Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Broken English and Bad Language — November 21, 2017

Broken English and Bad Language

Now I am quite an old-fashioned, traditional woman as some of you might have noticed. I am also partial to using some out-dated words or phrases as we have such a rich and beautiful language. It is a shame to let them disappear into the mists of time, shrivelling up with lack of use.

I have noticed something disturbing over the years, however, that has become more prevalent as technology advances and the world becomes smaller. The fact that I have a young daughter who likes to keep up with the latest fads and trends also brings this home to me, and I don’t like it one bit.

I may not be the best at writing, I understand that my grammar leaves a lot to be desired at times, and I am careless and shoddy with my proofreading (I know, being the Typo Queen is not something to be proud of). However, I do try to make sure that I at least make some use of the language that I was brought up with. I become very annoyed that my mother-tongue is being messed about with, chopped up and put in a blender, then coming out with chunks in it that I am unfamiliar with!

Now, I do not wish to offend anyone at all, this is my opinion, and being a bit of an old ‘stick in the mud’ I like the language just the way it is, thank you very much.

To illustrate my point, here are a few examples

Text Talk WTF??? (See, I can do some of the trendy abbreviations). You will probably not be surprised to know that when I text someone, I write the whole lot out in full, complete with punctuation. I know, I am extremely uncool, (but I do love a smiley face). I hate all of this cul8tr stuff. I mean, what the hell is that? The first time I saw it I tried to read it as a word, thinking it was ‘culture’ and that someone has pressed the 8 by mistake and did it in a hurry, (Something I am always guilty of).

All these abbreviations are fine,(if you can understand them), but I do worry that our kids are losing the art of writing. I remember when I was at school we had to learn how to write all the different types of letters, like formal, business and personal using the appropriate greeting, and signing off correctly, which I am not sure they still teach despite the fact that letters do still need to be written on occasion.

The other thing I get annoyed about is nicking words from other languages when we have perfectly good ones of our own! Miss Hap does it all the time (she knows it annoys me).

“Mum, have you got any Bobby pins?”

“What? Oh, you mean hair grips”!

Grrrrr.

 

You get the idea. Or this habit of calling each other ‘bruv!’ I am not your bloody bruv, nor am I your ‘mate!’

I know I am getting to be a moany Old Codger but I can’t help it. Is it just me or do you despair at the way language is evolving?

Episode 488: Things I like — September 8, 2015

Episode 488: Things I like

For today’s Writing 101 prompt, we are to write a list. I decided that  mine would be about things that I like:

Having long and beautifully shaped nails. Unfortunately, as you can see, mine are neither! This is about as long as I dare let them get for work. (It was weird looking at my hands as they are so bloody ugly, which I had never realised before)!

Nails

The beautiful scent of roses and sweet peas. These can just lift the spirits of anyone who is feeling down. Not only with their beautiful smell, but they look so pretty too.

Roses

1950s style fashions: I love the full-skirted dresses that were popular in this era, the makeup, the shoes, and the hair (that’s basically everything then)! If only I had an hour-glass figure to suit the style then all would be well in my little world!

50s dress

A witty and dry put-down or come back I can never think of a reply quick enough when anyone says something cutting to me, so I admire those that are a master of clever quips!

Nasty Look

A clean & tidy bay full of patients. I love it when all of my patients are washed and dressed, with their hair brushed. Looking and feeling comfortable and relaxed.(Please note I used an old picture of a hospital ward in the 1970s as it looked better in those days)!!!

http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/cabinetpapers/images/cabinetpapers/nhs-politics.jpg
http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Being told I look young for my age. It used to be a real pain when I was younger being constantly asked for ID, but now it is a bonus being taken for a few years younger (As I was in this pic)!

A Younger me
Playing games with family, we are all so competitive, and it can get a bit heated. the banter is particularly funny between Mr Grump and my brother-in-law (Mr Musician)!

Daybreak in the summer when it is around 4am The beautiful sunrise is a sight to behold.

http://www.robertcanis.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sunrise_oare_kent-001.jpg
http://www.robertcanis.com

Having a good cry over a film/song/book! I am a big softie and cry at anything sad (shhh, so does Mr Grump)!

http://www.tourismnewwestminster.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Up-2009.jpg
http://www.tourismnewwestminster.com

Learning something new. I always like to try to stretch myself, and love trying new things. Actually just yesterday as well as starting the Writing 101 course, I also started one on Open University for 6 weeks all about identifying a dead body! (We get our own case to solve and everything, using the forensics that we are going to be learning).

https://ugc.futurelearn.com/uploads/images/4e/4a/regular_4e4ac3f2-f3f0-424e-ae8f-340453f4c4d1.jpg

https://ugc.futurelearn.com

Episode 487: Tuesday Tidbit. Sex Drives…From a Screech and a Roar to A Cough and a Sputter! (18+) —

Episode 487: Tuesday Tidbit. Sex Drives…From a Screech and a Roar to A Cough and a Sputter! (18+)

For the Tuesday Tidbit this week I thought I would have a light-hearted look at  how the sex drive changes over the years.

The teenage boy is usually  desperate to have sex and tries his hardest to find someone that will sleep with him. When this fails, it is not unknown for them to have a stash  of adult mags, under the bed to ahem, pore over!

The teenage girl, however, does not know how to deal with her raging hormones, She does not want to risk sleeping with someone who isn’t in love with her, only  to be dumped and have them blab and brag about it to all and sundry, causing her huge embarrassment. No, she will stamp and stomp around the house bursting into tears at the slightest provocation.

Both sexes in their twenties are usually raring to go when it comes to sex. They think they invented the Karma Sutra and are at it constantly several times per day, anywhere and everywhere they can. Forget eating and sleeping sex really is ‘the food of love’ at this stage.

During the thirties, things can slow down a little, especially for women, and particularly if they have young children. Tiredness can be a real passion killer, as can little uninvited visitors to the bedroom in the middle of the night. Men are more willing to risk it, but are often rebuffed, or end up with a little person wedged in the middle of the bed, which curtails any further sexy thoughts!

The forties and fifties. Women can very often reach their sexual peak during their 40s and 50s. more so if the kids are grown up! This is where the men very often slacken off due to ill health, or perhaps pressures of work. Things are starting to die down now and those all night sexual marathons are distant memories, replaced by perfunctory monthly couplings. This is where the women can feel rather let down and frustrated. However, for some that are going through ‘the change’, they are more than happy to lay off the sex for a while as they don’t need anything else to make them feel hot and sweaty!

The Sixties and beyond. This is a time when the menopause is usually finished, and some people are more relaxed due to having more time on their hands having retired from work. This is also when things can really go downhill for some men, Help is at hand, though, (or rather somewhere else), and there are those little blue pills that might be able to perk up the love life.

Now I know why they like to be called ‘recycled teenagers!’

Episode 198: You Know You Are Past It When…… — March 5, 2015

Episode 198: You Know You Are Past It When……

  • You forgot what you did yesterday and it wasn’t due to an over-indulgence of alcohol! I like to keep a diary which I have done for years. The problem is when I go to write it up, sometimes I forget what I have done and have to try to work my way backwards to jog my memory!
  • Instead of having a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ you end up nodding off! You know the scene, you have got the house to yourselves, a good couple of hours of undisturbed time alone to do whatever you want…..so you fall asleep on the settee!
  • The only time you wear something ‘trendy’ it is accidental. You are at that stage now where comfort is a must; forget fashion, you want practical! So when you do put on something that is trendy, it is more likely that after 20 years it is finally back in fashion!
  • You still talk about ‘records’,’discos’ and ‘going to the pictures’. Most of the youth of today  do not know what a record is, and have never had the pleasure of listening to their favourite song jumping about all over the place where the record had become scratched or warped! Kids don’t go to discos (unless it is the school disco for some reason), they go to clubs (well at least I think so as I am way old to frequent such places)!  I still talk about ‘going to the pictures to see a film.’ No, that is old hat. It is called a MOVIE. Pah!
  • You type out a text message in full. Now I am pretty ‘with it’ I know an emoticon when I see one, and I can even do a smiley face. However, I do not understand all this shorthand typing the young favour when sending a text. Even worse is the lack of punctuation! Really!
  • You are getting ready to go to bed when the young are just getting ready to go out for the night! You know what it’s like….you got up early….work was busy…you are shattered, and end up in bed no later than 10pm! Now for young people the night is just getting started at 10pm. They have had a few drinks,and in ready to have a good time. When you are getting up early the next morning (another sign of being past-it), they are just falling into their beds!
  • You are always reminiscing about the ‘old days’! Yes things were so much better back then of course. Life was rosy and we never got bored! However, when you constantly harp on about the glory days to your kids, their glazed eyes soon tell you that they are bored, and you are past it!
Episode 154: Shaving Off A Few Years! — February 9, 2015

Episode 154: Shaving Off A Few Years!

One of the things I have moaned about when getting older, is the appearance of facial hair. For some reason, whiskers start sprouting on the chin, and upper lip. Not only that, they are course and thick, and the worst thing of all, they are grey! It is a problem that women are keen to tackle, but coy to talk about….not any more!

Apparently the way to deal with these pesky hairs is not to wax, or pluck (OUCH! Have you ever tried plucking them)?, oh no… just shave them off! That’s right, you did read it correctly, SHAVE them off!

Now, I have to say, I kind of get it when you reach a certain age. I know that some of my old ladies have asked me to give them a shave when their whiskers get a bit long and of course, I oblige  –  but they are in their 80s. They are not shy about slapping on a bit of shaving foam and hacking away with a disposable razor (or trusting me to do it).

There has even been some talk by the owner of a London Beauty Clinic that it can help to reduce the signs of aging! Apparently, the act of shaving itself causes some abrasion to the skin, which stimulates collagen production thereby reducing the appearance of lines and wrinkles! Make of that what you will!

Another benefit of course is that shaving is cheap!No expensive treatments for hair removal, or waxing . Oh no, just a tin of foam and a pack of disposable razors and Bob’s your uncle! If you have a man around, so much the better, you can nick his stuff!

As for that old worry that hair grows back thicker and darker once shaved, that is not true either. The same London beauty clinic (do you think they have got a sideline selling shaving equipment for ladies)? are insistent that cutting the hair off above the root will not make it grow back thicker.

This is a trend that is apparently catching on and sales of shaving products designed for ladies that want to shave their faces is being ‘rushed into the shops’!

Not sure I will be rushing out to buy it. After all, I have already missed the boat and have wrinkles!

Should women shave their faces?

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