much as I might

I am still catching up with some reading

Before I even decide what to write!

I love the great interaction

That I get from my blog family

Seeing what everyone’s up to

And sharing what is happening with me.

So it back to some blogging this evening

As I can’t bear to miss just one day

I know it sounds like addiction

But it’s better than cigs, anyway!

Episode 429: Sisters — July 25, 2015

Episode 429: Sisters

A sister is a good friend

Who knows you very well

A sister is a confidante

To whom secrets you can tell

A sister is a shoulder

To cry on when you’re sad

A sister is a comfort

For when things turn out bad

A sister is a treasure

More precious than pure gold

A sister can be relied on

Whatever the future holds

A sister will support you

In all you say and do

A sister is a Godsend

And lucky me to have two!

Although I have published this poem on my blog before, I decided it needed another airing!

Episode 398: Tuesday Tidbit: Sex On The Beach! 18+ — June 30, 2015

Episode 398: Tuesday Tidbit: Sex On The Beach! 18+

A scorching hot summer, a handsome young couple

Their bodies glisten with sweat

Hair slicked back, damp from the sea

This beach is where they first met

She lies on her towel enjoying the sunshine

And gives a contented little sigh

He pours out some sunscreen into his hand

And starts smoothing it into her thigh

His circular movements get higher and higher

She is starting to react to his touch

As his hands start to wander

All over her body

She knows that she wants him so much.

He can stand it no longer, his passion is rising

He leads her by the hand to the sea

The cool of the water, does not cool their ardour

And they kiss more and more passionately

They have no one around them, and need to get closer

Each other’s bodies they crave

He removes her bikini and plunges inside her

As they rock to and fro with the waves.

Moaning with pleasure, they climb higher and higher

Until the apex they reach

Then sated and happy they return to the bar

And order A ‘Sex on the Beach!’

Episode 320: A Shock Result! — May 8, 2015

Episode 320: A Shock Result!

Now the Election is over

I am feeling rather bereft

Apart from the Prime Minister

All of the other main leaders have left!

What a shock the results were

Poor old Lib Dems lost out

UKIP didn’t do a lot better

And Labour suffered a rout!

So Cleggy got his comeuppance

For going back on his word

UKIP’s voters were useless

And Labour’s chances absurd!

The Scots all put their foot down

And voted for their own SNP

Nicola Sturgeon is happy

To win every seat there, bar three

So British Politics are changing

At the moment only one thing is clear

That Dave Cameron is running the country

For the others it’s all ended in tears!

Episode 290: Ode To Blogging From A-Zed — April 16, 2015

Episode 290: Ode To Blogging From A-Zed

I always love a challenge

A chance to use my head

I joined two friends and signed up

For the Blogging from A to Zed!

Now it seems to make things harder

You ought to have a theme

So as, I love words so much

I thought that could be my scheme!

I’m more than halfway through now

And it’s really been a blast

I’ve dug around and found some words

That I’ve rescued from the past.

So although I might be ‘flummoxed’

About the right one to choose

I have got ‘ample ‘amounts of ‘corny’ words

Even ‘nincompoops’ can use!

Episode 287: Whittling Down The Waist! — April 14, 2015

Episode 287: Whittling Down The Waist!

I’ve always had a problem

With my lack of waist

I’ve always loved my food so much

But overindulged my tastes!

So I have had to take some action

To tone the muffin top

After talking with a friend

I set off to the shop

To get myself a hula hoop

To whittle the inches away

The regimen is easy

Just ten minutes every day

Three weeks in already

And half an inch less flab

It looks as though I’m lighter too

5 pounds lost. That’s fab!

Episode 283: Sisters — April 12, 2015

Episode 283: Sisters

A sister is a good friend

Who knows you very well

A sister is a confidante

To whom secrets you can tell

A sister is a shoulder

To cry on when you’re sad

A sister is a comfort

For when things turn out bad

A sister is a treasure

More precious than pure gold

A sister can be relied on

Whatever the future holds

A sister will support you

In all you say and so

A sister is a Godsend

And lucky me to have two!

Episode 270! Hoppy Easter! — April 4, 2015

Episode 270! Hoppy Easter!

Oooh I can’t wait for tomorrow

Time for lots of lovely treats

The bunny has been delivering

Yummy Easter eggs and sweets

It’s great to be with family

You rarely get to see

Playing games and having fun

It means the world to me

Pretty Easter decor

Brightly coloured bunting

Hiding eggs and leaving clues

For the kids to go treasure hunting!

Have a Happy Easter

Whatever you intend to do

I hope the Easter bunny

Leaves lots of treats for you!

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