Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 300: Life’s Little Niggles. — April 22, 2015

Episode 300: Life’s Little Niggles.

Today I was just having a ponder on the little niggles in life that drive me mad. You know the kind of thing, I am off today and yet I am not feeling very well, not to mention the fact that some strange spot thing has appeared under my eye. This has swollen the bags under my eye so that I look pretty horrendous! Anyway here are more of my little annoyances.

  • Why is it that when you try to show somebody how to do something, you bugger it up regardless of how many times you have done it faultlessly before?
  • Why is it that on the rare occasions we get visitors, the bloody phone doesn’t stop ringing?!
  • Why do I always break a nail just when I have got them all the same length?
  • Why am I the only person in the house who refills the loo roll when it runs out?
  • How comes someone who looks the same build as me is two sizes smaller?
  • Why is it that my dog adores Mr Grump and virtually ignores me? (Little floozie)!
  • Why can’t I learn how to do fancy braids in my hair, despite watching numerous tutorials?
  • Why have I got the only child that looks like she has been dragged through a hedge backwards before she even gets to school?
  • Why can’t I be one of those people who eat like a bird, rather than a horse?
  • Why can’t I make a sandwich without making a mess?

I suppose life would be boring if everything were perfect; it would  be nice to try it for a day though!

Episode 296: Blog Feed! — April 19, 2015

Episode 296: Blog Feed!

Well today is the last day of the Easter holidays and it’s back to work tomorrow after two weeks off. It has been so nice to have this time off, especially as the weather has been pretty kind as well, on the whole.

The one thing I will miss though is being able to spend more time on my blogging. I have been able to feed my blogging addiction quite a lot over the last two weeks, and instead of my hunger being sated, I find that my appetite has grown!

I am actually going to have to use the ‘schedule’ button a bit more than I normally do as I like to write ‘off the cuff’ about whatever takes my fancy. It is odd to  think though that before September last year when I started this blog, I had never done any sort of writing as such.

I have always loved poems, and little ditties which I still like to do now, along with a newfound extra; I have discovered the Haiku (thanks to dear Hugh and Ronovan).They are also pretty fun to do, although as there are rules with them, they require a bit more thought (stretching my poor brain to the limit)!

Given my love of words, and being such a prolific reader as well, it is odd that I never really considered writing before. Mind you, it probably has a lot to do with confidence really, as my idea of people who wrote, were either of scholarly types, locked away in the attic for hours scribbling frantically, or of the bright and funny young women bashing away at a temperamental typewriter knocking out their latest ‘bonkbuster!’

Obviously, I fit into neither of those categories, nor do I have anything specific that I like to write about, apart from the fact that I do prefer to have some sort of humour running through it. Perhaps that is why I have become addicted to blogging. It seems to fit with me perfectly, because not only can I write to my heart’s content, I also get to interact with other bloggers too. That for me is the main course and the dessert!

Episode 295: What’s In a Name? — April 18, 2015

Episode 295: What’s In a Name?

As many of you know, my name is not actually Edwina, it is Judy. I used Edwina due to wanting to remain anonymous when I first started out in blogging (all of 7 months ago). At the beginning of this year I decided  I was brave enough to use my own name.but I have kept the blog name the same as I like it, and some people still address me as Edwina anyway which is fine by me.

I am pretty partial to giving little pet names to some of my family members anyway – even my mum! I call her ‘Peg’ and have done for many years as I thought her teeth looked like pegs! Not very nice I know, but she doesn’t mind, even when ex-boyfriends have mistakenly called her it, thinking it was her name!

Miss Hap I call ‘Beauty’ or ‘Cinderella!’ She hates it when I dare to do it in front of her friends, but she is my little princess and that is that! The poor dog gets called ‘Roxy Roo’ or ‘Poxy’ by my elder sister! Mind you I call her ‘Willow’ after ‘Willow The Wisp!’ My daughter calls her ‘Gingerella’ or ‘Aunty Ginger’ for obvious reasons!

Mr Grump I normally call ‘hub’ or ‘Victor’ when he is crabby (after Victor Meldrew), along with ‘Mr Selfishness’  when he dares to buy himself anything (especially if he hasn’t got me anything)!

Yes I love nicknames. My nieces both over 25 years old, still get called ‘Buffle’ and ‘Boof’! Silly little made-up names that I thought suited them when they were little! One of my nephews I named ‘plumptious’ (he is 23)!

Do you like your name or do you use a nick name?

Episode 291: Lost For Words — April 16, 2015

Episode 291: Lost For Words

As many of you know, I really love words and the fun that can be had with them. However, as you get older (so I’m told), you might have a bit of job trying to remember a particular word that you were searching for.

How many of us have said,

“Can you pass me that…….thingummyjig’ or  perhaps  ” where is the …….oojamaflip?” Where on earth do these silly words come from? I know I often resort to ‘do-dah’ when I can’t find the word I need.

My step-father had a broad West Country accent and he would often say something like,

“Go and get the wha’s call it for I, only it sounded more like wascot! He also had a lovely way of getting words mixed up as in ‘every Dick, Tom and Harry’  or better still, “pass I thick Amber Solamber, will thee?” Now of course he meant the Ambre Solaire suntan lotion. Bless him, he always took it in good part when we laughed!

Mr Grump is another one who can’t recall what he wants to say (well he is even older than I am), and will refer to things as a ‘gizmo’ or ‘dooberry firkin.’

It’s funny though as most of these words we resort to when we can’t think of the right one, are probably about three times as long!

Episode 289: Facebook Friends – or Foes? — April 15, 2015

Episode 289: Facebook Friends – or Foes?

Having a baby is such a life-changing experience. You can’t wait to meet your little bundle and as soon as they are born, you oooh and aaaah over every little milestone, especially if they are your first. In this age of social networking, you can record and document everything for the benefit of your family and friends so they don’t miss out either.

How would you feel then if you received an anonymous letter through the post from some of your ‘friends’ slagging you off for your excessive Facebook posting? This is what happened to one poor Australian Mum.

Apparently, a group of her so-called fiends had got together and had written (or should I say typed. this was anonymous after all) to her telling her that they were fed up with her constantly posting pictures of her little girl. The said hurtful things like ‘they didn’t care that she was able to crawl on the carpet.’

They were also sick of the little girl modelling outfits that she had been given as gifts, telling her mother that she should ‘ send the person who sent the gift a private photo of her wearing it, rather than plastering it all over Facebook.

They also told this Aussie mum that they would be glad when she goes back to work so that she won’t have as much time to post as many pictures of her daughter online. These people, don’t forget, were supposed to be her friends! 

However, this mum had a good friend who happened to be a comedienne with a load of Facebook followers. She sent the nasty note to her who posted it on her own page with a little message explaining how this ‘took bitching to a whole new level.’

Who needs friends like these?!

Episode 286: Multicoloured Madness! — April 14, 2015

Episode 286: Multicoloured Madness!

Over here in the UK we have got a bit of Election Fever going on.  In less than a month we will be casing our votes for the next Prime Minister and their government to take up residence, and all of the major parties are spouting off about the miraculous things they are going to change, or introduce.

One parliamentary candidate decided that it would be a great idea for people who  suffer from mental health problems, to wear some sort of coloured wristband according to their conditions.This was mentioned by her at a debate to keep the NHS public; she thought it might help professionals to identify conditions that mentally ill people might not be able to convey to them otherwise!

She has managed to offend quite a few people by this outrageous suggestion, not least because people with mental health conditions tend to already be stigmatised, or pre-judged in some way. There is still quite a lack of understanding and ignorance surrounding mental health, and decorating people with an array of different coloured wristbands is just like branding them as ‘unclean’ or something!

I suffer from depression myself (as it happens today is not a great day for me), and I don’t think I want to be walking about with an accessory that identifies me as having a mental illness. I am not ashamed of it, or anything, but there is far too much discrimination  as it is, due to ignorance. To broadcast to all and sundry that you have one or more of these conditions is setting yourself up for yet more problems!

Do you agree with the wearing of wristbands for mental health sufferers?

Episode 285: Wacky Wedding Cakes! — April 13, 2015

Episode 285: Wacky Wedding Cakes!

Planning a wedding can be quite a traumatic affair (trust me on this one, I have had a lot of experience here)! There is the dress, the flowers, the venue …..well, I could go on and on here, but you get the picture.

One of the centrepiece of a lovely wedding has got to be the cake. Some people have huge, fancy cakes with numerous tiers, others have lots of chocolate cup cakes. There are so many wonderful cakes that capture the spirit of the occasion.

It is also quite a pivotal moment when the bride and groom get to cut the cake. Everyone gathers around to watch the symbolic act, and it is always an opportunity to take a nice photo…..unless of course, they have chosen a creepy clown for their choice of confectionery!

This reminds me of the character from ‘It’ the Stephen King book that scared me to death (I am a terrible wimp)! I am not sure that I want to be tucking into someone’s brain, or poking their eye out with my fork. It seems a bit savage for my liking!

I know that for many couples the cake means something to them both, and I am all for the sentiment ‘Till death do us part,’ but some people take it a little to literally!

I have found a few more bizarre wedding cake pics here that makes me wonder what the hell the future is going to hold for these ‘happy

 

!’weddingcakegross

 

 

 

 

 

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Episode 283: Sisters — April 12, 2015

Episode 283: Sisters

A sister is a good friend

Who knows you very well

A sister is a confidante

To whom secrets you can tell

A sister is a shoulder

To cry on when you’re sad

A sister is a comfort

For when things turn out bad

A sister is a treasure

More precious than pure gold

A sister can be relied on

Whatever the future holds

A sister will support you

In all you say and so

A sister is a Godsend

And lucky me to have two!

Episode 281: Horsing Around! — April 11, 2015

Episode 281: Horsing Around!

After the beautiful weather yesterday we had decided that we would have a BBQ today and invite the family over. We had tidied up the garden in preparation and were going out today to get the necessary supplies needed to feed a family of ‘good eaters!’

This morning I actually got up late for me and still felt tired. Mr Grump had already been out to walk the dog and I hadn’t even heard him get up. I went downstairs and looked out to see it was raining, and cold, and according to Mr Grump windy as well, Now I know this is typical British BBQ weather, but we decided that we would cancel it for another day.

Shopping still had to be done, so we finally got around to doing that after we had put our bets on for the ‘Grand National!’ Now we never usually do any betting here except for this one-off occasion. Usually some of the family like to gather together to watch it as we all have a go, and cheer on our horses.

My younger sister was going to come up and watch it with us, so we decided to put some bits on the BBQ anyway as her husband would come after work. Of course, because we had cancelled it the weather perked up a bit, but it was too late by then to get everyone to come.

Between us all we had a good few horses in the race to cheer on, but there were 20 fallers this year which is pretty awful really. Anyway, as our horses went one by one, out of the race, near the end the 2 of the ones Miss Hap picked were still in, one of mine and one of my sister’s. Needless to say mine so close to winning suddenly came 5th, my sister’s 4th and Miss Hap’s 3rd. She always picks the best horses every year.

Next year I will choose the same horses as her, as my technique of choosing horses with catchy names or pretty coloured jackets isn’t cutting it!

Episode 280: Sunny Seaside. —

Episode 280: Sunny Seaside.

Well what a beautiful day we had today. The weather was surprisingly mild for April and following on from yesterday’s spring clean, I ‘persuaded’ Mr Grump to venture into the airing cupboard (with step-ladder) and get out my summer curtains. Yes, that is how optimistic I was feeling!

Mr Grump had also been bitten by the Spring Fever bug as he decided that it would be great to have a family BBQ tomorrow, so we sent out invites (via text of course), and set about the job of tidying up the garden.

A bit of scrubbing and maneuvering later and everything looked shipshape and ready for tomorrow, It was glorious to feel the sun on my back as I was outside in just a little vest top.It certainly makes me feel better when I see a bit of sunshine.

Around lunchtime we decided to hit the coast which is only a few miles away. It was so warm down there (even with the sea breeze) that we still didn’t need a coat. There were even 2 very brave little girls in the sea in swimming cossies. The dog and Miss Hap both wimped out of going in, although Miss Hap did stick her toe in!

Of course, being at the seaside you have got to have an ice cream (well if you are a child certainly), and Miss Hap had a double 99! I was going to get some chips but did not see any, so had a pancake instead! I had cheese garlic and it nearly blew my head off. God knows how much he put in there but it was at least 2 raw cloves. I must have stunk the car out on the way home, as I was the only one to have it. I felt a bit queasy myself as I kept getting a whiff of it!

We came home then called in on my younger sister (Mrs Masterchef) and her husband (Mr Musician) plus my niece was there (Ms Beauty).They were burning some garden rubbish so we sat outside around the fire until way after dark, before going indoors for a sing-song.

What a gorgeous day. It really does seem like spring is on its way!

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