I have finally decided to quit smoking! In light of the fact that I have had two really nasty chesty colds in the last two weeks, plus having only this week been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, I decided that drastic action was called for and the fags would have to go!

I am ashamed to say that I started smoking at a very early age, and coming from a large family, nearly all of whom smoked, it has been part of my life for the last 30 odd years. It started with the odd cigarette, but over the years has turned into a full-blown 20 plus per day habit I knew it was not going to be easy, so had already made the appointment for the “Smoke Free” programme and am now ‘patched’ up and ready to go!

Mr Grump came with me and the two of us are going to try to give up together. He very helpfully got rid of the few cigarettes that were left,  so that I would not be tempted by them when I got up this morning. After the awful night I had coughing so hard my ribs hurt, plus the blocked up nose, still with me from this cold, I know that we are doing the right thing.

More importantly, i didn’t want my daughter to become a smoker as well, and as you should lead by example,I know that the best chance I would have of discouraging her from ever becoming a smoker,was to not be one myself!

As I have also been told to lose some weight by my GP, this is a bit of a double whammy for me, as I can’t just stuff myself stupid whenever a craving kicks in! This is going to call for a LOT of self-control (something that has been sadly lacking in me so far, otherwise I never would have put on weight, and would have given up smoking years ago)!!

Still better late than never (God, how many more clichés can I fit into this)?! and, as some other members of my family have also recently given up smoking, I know I can get a bit of support from them, when things get tough.

In order to help with my cravings, as well as the patches, I opted to get a mouth spray that would give an instant ‘hit’ of nicotine when really needed. I thought I would give this a go a couple of hours ago, and My God, did it control the craving! That stuff is bloody lethal! It could easily double as pepper spray should the need arise. One squirt of that in the eyes could incapacitate King Kong for a good few hours. I thought it was going to be a nice blast of peppermint which would calmly stop me from feeling the need for a cigarette! How wrong was that! As soon as it hit under my tongue (and around my mouth and chin as my aim was a bit off), the burning sensation started. Shit, is my throat closing up? have I gone into anaphylaxis? Everything in and around my mouth went numb, for a good few minutes (that was after the coughing and spluttering stopped), before normality set back in. I was so stunned by the sheer strength of this stuff, that ANY cravings I might have had for anything at all were savagely suppressed!

Mr Grump is doing really well so far as he had already been using one of those e-cigarettes for the past few weeks at work, and luckily for him he is nice and slim so he doesn’t have to lose any weight either. However, he loves puddings, and I know he has a stash in the freezer of banoffee pies,and chocolate sponge cakes etc , plus he has hidden a couple of egg custard tarts in the fridge as he is scared that I might persuade him to give those up, and there is only so much deprivation a man can take after all!

Anyway his sugar stash doesn’t bother me at all, I can easily give up puddings…what will be difficult to give up though is chocolate! Ooooh, the velvety texture, the creaminess of it…the pleasure it gives…..not that I am getting carried away or anything, but it is something I do enjoy.  Imagine my rage then when yesterday, Mr Grump casually opened one of the kitchen drawers to reveal nestled in the corner… a CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER KIT KAT!! I wanted that so badly, and here he was tormenting me with it.. I could have whacked him over the bloody head with it!

Time to calm down and start my distraction techniques… all this talk about things I am not allowed is making me want them again, and I’m not brave enough to have another crack at that mouth spray just yet, so I’d best start on another frenzied bout of cleaning things to take my mind off them!