Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Blogger’s Bash Blog Post Competition A Royal Party. — March 19, 2018

Blogger’s Bash Blog Post Competition A Royal Party.

I have just about managed to get my entry in on time for the Blogger’s Bash Competition with the theme of ‘Royalty.’  I hope you enjoy this bit of silliness.

Charlie was hosting a party for the wedding of Harry, his son

“To hell with stuffy formalities, I want this party to be fun!

A rollicking frolicking, knees up, chance to let down one’s heir for a while

I will show that young Meghan Markle, we royals can party with style.

Now, what about the guest list? I’d better invite Mum and Dad

Anne and Eddie and of course Randy Andy, he still thinks that he’s Jack the Lad

And who can forget Camilla?  My beloved trouble and strife

She loves a bop and a booze up, and a sneaky cig does my wife.

Kate and Wills will be desperate, to leave the kiddies at home

Wills can show off his ‘Dad Dancing’, so unbecoming for an heir to the throne!

Mike and Zara are bound to be up or it, Eugenie and Beatrice of course too,

Best I don’t invite Fergie, I can’t have her spoiling our do!

My Harry loves a good shindig, being a bit of a lad in his youth

Splashed all over the tabloids, drunken and acting uncouth.

Mind you, Dad is really no better, with the off-colour jokes that he makes

He dishes out plenty of insults, along with his many handshakes!

I need to choose some good music to make the party go with a swing

I hope they haven’t invited those Spice Girls, there’s only one of them that can sing!

There seems so much more to that Meghan, although she appears very nice

She is no shrinking violet, and has been around the block once or twice!

As long as they are both happy, which they seem to affirm

Then as Harry’s proud father, I will welcome her into ‘The Firm! ‘

Photography 101: Connect & Tags — March 14, 2016

Photography 101: Connect & Tags


Today’s Photography 101 challenge is all about the word ‘connect’ and what it means to me. As you can see from my photo, this was taken at a family wedding.

This speaks of connections on so many levels. Not just the couple that are getting married and starting a new life together, but of the friends and the family that are invited to share the day with them too.

The gathering together of all those people with one common connection, celebrating a marriage,  despite many of them not knowing each other. Eating together, dancing together, and meeting new and interesting people that you may not have otherwise encountered, is certainly making connections!

Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt # 63.’Stag’ and ‘Noise’ — September 21, 2015

Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt # 63.’Stag’ and ‘Noise’

Ron was being pretty harsh with the prompt words this week for his weekly Haiku Challenge,  however, I am ‘having a Judy moment’ and have found the perfect use (and image for them! So here is my take on ‘stag’ and ‘noise’

Typical stag Night

Strippers, booze women and noise…

Bride is furious!

Stag Do

Episode 466. Wedding Day Reflections — August 20, 2015

Episode 466. Wedding Day Reflections

Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to Mr Grump. Although we have only been married a short while, we go way back and actually met for the first time in 1984. This is our story here

We were originally going to wait for a while before getting married, but after a few months, neither of us wanted to wait, bearing in mind how long it took us to get back together again.

As both of us has been married before, we decided that we would go for just a quiet ceremony with mostly family and a few friends. The local Registry Office was closed and in the process of being relocated, so in the interim they were using the Sports and Leisure Centre.

This was ok but had a hell of a walk leading up to it, almost like a helter-skelter, and that put me off, as both Mum and Dad would have a job with it, not to mention me with my high heels!

There was an alternative which was much cheaper, and in the centre of town, which I thought was ideal,  so we booked it up and set about organising everything else. The evening was taken care of as we were going to a small pub which had karaoke (Miss Hap loves it). The landlord was laying on a BBQ, and my brother-in-law (Mr Musician) was going to sing for us later on.

The cake was being made by one of my sisters (Mrs Masterchef), and we had got everything else off of the internet (yes, even the dress). My sister-in-law just happens to be a hairdresser so that was sorted as well.

Just before the big day, the dress arrived (luckily). It was a little more elaborate than I had envisaged and had a huge skirt, plus small train at the back. This would have been fine had we opted for the Leisure Centre to marry in, but our ‘venue’ was not quite what I had expected.

When we went to see it, there were beautiful gardens out the back, but the ‘wedding room’ was tiny, and only accommodated about 6 or 8 guests! Bearing in mind, Best Man, witnesses, Miss Hap and us, that was going to be it! Everything else was in place invitations sent out, the lot.

After crying and getting myself in a state, we decided who was going to come with us. Everyone else waited at our house (we were only going to be about an hour all told). My sister-in-law gave me and Miss Hap a lift to the venue, and we met up with the others there!

Our best friend Karen, who was in the army with us was a witness, as was my older sister, and my Dad too.

Dad signing the register_wm
View from outside the window of Dad signing the register

My step-mum and a very dear friend peeping through the window at proceedings!

Despite everything, it was a very emotional service and we both cried! It was out in the garden for photos, and back to ours (which had suddenly been decorated with banners and balloons),  for a buffet until we headed off to the pub a few hours later!

It might not have been the fanciest of weddings, but it was a brilliant day that we all enjoyed. Sitting on patio chairs in our small back garden, with a load of family dressed in all our finery was so relaxed; we all had a great laugh. Especially when we found out that our lovely Best Man, forgot his cufflinks and improvised with some paper clips!

Then later when some friends came to the pub. The kids on the karaoke, the bangers and burgers on the barbie, and then Mr Musician serenading us with ‘Hotel California’ was brilliant; tucking into a delicious chocolate wedding cake made by Mrs Masterchef completed a fantastic day.

Episode 383: Sod’s Law! — June 20, 2015

Episode 383: Sod’s Law!

I am really fed up this evening. I was supposed to be going to my friend Carl’s wedding reception this evening which I have really been looking forward to. I met him when I was at Uni and he was kind enough to give me a lift in sometimes (knowing my aversion to driving). He is such a lovely man, always kind and helpful, and I was really looking forward to meeting his new husband too, but I think I have some kind of bug.

I threw up Sunday night but seemed to be ok Monday so I brushed it off. However yesterday morning I was so tired I had real difficulty getting up for work. Even when I got there I felt exhausted (not good when you have a physical job). I got home and flopped out on the settee for a bit.

Luckily Miss Hap was spending the weekend with my older sister, and my mum, by the seaside so she would be having a nice time. I ended up going to bed at 9pm as I struggled to stay awake and gave up in the end (So much for a romantic, child free weekend, nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

I went to sleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. Well, until about 1:30 pm when I lurched awake feeling awful. I ended up throwing up again, felt all hot and clammy but  went back to bed and managed to sleep again.

Today though, I forced myself into thinking I was better and would be going tonight. I even sent a message saying I would see them later (some of my other friends from Uni are going as well and I was excited to be meeting up with them too). I wasn’t better though. I have had a burning at the back of my throat and felt rough all day.

I was determined to go to town just to get out the house for a bit. We called in on my younger sister on the way, who told me I looked awful Great. I didn’t think I looked that bad! We didn’t stay that long in town anyway, I felt all hot and clammy and a high temperature confirmed something is going on.  So I have now had to cancel going tonight as I do not want to give the wedding guests an unwanted present! Bloody typical!

Episode 285: Wacky Wedding Cakes! — April 13, 2015

Episode 285: Wacky Wedding Cakes!

Planning a wedding can be quite a traumatic affair (trust me on this one, I have had a lot of experience here)! There is the dress, the flowers, the venue …..well, I could go on and on here, but you get the picture.

One of the centrepiece of a lovely wedding has got to be the cake. Some people have huge, fancy cakes with numerous tiers, others have lots of chocolate cup cakes. There are so many wonderful cakes that capture the spirit of the occasion.

It is also quite a pivotal moment when the bride and groom get to cut the cake. Everyone gathers around to watch the symbolic act, and it is always an opportunity to take a nice photo…..unless of course, they have chosen a creepy clown for their choice of confectionery!

This reminds me of the character from ‘It’ the Stephen King book that scared me to death (I am a terrible wimp)! I am not sure that I want to be tucking into someone’s brain, or poking their eye out with my fork. It seems a bit savage for my liking!

I know that for many couples the cake means something to them both, and I am all for the sentiment ‘Till death do us part,’ but some people take it a little to literally!

I have found a few more bizarre wedding cake pics here that makes me wonder what the hell the future is going to hold for these ‘happy








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Episode 163: Wedded Bliss…or Blissful Ignorance! — February 14, 2015

Episode 163: Wedded Bliss…or Blissful Ignorance!

Some people are very romantic, professing their love every day, popping the question after a whirlwind  courtship.  They then have a beautiful wedding topped off with a honeymoon to a gorgeous location. They settle into a lovely routine together, and then decide to start a family….Ah wedded bliss.

One lady in the south-west of England, had such a wonderful marriage, She and her scuba diving instructor husband lived a comfortable and happy life together, despite the fact that when they first met he was married. Fast forward six years, and he is newly divorced and ready to marry again.

Thing go well for the first few years, but times being hard the husband worked away quite a bit to keep the money coming in, as by now the wife had given up work to look after the daughter they had together. Sometimes he only came home once or twice a month, but they were still happy and in love.

You can imagine the wife’s surprise when out of the blue she got a call from her mother-in-law expressing her sorrow that she and her son had now got divorced. Not only that but there were pictures on Facebook (don’t you just love it) of him marrying his new love!

To add insult to injury, not only was he a bigamist, but he got married in the same place where he had taken his wife on their honeymoon AND he used the same Best Man (who was unaware that the groom was not divorced). Apparently he had been leading a double life for three years without either of the ‘wives’ realising!

He ended up getting 18 weeks, yes only 18 weeks  in jail for bigamy, and his excuse was that he ‘put the cart before the horse’ Priceless!

His new wife is standing by him and he has finally started divorce proceedings against his previous one.

I bet he’s had enough of wedding cake for now!

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle….. — November 15, 2014

Episode 46: Turning Full Circle…..

Me and Mr Grump go back quite a long way (30 years to be precise)! We first met at a small Army Barracks where we were both stationed. I had literally just got out of  basic training and was still quite a shy and quiet 18-year-old (One of the reasons I joined the Army was to ‘come out of my shell’ a bit). He was a cocky and confident 21-year-old Army chef (definitely a good start there, he loves to cook, I love to eat)!

Anyway, I didn’t pay that much attention to him at first, preferring to concentrate on the food he was dishing up. I had not been on the camp that long, and it was still a bit of an ordeal for me going into the cookhouse as it was always packed, and I didn’t know many people yet; however, if I wanted to eat I had to go in…simple!

I had made a  couple of friends in basic training who had gone before me to this posting, and I ended up sharing a room with one of them,who went on to become my best friend (we are still in contact today) Karen, (this friend) and I decided to take advantage of the private strip of beach that we had on this camp, and headed off for a paddle in the sea.

We ended up going for a proper swim as it was a gorgeous, hot day, we had a little time to kill, and wanted to make the most of it. what I didn’t mention is the fact that, as it was an ‘off the cuff swim’, we hadn’t dressed for the occasion, and were just wearing shorts and t-shirts. Mr Grump, (actually back then he was spiky haired, and very lean and fit) and a friend of his had the same idea and were also having fun in the sea, swimming and splashing about.

They got out a little before Karen and I, and were just hanging around on the beach. As I came wading of the water, Mr Grump came over to me with his jacket which he thoughtfully wrapped around me. I thanked him for his kindness and we eventually went on to have a rather tempestuous two-year relationship.(oh, and he  later told me that he knew exactly what was in store for him, as my yellow shorts, white top, plus underwear,  had gone completely see-through in the water AND he had a bloody good look before bringing me the jacket to spare my blushes)!

We did get engaged during the two years, but were much too young and immature really, plus Mr Grump was being posted elsewhere and was a bit of a Jack-the lad in those days! We ended u going our separate ways, and although Karen and I both left the army after 3 years, Mr Grump continued to serve.

I came back to my home town, and life moved on…I did occasionally think about Mr Grump, and at one time, went to visit his mother in Wales for a few days. I didn’t see him at that time, as he was off serving abroad somewhere. Anyway, I ended up getting married, and much later  I had my beautiful daughter . He of course also went on to have children and marry.

As I mentioned, I was still in touch with Karen, and one day she told me that she had seen Mr Grump on Forces Reunited, and that he would be pleased to hear from me. I was really shocked  after all the time that had passed, but was so curious. After all, I had thought about him many times over the years, so anyway I bit the bullet and contacted him.

We sent messages back and forth for a while but then finally decided to meet up. I had been single for a few years as Miss Hap’s father and I had split when she was a very young baby. I had arranged to meet him in a local Supermarket car park, but he got lost as had to drive for a couple of hours to get there, Finally he made it there and seeing him was like the years just melted away (well aside from the fact that he had put on a few stone and his  hair was bald on top and long at the back which he put into a pigtail)! That was it for both of us…. after a few weeks, he moved in, and six months later we married! (By this time I had got at him with the hair clippers, he lost a load of weight, I put a load on), but we were happy

Karen and her family of course came to the wedding, and she was one of our witnesses;  Miss Hap was our gorgeous bridesmaid and  we had a small, intimate ceremony (so intimate I didn’t realise the room would only hold 4 people (and the huge dress that I had chosen), so a few of our family stood outside the window looking in at us exchanging vows!! We did have a reception at the local pub though for everybody and it was a wonderful day.

It just goes to show, how unpredictable life is! I never would have guessed, that after being apart for 25 years, Mr Grump and I would not only meet up again, but I would eventually become his wife, even if it took me 30 years to do it!!

Episode 7: You can choose your friends…… — September 27, 2014

Episode 7: You can choose your friends……

Today is a very special day for one of my family..it is her wedding day.It is going to be a ‘celebration of joy’ which will be shared with 100 people who bring her the most joy. How exciting it will be…only I won’t be there to enjoy it..in fact none of the rest of my family will be there…we weren’t invited!!

The bride-to be is my niece(brother’s daughter) who announced on Facebook some time ago that she had become engaged. Now my family love a good wedding and we were all looking forward to getting new outfits for the occasion, plus keen to meet the prospective new groom who had captured her heart. As she is in her 30’s, my niece had taken her time and chosen carefully the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, so he must be pretty special….

My brother and his wife had themselves been married for twenty-odd years, which is a record in my family! Mum and Dad divorced when I was very young (both re-married), and out of the rest of us, one has never been married but has two children by two different fathers,one has been married twice, two married three times, and one separated from his wife and in a long-term relationship with his current girlfriend; (as you may have gathered, there are a lot of us).

Added to her long list of aunties and uncles on both sides (her mother’s family is also large, but they have only had the one spouse each),there are a huge number of cousins as well, so I can imagine that it would have been difficult for her sorting out the numbers for the wedding. However, the rest of us have managed to plan our numerous weddings without too much trouble, incorporating all of the family and friends.

Anyway… after the engagement, things went quiet for quite a while, until good old Facebook told us that a riotous Hen Weekend had taken place during the summer… All of the ‘Northern’ lot were there (Bride’s mum’s family), and there were some lovely pictures of them having a wonderful time, plus lots of comments from the bride, enthusing about how fantastic her family were, and lots of little inside jokes about the weekend….

Needless to say the ‘Southern’ lot (my family), we a little upset that we hadn’t been included in this weekend. However it did look pretty expensive and perhaps the bride thought we wouldn’t have been able to afford it. After all, most of us have ‘menial’ jobs including cleaners, drivers, health care workers, teaching assistants etc, whereas the bride is a buyer for a top fashion chain, her other relatives are high-flying sales people,owners of exclusive boutiques, and other glamourous well-paid jobs.

Never mind, there was still the wedding itself to look forward to…however the invitations never came… So today, as my bother is giving the beautiful Bride away, in her wedding gown made by her mother, plus six bridesmaids..I wonder what he is thinking as he makes his speech.. Is he glad that our 82-year-old mother is not there voicing her opinions? (she has reached the age now where she feels she can say what she bloody well likes, regardless of whether or not it might offend someone); Will he miss the sight of his 3 sisters dancing around their handbags? cackling like witches as one of them(usually me) trips over something and lands in an undignified heap on the floor), would my eldest brother show him up with his many tattoos and his unique idea of what outfit is suitable for a wedding? would he not like to jostle with my other brother, about who is the more successful out of the two of them? what about his nieces and nephews, would he not love to see  them enjoying themselves, all catching up with each other’s news?

No doubt I will see the stunning wedding pics today on Facebook as they slowly emerge, and I will be happy for the bride and groom,…however, although I will never really know why us Southerners got excluded from the wedding ,(the above perhaps is a bit of a clue), however dysfunctional we all are, we are still decent people!

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