Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#JusJoJan 2018. January 8th Pants — January 8, 2018

#JusJoJan 2018. January 8th Pants

I hope that you are enjoying  Linda’s Just Jot it January posts.  We are starting week two now, but it is not too late for you to join in the fun if you feel like it.

Here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 8th, 2018, brought to you by the many layered pensitivity, is “Pants.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit pensitivity at her blog, “pensitivity101” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/

Pants. Just the sound of that word brings a childish giggle. Silly really as we all wear them, (well, most of us do that don’t go ‘Commando’)! Of course, being British, the type of pants that I am referring to are underwear, panties, knickers, underpants, or whatever else you want to call these undergarments, not trousers!

There seem to be as many different types of pants as there are names for them and, I think many of us women have certain types of pants that we use for different occasions.

  • The thong (with their cheese slicer type string, which cuts in all the wrong places), on the one end of the extreme.
  • The ‘pulling pants,’ you know the lacy scratchy ones that you wear on a night out if you are feeling lucky, they look nice but are as uncomfortable as hell.
  • The ‘time of the month pants.’ The grotty ones that have gone grey in the wash and have loose bits of elastic hanging off, that nobody is going to see.
  • The ‘shapewear pants’. The pull ’em up and tuck everything in kind of knickers that come up to just below your boobs, and sometimes just to the tops of your thigh, the idea is to give a smooth and slim silhouette. Not bloody likely! With my stomach, the fat has to go somewhere and if it is squeezed into a slinky vice-gripped tube, will likely spill out over the top, making it appear as if I have two sets of boobs! Also, the minute you sit down the damn things will slowly start to roll up and gain momentum as the fat flops out. This leads to numerous trips to the loo to sort them out and a great deal of muttering and cursing at the annoyance of them.
  • The ‘Bridget Jones’ or ‘Mummy’ pants. These are a close relation to shapewear above but not as tight usually and only waist-high as opposed to chest high. They are ideal for when a big meal is imminent, and you want a bit of room to fit all of the courses in. It is a good idea to wear these with the elasticated waist trouser or a loose-fitting dress. Might be a bit of a passion killer though if you are out on the pull!
  • The bloomers.  I know nobody wears these anymore but I couldn’t resist including them. My Nan used to wear these and they came right down to her knees where they were elasticated. There was plenty of room for manoeuvre, and with a pair of ‘stays’ on top, not only would they keep you warm, but also keep young ladies chaste as it would take ages to get that lot off!
  • The ‘work pants.’ These do not need much explanation; they are the comfy, colourful knickers that are normally (in my case) part of a pack of five or even seven that will do for everyday wear. They will not show you up if you get run over by a bus (does anyone else’s Mum ever say that you need to be wearing clean knickers in case you get run over by a bus)?

Now, I wasn’t going to write about men’s undercrackers but I felt it would be mean to leave them out, so although I have no personal experience of wearing them, it won’t stop me from commenting on what I think of them!

  • The thong or if you prefer the ‘posing pouch’. YUCK! I am sorry, but not many people look good in a thong and certainly not men! I am sure they are just as uncomfy for men as they are for women too!
  • The briefs or ‘budgie smugglers.’ Again, in my opinion, they are not that flattering either. They conjure up images in my mind of the type of thing an oiled up bodybuilder wears with massive shoulders and legs, but not much in the trouser department if you know what I mean! ‘Budgie smugglers is overly generous.
  • The ‘Y fronts.’ Have you ever seen such ugly undies?! They seem to come in a high-waisted plain white colour that your grandad wouldn’t be seen dead in, or a really lairy paisley or garish pattern in vomit-inducing lurid colours. Definitely a passion killer!
  • The boxer shorts. These are in my opinion, the best of the lot. There are the loose, hang free type, or the rather snugger, show off the lunchbox, type of affair. You can probably guess which ones I prefer!

Sorry if this post hits a bum note with anyone!

#JusJoJan 2018. January 7th Indelible — January 7, 2018

#JusJoJan 2018. January 7th Indelible

We are nearing the end of the first week for Linda’s Just Jot it January, and I am really getting into the swing of it!

Here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 7th, 2018, brought to you by the lovely Ruth, is “Indelible.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Ruth at her blog, “Image and Word” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://imageandword.wordpress.com/

‘Indelible’ is not a word that I would often use; in fact, I would typically associate it with ink that is meant to be permanent, never to be erased. However, it can also apply to something that cannot be forgotten, perhaps a situation that was witnessed or something said, that has stuck in mind.

Being the kind of person that I am, negative things tend to linger in my memory rather than the positive ones. For example, although it took me numerous attempts to pass my driving test, I don’t remember now too much about the day I finally passed, but I do remember the time that I made one of the examiners scream!

It was a dark and rainy afternoon when I took the test, and of course, I was very nervous. Everything was going reasonably well until I had to change lanes on the dual carriageway. I was told to look over my shoulder before making the manoeuvre and for some reason, as I did so, I started to steer the car over when the lane was not clear. The examiner was a bit scared I think, and that’s when he screamed and steered us back into safety. I was cross because I knew that was the end of my test and another failure, yet we had only drifted slightly over from our lane!

Similarly, I don’t remember many positive things said to me at school, but I do remember when I got caught skiving off one afternoon (the only time I did it) and landed up in the headmistress office the next day to be told off (or rather yelled at). I remember her asking me what I wanted to do when I left school, and at that time I wanted to be a Nanny. Her stinging words have stayed with me still and often ring in my ears. She told me that I would never amount to anything in life, let alone be trusted to be anywhere near children, as I had no commitment or self-discipline. Maybe she said that to spur me on to prove her wrong, or perhaps she really believed that. I don’t know but that day is certainly indelible in my mind.

Well, that has put a downer on this post, so I shall have to perk it up a bit with something positive and what could be better than the indelible memory of my little girl being born when I was beginning to think that I would never have children. She barged her way into the world pretty forcefully to the dulcet tones of Tom Jones belting out ‘It’s Not Unusual.’ My two sisters were there to welcome her with one of them cutting her umbilical cord before this beautiful little bundle was handed to me. That moment will never be erased!

#JusJotJan and #SoCS 2018. January 6th Economising — January 6, 2018

#JusJotJan and #SoCS 2018. January 6th Economising

Day six of Linda’s Just Jot it January and the first Stream of Consciousness post of the year. It is a double bonus in my book, combining the two!

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “eco.” Find a word that starts with “eco” or has “eco” in it, and base your post on that word. Have fun!

Economising is the name of the game in January! After the over-indulgence of the festive period, it is time to cut back.

That means not only trying to save money by not splashing out on things that I don’t need (this is going to be tricky) but also not stuffing my face with things that I don’t need (this is going to be trickier)! Hmmm, I notice a bit of a thing going on here, it seems like I can’t do things by halves, it is all or nothing!

Most people can be satisfied with a small chunk of a family sized chocolate bar. Not me, I will have the small chunk then go back for another, and another until I have polished off the lot! It is the same if I see something in the shops that I want, (mainly gadgets). I think that I am economising by buying that new set of pans or more recently, my new multicooker when in actual fact, I didn’t need them in the first place!

If only I could become as over-indulgent at the gym!

#JusJotJan 2018. January 5th Memories — January 5, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 5th Memories

Day five of Linda’s Just Jot it January and we have already had some cracking prompt words to use. Sorry if I am a bit behind on my reading of your posts, I will try to catch up tomorrow

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 5th, 2018, brought to you by friendly “gender undefined female” (click to read the post) Cage Dunn, is “Memories.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Cage at Cage’s blog, “Cage Dunn: Writer, Author, Teller-of-Tall-Tales” to read her post and say hi! Here’s Cage’s blog: https://cagedunn.wordpress.com/

Messing about 

Every day

magical moments

of fun and play

racing home

in time for tea

endless summers

Special memories

#JusJotJan 2018. January 4th Passionate — January 4, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 4th Passionate

We are on day four of Just Jot it January already and I am really enjoying it. I always enjoy the challenge of having to write about a specific subject or use a particular prompt word.It is interesting too what other people make of the same conditions!

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 4th, 2018, brought to you by the ever-charming Rosemary, is “Passionate.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Rosemary at her blog, “Rosemary Carlson, Writer” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://rosemarycarlson.com/

‘Passionate’ is the kind of word that can be used in a variety of different ways. It conjures up images of ardent lovers ripping each other’s clothes off barely being able to control their lust. (Well, at least, to me it does).

Or, it makes me think of someone who totally believes in and cares what they are doing. For example, raising money for a good cause, and trying to convince others how worthwhile it is, too.

Perhaps it is a football supporter passionate about the game, cheering on his team wherever they are playing, or similarly, a music fan following their group around from gig to gig, buying all the merchandise, and trying to get an autograph.

My passion is my job, or rather my future job, all being well. Throughout my life, I have had many careers from being a (terrible) waitress to working in an office in different guises, both as a civil servant and in an operations department of a holiday brochure company. I have even been a serving soldier and worked in a kebab shop (my first husband owned it). However, it is nursing that I love the best, despite only working in that career for the past ten years or so.

It feels like I have found my ‘niche’ in life which in some ways is pretty ironic considering a), I am clumsy and b), I used to be very squeamish at the sight of blood. I know my family used to joke (well I hope they were joking) that they would run a mile if they saw me coming at them with a needle to take blood! However, I seem to manage doing it quite well.

There are so many aspects of the job that I enjoy; taking care of people, trying to help them feel better, and knowing how the body works (although that Anatomy & Physiology exam was a killer if you pardon the expression)!  Yes, there are other parts of the job that may not be so glamorous but it is all part of the entire process of looking after someone.

I thought that being a Registered Nurse was going to be unattainable for me, due to one reason or another, and that I would have to stay as an Associate Practitioner (Nursing) for the rest of my career. However, there was a small window of opportunity to take the degree and thanks to my boss, I was put forward for it.

All I have to do now, of course, is to pass my degree! Hopefully, my determination and passion will get me through.

#JusJotJan and One-Liner Wednesday 2018. January 3rd Teeth — January 3, 2018

#JusJotJan and One-Liner Wednesday 2018. January 3rd Teeth

Today we are combining One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot it January.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!

Although the above quote makes me laugh, it certainly has more than a ring of truth in it for me. Despite religiously visiting the dentist every six months I have had no end of trouble with my teeth! It didn’t help that in my 20s I still had around 4 or 5 baby teeth with no second teeth to follow.

Bridges, crowns and gold teeth sorted out some of my problems until I ended up with abscesses and infections. Being a heavy smoker for years probably didn’t help either!

Despite giving up the cigarettes three years ago, and still making my regular visits to the dentist, I found out just before Christmas that I had to have another five teeth out, yes FIVE!!! You would think that I would be pretty blasé and calm having teeth out after all my previous experience, but I am a terrible wimp and usually end up shaking and fidgeting.

The dentist got a bit cross with me while yanking out one of the teeth which happened to be a wisdom tooth as I flapped about with my hands as I panicked a bit! He told me off as I could have jerked his hand and caused myself an injury!  To be honest, I felt more like causing him an injury taking a load of teeth out, even though it was for my own good!  Still, he only took out four in the end, after deciding one of them was not too bad after all.

I haven’t smiled a lot since then, I can tell you!

#JusJotJan 2018. January 2nd Boisterous — January 2, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 2nd Boisterous

I love that Linda has the Just Jot it January Challenge to start off the year. This is the 3rd year that I have taken part, and it is one of those challenges that I actually look forward to. It is not only because it gives us all to kick-start our writing, but because it is something of a community effort, with regards to all of us being given the opportunity of suggesting the prompt words. Poor old Linda still does the hard work though of posting the prompts daily and keeping us in order!

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 2nd, 2018, brought to you by Dan Antion, is “Boisterous.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Dan at his blog, “No Facilities,” to read his post and say hi! He’s very friendly. ? Here’s his link:  https://nofacilities.com/

On Christmas Day afternoon Me, Miss Hap and Mr Grump went to my sister (Mrs Masterchef) and brother-in-law’s (Mr Musician). We were lucky in that they hadn’t dished out the silly ‘table presents’ that they like to wrap up. My brother (Mr Entrepreneur) and his girlfriend (Ms Glam) were there too, and we all chose a  random package to unwrap.

Things got pretty loud and boisterous as we tried on some of the wacky wigs and weird masks. The ‘fart extinguisher’ I unwrapped came in handy with the amount of wind produced by the Brussels sprouts and stuffing balls we had all consumed during our respective Christmas dinners!

Mr Grump looked rather fetching in his ‘pearl necklace’, but Miss Hap seemed unimpressed with her nasal hair trimmer for some reason. Mr Musician’s ‘beer goggles’ went well with the George cross wig.

Then it was time to play the ‘Beat The Into’ quiz. We played in our respective couples with Miss Hap supposedly helping Mr Grump and me out.  This was great fun despite the inevitable arguments about rules, counters getting ‘accidentally’ knocked off the board and partners falling out over a difference of opinion on answers. Not that any of us are competitive about our musical knowledge of course. As it happens, I won, (Sorry, my team won), as the quiz was mostly around 90s music and earlier which is right up my street!

Round 2 of the game was even more boisterous due to everyone trying to beat us, and Mr Musician and Mrs Masterchef (cheated) won the 2nd game!

Miss Hap was probably the best behaved – and that is saying something!

#JusJotJan 2018. January 1st Drama — January 1, 2018

#JusJotJan 2018. January 1st Drama

I love that Linda has the Just Jot it January Challenge to start off the year. This is the 3rd year that I have taken part and it is one of those challenges that I actually look forward to. It is not only because it gives us all to kick-start our writing, but because it is something of a community effort, with regards to all of us being given the opportunity of suggesting the prompt words. Poor old Linda still does the hard work though of posting the prompts daily and keeping us in order!

Anyway without further ado, here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 1st, 2018, brought to you by the lovely Ritu, is “Drama.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Ritu at her blog, “But I Smile Anyway…” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://butismileanyway.com/

I would say that drama features pretty heavily in my life, in one way or the other. Being one of six children, there is always something going on with at least one of us. Throw in nephews, nieces, partners, parents, step-relatives, and in-laws and you have one hell of a drama waiting to happen!

I suppose that it is no surprise then that my chosen career is in nursing! There is definitely plenty of drama going on, even if it is not always of the running around trying to get everything done in not enough time, variety. Sometimes the drama is the slow unfolding of a situation that can suddenly escalate unexpectedly.

I always considered myself to be the type of woman who just wanted a quiet life.

Who am I kidding?

A Look Back at 2017, in Blog Posts. — December 31, 2017

A Look Back at 2017, in Blog Posts.

On this last day of 2017, I thought it would be fun to look back over the year at what has been going on in my life and sharing some of my favourite as well as most popular blog posts with you.

As some of you may know, I had another blog Edwina’s Episodes, which had just reached its 3 year anniversary. I was proud of how I had built that blog up, and the number of people who enjoyed it and interacted with me. Well, at the beginning of October, I decided that I could no longer use it as there were so many technical problems with it (mostly from me buggering about with it). Sadly, the site was down more than it was up and I even managed to get myself locked out of it, as well as delete most of it, so it has been retired for good now.

Luckily, I had already set up this blog in my own name, mainly for writing my poems, but as I ended up posting everything on the other blog anyway, it got rather abandoned! It is now fully up and running, but of course, does not have as much content on it, although I am doing my best to rectify that. I won’t be able to link to all of the posts I wanted to over the past year as they are on the other blog, but I have brought some posts over here, and you can click on the links to read them.

Anyway, back to 2017. Starting the year, I was anxiously awaiting getting accepted for a university to study for a BSc in Adult Nursing.  After a series of tests and interviews, I finally got the news I was waiting for on my birthday in February that I was accepted, and started in April as a Student Nurse.  Being a ‘mature student’ was harder than I expected mainly because I have quite a lot of experience in nursing already, but I have to apply it from a different perspective!

As far as blogging was concerned, I decided to introduce my video poems on a Monday as a feature, and team up with Sandra Dorey from Wild Daffodil blog to take part in her #Sillysaturday posts. It started with her making these beautiful little figures out of pebbles, flowers and stones and me telling her that it would be fun if they had a little story to go with them. Sandra suggested a poem would be a good way of telling their story and our collaboration was born! I have to say, I am absolutely loving it and really hope that we will continue this in 2018. My favourite character so far has got to be Maggie the lap dancer.

This all leads to Sandra actually getting some greetings cards printed, some with her artwork on, and some with both her artwork and my poem. What a thrill it was to receive a special package from Daffy, especially as those cards are such excellent quality too.

Throughout the year, I tried to embark on a healthier lifestyle, joining the gym and also trying to adopt a healthier diet. I appreciate that this is still a work in progress but it is something that I am keen to continue in 2018. Hopefully, I will be able to stop myself snacking whilst writing assignments and comfort eating when it all gets too stressful! I will keep you posted of course, on my endeavours.

I wanted to nurture my blog a little more, (before I ended up breaking it) and decided that I needed a little help with some aspects of Social Marketing and Pinterest in particular. I contacted the lovely Suzie from Suzie Speaks who as I am sure many of you know, is a successful  Media Management Consultant and she helped me to grow my Pinterest account followers and views substantially and gave me some fantastic advice to boot! Thankfully, she was there to help out when it all went pear-shaped with my Edwina’s Episodes blog too.

Towards the end of the year, I was thrilled to see that my Halloween and Christmas limericks went down really well with everyone. What really made my day though, was when I actually had requests to write limericks about an elf and a mince-pie! That is what I love so much about the blogging community, the interaction that we have. As yet I do not have a particular feature in mind for 2018, but perhaps I could do something like that. Any ideas would be welcome.

Finally, I would just like to thank all of you so much for reading my blog, especially to those of you still with me despite all the glitches, hitches and cock-ups that happened throughout the year. Your friendship and support mean the world to me. I look forward to seeing what 2018 brings for us, and I wish you all a Happy New Year!!

#SoCS Resolution — December 30, 2017

#SoCS Resolution

This week Linda has given us resolution to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used any way we choose.  

This year I am not sure that I am going to make any New Year resolutions. The thing is, they start off well and then get left behind. This leads to guilt and deprivation, then more doing what I have resolved to give up, then more guilt and deprivation until we get to the end of the year and I am in worse shape than when I started the year!

Of course, I am mainly referring to my weight, and my struggle to lose it. I don’t know what is the matter with me but I just can’t seem to do it and it is getting me down, big time! My blood sugars are all over the place as well at the moment, which just adds to the mess! I haven’t been to the gym or healthy lifestyle appointments either, as I did quite a bit of comfort eating lately, which has led to me not wanting to know how much I weigh, and I feel guiltier than ever that my earlier enthusiasm has gone off on holiday!

Anyway, this post has got a bit depressing and is rapidly going downhill, which was not my intention at all! It does not mean that I am giving up completely on my healthy living quest, just that I am going to take a new approach to it, without putting too much pressure on myself, therefore dooming myself to failure. That is my resolution.

Any ideas?

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