Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

I Am What I Am….No Really, I Am! — October 3, 2015

I Am What I Am….No Really, I Am!

It is ironic that in this day and age, it is easier for someone to steal my identity than it is for me to prove who I am! Granted, I have had a few marriages in the past, (and of course, a few different surnames that went with them). but the DBS certificate (Disclosure and Barring Check) came back the next day and I had to declare all of my names on that (nothing screams master criminal than a load of different names, but I sailed through the checks)!

Nowadays, when applying for a job, it is not enough to pass the interview and prove your qualifications, you also have to prove who you are. (I pity the poor sod that would want my identity). I had gone prepared to the interview with originals and photocopies (all neatly compiled in a folder for the interviewer to keep) of birth certificate, driving licence and proof of my Royal College of Nursing membership as proof.

All well and good, Later on that evening  I had to scan and fax a utility bill for more proof of address; did that, e-mailed over Council Tax bill. Nope, still not good enough.They needed a bank  statement which was tricky as mine are online and they did not want one downloaded from the internet! I managed to obtain one and thought that was it.

Heard nothing for a while. In fact waited 2 weeks. I phoned to see what the hold up was as the 2nd referee had sent hers in and that was the last thing they were waiting for. They neglected to tell me that I could not get my start date until I proved my ID! I thought I had.

No, they wanted a marriage certificate of my current surname. Fine, I sent it over. Nothing for another few days. I phoned again. “Why was it not your maiden name on the marriage certificate? ”  Grrr, that might be because I was married to Miss Hap’s dad at that time and had his surname. I told them I would send over copy divorce papers, which I did.

They phoned me yesterday. Now they need a marriage certificate from 14 years ago to Miss Hap’s dad to prove the change of name from maiden to his (Thank Christ I reverted back to maiden name after 1st divorce!

Now I felt pretty grotty yesterday, my head was banging and I was boiling hot and sweating (still from this bloody virus). I searched high and low, all through the files I kept paperwork, nothing! I was sure I had a copy but could not think where it was. I phoned Mr Grump who was at Mum’s having a few drinks with my sisters and brother-in-law who said to ring up and get a copy.

I phoned up, and to cut a long story short, can’t get one till Tuesday night. Great, a bloody fraudster would have had one emailed to the new job in less than an hour! That is not the end of the story, though.

Mr Grump came back later on in the evening a little worse for wear, and wobbly on his feet. I decided that then was a good time to vent my anger and frustration that I couldn’t find the copy of the certificate, and felt sorry for myself because I felt ill.

That was it. He charged up the stairs, grabbed the stepladder and was set on going into the loft where I had mentioned it could be. By this time he had got changed in was only wearing boxers and a tie-belt dressing gown, not the best attire for clambering about in the loft. I told him not to go up there, but he was determined (probably to shut me up)!

I looked through the fingers of my hand across my eyes as he stomped up the ladder, rocking it as he went. I grabbed hold of it as he got to the top, and held my breath as he heaved himself up through the opening. I felt dizzy as he was wavering for a bit, and I envisioned him plummeting down, over the bannister and down the stairs. Not a scene I wanted on a Friday night. I had already clouted my little toe on the wardrobe earlier and was hobbling, so did not fancy the delights of A&E.

After squashing my Christmas tree in its box by the opening, he finally made it into the loft, and some banging and crashing ensued. He asked me about five times what he was looking for and I told him with increasing rage. He  then mentioned that he found a bag of paperwork, so I asked him to hand it down. He did not hear me properly and a loud BANG signalled the bag dropping like a stone, scattering its contents willy nilly on the landing and stairs.It wasn’t paperwork. It was a bag of crafts, all little bits and pieces. Quite a lot of bits and pieces actually.

That made me mad so I had another fit of yelling, which annoyed him so he muttered to himself about how ungrateful I was, whilst deciding that actually sleeping in the loft would be preferable to me moaning at him all night! He had forgotten what he was looking for again, and I managed to coax him down empty-handed.

Does anyone know a good counterfeiter?!!!!!!

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In The Future: What’s Next For Edwina’s Episodes? — October 2, 2015

In The Future: What’s Next For Edwina’s Episodes?

Today is the last day of the Writing 101 course, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. Not just for the fact of learning some new ways of gaining inspiration that I never would have considered, but I also met some more wonderful bloggers, whose work I may not have found if it were not for this course. I have, of course, shared some of these blogs with you all so you can enjoy them as well.

Now comes the tricky part; What do I want the future to hold for my blog? Well, as I have mentioned, I signed up for NANoWriMo during November as I wanted to really challenge myself.(Actually, I think I have punched too far above my weight on this one. I can’t even understand how to use some of those ‘writer’s apps’ like ‘Scrivener’ or ‘YWriter’ so God knows how I am going to knock out 50 000 words in one month. Still. it wouldn’t be a challenge if it were to be too easy!

So, as a result of my overestimation of my abilities, my blog might be a little neglected during November, as I probably won’t get much time to do it! I will definitely be posting, but it may be a little sporadic, to say the least.

I thought that come December, I might want to slow down a bit on the blog anyway, but then I am not so sure. One of the biggest attractions about blogging for me is the interaction with other bloggers that I get on a daily basis. I will just have to see how that goes….

As far as my blog content goes, I will still be writing about the funny, the silly and the downright hilarious side of life; I would like to keep up my ‘Wacky word Wednesday’ but am running out of inspiration for that so might have to re-think that one, The Haiku challenges I take part in, I love and will keep on with those, as I will with the ‘Free-For-All Friday’ feature. I also enjoy Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday posts and have a go when I can, as I do with Ron’s (recently joined by Colleen) BeWoW posts.

So, that is my plan for my blog in the next year or so. I might get involved in other challenges along the way, or perhaps try to introduce a new feature on my blog, who knows? I never even expected my blog to last this long!  I don’t want to have too much structure to my blog as it takes away my freedom, and I like an element of surprise as well, so that a reader doesn’t always know what they are going to get when they come to my blog!

Going Smoke Free: One Year On. — October 1, 2015

Going Smoke Free: One Year On.

I never thought I would do it, but I have actually reached a whole year without smoking! Now I know this does not sound like much, but I am pretty proud of myself at the moment. I started smoking when I was about 12 years old. having the odd cig now and again, before turning into a 20 a day fully fledged smoker after only a couple of years. Sometimes, I would smoke even more, depending on who I was with and what the occasion was.

I realised that I had smoked throughout my entire adult life which is nothing at all to be proud of, and I knew it was going to be desperately difficult to kick the habit, My sister and brother-in-law gave up on New Years Eve the year before, but I was ‘not ready’ at that point.

Being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in September last year though did make me realise that I needed to stop. We have a campaign running over here in the UK called ‘Stoptober’ where you can get lots of extra support and help to give up, and I signed up. Plus myself and Mr Grump went to the pharmacy run stop smoking sessions (there are 6 in order to get ‘patched up’ ready for the event.

Suffice it to say. I stopped using the patches after about 3 weeks and was totally nicotine free. I have not smoked since; a thirty-six-year habit successfully stubbed out! Here are the benefits I have noticed:

  • I no longer freeze outside in the winter having a crafty cigarette
  • I don’t have to struggle with a lighter in a gale force wind to light a cigarette.
  • I am not glared at in the street (well at least not for smoking anyway)
  • People do not cough loudly as they walk past me emphasising the point that they do not approve of smoking even outdoors.
  • I can sit inside at a pub or a cafe for the entire time!
  • You can smell my perfume properly instead of it mixed with the pungent odour of cig smoke!
  • I can get in a lift now without holding my breath or standing in the corner in case I offend anyone with the smell of cigarettes!
  • I can still stand outside at work with the others but not worry that I am going to have to put my cig out in a hurry in case we get caught.

Things I have noticed that are not so good:

  • I have put on at least a stone
  • I have no vices left (anyone got any ideas)?
  • I don’t get to stay inside as I prefer to stand out with the smokers (you get the best gossip)!
  • I miss it, as I did actually enjoy it
  • I have had more sore throats than ever before!

I just wanted to give my encouragement to those that are starting out today on the path to a smoke-free life, that you CAN do it, It just takes a bit of determination, a job lot of patches and whatever you do, don’t have those lozenges or sprays, as they are like pepper spray!! (Seriously, I thought I was going to combust, my eyes were watering and my throat was burning, and I had to spit the bloody thing out)!

The BASH is BACK! The Second Annual #BloggersBash 2016 —

The BASH is BACK! The Second Annual #BloggersBash 2016

The Second Annual Bloggers Bash Announced. Don’t miss out.

Sacha Black's avatarSacha Black

Annual Bloggers Bash Is BACK

After the stonking success of the first Bloggers Bash, the committee crawled under their respective duvets and hid having exhausted their supplies of extroversion.

HOWEVER, we have recovered, reconvened… discussed, deliberated…. and guess what…. we’re going to do it all over again! THE BASH IS BACK PEOPLE. The bash is really back.

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‘Fourth Generation Farmgirl’ Tonya Pops In For A Chat. —

‘Fourth Generation Farmgirl’ Tonya Pops In For A Chat.

Today I am so excited as I will be conducting my first ever blog interview. as part of the Writing 101 course. I will be chatting with the lovely Tonya, or Fourth Generation Farmgirl, as many of you know her, and am thrilled that she has agreed to take part.

Ever since I first came across this blog, I have been impressed with the genuine love for the animals, the farm and traditions that make up Tonya and husband Scott’s lives. Tonya is one of those people who seem to excel in whatever they put their mind to.

That is not to say she had her share of trials and tribulations, not least the almost rebuilding of her home, and losing her beloved chickens last year to a fox. She gets on with it though, picks herself up and keeps going. I admire her spirit and determination.

I am very nosy by nature, so fired off a few questions for Tonya in order that we can all get to know her and Green Hill Farm a little better.

  1. I would like to know how you manage to find time to work on the farm, make such beautiful recipes, and carry out your work as a speech and language therapist.

I write this blog mainly from my perspective as it is called Fourth Generation Farmgirl; however, let me just say, there certainly wouldn’t be a Green Hill Farm or a Fourth Generation Farmgirl without my husband Scott, a.k.a. Farmguy.  We are truly partners in all things.  I’ve encouraged, supported, and helped him in his career as much as he’s stood by me in my endeavours, the biggest endeavour–saving, restoring, and loving Green Hill Farm and all of its inhabitants.  I’d like to take a moment to express how fortunate I am to have Scott by my side.  First, he’s one of the smartest, hardest working, and most decent people I know.  He advocates for and loves animals as much as I do and enjoys caring for our menagerie of critters.  Days on the farm can be described as a marathon or a sprint, depending on everything going on in our lives; and, because the needs of the animals are constant, there is never a “free day.”  That’s why we are also fortunate that my parents live next door and help out occasionally.  There is ALWAYS something to maintain, repair, feed, clean, nurture, and love around here, but together, we seem to find a balance.

For me, the key to finding balance in daily life includes embracing simplicity, and this includes mealtime.  One aspect of Fourth Generation Farmgirl is sharing recipes; some of these recipes are heirloom and have been in my family for many years.  I’m not a gourmet cook by any means, but I do enjoy the creative process of cooking.  My favourite thing to do is to invent as I go.  Most times this turns out well, and on occasion, it doesn’t; however, the key for me is keeping it simple.  I love straight-forward recipes that don’t take a lot of time to prepare but are easy and delicious.  I hope the recipes I share on my blog meet this criteria.  I understand that people are busy like us and are more likely to try a recipe, especially if it’s uncomplicated and calls for ingredients they already have on hand. This is even truer after a long day of work.

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These days, I’m fortunate to have a little more control over my work schedule.  For 18 years, I worked as a speech and language pathologist in a hospital, private practices, and public schools, providing therapy to both adults and children.  During my tenure as a speech and language therapist, I mainly worked with children who have special needs–particularly, children who have autism spectrum disorders.  I worked full-time, part-time, and recently as an independent contractor, coordinating my own schedule.  I’m enjoying my position as an independent contractor as it allows more flexibility for my role on Green Hill Farm as well as Marketing and Client Event Coordinator for my husband’s business.  I also appreciate having additional time to pursue civic and personal projects.

  1. You have also written a book. Please tell us more about it.

Thanks so much for asking, Judy.  Clementine: The Communi-CAT, A Guide for Teaching Social Communication Skills is my first children’s book.  It’s a story, a communication lesson, and a social communication activity book all in one.  It features a tricolor cat as well as two young children who demonstrate different facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice through photographs and descriptions.  The descriptive text and humorous, colourful photographs of Clementine engage children between the ages of 4-8 in a manner that creates interest, joint attention, and an increased understanding of social language skills.

This book provides a basic lesson in social language skill development that would be helpful to all children; however, it also addresses a need in a growing population of children who have autism spectrum disorders and significant difficulty with interpersonal communication skills.  The CDC reports that autism spectrum disorders are the fastest growing developmental childhood disability:  a research study from 2000 indicated that 1/150 children were diagnosed with autism, and more recently, a study from 2015 showed 1/50 children were identified with this developmental disorder.  The concept of this book is based in research indicating that “animals encourage social interaction.“  According to a recent study by researcher Marguerite E. O’Haire and colleagues from the University of Queensland, Australia, “the presence of animals appears to encourage social interaction among children with autism.  Including an animal in children’s playtime or home activities may be an effective way to encourage socialization with other children as well as adults.”

While Clementine: The Communi-CAT is an educational tool that could be used to  advocate for and support children who have special needs, it is also a basic lesson in social communication with follow-up activities that would benefit all children.  It’s my hope that this book will empower parents to advocate for their children by encouraging them to have better interpersonal communication skills; important skills that would help a child to make a friend or participate in group activities more confidently.  Strong interpersonal communication skills are fundamental for building relationships and are directly related to a child’s success in school, both academically and socially.

My book is on sale locally at Little Dickens Bookstore in Lynchburg, Virginia and very soon will be available on-line with Barnes & Noble Booksellers.

Clementine: The Communi-CAT is currently available through the following website:   www.clementinethecommunicat.com

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  1. Blogging, writing books, or acrostic poems? Tell me your favorite.

I love the creative process of all three.  I wrote my first children’s book/ therapy guide last year and enjoyed seeing it come together:  from the initial spark of an idea, development of a concept, photographing the story sequence, and finally, the finished product.  It was all very exciting!  While writing the text and photographing the subjects of the book was a lengthy process, writing acrostic poetry is a little less time-consuming.  I learned to write acrostic poems years ago in 10th grade English class, and one or two of my poems ended up in the high school literary magazine, Collage.  I really like writing this kind of poetry— figuring out how to make it come together; and, for some reason, it comes easily for me.  Last winter, after spending most of the morning shovelling snow, I composed a poem about a shovel on the way to the grocery store.  It’s fun to create a poem in a short amount of time compared to working on a project, like a book, that takes a lot longer.  I guess instant gratification is at play.  But, of all three, blogging is probably my favourite.  Fourth Generation Farmgirl is fairly eclectic as I address the following areas in my posts:  farm life, recipes, family stories, photography, personal reflections, poetry, crafts, wine, etc.  I also find the variety of subject matter and the potential for creativity very gratifying.  I’m always enthusiastic about choosing a subject for my next post.

  1. What is your favourite time of year on the farm?

I enjoy observing all of the seasons on Green Hill Farm as each one showcases the beauty of the landscape as well as the animals in it–both wild and domestic.  I love looking outside in the winter and watching the bright, red Cardinals flit about against the backdrop of snow, or seeing the woolly sheep resting on a carpet of newly green pasture in the spring.  Summer is lush with everything in bloom and a bounty of bunny rabbits, nibbling on clover and rolling around in the raised beds of my kitchen garden.  And, of course, there’s the glowing warmth of fall:  temperate days and foliage the colour of fire–perfect weather for taking Maud and Dash for a walk.

Although, if I had to choose my favourite time of year on the farm, I’d probably choose spring.  Spring is my choice for two reasons.  First, winter on the farm, while beautiful, is brutal.  We actually refer to the farm as “The Tundra” in winter:  it’s cold, the wind howls, and it’s grey and dark most days.  This isn’t bad if you can stay inside where it’s warm and cosy, but we’re constantly outside caring for our animals.  By the time spring rolls around, I’m incredibly thankful for warmer days and greener pastures.  Second, spring is simply a glorious time of year on the farm—a treat for the senses:  pastures take on a greener hue; the sky is blue with big, fluffy clouds; trees begin budding out and flowering; birds are singing, daffodils are blooming, and a sweet fragrance from Grandma’s lilacs, irises, and sweet shrub fill the air.

Most importantly, gone are the days of being accosted by strong, cold winds that whip about as I step onto the porch; but instead, warm, gentle breezes greet me as I go about my farm chores.  And, for this, I am always happy to see spring.

  1. What is your favorite heirloom recipe?

My great-grandmother’s recipe for tomato soup is definitely my favorite.  It’s very simple and unassuming, but delicious.  It only requires three ingredients:  homemade tomato juice, milk, and baking soda (to keep milk from curdling).  It can be served casually, in a mug with some oyster crackers, or served more formally as a first course, using nice China along with a garnish of basil leaf.  Either way, it’s wonderful on a cold day.  I have many fond memories of Grandma Rieley and Dad making this family favorite.  http://fourthgenerationfarmgirl.com/2014/11/09/heirloom-recipe-tomato-soup/

  1. You seem a perfectionist.  I love the way when you showcase a recipe, it is not just the food that looks beautiful, but also the presentation, the linens used or the crockery.  Would you agree?

First, thank you for the compliment, Judy.  Your observation is accurate.  🙂  I am a perfectionist.  Sometimes, I drive myself and Farmguy up a wall with my pursuit of perfection, but I’ve tried to tone it down over the years.  It’s important to me to do a good job and present things in the best possible way.  I really love creating something beautiful and knowing that others will get enjoyment from it.  When I photograph my recipe sequences for a post, I definitely put a lot of thought into making it look attractive.  You mentioned the crockery and linens earlier; very often, I use my grandmother’s antique plates and vintage linens in photographs as a way to remember and pay tribute to her.  Grandma Rieley was a wonderful cook and loved antiques, and I think she would have liked that I use her special belongings in this way.

Judy, thank you for the opportunity to share Fourth Generation Farmgirl with your readers.  I so enjoyed answering your questions.

Thank you Tonya for taking time out of your hectic life and sharing life on Green Hill Farm with us. I have enjoyed it immensely.

If you want to find out more about Green Hill Farm, Tonya’s mouth-watering recipes, wines, the animals and much more, then please visit her blog  Fourth Generation Farm girl. 

Please note: All photos are property of Fourth Generation Farm Girl and have been used with permission. 

One-Liner Wednesday. That’ll Make Me Feel Better!!! — September 30, 2015

One-Liner Wednesday. That’ll Make Me Feel Better!!!

“Take one or two of these mixed in a little water before bed….be careful though as you might vomit. I did when I took them!”

Some advice from my GP today when I went to see here with a severe sore throat and ‘bumpy’ painful tongue.

She gave me some strong pain killers to take before bed when my throat is at its worst, and my tongue feels like it is going to dry up and fall off!

Not sure if they are going to make me feel better or worse!

This post was inspired by Linda G Hill

Wacky Word Wednesday #21 —

Wacky Word Wednesday #21

I have got one of my favourite words for you today for my Wacky Word Wednesday. It is one that I do use quite a bit still, especially when I am at work combing the knots out of my patients’ hair. However, it needs to have its moment of glory as not enough people are using it. So let’s hear it for the wonderfully sounding…..

Tatty. Yes, it is the tangled-haired, scragged and scruffy little mangy mutt that trots about needing a damn good brushing. The broken down dilapidated and deteriorating building. a crummy carbuncle that has seen better days.

Moth-eaten and manky furniture in a forgotten rundown shack, that has gone to seed and is well past its prime. A dog-eared book in a down-at-heel, dingy dive of a hotel, with it shabby and squalid decor, that is disintegrating into dust.

It is a bit like Miss Hap at the end of a school day! She goes in hair brushed and uniform pressed, and comes home bedraggled, and worse for wear! God knows what they do to them 🙂

Mining My Own Material. — September 29, 2015

Mining My Own Material.

The assignment we were given for Writing 101 today is to look back into our previous posts,or social media and find something to re-use or recycle from it. Perhaps an unused draft (I never have those, I have to publish everything straight off, or schedule it) for example.

I have decided that my whole post will be made up of previous post titles that I have used, so don’t be surprised if it does not make that much sense (you should already be used to that from me anyway).

Firstly, I’m ‘pleased to meet you’. I’m Judy and I like to blog about ‘when things go wrong.’ It is normally a good idea to ‘think before you blog’, but always ‘be yourself.’ ‘I write because’  there are so many ‘things I like’. for example, it could be ‘expanding on comments,  ‘what I see in a tree’ or even just writing about ‘home.’ ‘What a mix-up!’

‘I would tell you over a coffee’ that I have ‘no sense of direction’ despite being told that ‘it is all about perspective’, and anyway, getting lost takes me to ‘new horizons.’

Blogging, to me, brings a much-needed ‘ray of sunshine’ and makes for ‘a colourful life’. In fact, I think I have become ‘addicted to blogging’ due to having found a wonderful ‘community’ of ‘fantastic friends.’

Think Before You Blog. — September 28, 2015

Think Before You Blog.

I am not one for analysing my stats (mainly because I don’t really know how to). However, I understand the basics like number of views and what my top posts are.

Today for Writing 101, we are to study our stats, and write a post based on a choice of expanding on a popular post, or trying to write specifically for people from the country that brings in the most views. We can, if we choose, write one about the search terms used that bring traffic to the blog, referrers or clicks. The latter sounds a bit too complicated for me, so I am going to keep it simple and write about my best viewed post instead.

I have noticed that one post in particular, that was my most popular, was also the one where I caused the most controversy. It was my own opinion based on the Christmas Concert that I attended at my daughter’s school which you can read here.

I have mentioned that I am prone to inappropriate laughter, and can be set off by the slightest thing. Well the drum did it during this concert, and despite trying to rein myself in, I just found it hilarious, as did my younger sister sat next to me.

I don’t know how many times I mentioned that I was actually impressed by all the work and effort that the staff and the pupils put into this concert, especially as some of the children had only just started in September and had never picked up a musical instrument. The problem was, that I had made a bit of fun on my blog, and my daughter decided to tell a few friends at school, who told other friends….who told parents…..who told teachers!

Oh dear! I had a couple of comments reminding me how difficult it was to put on this type of show. I was reminded that it was CHILDREN I was being mean to (despite me saying that I loved it at the end), and I took the post down.

I felt pretty low, even though I had intended it as a tongue-in-cheek post, it had been completely misunderstood and they had missed the point entirely. I have since put it back up as (hopefully) the dust has now settled.

I actually nearly gave up blogging after that, even though at that time I was completely anonymous, and nobody knew which school concert I had attended (until my daughter proudly informed all of her friends). It taught me a lesson though.

I shall keep my gob firmly shut after this year’s concert (assuming I am not banned)!

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Oil — September 26, 2015

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Oil

I enjoyed having a go at TJs Household Haiku Challenge last week and seeing what others had come up with, so I thought I would have another go at it. This week the subject is ‘oil.’

Mmmm I love a roast

Chicken bathed in garlic oil –

Bagsy, the skin’s mine!

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