2015-03-10T20:44:48+00:00

Episode 211: Get it Write!

March 10, 2015/Judy E Martin/23 Comments

You may remember that I wrote about that poor woman who had the eyebrow tattoos which were absolutely awful here well I have recently heard about someone else who has just had a tattoo he rather regrets!

Now most of us love a good song! Yes music can really define us, it can be the soundtrack to our lives; there is that one song that just says it all for us. When I find a song like that I will play it to death until I get sick of it and ,move on to something else.

That is not enough for some people though. Oh no! They need to go and get the name of the song, or the line or perhaps a verse tattooed permanently on their body (so they don’t forget the words when they are old perhaps). They might even go the whole hog and get the artist/band/group name etched into their skin as well, for good measure.

I have nothing at all against tattoos, I even have one (not too big, as it is too bloody painful) myself. Plus Mr Grump has quite a few, one of them, with my name on, so I do rather like them.

However, if you are going to get something as a permanent tribute to your favourite song by your favourite band then for Christ’s sake, get it right! Check that the tattooist has understood exactly what you want otherwise you could end up with one like the poor guy on my picture!

I prefer Slack Babbath myself!

Photo credit. featureworld.co.uk

Episode 208: Raising Eyebrows!

March 9, 2015/Judy E Martin/33 Comments

Sometimes it is hard work being a woman, you want to look your best as much as you can, especially when you are young. The first thing most people normally notice is your face and therefore it is important to give the right impression……

I know what a pain it is to pluck my eyebrows, All that eye watering, not to mention the pain when you accidentally tweeze a small chunk out of your skin, and are left with a nice little mark. Worse still is if you decide to get them ‘waxed’ or ‘threaded’ professionally.

Although the end result is usually worth it, the actual process is bloody painful. (Yes I am a wimp)! Out of the two threading was, for me, the worst! To add insult to injury (in both cases) I was left with swollen and bright red eyes (although perfectly shaped brows) for about 15 mins!

Anyway, one young woman decided that she didn’t want t o keep going through the pain and hassle of constantly grooming her brows, so she decided to do something about it! She went to a local salon to get her brows tattooed for the knock-down price of £100.

She did still have her old ones in place when the works was carried out as a kind of guide to where the tattoo should go. However, the ‘beautician’ (I use that term very loosely) decided to ignore that and raise the bar a bit!

Once the natural brows had been shaved off, the poor recipient was left looking rather surprised (well so would you if your eyebrows were as high as hers were, There was simply no choice)!

She has spent quite a lot of money to try and get them covered over to no avail. This poor woman can’t seem to get rid of them. not only that, she still has to constantly shave off her natural brows as if she leaves them to grow, she appears to have four eyebrows which is little bit creepy.

Two years on and she has grown her natural eyebrows back, However, the tattoos are still there just carefully concealed by makeup. I don’t think I will mind too much plucking my brows after reading this!

Episode 207: It’s All About Me!!!

March 9, 2015/Judy E Martin/11 Comments

Well today is all about me! As if you haven’t had enough of me already, my task for Blogging 101 today is to have an ‘irresistible About Me page.’ Hmmm, i have already messed about with my ‘About Me’ page, having updated it several times. I think for now I might just leave it alone. However, if I get a load of feedback telling me that it is rubbish then I will try to tweak it a bit. I know it is all about selling ourselves but I am very aware that ‘you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!’

I think my ‘About Me’ page pretty much sums me up. I am someone who feels that we all need a bi of laughter in our lives. It can get pretty tough sometimes, pressures put upon us, high expectations that might be difficult to live up to, plus the normal ups and downs of everyday life. We just need to take a step back, sometimes and try to see the funny side of things.

That doesn’t mean bursting out laughing at inopportune moments (not recommended, I have been on the end of may a dirty look for this crime), no, it just means reflecting back on a situation, and instead of cringing at some stupid thing you said or did, just laugh about it. After all, there is nothing you can do about it, so instead of stewing on it, make fun of it, or yourself!

I am not one to want to draw attention to myself, but being the way I am it happens. I have been at work walking back to my ward after coming out of the loos only to be told,

“You’ve got your dress tucked into your knickers!” Nice! Cringe, red face, look around to see who saw, frantically try to remember what knickers I have on and have been showing to all and sundry, are they decent ones? (chances are they will be ”work’ ones)! Why do people have to shout these kind of things out after you thereby alerting everyone to your plight? Honestly!

So, I have decided that laughing about things really is the best way to deal with it, None of us are perfect, some of us are less so,especially me, BUT I do have one saving grace. I love words and telling little anecdotes and stories. what a perfect combination. I can and do write about all my little ‘episodes’ in my blog. Sometimes I even drag my family into it. (Mostly with their permission)!

Episode 206: Sing-A-Long Sunday

March 8, 2015/Judy E Martin/12 Comments

I do love those off-the-cuff days, where you have nothing planned as such, and things take an unexpected but really pleasant turn…..

My younger sister (Mrs Masterchef) phoned and asked Mr Grump if he had some tools, as she had a new water-butt that needed installing, and as the weather was glorious again today, it was ideal to do the job. Her husband (Mr Musician) is not renown for his DIY skills and we were invited to their house so that Mr Grump (who is very handy) could help if necessary.

Miss Hap was visiting nanny and playing with friends there so didn’t come with us, I had decided that i would wear my lovely high heels to match my outfit that wasn’t black (for once). Anyway once we got there and saw them in their wellies and working clothes I felt a bit over-dressed teetering about in my clod-hoppers!

I made myself comfortable out in the sun and left Mrs Masterchef and Mr Grump grappling with a standpipe and a hacksaw, and Mr Musician at the very top of the garden digging it over, and pulling out huge roots that had more meat on them than he did!

I did occasionally wander over to see how they were getting on fitting the water butt and cringed when i saw a hairline crack had appeared in one of the fittings, after a bit of manhandling by Mr Grump. Time for a cup of tea I think! All of them were on the booze so I put the kettle on for myself, but spilt water all over the worktop as the lid came off the water jug.

Once the work was done and they had tidied up, Mr Musician went to get his guitar for a bit of a sing-along. I love these occasions, as both he and my sister have fantastic voices, and they sing so well together too. Myself and Mr Grump decided to lower the tone a bit and we crooned along. I thought we all did a brilliant version of ‘Dreadlock Holiday’ that 10cc would have enjoyed.

By this time the high heels that were killing my feet had been kicked off, and Mrs Masterchef’s fluffy bootie type slippers put on. One of the advantages of being in the company of family (especially when they are the same shoe size)!

Time went all too quickly before we needed to go home to have dinner and prepare for work and school tomorrow, I just love those kind of chilled days, enjoying the company of family. Oh and as an added bonus; since I have given up smoking my voice is not as croaky as before, and I occasionally even hit the right note!

Episode 203: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon…..

March 7, 2015/Judy E Martin/10 Comments

What a glorious day today was! It was so sunny, and reasonably warm as well. I had already decided that I wanted to change my logo picture on my blog, so me, Mr Grump and Miss Hap set off to a lovely little village nearby to get some photos.

The pictures we took were of a traditional phone box (I like the one I had in the pic before but it was a stock photo and I wanted my own) which is situated right next to an old well. To me the phone box is quintessentially British, plus it is all about communication, both of which depicts me!

Anyway, we got a lovely load of photos and only a few strange looks (it was obvious we were not tourists, plus we were taking pictures of a phone box with mobile phones, which probably struck people as odd!

Next stop boring shopping which actually killed some of my good mood, I hate grocery shopping on Saturdays at the best of times. What makes me really cross is when I am looking for something on the shelves and someone plonks a great big foot right into my personal space, then follows it up with the rest of their body so we are almost nose to nose! Bugger off out of it, why don’t you!

On the way home I spoke to Mr Grump about maybe calling in on a nice pub to sit outside and enjoy the weather perhaps with a spot of lunch to go with it. we decided to drop the shopping in first, and as we turned into our road, we saw some odd woman waving madly at us to go first even though it was her right of way. Once we got home we realised this car was right behind us, and the mad woman was in fact my sister-in-law in her lovely new car!

It was so nice to see her and have a gossip and a catch up. She decided not to come with us as she had errands to do, We finished our cuppa then headed off to the pub in a little village a couple of miles away where my niece and her fiance were .

It was glorious there, we sat in the garden right next to the river which was populated with trout and other assorted fish.The sun was warm and bright, and there were quite a few families also enjoying the unexpected sunshine. It was by now quite a bit past lunchtime and myself and Miss Hap were starving so Mr Grump ordered some food for us.

After a while, I was greeted by the most enormous ham sandwich I had ever seen! Each slab of bread much have been an inch thick, containing a good quarter of a pound of hand-carved ham! A generous portion of dressed salad and (what seemed like) a whole packet of crisps completed the meal! Wow! Finally a place that does my kind of portions!

A couple of very pleasant hours ensued until my poor frozen body could take it no longer and it was time to go, (After all, it is still only March)! Yes spring is just around the corner!

Episode 202: Spring into Action!

March 7, 2015/Judy E Martin/17 Comments

Ahhh, spring is in the air. I do so love the fleeting, tantalising glimpses of sunshine that have been coming out to play, off and on. I love the daffodils that are just starting to bud, breaking the monotony of the brown landscape that is all around (that reminds me to chuck out the daffodils in the vase on the kitchen window sill as they have gone a bit brown and crispy now)!

I love the fact that I might be able to hang my washing outside on the line, and see it waving gently in the breeze (I do hope the weather doesn’t change before the washing cycle ends) as opposed to hanging limply in the shade all day only to be wetter when I take it in than when I hung it out!

I can’t wait to be able to wear less clothes, and not have to bother taking a coat. (Well, that is always a risk in England, even during the height of summer). Mind you, summer clothes means more skin exposed, which also means, I hope this bloody diet kicks in soon, and the weight drops off (I wish), so that I am all slim and lovely in my pretty summer dresses.(I can’t expect miracles, I know)!

I am looking forward to Mr Grump planting all sorts of things for us enjoy over the summer. (Well the rhubarb takes care of itself, the herbs have all gone a bit wild and woody over the winter, and pumpkins aren’t ready until the autumn!

He does so love to be pottering about in the garden; cursing and swearing as he tries to repair the fence (again) that has been swaying perilously during the winter, held up by popping heavy plant pots against it, and attaching one end to the shed with a carabiner. He loves the fact that the garden is slopey and therefore quite squidgy in places where it is waterlogged!

And for the big finale! The good old ‘Spring Clean’! Oh yes, this is the time of year that we all love. The poor house is quaking in its foundations at the thought of being strip-washed and exposed, whilst being scrubbed, polished and buffed into submission!

Ahh yes, I love the spring!

Episode 200: World Book Grey!

March 6, 2015/Judy E Martin/8 Comments

World Book Day.. Oh how I remember when my daughter was in primary school and we had to try to think up a costume which depicted a character from a famous book (as the name implies). We did manage to participate every year (thanks mainly to good old eBay for the costumes), but it is not easy when you have very little time to prepare or no clue who to dress your child up as.

Not a problem for the mother of one 11-year-old boy. Well it’s pretty obvious isn’t it? I mean what child hasn’t read good old ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’! Yes that’s right, she sent her son to school dressed as Christian Grey! Oh, and just to complement the natty suit, he took along a couple of cable ties as well! Nice! All of his friends instantly knew who he was as well.

Understandably, the school were not enamoured with his choice, and pointed out to his mother (who amazingly is a primary school teacher)in a rather terse phone call. Explaining that the school had certain standards of behaviour that students were expected to conform to, and that dressing as someone who enjoys indulging in a bit of BDSM now and again is not the calibre of person one of their students should aspire to emulating!

Not only that, but they were not intending to introduce this kind of literature (I use the term very loosely here), into the school curriculum just yet! Their aim to ‘encourage children to read more’ might have to be a little better defined, as this young lad had done just that!

Episode 198: You Know You Are Past It When……

March 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/18 Comments

You forgot what you did yesterday and it wasn’t due to an over-indulgence of alcohol! I like to keep a diary which I have done for years. The problem is when I go to write it up, sometimes I forget what I have done and have to try to work my way backwards to jog my memory!
Instead of having a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ you end up nodding off! You know the scene, you have got the house to yourselves, a good couple of hours of undisturbed time alone to do whatever you want…..so you fall asleep on the settee!
The only time you wear something ‘trendy’ it is accidental. You are at that stage now where comfort is a must; forget fashion, you want practical! So when you do put on something that is trendy, it is more likely that after 20 years it is finally back in fashion!
You still talk about ‘records’,’discos’ and ‘going to the pictures’. Most of the youth of today do not know what a record is, and have never had the pleasure of listening to their favourite song jumping about all over the place where the record had become scratched or warped! Kids don’t go to discos (unless it is the school disco for some reason), they go to clubs (well at least I think so as I am way old to frequent such places)! I still talk about ‘going to the pictures to see a film.’ No, that is old hat. It is called a MOVIE. Pah!
You type out a text message in full. Now I am pretty ‘with it’ I know an emoticon when I see one, and I can even do a smiley face. However, I do not understand all this shorthand typing the young favour when sending a text. Even worse is the lack of punctuation! Really!
You are getting ready to go to bed when the young are just getting ready to go out for the night! You know what it’s like….you got up early….work was busy…you are shattered, and end up in bed no later than 10pm! Now for young people the night is just getting started at 10pm. They have had a few drinks,and in ready to have a good time. When you are getting up early the next morning (another sign of being past-it), they are just falling into their beds!
You are always reminiscing about the ‘old days’! Yes things were so much better back then of course. Life was rosy and we never got bored! However, when you constantly harp on about the glory days to your kids, their glazed eyes soon tell you that they are bored, and you are past it!

Episode 195: Doncha Wish Your Husband Has A Bum Like Me?

March 4, 2015/Judy E Martin/21 Comments

Don’t you just hate commercials?! They interrupt your favourite tv programme, and are just plain annoying! In fact some of them really get me riled up and I end up shouting at the telly! (I’m turning into my Nan already, and that is not good)!

However, there is one advert at the moment that I just really love, It is so bizarre that, even after about a month, I still love it when it comes on. Now, just to set the scene a bit, you may remember that I complained about Mr Grump not having any sort of a bum here. Well, meet Dave! He has got a bum to be proud of and he’s not afraid to strut it!

Now most women have a bit of a job trotting about in high heels (it ends up more like teetering), but Dave can strut in his! Oh yes, I am more than a little envious that he can even walk in these massive skyscraper heels that he wears, when I wouldn’t even be able to stand in them!

Anyway, Dave with his heels and bum strutting to ‘Dontcha’ by the Pussycat Dolls is in my book a recipe for success and if you don’t believe me, then check this out!

British Summertime!

Episode 193: The Best Of British!

March 3, 2015/Judy E Martin/26 Comments

Us Brits are a breed apart you know. We have our own little ways that make us stand out from the crowd. We may be a small little island, but we know how to make our make on the world! This is the kind of thing that puts the’ Great’ into Great Britain.

You can tell a Brit on holiday a mile off. We are the ones that are burned to a deep shade of lobster red, on the vast expanse of exposed skin we have on display. Why bother with suncream? We are determined to get a tan and we don’t go in for sunblock,Oh no, that is for sissies!
Similarly the Brit abroad is going to seek out the only English cafe/pub around so that they can continue to eat the kind of food that they are used to, Why would they want to try the local cuisine and experience something new when they can get fish and chips and a pint of lager at Joe’s Cafe!
Over in our own country, in the summer, whatever the weather, you will often find the hardy Brit swimming in the sea when it is pouring with rain, and ‘sunbathing’ on the beach in a swimming costume when there is no sun to be seen! (seriously, I am guilty of both of these). It is summertime, You are at the beach. You will bloody well enjoy yourself. This was how I was brought up!
We apologise for everything! If someone barges into us, we say sorry.Even if we bump into a lamp-post we apologise!
We queue for everything! Yes us Brits do love a queue; everywhere from supermarkets to the loos! Woe betide anyone that tries to jump the queue though! You will get some serious dirty looks, and someone might even be brave enough to tell you off!
Tea is the curer of all ills. If you have had a shock, a cup of tea will calm you down. Feeling peaky? Have a nice cup of tea. Also if you want any work doing by anyone, you need to have a tea on tap! It’s the workmen’s fuel (together with a bacon butty)!
We are very modest, It is very bad form to ‘blow your own trumpet’ so if someone gives us a compliment they will wish they hadn’t! We will turn it around, and put ourselves down, and make you feel dreadful for daring to mention how wonderful we are!

So there you have it, the best of British in a nutshell!!

Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Category: Life

Episode 211: Get it Write!

Episode 208: Raising Eyebrows!

Episode 207: It’s All About Me!!!

Episode 206: Sing-A-Long Sunday

Episode 203: Lazing on a Sunny Afternoon…..

Episode 202: Spring into Action!

Episode 200: World Book Grey!

Episode 198: You Know You Are Past It When……

Episode 195: Doncha Wish Your Husband Has A Bum Like Me?

Episode 193: The Best Of British!

Follow Blog via Email

Translate

This is me!

Judy E Martin

Top Posts & Pages

Blogs I Follow

Thanks for visiting

Lates Blog Posts

RSS

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Please share if you enjoyed this post :-)

Follow Blog via Email

Translate

This is me!

Top Posts & Pages

Blogs I Follow

Thanks for visiting

Lates Blog Posts

RSS