Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Accidents Will Happen! — October 30, 2015

Accidents Will Happen!

As we were all off today, we decided to go into town for a while to have a wander around the shops. Needless to say, Miss Hap wanted to go into one of the shops that is popular with teenagers to look for some jeans. The ones she wanted to try on were black skinny ones with deliberate slashes across the knees.

They fitted her perfectly,  but I was not happy lashing out money on trousers that were already bloody ripped (yes I know I am an old fuddy-duddy), so I said that if we found some that had intact knees we would buy them. As ‘luck’ would have it, we did but they were a slightly different style being high waisted ones.

Miss Hap was a little disgruntled, but I reminded her that she should be grateful and that I could always take them back! Anyway, her feet were now hurting as she had insisted on wearing some trainers that were too small! This child has many pairs of trainers but once she gets something into her head it is very heard to remove it.

The inevitable strop followed and I decided it was time to leave town altogether, especially as Mr Grump’s scowl got bigger as her tantrum got louder! We had to call in at the supermarket on the way home to get a couple of bits and Miss Hap decided she was too crippled by the trainers to come in and would stay in the car as we wouldn’t be long.

Both myself and Mr Grump felt a bit frazzled and I was desperate to go to the loo, so we hot footed  it into the supermarket to get on with it. As we walked in together I told him I was just going to nip to the toilets and he went to buy me some stamps at the kiosk. I walked off but called out to him to make sure he had some cash. He stopped dead to check his pockets and got rammed by an old woman unable to stop her trolley at such short notice.

Being as he is so slight, he was sent flying forward stumbling a little, trying to stay upright. I saw all of this as I turned back and was doubled over laughing my head off (not a great idea when bursting for the loo). what made it funnier was despite the fact the lady had apologised to Mr Grump for knocking him flying, she gave him (or maybe it was me), a filthy look, tutted and stomped off!

I rather quickly took off as well to get to my destination before any other accidents occurred, in a much better mood!

Oh and the sodding jeans didn’t fit Miss Hap when we got home either!

Image courtesy of Pixabay 

Design Fails! — October 29, 2015

Design Fails!

Now I like to think that I am a woman of the times! (Ahem, except perhaps when it comes to music, as I am still in my little 80’s bubble)! I know that Social Media is the way forward and I am pretty good on Facebook. Ok, I don’t post that often apart from my blog, but I do when I have got something to say that might be slightly interesting.

Anyway, I have to face facts, I am a bloody dunce when it comes to the rest of them, despite my efforts! I saw loads of posts about how wonderful Pinterest is, and I duly went over there and set up a few boards. It is ok but I still have quite a lot to learn. Whilst looking at Suzie’s blog this week with her lovely coordinated colours and sleek-looking blog, it made me think that I out to have a go at making my own pins.

How hard could it be? I have got Canva as well and  Pic Monkey. I know how to watch a tutorial! In fact I spent a good couple of hours last night watching tutorials, and, convinced that I was an expert, decided to put it all into practice today.

I thought I might design a new Instagram picture showing off my colour coordinating and designing skills promoting my blog. Well. Instagram is still new to me; I signed up ages ago but only posted this week and have the grand total of three photos to my credit on there! Prolific is not really the word! Now, it is all Hugh’s fault that I actually decided to put my Instagram account to good use!

So today once I had done some chores, I sat down to design a masterpiece putting into practice all that I had learned last night. It took me ages to produce even one design. Miss Hap gave me a few tips (“that is rubbish” being one of them), and took great delight in nudging my arm whilst I painstakingly tried to overlay a picture and erase it onto a background which led me to taking a chunk out of my leg!

A few hours later when Mr Grump came home, I asked which one of the three designs he liked best. With ill-disguised indifference, he told me that he liked the one I had before! (I never even had one before). This is where it would come in bloody handy to have a bit of imagination as all three were a disaster!  Ah well, I think I’ll just stick to stringing words together, even if it is very, long-winded!

Fourth collection of contest submissions — October 28, 2015

Fourth collection of contest submissions

Quick, get your entries in for Aurora’s Haloween Poem contest, You have 4 1/2 days left! I have joined in the fun as you can see!

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aurorajeanalexander's avatarWriter's Treasure Chest

We proudly present the fourth collection of contest submissions for the
1st Halloween-poem contest.

THE EXPERIMENT OF THE EYE

(by Camberon Rombért)

The mind is in need of stretching can be a dangerous lesson

To teach; it does a lot of assuming on the part of the part of the pupil,

in terms of flexibility. It’s the Experiment of the Eye.

Later, some years when the lesson’s still fresh, you’ll see the demise of your last sanctuary, you’ll hear the gunshots always. Why, why did I see the dreadful Eye?

Why was it looking at me?

Given everything in an objective view I can’t see how it would ever turn out differently.

What terrified, what could never be explained,

Has given me perspective, has made corporeal the things I didn’t see.

IMG_0526


Happy Halloween

(by CJ Corbi)

It’s just a house

                      With decorations.

Knock-Knock
         …

View original post 622 more words

Wacky Word Wednesday —

Wacky Word Wednesday

It’s Wednesday already and time to time to unearth another little-used word, dust it off and give breathe new life into it. The word I have for you today was made popular by Princess Anne, of all people. As some of you may know, the Queen’s only daughter can be rather feisty and grumpy, and takes after her father for not giving a toss about what people think of her!  So here is that delightful word.

Naff. For its first meaning, this word is followed by ‘off!’ It is a wonderful substitute for the ‘f-word’ when in polite company (if it’s good enough for the Royals….) It conveys annoyance at cheeky journalists snapping less than flattering pictures or invading one’s privacy. Pretty much any time someone or something gets on your nerves, this word helps to express the outrage felt!

Now for the other meaning, it is unstylish, useless, shoddy and second-rate. It is the mullet hairdo, or the cheesy pop album; a blast from the past that was pretty crappy first time around!  It is getting short-changed, diddled, scammed, and ripped off, by some shady character. Clashing colours, substandard service, embarrassing in-laws, anything that is a bit below par really. Something I know I am guilty of being.

I’m Not Good At Goodbyes! — October 27, 2015

I’m Not Good At Goodbyes!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “If You Leave.”

I was going to write a little update about my new job this week, but when I saw this prompt about leaving, I thought I would tie it in as it fits perfectly.

I am not a person who likes change very much. As you may have gathered, I am very routine oriented, set in my ways, and I suppose, a bit of an old stick-in-the-mud really. however I knew that i was going to have to bite the bullet and make a change in my life, or shut up moaning about it!

Without going into details, work at the hospital had changed since I had started there some five and a half years earlier. I used to love going in to work every morning and was always upbeat about it. A year later, I ,moved wards as part of some training I was doing and stayed there for the remainder of the time.

The camaraderie amongst the staff was what kept me there for so long; they are a wonderful team and coped with numerous changes without a lowering the quality of care they gave to the patients. Then slowly, but surely, and for various reasons. staff started leaving, and the dynamics were changing, as was the atmosphere. Morale was pretty low by the time the 20th person in a year had left, and I must admit, this was when I decided it was time to go.

Nothing stays the same of course, and sometimes change is for the better, but it did not make me feel better at all.When the job came up in the community, I decided to go for it. As you know, much to my surprise and delight, I got the job!

I then panicked for a bit as it meant change, and although I wanted it, I was worried about starting again. After all, I knew everyone at work, and they all knew me, Not only that but I was confident in my job and knew what was expected of me. In my new job, I would be learning a totally different way of using my skills with a whole new group of people who I didn’t know.

Well, I made the decision to take it. I knew that it was the right thing for me to do. I was not happy at the hospital anymore, and I would be a miserable influence on others which isn’t fair.So here i am, three weeks in and on a week off already! (I had already booked this week off for half term)!

I have been welcomed by the team who all seem to be very friendly. I have learned lots of new techniques, new ways of doing things, and have made friends with Mr SatNav who is going to be a constant companion to me due to my useless sense of direction!

It is going to take me a little while to get re-acquainted with full-time hours, but I know I can do it, (After working for 18 hours per day in a kebab shop 6 days a week in the past, I am sure I can hack a 37.5 hour week)!

My only regret is not saying goodbye properly to the staff at the hospital. I did not want a leaving do as it is not my thing really, and I ended up going very quickly in the end, once the paperwork was sorted this end, so there were some staff I hadn’t seen at all! Mind you, I am not good at goodbyes and bawled my head off on my last day at the hospital!

Creative Differences — October 26, 2015

Creative Differences

pencils-
http://www.pixabay.com

I am jealous of those that are crafty

They make something out of nothing at all

I am hopeless at painting

In fact I can’t even draw!

So many times I’ve been scuppered

By my lack of artistic prowess

I wish I could master home sewing

And knock up a beautiful dress

My hair looks totally unstylish

It is either up or it’s down

My makeup I keep understated

Or I’ll end up like Coco the Clown!

I love to get gorgeous flowers

But just plonk them straight in a vase

My presentation is seriously lacking

I won’t get any gold stars!

Although I will never be arty

I don’t consider it a curse

Because I can still be creative

By writing a few lines of verse!

Ronovan’s Writes, Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge; #68 ‘Muse’ & ‘Pen’ —

Ronovan’s Writes, Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge; #68 ‘Muse’ & ‘Pen’

This week I think the words are a little tricky! Ronovan has given us ‘pen’ and ‘muse’ to use for his Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt, and this is where I ended up with them!

Chewing on my pen,

musing over what to write…….

Don’t my nails look nice?

Thinking!

A British Winter — October 24, 2015

A British Winter

The summer is now over

The clocks go back tonight

Dark winter evenings beckon

And the mornings are less bright

Halloween will be upon us

When the kids will knock our doors

Dressed as ghosts and vampires

Dripping with blood and gore

Next we celebrate Guy Fawkes

And his failed gunpowder plot

With fireworks and bonfires

Sparklers, the lot!

Then of course comes Christmas

With its season of goodwill

When Santa comes a calling

Looking for some stockings to fill

Then we start the New Year

With hopes and dream anew

Resolutions for improvements

Which last until week two!

February brings Valentine’s Day

When love is in the air

With hearts, and flowers and chocolates

And cute little teddy bears!

Then the winter’s over

Spring comes to say hello

And, seeing as this is Britain

We’ll probably get some snow!

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons 

Hugh’s Photo Challenge: Week 3 – What Lurks in the Shadows? —

Hugh’s Photo Challenge: Week 3 – What Lurks in the Shadows?

Hugh has gone with the spooky and the scary this week of Halloween for his photo challenge.

The photo I have decided to share with you is a rather hideous spider! As you can see he looks as though he might glow in the dark with that luminous green body. I was informed by The Book Blogger that he could be an orb – weave spider, but to be quite honest, I did not get close enough to him to try to identify him.

At the time of this photo is was back in the summer when I was working at the hospital still. I had gone outside at break with a couple of nurses  and we sat on the ‘smokers bench’. This little fellow appeared, which sent us all off in different directions screaming! Give us blood and gore and we will be there poking about, but show us a spider or a wasp and you won’t see us for dust!

I was brave though as I took the photo (thank God for the zoom feature). The quality of course is not great as I took it as quickly as I could then got out of there!

On the dangers of knicker elastic — October 23, 2015

On the dangers of knicker elastic

This is not only funny but sadly true as well. 🙂

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