2015-03-09T16:39:52+00:00

Episode 207: It’s All About Me!!!

March 9, 2015/Judy E Martin/11 Comments

Well today is all about me! As if you haven’t had enough of me already, my task for Blogging 101 today is to have an ‘irresistible About Me page.’ Hmmm, i have already messed about with my ‘About Me’ page, having updated it several times. I think for now I might just leave it alone. However, if I get a load of feedback telling me that it is rubbish then I will try to tweak it a bit. I know it is all about selling ourselves but I am very aware that ‘you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!’

I think my ‘About Me’ page pretty much sums me up. I am someone who feels that we all need a bi of laughter in our lives. It can get pretty tough sometimes, pressures put upon us, high expectations that might be difficult to live up to, plus the normal ups and downs of everyday life. We just need to take a step back, sometimes and try to see the funny side of things.

That doesn’t mean bursting out laughing at inopportune moments (not recommended, I have been on the end of may a dirty look for this crime), no, it just means reflecting back on a situation, and instead of cringing at some stupid thing you said or did, just laugh about it. After all, there is nothing you can do about it, so instead of stewing on it, make fun of it, or yourself!

I am not one to want to draw attention to myself, but being the way I am it happens. I have been at work walking back to my ward after coming out of the loos only to be told,

“You’ve got your dress tucked into your knickers!” Nice! Cringe, red face, look around to see who saw, frantically try to remember what knickers I have on and have been showing to all and sundry, are they decent ones? (chances are they will be ”work’ ones)! Why do people have to shout these kind of things out after you thereby alerting everyone to your plight? Honestly!

So, I have decided that laughing about things really is the best way to deal with it, None of us are perfect, some of us are less so,especially me, BUT I do have one saving grace. I love words and telling little anecdotes and stories. what a perfect combination. I can and do write about all my little ‘episodes’ in my blog. Sometimes I even drag my family into it. (Mostly with their permission)!

Episode 201: Boasting of Posting!

March 6, 2015/Judy E Martin/27 Comments

There’s something that I am quite proud of
Although it is not pleasant to boast
Even though it’s been only six months now
I have written my 200th post!
Some of them have been rather silly
Others have turned out quite sad
One of two have ended up funny
But most are stark raving mad!
At times I like to throw in a poem
Oh how I love a good rhyme
The problem is now I’m addicted
Blogging takes up all my time!
I blog when I get chance to
After finishing work for the day
I read other blogs in the meantime
To see what they have to say
I can’t stop this mad blogging habit
I’m finding it is rather fun
Oh hang on, I think I have new post now
Yep, that’s made it 201!

Episode 197: Someone Like Me…

March 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/24 Comments

Todays’ Blogging 101 assignment is to publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it.

Hmmm, this is a bit tricky as I don’t have a specific audience member in mind. I am just bloody grateful I have an audience at all really! So for the purpose of today’s task, I am going to base my ideal audience member on someone like me. An ordinary person who blunders their way through life leaving a trial of havoc in their wake! Yes, someone who can bang into, trip over or knock down anything and everything! A klutz of the highest order.

This person actually loves interacting with other people, and actually once they get to know you, will appear to be quite outgoing and confident. On first meeting them though they will appear shy and awkward. They will smile nervously but not contribute much to the conversation unless asked directly to do so. Then they will stumble over their words and blush a lot!

This person loves to see the funny side of things. They have a wicked sense of humour, and a very dirty laugh. They can make something out of nothing and the double entendre is their best friend. Bursting into inappropriate laughter at times such as when they were asked to go and find a ‘scrotal sling’ for an unfortunate patient is second nature to them. When something tickles them, they are no longer shy, and usually succumb to the odd snort of laughter, hurriedly disguised as a cough!

This person would love the sillier things in life. The more ridiculous the better, and they will suddenly chuckle to themselves when it comes to their mind. They also love to tell others about it so they can share the laughter.

Well there you have it. This was by no means intended to be an egotistical post. I just thought that the type of person who would enjoy my blog would have some similarities to me!

I have included a clip of one of my favourite characters, Sir Lancelot Spratt, played by the superb James Robertson Justice. I know it is dated a bit now, but I just love his accent, the way he shouts at everyone terrifying them. Plus it is set in a hospital, which is right up my street anyway!

Enjoy!

Episode 178: Dressed To Express

February 24, 2015/Judy E Martin/10 Comments

Well today was the ‘Team Building’ day that I had mentioned in my previous post here. I had put on my ‘Minnie Mouse’ dress, grabbed my object that I was going to talk about (my knitted monkey), and managed to cadge a lift (due to broken down car) with two of my colleagues.

It is a beautiful, sunny day again today so the dress was not as inappropriate as I thought. We managed to get a parking space as well, but because of the time it was quite a long way off so we had a bit of a trek to get to the room on time. Of course, being as I am, I needed to get a coffee so the others went up and I joined the massive queue at the cafe.

This led to me bursting in a little late, but it wasn’t a problem luckily. Anyway we set some ground rules before we started one of which was ‘no eating’. Great, I had brought a couple of sandwiches and a satsuma to keep the hunger pangs at bay, but never mind! The session was really good as it happens. It was great to see some of the people in their own clothes outside of work! We all get on pretty well anyway, so it was quite good fun.

I was pleased that I was not the only dozy one amongst us, as one of our group barged in about an hour into the session having gone to the wrong hospital, in the wrong town (city actually). Bless her she got caught in the rush hour traffic but did eventually turn up.

At one part of the session we all had to talk individually about something, Just as thee boss was going to start, ‘Hey Jude’ blasted out from my handbag! Shit, I had forgotten to turn my phone on silent, which was very unusual as people normally moan that i never hear my phone!

Anyway, we eventually trotted back to the car (by now I was carrying my coat as it was so hot). I came home and decided that I would get changed as I felt a bit ‘trussed up’ (no, I have not been watching ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’) , I took my cardigan off and realised that one of the straps was missing off my dress, nowhere to be found. Gutted.

Pic of the whole dress (strap included)!

Episode 148: Family Night…..

February 6, 2015/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

The weekend is upon us. The time for families to spend quality time together enjoying each other’s company….not in our house!

We all started off sitting together in the front room having dinner, then Miss Hap got a call afterwards from a school friend, She decided that they needed to ‘face time’ each other as talking is obviously not enough (neither is the fact that she was just with her at school a few hours previously) and she clomped off upstairs to get some privacy!

I remember those days when younger and my friends would phone on the weekend. My Mum and step-dad would moan loudly about ‘bloody kids’ phoning up when we only saw them 5 minutes ago. We didn’t have the luxury of a cordless phone and the cable wasn’t that long either. That normally meant sitting in the front room trying to talk to your friend whilst getting withering glances from the others as you were disturbing their TV viewing pleasure!

Privacy was not an option. If you were lucky, you might be able to yank the phone out to the hall and sit on the stairs for 5 minutes, before being yelled at to ‘get off the bloody phone’ – even if your friend called you! Those were the days!

Mt Grump has plonked himself in front of the (blaring) TV with a few beers, to watch the Rugby. It is England V Wales, and is being played in his home town of Cardiff. The rest of the family are English, and he has been getting a few texts from them commiserating over Wales’ inevitable trouncing by England even though it hasn’t started yet! In fact we are being treated to a light show of dizzying brilliance.

I am sat at my laptop trying to block out the bloody racket coming from the TV. My headphones have blocked out about 50% of it, but no doubt I will still hear the shouts if Wales score, or the swearing if England do!

Good old technology. where would we be with out it?…..Probably all sitting around playing a board game and spending quality family time together no doubt!!!

Episode 139: Stating The Bleeding Obvious!!!

February 4, 2015/Judy E Martin/14 Comments

Don’t you just hate it when you are feeling a bit grotty, so make an extra special effort to try to disguise it, only to have someone come up to you and say with concern,

“Are you aright? You look ghastly!” Well thanks very much, that is just what I wanted to hear. Some people just don’t think; either that or they missed the boat when tact and diplomacy were given out!

Mr Grump has been known to have opened his mouth before engaging his brain, and has been on the end of a verbal volley from me. His crime? He dared to mention that I had a HUGE spot on my face; I was only too aware of it already, and had attempted to hide it with copious amounts of makeup. I know it still shone through like a Belisha Beacon, but he didn’t have to mention it!

Another really big no-no happened as I was walking along the corridor at work. One of the night nurses, smiled at me and asked me if I was pregnant! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the end I settled for taking offence, and told her that no, i was just fat!. I would have thought that she could have done a bit of subtle digging first rather than just coming out with it!

I know it’s nice that people notice things, and yes, we all like to be complimented on a new haircut, or the fact that we have lost weight; but on the flip side, most of us are a little sensitive to have our flaws pointed out, even if there was no intention to embarrass.

I know some people just speak without thinking; my poor boss suffers with this affliction. When one of the carers was brushing a patient’s hair, she asked them to have a go at the nurse’s hair that was working with her, as it looked like a bird’s nest. Ouch!

What type of person are you? A blabbermouth, or the soul of discretion?

Episode 135: Sorrowful Sharks at the Superbowl

February 2, 2015/Judy E Martin/10 Comments

Now I don’t know anything about NFL Superbowl, other than it is a HUGE sporting event. This years league championship game was between the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks, and the patriots won.

The reason it has come to my attention is because there was an article about it in one of our tabloid newspapers. Now you might be mistaken for thinking that it focused on the game; all the drama, and excitement, plus the tension, the crowd etc. It didn’t!

Oh no, this article was all about Katy Perry and her dancing sharks! Well, as soon as I saw the headline, I decided that it needed further investigation, and I was not disappointed! There was even a video clip for my delight and entertainment!

And was I entertained! Katy Perry herself, looked as stunning as always, but whose idea was it to have dancing sharks? I mean for God’s sake, look at the outfits they had to wear for a start! How can anyone be expected to dance in that? They look like something that they used to make contestants wear in ‘It’s a Knockout’ in order to hamper their movements.

It seems like it had the same effect here. The poor old shark in the left got a little confused as to what they were doing, and must have thought that if he(or she) kept moving no-one would notice. After all, there is no way the dance routine is going to be that elaborate with a limited range of movement, (Those outfits might as well be straightjackets)! Ok if you want to do that Irish dancing where you don’t move your arms I suppose!

One other thing I would like to mention about the poor sharks is their sad expressions! Now I am not surprised given that they could hardly move, and one of them has messed up the routine, but honestly, their morose expressions said it all! Poor buggers!

It made me laugh though!

Episode 95: Laughter Is The Best Medicine….

January 10, 2015/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

I love to laugh, and I feel that I have a good sense of humour. However, I do have an unfortunate tendency to burst out laughing at inopportune moments….

Being in nursing, there are plenty of opportunities for inappropriate laughing. During handover one morning whilst the night nurse was handing over a male patient, she mentioned that he had a severely ‘swollen scrotum.’ Now I am sure this poor patient did not find his condition at all funny, but I thought it was worth a bit of a snigger, being as childish as I am at times.

I shouldn’t have laughed because guess who had to go to theatres and ask them for a ‘scrotal sling?’ Yep, you guessed it. and off I trotted. Now theatres staff are not the friendliest for some reason. I remember once having to go there as my uniform had got some rather nasty brown marks on it (Someone had just been given prep for a colonoscopy, and didn’t quite make it to the loo…you get the picture). Anyway I asked if I could borrow some scrubs; I got a disdainful look when I showed them my lovely stains, which I took an exception to. So, I said to them, “It’s ok, it’s not my shit.” Scrubs were handed over and I hotfooted it out of there pronto!

Now, back to this sling. My initial request was greeted with a blank stare! When asked to elaborate, I got a bit tongue-tied as I had never seen one myself. Other nearby staff also decided to chime in with their thoughts on the matter, and after a lot of argy-bargy, one was found. I presented it to the Sister with a flourish, only to be told to go and fit it myself! No chance! I found the Charge Nurse and told him I needed to watch how he did it. Sorted!

One other episode during handover also made me laugh. Again it was to do with a male patient who had been making sexually inappropriate comments and overtures to the female nurses (bless him, he had to be at least 80, and even if the mind was willing…the body wasn’t able). Anyway this nurse that had handed over, was our previous temporary Ward Manager who had just retired but had come back to do the odd Agency shift. She was very well spoken and rather no-nonsense, and she said that when she had gone to see him he was totally fine with her; she then added,

“I mustn’t have been his type as he obviously didn’t fancy me!”

One of the doctors we have that comes to the ward is very glamorous and likes to wear high heels. (God knows how she walks about in those all day). She had come to see a very poorly patient, and I pointed out to her whereabouts this patient was. She walked into the bay, skidded on the shiny floor and went flat on her face! Now I didn’t actually see her fall, but I heard the racket of the stuff she knocked off the patient’s table, crashing to the floor, as she went down. Luckily she was unhurt, as I had nipped behind the nurse’s station to stifle my laughter.

I’ve lot count of the amount of times that a patients has broken wind (loudly) just as you stand them up to walk them to the loo or something. Sometimes they are oblivious to it, but if they heard it, then I usually joke that a bit of jet propulsion should speed up our journey, or some such thing.

Lastly, as well as loving to laugh, I also love words, so puns and spoonerisms are things that can always get me laughing. Our male charge nurse is constantly coming out with all kinds of things that are inappropriately funny which certainly brighten up my day; The latest one that I can remember, is when he did a great play on Whitton Tank, where a patient was being discharged to. (Just in case you didn’t get it, T**s and W**k)!

If like me, you love innuendo, double entendre and toilet humour, then nursing had more than it’s fair share of laughs!

Episode 89: A Party Is Not A Party Without A Hedgehog!

January 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/12 Comments

Yesterday as I was feeding one of my old ladies her pudding of jelly and ice cream, it got me thinking about party food. (Yes my mind constantly wanders to food, and I don’t usually need any prompting either)! I’m talking about the good old party food of yesteryear.

Nowadays kids’ birthday parties are a bit of a minefield. You have to send out the right invitations, which are to include at least half the class. spend a small fortune on entertainment, (bouncy castles, magicians, ds or whatever), or go to a venue that specialises in holding birthday parties, like soft play areas, the bowling alley, or even having a go at the laser gun experience! Whatever you choose, make sure you provide the good old party bag crammed with goodies, or there will be many disappointed kids, and you will not be popular with their parents either.

Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned birthday party, like the ones we had as kids (Well, if you are as old as me you did)! I’m talking about getting your best party outfit on, and trotting off with a present that had been thoughtfully picked, and wrapped nicely. There were probably only about another 4 or 5 kids there, plus the family of the birthday child, but you still enjoyed yourselves.

The spread was always my favourite (and still is). I love all the little picky bits, cocktail sausages on sticks, vol-au-vents with tinned salmon, or even egg mayonnaise (who has those nowadays?), I love the wobbly jellies that had been moulded into bunny shapes or something fancy, the blancmange, the little triangle sandwiches with ham, or paste or sandwich spread (you can actually still get that)! The pork pies, cut into little pieces, home-made sausage rolls and jam tarts, (my mouth is watering just thinking about it all laid out on the table), and finally the piece de resistance the cheese and pineapple chunk hedgehog! Oh yes, a party is not a party without a spud wrapped in tin foil that is studded with cocktail sticks containing chunks of cheese and (tinned) pineapple! Actually some people used little pickled onions with cheese, Either way,my happiness was complete once I has spotted that on the table!

The games were simple but fun. Pass the Parcel was the favourite. One of the adults would put a record whilst the parcel was being passed around then it would abruptly stop and a tussle would begin as to who unwrapped the layer. Similarly In Musical Chairs, once the music had stopped there would be a load of pushing and shoving as to who sat down on the chairs. Musical Statues was less of a contact game,but a scrap could still break out over who moved first!

Ahhh yes, the fun we used to have! There was none of this ‘everyone has to win something’ malarky. Oh no, if you lost, then tough! Harsh maybe but it ‘built character’. There were a few sad faces not to mention scratched records by the end of the games! Tucking into the food, soon put a smile back on the kids’ faces and they happily sang ‘Happy Birthday’ whilst the (usually home made) birthday cake was brought in.

I think it’s such a shame that on the whole, these parties rarely exist, and everything has become so commercialised now, plus expectations are so much more, I have to say they have not been entirely forgotten though. Over the years, I have given Miss Hap the modern version of the birthday party which she enjoys with her friends, but I always do a little ‘birthday tea’ for the family, where I have of course got a cheese and pineapple hedgehog in pride of place at the table, surrounded by all the other party food I like!

Episode 86: Goodbye To 2014!

December 31, 2014/Judy E Martin/10 Comments

Well 2014 has been quite a year for me in more ways than one! The beginning of the year started pretty quietly, nothing untoward. March was a bittersweet month, On the one hand Mr Grump got made redundant from his job,which was a major worry, and on the other, it was my graduation from University, which I was very excited about. It was a wonderful day seeing all of the friends I made, plus sharing the occasion with Mr Grump and my younger sister.

Luckily Mr Grump managed to find a job quite quickly which he loves, so it turned out to be a blessing in disguise that he lost the other one. We also had the results back from the eleven plus test that Miss Hap took. She passed with flying colours, which meant that she was eligible to go to the Grammar School. Everyone was so proud of her, and she herself was thrilled that she actually did it!

May was Miss Hap’s 11th birthday, and after a massive panic getting her a passport on time, she had a wonderful time in Disneyland Paris with her natural father, as well as the celebrations we had for her at home. Not long after this her place was confirmed at the Grammar, and we had all gone to have a look around it.

Then everything came crashing down for me, and I suffered a severe bout of depression which I could not shake off, I was unable to go to work (or even go out) for two months and it was an awful time for us all. Slowly,with a lot of help I got back on an even keel, and things returned to normal.

In October I decided to stop smoking, after 35 years (my entire adult life, plus some of my childhood as well). Although I am still smoke free, I have been tempted on more than one occasion to take it up again, especially as I kept getting throat infections, and other illnesses I thought I wouldn’t get as often being a ‘non smoker’!

A couple of weeks before I gave up smoking I took up blogging on the suggestion of my younger sister. This has proved to be a massive boost for me. I have really enjoyed writing the posts, although some have been silly, some serious, and one upset the school orchestra (oops), I hope that on the whole they have been funny or amusing which is what I intended them to be when I started.

I am privileged to have ‘met’ some wonderful people in the three months that I have been blogging. I cannot believe how supportive and friendly everyone has been to me. I didn’t know what to expect, so I was pleasantly surprised at the response I have had to my blog, I have also come across so many blogs that have touched me in some way, and I would just like to give some of them a mention, (Thanks to A Momma’s View for the inspiration):

Heels and a Toolbox

Nutsrok

Fourth Generation Farmgirl

The Girl Next Door is Black