Ahhh, work has finished for a couple of days, and it’s time to relax before the madness and mayhem of Christmas sets in. Miss Hap is off spending the weekend with my older sister so me and Mr Grump can potter about, doing the last-minute jobs; buying and wrapping the last of the presents, and generally getting things done – without a little someone prodding the presents that are under the tree so far, or nosing about trying to find where we have stashed the rest of the goodies!

It always amazes me how much preparation and planning goes into getting everything ‘right’ for the big day!  As Christmas draws closer so the supermarkets are heaving with people buying everything in sight!  I get it that there are certain things (like the turkey for instance) that people want to make sure they get, just in case they run out, but why on earth do they need to buy triple the amount of groceries. Unless there is a special offer on, I see no reason to buy 50 toilet rolls unless you are either expecting a very upset tummy or the Waltons to come round with the ‘squits’!

I come from a large family myself, and have been guilty in the past of going mental on the biscuits for cheese! Who the hell needs two family sized boxes?! I love cheese to go with them as well of course, so will buy a nice selection, plus I have always got one or two varieties in the fridge anyway. Come New Year I am left with stale biscuits and odds and ends of cheese that no-one wants (I always give the Stilton away anyway).

The freezers are stacked full of bread, milk and other essentials for the holiday period, not to mention bits and pieces to use for a buffet. The fridge is always jammed with cream, brandy butter, an assortment of cooked meats, plus God knows how many pickles and condiments, (Oh and not forgetting the cheese of course) There is also the trifle that will be made in time for Christmas day which no-one can manage as they are stuffed full  to overflowing already!

Add to all this the chocolates, biscuits, sweets, nuts and fruit that are set out on fancy festive dishes to tempt any guests you might have popping in, with bottles pop or wine, crates of beer, and whatever other booze takes your fancy to accompany it, there is little chance of anyone starving, but every chance of being sick of the sight of food.

You will be left with the hard toffees in the bottom of the tin kicking around for weeks until they get chucked, flat cherryade, that has dribbled out of the bottle and left a fluorescent stain in its wake, and a few elderly walnuts that have been rejected as being too hard to crack! The pickles and condiments that have hardly been used will get shifted around the fridge until they go out of date in June or something!

Yes we all go a bit mad at Christmas as everyone wants to make sure their family has plenty to eat and drink, but we seem to forget one thing, there is only so much a human can actually physically consume in a few days!