2015-07-05T14:44:58+01:00

Episode 404: New Experiences.

July 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/45 Comments

I haven’t told any of you this yet (well apart from Hugh in an e-mail), but for the last couple of months I have been writing some articles for a relatively new online magazine called Writing Times.

Ever since I started this blog back in November, I have become more and more obsessed with writing. and I especially love doing those wacky news articles such as this one (which I actually did for the magazine) and this as well. I have written them under my real name Judy Martin as I wanted to do something as ‘me’ so to speak!

Anyway, this magazine has all sorts from an agony aunt, to reviews, recipes, Flash Fiction competitions and loads of other great stuff. I wanted to gain some experience in writing, so contacted them to see if I could do anything for them, and am now part of a great team.

They are always looking for new writers in all sorts of topics, so if you too are looking to get some experience (I am really enjoying myself digging around for new stuff to write about) then perhaps you would like to contact them here.

Episode 403: Proud Mummy!

July 4, 2015/Judy E Martin/41 Comments

Ah, the school report. I remember being given an envelope addressed to my mum near the end of term which I knew contained the dreaded school report. Back in ‘those days’ things were pretty simple. You were given A B C D E as a grade for your school work. This might be followed by a + or a – but all in all, very easy to understand! If you got an A you were doing well, and an E meant you were in the shit, both at home and at school!

I never got many As unfortunately, except in English (because I liked it). I got by mostly on Bs and Cs which of course meant that I always got comments on my report such as ‘could do better’ and that kind of thing. Mum was a little disappointed (Dad more so when and if I ever told him) but I just did not like that school.

Anyway, Miss Hap goes to the same school but luckily for her, she is not blighted by my lacklustre results as all of the teachers have left since I was there. I received her report by e-mail! I got a notification that it was up on the school website and that I could log in to see it.

I managed to do it this time thankfully as it saved me the humiliation of e-mailing the school back and forth when I could not even log on last term,and had problems being able to read it in the right programme!

Gone are the days of the good old grading system and now we are graded with a number and a letter. For example 6A, 5C, that sort of thing. plus another number from 1-4 for ‘attitude to learning!’ It is all a bit confusing for me; especially as I still refer to her as a 1st year rather than being in year 7 (why the hell they had to change all that. I really don’t know, especially as we still have a sixth form, which I am assuming would be a year 15 or some such nonsense)!

Anyway, Miss Hap has had a pretty bumpy first year, with more than a few setbacks, some more serious than others, but all of them upsetting. This meant that we have also been to the school for meetings on a few occasions, and have got to know a couple of staff members quite well. (I have to say they have been brilliant).

I was delighted to see that Miss Hap had done particularly well in Art. Now she says she cannot draw and has got herself in a state about it, She also at first, did not score that high in the subject due to lack of confidence. You can imagine how proud I am when she had a glowing report with her teacher saying how far she has come and how much she is applying herself to it. I was so pleased with her last Art homework, she spent so much time on it (the picture is the end result) and it paid off!

She also came top in German with 82% as she absolutely loves it! Considering the fact that she has a lot of self-confidence issues, and has struggled socially at school, I am extremely proud of her. It is not so much being top, it is overcoming the fact that she felt she couldn’t do something, but stuck at it and proved that she could!

http://www.writingtimes.co.uk/Websites/writingtimes/images/raft.jpg

Episode 402: All At Sea!

July 3, 2015/Judy E Martin/33 Comments

Everyone loves an adventurer. Someone who is not afraid to take a few risks, uses a bit of initiative, and laughs in the face of their critics knowing that they have what it takes to succeed. Not so this senseless sailor from Dorset.

The un-named 35 year old decided that he would rather like to start off small, and take a three mile trip from Milford, Hants to the Isle of Wight. So far, so intrepid! However, he was slightly unprepared for the voyage ahead. He decided that he did not need such extravagances such as a radio, a life-jacket or some flares. Oh no, he was confident that he had everything he needed on his boat for this mini-expedition.

The ‘boat’ (actually quite a loose term for this contraption) was made up of an old door, a clothes horse, a few bits of polystyrene (well it needs to float), a parasol and windbreak (well you have got to have a bit of shelter out on the open seas, as it could get a bit chilly with all that sea spray) all held together with a bit of ancient washing line! Oh, and not forgetting a tea-light lantern (with a couple of extra tea-lights just in case), for navigation.

Unfortunately but not surprisingly, things started to go wrong for this madcap mariner when he tried to put the parasol up and the whole contraption broke to bits in the sea. Luckily there was quite a bit of wreckage strewn about in the Solent, and he had something to cling onto. Also a beachcomber heard his frantic cries for help and called the coastguard.

He was rescued after having spent 40 minutes in the freezing water suffering from shock and hypothermia (considering he was just wearing shorts and T-shirt)!

Back to the drawing board I think!

Free-For-All Friday: #18

July 3, 2015/Judy E Martin/13 Comments

It’s Friday!! We are in the midst of a heatwave over in the good old UK, so it’s hot, hot, hot!

I have found a few great blogs for you to peruse this week (unfortunately, time has been a bit limited so there are not as many as I would like). I still have 2 wonderful stories for you, one hilarious experience we can all relate to, and a very witty observation.

Smorgasbord. This was really beautiful and touching story, that was told in such a wonderful way, it really came to life.

Homemade Naturally As you know I love a bit of Flash Fiction and I thought this was a clever take on the photo prompt!

Barrow Blogs This post form one of Judith’ s Creative Writing students had me wiping the tears from my eyes with laughter. It is something most of us can relate to as well.

Dandelion Fuzz This list is very funny and observational. I love Kat’s style of writing and sense of humour.

So there you have a few little treasures to unearth over the weekend. All of these blogs are worth checking out as they each have so much more to them than the posts I have chosen for this week.

Happy Friday!

http://www.wackystock.com/details/6202-woman-sweating-while-skipping-and-dancing-at-the-gym-clipart-picture-by-djart-at-wackystock.jpg

Episode 401: Sweating it Out!

July 2, 2015/Judy E Martin/44 Comments

Well, I knew it wouldn’t last. I can’t stop myself (I think it is too far embedded into my genes), I am going to have to moan about the weather! Yes, I should be grateful that we have seen quite a bit of sunshine, and that it is lovely and hot. The problem is, we are not used to it!

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far here in good old England, but luckily I didn’t have to work so could wear what I wanted and also do what I wanted. Last night, however, the temperature did not decrease by much and it was stifling hot and muggy. I ended up trying to sleep with the fan whirring on full blast and an ice pack! Bearing in mind, I am also at ‘that age’ when ladies get a little more flushed at certain times! I thought I was going to spontaneously combust!

This morning dawns another hot day, but cooler as it was only 28 Celsius (about 82 Fahrenheit). I reluctantly donned my thick cotton uniform and tights, plus clumpy shoes and bloody stupid belt to go to work.

As I walked onto the ward the heat hit me like a slap in the face! Great, putting on latex gloves and plastic aprons is going to make a lovely addition to my already boiled body (thank God the patients allowed us to open the windows so we could let a bit of (hot) air in!

Luckily for me I had to go off the ward for my annual top up resus training, in a room with air conditioning! Bliss! Well it was for 5 minutes until we had to pummel the dummy back to life with frantic CPR. Pretty exhausting stuff.

Anyway, I hot-foot it back to the ward for another face smacking dose of heat, only to discover the boss wants to take some photos as we all have to have our pictures up on the board outside the ward (presumably to terrify those not too ill to care)! At first I was a bit put out as I thought it would be better off being taken first thing in the morning but in this heat it makes no difference anyway.

So imagine this, a relative comes to see their poorly elderly relative, decides to have a look at which staff may happen to be looking after them, and sees my picture. Ruddy faced, ghastly grimace (we were told to smile) hair plastered to the head, and sweat dripping. Professional is not the word!

You’d run a bloody mile, talking your relative with you!

http://ak1.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-thing/size/l/tid/46899603.jpg

Episode 400: One-Liner Wednesday.

July 1, 2015/Judy E Martin/24 Comments

‘I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.’

Short and sweet, but oh so true. Laughter can be so infectious.

This post is inspired by LindaGHill

http://rookiesfirstguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/dilapidatedhouse-300x200.jpg

Episode 399: Wacky Word Wednesday #8

July 1, 2015/Judy E Martin/44 Comments

It’s Wednesday, time to have a bit of fun with a wacky, weird or wonderful word (or perhaps all three)! It’s going to be a sizzling hot day today apparently, but I have decided not to get all hot and bothered with a raunchy word. No, I am going to keep things cool, with a great word that has an almost comedic ring to it.

Ramshackle. This is a bit of a rundown and rickety word; dilapidated and derelict, like an old ruin, crumbling and collapsing, teetering and tottering on the brink of breaking down into tiny fragments.

It is flimsy and frail, wobbly and worn-out, neglected and quite frankly knackered! Actually it sounds a lot like me! 🙂

https://desiretoexpress.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/freestyle-writing-challenge-logo.jpg?w=440&h=274

Episode 396. Freestyle Writing Challenge #3

June 29, 2015/Judy E Martin/26 Comments

Thanks to the lovely Erika who has nominated me to take part in another Freestyle Challenge. I really enjoy doing these as it is interesting to see which way your mind is going to wander given the time pressures and topic you are given.

The rules are:

Open a blank document.
Set a stop watch timer to 5 or 10 minutes, whichever length you prefer.
Your topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH YOUR TIMER!!!

My best vacation ever. this was the topic given to me by Erika.

I think for this one, I will go back to when I was 13 years old and the first time I had ever been on holiday abroad. It was actually a German exchange trip that my school was participating in. We had students over here from our twin town in Germany for two weeks. They would stay in our homes, and come to school with us, really just becoming a part of our family. We would then go back to Germany with them and do the same.

As I remember it, I was both excited and nervous. My exchange student was a lovely girl and we got on really well. I remember the first time seeing the pretty little village where she lived. All of the houses were different and seemed huge. Everyone knew each other and they were all very friendly to me.

The first morning I woke up over there I walked into the glass doors leading to the balcony as I didn’t realise they were there! I was very reluctant to eat the food as well, as I was very fussy in my youth and didn’t even like eating in front of people then. I had no choice though as they all sat around the dining table to eat and everyone helped themselves from large bowls of food on the table. I particularly remember the home made strawberry mousse her mother made as I did like that! Of course I managed to dollop some of it onto the prisitine table cloth whilst serving myself!

It was great going to visit her friends in the evenings, I was introduced to Frank Zappa and Camel cigarettes which even now, always reminds me of those carefree days sitting around a record player, smoking, (They all seemed to have large rooms or basements in their houses where their parents didn’t disturb them)!

Word count 315.

Time 10 minutes

My nominees are: (Should you wish to accept it)

Your topic is

My first love!

I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Episode 396: In The Doghouse!

June 28, 2015/Judy E Martin/32 Comments

Well although I was working today and knew that I would be up very early, I did not intend on getting up quite as early as 4:30!

Roxy, like all of the females in this house is a bit of a klutz! This morning was no exception, as she fell off the bed landing with a thud, that jolted both me and Mr Grump awake. Not only that but she managed to get herself entangled in the power cord from my hair straighteners, that were hanging on the shelf of our 3ft high mirror on the wall by the side of the bed (yes, that was the wall NOT the ceiling, Cat)!

Anyway as she ran forward she tugged the cable which yanked the mirror off the wall completely, sending it crashing to the floor with a huge bang! Thank God Roxy had got out of the way and the mirror didn’t smash either.

Needless to say, I was wide awake by then and got up. Roxy got an extra hour sleep in before she got taken out for her walk! She was not my favourite doggy this morning!

http://www.hy-techpc.com/man%20hitting%20comp.jpg

Episode 395: Mr Grump’s Computer Rage!

June 27, 2015/Judy E Martin/41 Comments

Mr Grump doesn’t usually work on Fridays, so for him the weekend starts after work on Thursday afternoon. He quite often has a beer or five, and then the inevitable music comes on. As we like the same kind of music (and Miss Hap was brought up on it), it is enjoyed by us all.

Now back in the good old days, we had CD players, record players, ghetto blasters etc, but now we have various music channels (too many adverts though interrupting the flow), and the trusty PC, the Jack of all trades.

Now Mr Grump had painstakingly burned disc after disc of his favourite tracks onto the PC, and had built up a huge library of entertainment which he is particularly proud of. When anyone comes round for a party he will flick through his many and varied tunes to set the mood, and if it is just us here, he will play all his old favourites.

Not this Thursday night though. He decided the computer was too slow, so it must have a virus and would need to be restored. Needless to say, I had to go and do it, which I did. Still not right, so we decided to restore it from the backup discs we had previously created. I did that for him (reluctantly now as I was getting fed up).

All I could hear was heavy sighing, cursing and swearing after it had set up, it appears he had forgotten his password for his e-mail which he used to just sign into automatically, and God forbid, could not get into his library of music! I was cross by now so went to bed as I had work the next day.

Yesterday evening. He picked me up from work as he does on a Friday and then went off to meet a friend for a ‘quick pint’ at the local pub. My younger sister was coming round to help me colour my hair, and we decided to fire up the barbie for dinner.

My sister and brother-in-law arrived with their labrador, hungry and short of time, (in fact my BIL had to perform at a gig a short time later and had to leave in about half an hour). Mr Grump turned up, a few mins later and got the food on the go.

As he couldn’t play his music, the TV (plus extra loud speakers he had connected to it) blasted out the vintage years selections at ear-splitting volume whilst we sat eating our food, vibrating with the bass!

Luckily for Miss Hap she had a school disco to go to, and BIL dropped her off on his way leaving just the three of us, My sister did my hair, whilst Mr Grump fiddled about on the PC trying to get some thing to work, anything to work! He was locked out of Facebook as well as he couldn’t remember his password. Luckily I knew it so at least he could get on there!

When My sister left, Mr Grump was nagging me to help him again. I asked for another e-mail address to send recovery details to, he couldn’t remember the password for that one either and gave mine! Meanwhile the PC ‘wasn’t letting him do anything at all now’ so he gave up dejected and we went to bed.

This morning I set the bloody thing back to factory settings! I guessed the password combination for the other e-mail and got him back into everything. Of course his musical library will have to be built up again from scratch!

Thank God I am working tomorrow. (I never usually say that when I have to work on a Sunday)!

Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Category: humour

Episode 404: New Experiences.

Episode 403: Proud Mummy!

Episode 402: All At Sea!

Episode 401: Sweating it Out!

Episode 400: One-Liner Wednesday.

Episode 399: Wacky Word Wednesday #8

Episode 396. Freestyle Writing Challenge #3

Episode 396: In The Doghouse!

Episode 395: Mr Grump’s Computer Rage!

Follow Blog via Email

Translate

This is me!

Judy E Martin

Top Posts & Pages

Blogs I Follow

Thanks for visiting

Lates Blog Posts

RSS

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Follow Blog via Email

Translate

This is me!

Top Posts & Pages

Blogs I Follow

Thanks for visiting

Lates Blog Posts

RSS