Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 166: Fairy Grandmother! — February 16, 2015

Episode 166: Fairy Grandmother!

When I was younger, my parents were pretty strict about swearing (or rather us not swearing) as I wrote about here. It was pretty unheard of to hear bad language on the TV, and I never ever heard my parents use really bad language. Yes, my step-dad loved ‘bloody’ and ‘shit’,  and my mum was partial to ‘for Christ’s sake’ but there was never any ‘f’ word or similar. Ever.

Nowadays it is so much more commonplace. we hear it all the time, On TV, listening to music, even young kids on the street seem to bandy swear words about with abandon, as it is part of their everyday vocabulary.

Many of the older generation still do not like to hear people constantly swearing, and one grandmother of 73 landed up getting herself in trouble when she tried to make a stand.

It all started when her daughter’s boyfriend couldn’t control his language in front of the woman, her daughter and granddaughter. She had finally had enough when the 6ft 2 chef loomed over her swearing in her face. Quick as a flash, she pulled put a bottle of ‘Fairy’ washing up liquid from her bag (God knows why she was carrying it around, unless it was for just such an occasion) and squirted the liquid towards the 38 year old’s mouth.

Now, most of us as kids were threatened to have ‘our mouths washed out with soap’ if we were caught swearing by an older person, and being of that generation, she followed through on it, probably intending to teach him a lesson in manners.

Unfortunately, his poor feelings were hurt and he called the police accusing her of assault; sure enough they came out and charged her! She will be up before the magistrates court facing prosecution and a criminal record.

How times have changed. Forty years ago this woman would have been commended for her actions, and the foul-mouthed ranter, berated by the police for wasting their time, and for using abusive language!

Is the Crown  Prosecution Service getting a little over the top wanting to prosecute this woman, or do you think she ‘assaulted’ the man and deserves what she gets?

Episode 10: Back in their day….. — September 30, 2014

Episode 10: Back in their day…..

As I sit here sneezing my head off, (the cold is in full swing now) trying to muster up a bit of energy to do  even the smallest of tasks, I wonder how my Grandmothers used to cope when they felt lousy, back in the days before we had all the mod cons which make our modern lives so much easier, and I feel pretty ashamed of myself for being such a wimp…..!

Both my Dad’s mum (Nanny R), and Mum’s mum (Nanny M) lived next door to each other, at the time when they were born, in huge  Victorian houses, situated on a very pleasant street, not far from the beautiful Jurassic coast in the South-West of England.

Nanny R had never been married (scandalous in 1929 when she gave birth to my dad), and lived with her spinster sister (Aunty May), whereas Nanny M was married with one daughter, and three sons, one of whom suffered with Muscular Dystrophy.Both nans were under five foot tall, but what they lacked in height they made up for, being extremely feisty!  Aunty May however, was tall and slim with a sour face, and personality to match! Mind you, I can understand why she was so bitter, as apparently she had a fiance who her father didn’t approve of, and forbade her to marry,so although engaged for years, she never did marry him – or anyone else!

Nanny M used to take in lodgers during the war whilst Grandad (an officer in the Navy) was away, and she certainly had her work cut out for her. Not only did she have her young children to look after, but she had to cook all of the meals for her visitors (no convenience foods for them), plus somehow manage to launder all of the linen etc without the aid of the trusty washing machine we rely upon so much today. I remember seeing these massive wooden tongs that she used to have, plus this washboard thing she had to scrub the laundry against.

This must have been so time-consuming and cumbersome for her, especially as she also had to iron everything with a flat-iron that was warmed up by the fire. This along with cleaning the entire four-storey house single-handedly must have been one hell of a mammoth task.

Nanny R and Aunty May did not have any lodgers, they were ‘above’ all of that, and accused Nanny M of running a ‘knocking shop’ (she found out about this and gave them a piece of her mind). They just lived there with their very strict father (a Peppery Old Sod is how my mum referred to him) and my dad. They too had a lot of work to do in the house. I remember walking into their house as a child;  it still had all the bells on the wall (very Upstairs, Downstairs), labelled with the names of various rooms, which I presumed my great-grandad would ring to summon them to do his bidding.

Aunty May went out with her father to work during the day which would leave Nanny R to run the house and prepare the meals for them when they got home. They had a huge garden where they would grow their own fruit and veg and Nan would conjure up delicious meals with all fresh produce.  My own experience eating at their house was a VERY formal affair. There was a huge table laden with all manner of vegetables, meats, and other dishes, but you got NOTHING unless you ate your bread and butter! My siblings and I were to sit in silence and only speak when spoken to. We were not allowed to leave the table until we excused ourselves and God help you if you didn’t behave with the correct table manners)!!

Still, it was a small price to pay,at least we didn’t have to wash up afterwards,  as my poor Nan was left with all the clearing up to do, along with everything else that needed doing! The mountain of crockery, cutlery, pots and pans to clean up must have been so disheartening for her, especially as she had cooked and prepared the meal to begin with!

Never once did I hear my Nans complain about their lot in life. Yes, they were both lucky in that they lived in these gorgeous properties, but they did all the work themselves. I don’t remember them moaning that they felt ill, and didn’t want to do anything except languish in bed, feeling sorry for themselves….they just got on with it; it was what was expected of them and they did it with good grace.

I am blessed that I have had such strong,hard-working women as my early role-models. I know that if they were here now, I would get a bloody good telling off,and told that I needed “a good kick up the arse” to shake me out of my inertia, and they would be right!!

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