I love to laugh, and I feel that I have a good sense of humour. However, I do have an unfortunate tendency to burst out laughing at inopportune moments….

Being in nursing, there are plenty of opportunities for inappropriate laughing. During handover one morning whilst the night nurse was handing over a male patient, she mentioned that he had a severely ‘swollen scrotum.’ Now I am sure this poor patient did not find his condition at all funny, but I thought it was worth a bit of a snigger, being as childish as I am at times.

I shouldn’t have laughed because guess who had to go to theatres and ask them for a ‘scrotal sling?’ Yep, you guessed it. and off I trotted. Now theatres staff are not the friendliest for some reason. I remember once having to go there as my uniform had got some rather nasty brown marks on it (Someone had just been given prep for a colonoscopy, and didn’t quite make it to the loo…you get the picture). Anyway I asked if I could borrow some scrubs; I got a disdainful look when I showed them my lovely stains, which I took an exception to. So, I said to them, “It’s ok, it’s not my shit.” Scrubs were handed over and I hotfooted it out of there pronto!

Now, back to this sling. My initial request was greeted with a blank stare! When asked to elaborate, I got a bit tongue-tied as I had never seen one myself. Other nearby staff also decided to chime in with their thoughts on the matter,  and after a lot of argy-bargy, one was found. I presented it to the Sister with a flourish, only to be told to go and fit it myself! No chance! I found the Charge Nurse and told him I needed to watch how he did it. Sorted!

One other episode during handover also made me laugh. Again it was to do with a male patient who had been making sexually inappropriate comments and overtures to the female nurses (bless him, he had to be at least 80, and even if the mind was willing…the body wasn’t able). Anyway this nurse that had handed over, was our previous temporary Ward Manager who had just retired but had come back to do the odd Agency shift. She was very well spoken and rather no-nonsense, and she said that when she had gone to see him he was totally fine with her; she then added,

“I mustn’t have been his type as he obviously didn’t fancy me!”

One of the doctors we have that comes to the ward is very glamorous and likes to wear high heels. (God knows how she walks about in those all day). She had come to see a very poorly patient, and I pointed out to her whereabouts this patient was. She walked into the bay, skidded on the shiny floor and went flat on her face! Now I didn’t actually see her fall, but I heard the racket of the stuff she knocked off the patient’s table, crashing to the floor,  as she went down. Luckily she was unhurt, as I had nipped behind the nurse’s station to stifle my laughter.

I’ve lot count of the amount of times that a patients has broken wind (loudly) just as you stand them up to walk them to the loo or something. Sometimes they are oblivious to it, but if they heard it, then I usually joke that a bit of jet propulsion should speed up our journey, or some such thing.

Lastly, as well as loving to laugh, I also love words, so puns and spoonerisms are things that can always get me laughing. Our male charge nurse is constantly coming out with all kinds of things that are inappropriately funny which certainly brighten up my day; The latest one that I can remember, is when he did a great play on Whitton Tank, where a patient was being discharged to. (Just in case you didn’t get it, T**s and W**k)!

If like me, you love innuendo, double entendre and toilet humour, then nursing had more than it’s fair share of laughs!

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