Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

7 Annoying Things About Summer — May 27, 2018

7 Annoying Things About Summer

You may have seen my post yesterday singing the praises of summer, if not you can read it here. Now, just to balance things out a little, this post is about the annoying little things that are not so great about the summer.

  1. Flies and wasps! These little sods get everywhere and anywhere buzzing about, dropping into drinks and dive bombing food if you are not careful.
  2. Curdled milk. What is it with people (especially at work of all places), leaving milk out of the fridge so that it goes like cottage cheese after a little while and smells
  3. Neighbours who think they are bloody Bruno Mars! Honestly with the windows and doors open and the close proximity of all the houses where I live, every sound can be heard, so when Mr Mars next door starts wailing at the top of his out of tune voice, it is not a pleasant experience. I would love it if he could sing as it is far better than his shouting his head off that we normally get!
  4. White clothes. Now I love all my white outfits despite the fact that white is not always the best colour for the more voluptuous woman to wear. However, being as clumsy as I am, they are normally filthy within a couple of hours where I have sat on something or knocked something over myself!
  5. Sleepless nights. Yes, I get enough of those as it is, without the stifling hot air that hangs heavy in my bedroom, despite all windows being open. Having the fan on does not always help as it makes such a bloody racket which is very distracting!
  6. Bad hair days. My hair has a mind of its own and does not want to conform to any sort of style, but in the summer I have one look only; the sweaty, plastered to the head kind of arrangement!
  7. Sand everywhere. I have always been a bit fussy about this, even as a child. I hated being covered in clumps of sand after getting out of the sea, where it had stuck to me. I never wanted to eat the picnics Mum got out of the cool box as inevitably sand would have got into the sandwiches! That CRUNCH as I bit into it made me feel sick and even spoilt my appetite, which, I can tell you, takes some doing!

What do you find annoying about the summer?

#SoCS Season — October 21, 2017

#SoCS Season

Linda’s prompt word for this week’s Stream of Consciousness post is season. We can use it however we wish (even adding a suffix to it) and get bonus points for starting and ending with a season or seasoning. Oh, and a picture gets even more bonus points!

Autumn is well and truly settling in we have had all kinds of weather, ranging from unseasonably warm days and days like today which are cold and blustery. (I think storm Brian is popping in and out  just to keep us on our toes)!

I feel that every season has something to offer. Autumn with its beautiful reds and golds, crisp mornings and chilly evenings. Of course, there is also Halloween with the kids dressing up and houses decorated in all sorts of spooky ways. Then it is Guy Fawkes night and the sky will be lit up in all kinds of colours as fireworks whizz and pop into life. Hopefully, the skies will be clear so that people can enjoy them.

Winter is burrowing in time! Wrapped in a blanket on the settee with fleecy pyjamas and thick socks, then getting then having a hot flush! Dark nights and mornings mean wanting to stay in bed where it is warm and cosy. Hearty, filling meals like stews, and casseroles, stodgy puddings, crumbles and custard, and large mugs of hot chocolate or milky coffee. Ahhhhh, I can dream of all those delicious calories waiting to be consumed!  If we are lucky (or unlucky if you have to drive in it), we might even get a bit of snow. Such fun for the kids as inevitably, the schools will shut down, there will be chaos on the roads and the trains will not be able to cope with ‘the wrong kind of snow.’

Spring is always so welcome to me, the lighter evenings, warmer weather that is not sweltering, just pleasant. The flowers poking their heads up above ground to see what is going on, bluebells in the woods, blossom on the trees, birds singing, digging out the shorts and t-shirts only for it to suddenly turn arctic!

Lastly, the beautiful summer, blue skies, hot sunshine, beaches, barbecues and loads of daylight. Of course, it also means, suntan lotion, insect bites, dragging the fan out of the loft, chucking the duvet off the bed, and moaning about the heat!

Yes, each one has something to offer, but being British, I also love to moan about the seasons!

 

SoCS Season

 

 

Just Jot it January 19th – Climate — January 19, 2016

Just Jot it January 19th – Climate

 

jjj-2016A great prompt word today for Linda’s Just Jot it January challenge. Being British, I think it must be ingrained in me to be obsessed about the weather. We love to moan about it whether it is too hot, too cold, too wet, too…..well you get the idea!

Actually, on the whole, we are pretty fortunate with the weather over here. Now, I know that might sound a bit controversial to some, but we don’t tend to get the extremes of weather that other countries do.

Take for example Australia, I know from a few of our Aussie blogger friends that temperatures recently got as high as 42 degrees C which is about 107 F! I cannot even begin to imagine that kind of heat, and as much as I love the sun, the heat does not agree with me.

Yes, I know you have air-conditioning and are mostly prepared when temperatures soar, which is more than can be said for us. As soon as we get a heatwave (a couple of days on the trot of 30 degrees or more), the country gets hysterical. First off, we have a drought (we don’t always need a heatwave for this, but it helps), which leads to a hosepipe ban. It is not the green and pleasant land then, Oh no, brown, parched fields and drooping, wilting flowers are a sad sight to behold. Then we get the panic buying, The shops sell out of bottled water and you can’t buy a fan for love nor money!

Conversely, my Canadian friend talked of it getting as cold as -22 C which is -7 F. Again I can’t begin to think how I would cope in such freezing cold.  Our country goes into meltdown if we get a bit of snow for a couple of days. Cars abandoned on Motorways, the railways service grinding to a halt, as it is the ‘wrong kind of snow’ for them to deal with. Councils running out of grit for the roads as they were unprepared (despite weather warnings), and most of the schools closing down as staff can’t get in. Some areas get completely cut off as well, trapped in their homes.  Again panic buying sets in for those able to get out. People risking life and limb to go and get bread and milk  in case they get snowed in too!

I am quite grateful for the climate that I live in actually, although of course, it won’t stop me moaning about it!

 

October Roses — October 3, 2015

October Roses

We have had a bit of an Indian summer over here in the UK, and it is still pretty warm. In fact, Miss Hap and I went for a walk about an hour ago and came back roasting!

It is wonderful to see some roses in full bloom in the garden, and there are still some to follow.

I thought they deserved a Haiku in their honour.

October roses

beautiful and delicate

bring joy to my heart.

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Teacup. —

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Teacup.

This week for TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge we are to use ‘teacup’. I took this photo at my sister’s house as she always makes an occasion out of it when she has visitors. In my house, you get a mug and like it, but hers you get a pretty cup and saucer and tea made in the teapot too!

So onto the haiku:

Glorious sunshine

sipping tea in the garden….

but where is the cake?

Episode 493: The Death of Summer Haiku — September 12, 2015

Episode 493: The Death of Summer Haiku

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. I went to a friend’s wedding with my sister.It was warm and sunny and we decided to get a few photos out in her garden before we went. Today after a bit of rain, it did clear up a bit, but as you can see from my garden photos, the sunflower is dead now. We are still getting visits from Tubs and his Mrs (they are perched on top of the fence) for now, but summer is fading away.

Last days of summer

final gasp of heat and warmth…

hard to say goodbye.

Summer Haiku

Episode 411: Nice Sales Pitch! — July 11, 2015

Episode 411: Nice Sales Pitch!

As some of you may know, we are in the midst of a heat wave at the moment here in the UK, and of course some of us are suffering due to the heat, which quite frankly we are not used to.

I am not going to moan about the weather this time, just tell you a couple of funny stories. The first one was on Thursday afternoon. I came home from work and Mr Grump was out, he had finished a little before me and my sister and niece had phoned him up to see if he wanted to join them at a local pub for a pint.

Never one to miss such an opportunity, he jumped at the chance. After all, a nice refreshing beer in this heat is rather welcome. The pub is recently under new management and they are doing their best to encourage some more punters in, offering SKY Sports TV, showing all the football, and a new menu .However, their biggest boast was the fact that they are ‘doing their bit for the regulars in this heat wave by watering down the beer!’

I was working today and as I have mentioned it is stifling hot up on the ward, and everyone moans about it (we are allowed to go tightless now though). Relatives are hot and flustered, and staff are dripping with sweat (literally) and florid of face!

The only people who do not complain are the patients who relish the heat. Having said that, it was so hot up there today we actually had the windows open and none of the patients asked us to close them.

Around 10 o’clock whilst we are still trying to carry out our morning washes on the patients, (we have all got gloves & aprons on). we hear the dreaded sound of ‘ne-ner-ne-ner STAGE 1 ALERT.’ Oh no, not the bloody fire alarm! This means that there could be a fire on the same floor but not necessarily near our ward. It does mean however that we have to go around and shut every window and door as a precaution!

To say that was rather a fraught half hour until we were told to ‘STAND DOWN’ would be rather an understatement!

Episode 401: Sweating it Out! — July 2, 2015

Episode 401: Sweating it Out!

Well, I knew it wouldn’t last. I can’t stop myself (I think it is too far embedded into my genes), I am going to have to moan about the weather! Yes, I should be grateful that we have seen quite a bit of sunshine, and that it is lovely and hot. The problem is, we are not used to it!

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far here in good old England, but luckily I didn’t have to work so could wear what I wanted and also do what I wanted. Last night, however, the temperature did not decrease by much and it was stifling hot and muggy. I ended up trying to sleep with the fan whirring on full blast and an ice pack!  Bearing in mind, I am also at ‘that age’ when ladies get a little more flushed at certain times! I thought I was going to spontaneously combust!

This morning dawns another hot day, but cooler as it was only 28 Celsius (about 82 Fahrenheit). I reluctantly donned my thick cotton uniform and tights, plus clumpy shoes and bloody stupid belt to go to work.

As I walked onto the ward the heat hit me like a slap in the face! Great, putting on latex gloves and plastic aprons is going to make a lovely addition to my already boiled body (thank God the patients allowed us to open the windows so we could let a bit of (hot) air in!

Luckily for me I had to go off the ward for my annual top up resus training, in a room with air conditioning! Bliss! Well it was for 5 minutes until we had to pummel the dummy back to life with frantic CPR. Pretty exhausting stuff.

Anyway, I hot-foot it back to the ward for another face smacking dose of heat, only to discover the boss wants to take some photos as we all have to have our pictures up on the board outside the ward (presumably to terrify those not too ill to care)! At first I was a bit put out as I thought it would be better off being taken first thing in the morning but in this heat it makes no difference anyway.

So imagine this, a relative comes to see their poorly elderly relative, decides to have a look at which staff may happen to be looking after them, and sees my picture. Ruddy faced, ghastly grimace (we were told to smile) hair plastered to the head, and sweat dripping. Professional is not the word!

You’d run a bloody mile, talking your relative with you!

Episode 398: Tuesday Tidbit: Sex On The Beach! 18+ — June 30, 2015

Episode 398: Tuesday Tidbit: Sex On The Beach! 18+

A scorching hot summer, a handsome young couple

Their bodies glisten with sweat

Hair slicked back, damp from the sea

This beach is where they first met

She lies on her towel enjoying the sunshine

And gives a contented little sigh

He pours out some sunscreen into his hand

And starts smoothing it into her thigh

His circular movements get higher and higher

She is starting to react to his touch

As his hands start to wander

All over her body

She knows that she wants him so much.

He can stand it no longer, his passion is rising

He leads her by the hand to the sea

The cool of the water, does not cool their ardour

And they kiss more and more passionately

They have no one around them, and need to get closer

Each other’s bodies they crave

He removes her bikini and plunges inside her

As they rock to and fro with the waves.

Moaning with pleasure, they climb higher and higher

Until the apex they reach

Then sated and happy they return to the bar

And order A ‘Sex on the Beach!’

Episode 392: 7 Not So Good Things About The Summer! — June 25, 2015

Episode 392: 7 Not So Good Things About The Summer!

  1. Flies and wasps! These little sods get everywhere and anywhere buzzing about, dropping into drinks and dive bombing food, if you are not careful.
  2. Curdled milk. What is it with people (especially at work of all places), leaving milk out of the fridge so that it goes like cheese after a little while!
  3. Neighbours who think they are bloody Bruno Mars! Honestly with the windows and doors open and the close proximity of all the houses where I live, every sound can be heard, so when Mr Mars next door starts wailing at the top of his out of tune voice, it is not a pleasant experience. I would love it if he could sing as it is far better than his shouting his head off that we normally get!
  4. White clothes. Now I love all my white outfits despite the fact that white is not always the best colour for the more voluptuous woman to wear. However, being as clumsy as I am, they are normally filthy within a couple of hours where I have at on something or knocked something onto myself!
  5. Sleepless nights. Yes I get enough of those as it is, without the stifling hot air that hangs heavy in my bedroom, despite all windows being open. Having the fan on does not always help as it makes such a bloody racket which is very distracting!
  6. Bad hair days. My hair has a mind of its own and does not want to conform to any sort of style, but in the summer I have one look only, the sweaty, plastered to the head kind of arrangement!
  7. Sand everywhere. I have always been a bit fussy about this, even as a child! I hated being covered in clumps of sand after getting out of the sea, where it had stuck to me. I never wanted to eat the picnics Mum got out of the cool box as inevitably sand would have got into the sandwiches! That CRUNCH as I bit into it made me feel

What annoys you about the summer?

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