Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Getting Back in the Saddle — March 13, 2018

Getting Back in the Saddle

Having taken a break from blogging for nearly a month, I am finding it a little tricky getting back into the saddle which I wasn’t expecting. I used to post almost daily about all kinds of subjects, yet now I find myself struggling for something to say.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure I could bore you all to tears talking about my nursing experiences, but I have already mentioned nursing lately, and I am wary of over-egging that pudding, instead, I will drip feed you slowly over a period of time. (Why does everything with me always come down to food analogies)?!

Speaking of which, I had my diabetic review (on my birthday as it turned out), and things seem to be a bit haywire there. My weight has gone up even more, as have my blood sugars (according to the Hba1c blood test), and my liver function is deranged (hopefully I will find out why when I speak to GP tomorrow although it could be to do with my weight). This is all rather ironic as I am trying to get myself into shape before (hopefully) qualifying as a nurse, (bugger, I said I wouldn’t mention nursing)!

I am going to really have to put a lot of extra effort into living a healthier lifestyle, and no doubt I will post about my trials and tribulations on the way. Well, that will certainly give me plenty to write about!

#Sillysaturday Sandy’s Workout — January 27, 2018

#Sillysaturday Sandy’s Workout

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week. Sandy decides he needs to lose a bit of weight and workout.

Sandy had a great time with Shelma

When they went out on their date

But he wanted to shape up

And decided he needed to lose weight

He had become rather chunky

And that made him feel rather glum

His goal was to be streamlined and sexy

It was time to tone up that tum!

Shelma had a great figure

wherever they went she had turned heads

Sandy was scared she’d lose interest

And that thought had filled him with dread

He worked out at the gym almost daily

although at first it seemed tough

He knew it was definitely worth it

When Shelma told him he looked buff!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
Self(ie) Confidence — November 6, 2017

Self(ie) Confidence

Selfies seem to be so popular at the moment, especially with the young. Now I am not very photogenic and am not that keen on having my picture taken at the best of times. My daughter, however, is just the opposite!

She loves to take selfies whenever we go anywhere and very often tries to get me in on it as well. When one of my best friends got married last year Miss Hap took a load of selfies at our table.  I ended up being in several of the shots, either stuffing myself with food and looking like Bessie Bunter, or having some sort of gormless expression on my face. (I know that might be normal for me but I don’t want her bandying the photos around her friends for their mocking pleasure)!

Now I don’t mind it when she uses one of the funny apps on the phone to scrunch up the face and twist it around a bit so that you end up resembling some evil pixie type of creature as that is really quite amusing. What I do hate though is the ‘Fatify’ app or whatever it is called!

You might have noticed that I am not the slimmest of people, but by the time this app has finished with me, I have gained yet another three chins! Likewise the ‘Oldify’ app, that is hideous as well. Having said that they are all in good fun and thank goodness she sees them as that way too.

In my day, ‘the camera never lied’ but of course now that is far from the truth. We have all heard of these ‘celebrities’ that have photoshopped their already slender bodies in order to shave off a few inches here and there, plus erase some ‘unsightly’ wrinkle, or mark. The end result is a far from realistic image of a supposedly ‘perfect’ person.

Luckily for me, Mr Grump likes a woman with ‘a bit of meat on her bones.’ I am aware that I may have a little too much to be healthy and for that reason need to lose some weight. I do not make a big thing out of it though as I don’t want to make weight an issue which might start influencing my daughter.

My daughter is extremely active and spends loads of time running around, The fact that she is only 14 years old as well, I do not think she should be overly worried at this point about her weight, and thank goodness she doesn’t seem to be. I do try to encourage her to be a little healthier though.

I love this ‘selfie’ of myself and my daughter, it is my favourite picture, despite being a couple of years old now. She has done something to it with an app, but it only alters the colour, it doesn’t add or take anything away. I hope she continues to be body confident, enjoys her youth and natural beauty.

Selfie of me and my daughter

My Goals for 2016! — December 29, 2015

My Goals for 2016!

Now that I’ve given up smoking

And have long since ditched all the booze

I see no need for resolutions

They only give me the blues

I hardly have any vices

I gave them all up long ago

Except of course over-eating

I never know when to say no!

I always eat lots for comfort

When I am under duress

Then get mad when I find out

That I am bursting out of my dress!

 I need to find some new ideas

To kick off twenty-sixteen

So I can stop all this gorging

And go from stocky to lean

I have to find motivation

To make it all a success

Then, this time next year

I will weigh a couple of stone less!

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Attraction — December 27, 2015

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Attraction

For the last Household Haiku Challenge of the year, TJ has given us ‘attraction’ for our prompt word.

I have a few fridge magnets that I enjoy looking at, and this one is something that Mr Grump spotted, and thought I might like. I wonder why?!

Here is my take on it.

 

Food is my first love

A passionate attraction

-holds a lot of weight!

 

TJs Household Haiku Challenge – Scales — September 20, 2015
Episode 451: Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt #57 ‘Bust’ & ‘Must’ — August 10, 2015

Episode 451: Ronovan’s Writes. Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt #57 ‘Bust’ & ‘Must’

Thanks to the wonderful Ronovan for keeping his weekly Haiku poetry prompt challenge going despite having his own challenges to deal with, not least the technical ones that you can help with here

So. knowing the way my mind works, you can guess where I have gone with this one!

Hmmm, diet or bust?

I know I must lose some weight

I will miss my boobs!

boobs!

Episode 287: Whittling Down The Waist! — April 14, 2015

Episode 287: Whittling Down The Waist!

I’ve always had a problem

With my lack of waist

I’ve always loved my food so much

But overindulged my tastes!

So I have had to take some action

To tone the muffin top

After talking with a friend

I set off to the shop

To get myself a hula hoop

To whittle the inches away

The regimen is easy

Just ten minutes every day

Three weeks in already

And half an inch less flab

It looks as though I’m lighter too

5 pounds lost. That’s fab!

Episode 238: Self(ie) Confidence! — March 21, 2015

Episode 238: Self(ie) Confidence!

Selfies seem to be so popular at the moment, especially with the young, Now I am not very photogenic so am not that keen on having my picture taken at the best of times. My daughter, however is just the opposite!

She loves to take selfies whenever we go anywhere, and very often tries to get me in on it as well. When one of my best friends got married last year Miss Hap took a load of selfies at our table.  I ended up being in several of the shots, either stuffing myself with food and looking like Bessie Bunter, or having some sort of gormless expression on my face. (I know that might be normal for me but I don’t want her bandying the photos around her friends for their mocking pleasure)!

Now I don’t mind it when she uses one of the funny apps on the phone to scrunch up the face and twist it around a bit so that you end up resembling some evil pixie type of creature. as that is really quite amusing. What I do hate though is the ‘Fatify’ app or whatever it is called!

You might have noticed that I am not the slimmest of people, but by the time this app has finished with me, I have gained yet another three chins! Likewise the ‘oldify’ app. That is hideous as well. Having said that they are all in good fun and thank goodness she sees them as that way too.

In my day, ‘the camera never lied’ but of course now that is far from the truth. We have all heard of these ‘celebrities’ that have photoshopped their already slender bodies in order to shave off a few inches here and there, plus erase some ‘unsightly’ wrinkle, or mark. The end result is a far from realistic image of a supposedly ‘perfect’ person.

Luckily for me, Mr Grump likes a woman with ‘a bit of meat on her bones.’ I am aware that I may have a little too much to be healthy and for that reason need to lose some weight. I do not make a big thing out of it though as I don’t want to make weight an issue which might start influencing my daughter.

My daughter is extremely active and spends loads of time running around, The fact that she is only 11 years old as well, I do not think she should be overly worried at this point about her weight, and thank goodness she doesn’t seem to be. I do try to encourage her to be a little healthier though.

I love this ‘selfie’ of myself and my daughter, it is my favourite picture. She has done something to it with an app, but it only alters the colour, it doesn’t add or take anything away. I hope she continues to be body confident, and enjoys her youth!

Episode 122: Fools Rush In…. — January 25, 2015

Episode 122: Fools Rush In….

It has been nearly 4 months now since I have managed to stop smoking, which is all well and good, but I am STILL waiting for some of the benefits to kick in!

I am not the most patient of people, I have to say, and I do not like having to wait long for things. If I am on a diet (which I am , constantly) then I expect to have lost a load of weight by the end of the first week! I will jump on the scales every morning and if I have not lost at least 2lb, then I am not happy! After all, if I am to be constantly hungry and as a consequence, grumpy, then I expect the scales to reflect the sacrifices I have made.

Last Christmas I treated myself to a very expensive mascara. Now, I don’t even wear makeup every day, but when I do, I like to look nice. This mascara was supposed to make me look like I was wearing false lashes. It didn’t. It just looked like I had got heavy handed with the wand and put too much on, giving that thick spider’s legs effect!

I have tried foundations that promise to knock years off your age and give you  a smooth flawless skin or some such outlandish claim (to be fair though, they need a decent face to work with). I couldn’t wait to try it, but it just sank into the wrinkles and crevices in my skin, making me look ridiculous.

I am pretty rubbish at Christmas and birthdays as well. If I see a present wrapped up that is for me, I will poke it, prod it, and shake it, trying to guess what it is as I can’t wait to find out! I have actually improved over the years, as I now no longer undo a bit of the tape carefully, and look inside the package, and then have to feign surprise on the actual day!

That is the trouble with me. I go about things in a gung-ho fashion, and expect to see instant results! I had patches to help me with the nicotine withdrawal and I did manage to cut those out completely within three weeks. However because I was desperate to cut those patches out so quickly, and rid myself of the nicotine sooner. I nearly sabotaged my success by rushing things.

So although I am still waiting for my sense of smell and taste to return, I will try to be patient, or risk setting myself up for disappointment!

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