Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 117: The Tortoise or the Hare? — January 21, 2015

Episode 117: The Tortoise or the Hare?

My daughter seems to have got two speeds…slow and even slower! Ooooh it does drive me mad! She has the attention span of a gnat, and whilst cutting out pictures to stick into her art project, she starts curling up the leftover strips with the scissors! Aaaggh! This has to be in tomorrow (she has had 2 weeks to do it though) and she is faffing about, playing with scraps of paper! There is no sense of urgency with anything at all, least of all homework!

Getting ready in the morning is nothing short of an ordeal for me and Mr Grump (when I am there as most of the time I am already at work).We are both very organised; we get up in plenty of time to get ready. Not so Miss Hap!

We wake her up, she mutters;we call up to her, she grunts;we tell her that she now only has 15 mins left and to hurry up! She gets stroppy; the front door bell rings, she clomps down the stairs like an elephant with hobnail boots on! She’s gone, and our nerves are shredded! Thank God for breakfast Club at school, as God knows how long that would take at home!

You would think that having us for parents, she might have picked up some of our habits, like for instance, packing the stuff we need for the next day, the night before…no, why do that when you can get the school to phone whilst we are at work asking us to bring in her dance kit/science book?

My daughter has boundless energy and is always dancing, skipping, shuffling and generally running around except when I ask her to do something for me. She then seems to go into reverse (probably a ploy so I don’t ask again)! How long does it take to make a cup of tea?!! God help me when I decide (soon) to get her to help me with the washing up!

Maybe it’s me?… perhaps I am the one who should relax more, instead of running around like a blue-arsed fly, getting het up, in my haste to get things done on time!

After all, I’ve lost count of the times I have been somewhere way too early and have had to sit twiddling my thumbs waiting for everyone else to turn up! Or I have got ready so early for a function that my outfit has got creased from sitting about in it for ages, and my make up got smudged!

There must be a happy medium!

Episode 91: Red Alert! — January 7, 2015

Episode 91: Red Alert!

I’ve got a guilty pleasure……sometimes,very early in the morning, when there is nobody else up, I can indulge in it. Occasionally if Miss Hap gets up early enough, she joins me, and we both get wrapped up in it for a while, enjoying ourselves immensely. Yes… I love watching the Teleshopping channels!

The jewellery channels are ones that we both particularly enjoy. We marvel at some of the ‘pieces’  (see, I even know the jargon) and are amazed at how much there is for the presenters to say about them. They waffle on and on for ages, and then get out their little rulers to give measurements and dimensions. Finally comes the climax, where the price dramatically drops, and the phone lines go mad!  I just find them very entertaining.

I occasionally watch the channels where they are advertising some intense workout. I become mesmerised as all these fit young people push themselves into ‘Oblivion’ or whatever it is called. I envy their bodies but know that after 10 mins of such gruelling exercise. I would end up at the local A & E with either a heart attack or serious injury.

Oh no, those channels are not for me. However,  if any of them have gadgets on them, then I am all ears (and eyes too for that matter). I simply MUST have that X5 mop I have seen advertised. I am not that keen on housework and I am sure that this brilliant invention is the answer to all my chores!  The problem is, Mr Grump won’t let me have one!  How can he not be impressed by all the different functions that it has? Why is he not amazed that it uses no chemicals, only steam ?(Yes, I know, STEAM, and it even cleans grease up)! Doesn’t he realise that it comes in different colours? Even red (which matches all our kitchen utensils; a factor which is of course of vital importance when choosing a product)! I am bitterly disappointed that he won’t let me have one but I will eventually wear him down I am sure.

I think the reason might have something to do with the fact that he is still smarting over a set of frying pans I was seduced into buying that cost a bloody fortune! I had seen them advertised on the same channel as the mop. They looked wonderful, non stick, easy to clean and guess what? Yes, they came in red!

Red pans

I had taken my Mum out shopping and we happened to go to a large new homeware store that had recently opened.As we were walking around I caught sight of a TV advertising said pans and I sauntered over to have a closer look. As they were on special offer I just HAD to get one – of each size, plus the special lid! Mum bought the small one as well, and we were pleased with our bargains!

Later on when Mr Grump got home from work, and I showed him my new pans, he was not at all happy, especially as he spotted the receipt in the bag. His face went as red as those pans and I probably could have saved myself some money and fried an egg on him, boiling as he was!  Anyway,our old pans (in my opinion) were well past their prime; they were old and ugly.

To make a point, sulky Mr Grump has steadfastly refused to use my lovely new pans and I have even resorted to doing a bit of cooking myself just so they are not neglected, and they are wonderful!

Am I the only one that is a sucker for a gadget?

Episode 39: Nobody’s Perfect…. — November 9, 2014

Episode 39: Nobody’s Perfect….

We all have our little faults, (some more than others) and I know I certainly have mine! I just got to thinking about the little pet hates that I have…silly little things that really drive me mad…..

People that don’t change the loo roll, preferring instead to leave the empty tube on the holder! Of course you don’t really notice this until you have actually ‘done your business’ and are in need of it! If this happens in my house (which it does all the time), then it’s not too bad as I always make sure there is a supply close at hand, but if you are somewhere else and there is none anywhere, it can be a bit of a problem as you are in rather a vulnerable position!

Leaving milk out of the fridge! This is a real peeve of mine at work…I do like my hot drinks, and the first thing I usually do when I get in is have a coffee. However, it is somewhat  annoying if someone has left the milk out of the fridge, and a hesitant sniff confirms that it has gone off (sometimes it has even gone like cottage cheese)! It really is the ultimate in laziness not bothering to put the milk back once it has been used.

Leaving shoes right behind the front door…I hate it when I get in from work, fling open the front door then nearly get knocked out as it bounces on said shoes, and comes hurtling towards my face.Miss Hap is guilty of this one as she just comes in the door, kicks everything off and leaves it where it lands. This means that once I have avoided concussion from the door, I then have to tread carefully so as not to trip over the school bag chucked on the floor!

Text talk! I hate it when people abbreviate words so much I can hardly understand them when they text e.g.’cul8r m8′ (I do know what that one means now) or something! I know I am old-fashioned and everything, and yes it is a bit of a pain to type out every single word in full , but if someone is going to send me a load of seemingly random letters and numbers put together that doesn’t mean anything to me , then what is the point!!  I would say that mostly younger people tend to do this, but actually my elder sister (in her late 50’s) is one of  the worst offenders. It takes me ages to decipher her messages sometimes!

Soap and flannels! Now I know this one might be a bit controversial, but you’ll understand why in a minute!  Let’s take a bar of soap first. When first opened it is all lovely and solid, and smells nice..but after a bit of use, it becomes all soggy, snotty and slimy. I hate it when I go somewhere and there is a rotten piece of soap on the wash basin, that has seen better days. God knows how long it has been there or who has used it, YUCK! Similarly with flannels.. The problem with these is they are so unhygienic.I know my Mum is a huge fan of the flannel (as are many elderly people) and when she stays with me or my younger sister, the flannel comes out on display in the bathroom (along with the bar of soap I might add). Sometimes it is even draped over the bath! Now the thing with flannels is that they also get very slimy..when I am washing patients at work and they mention they have a flannel, I always offer them the disposable wash clothes that we have instead. I mean some of them only have the one flannel which is used for everywhere! The thought of washing your face with a flannel that has been wiped around sweaty armpits. cheesy feet, not to mention other more ‘intimate’ places, seems to defeat the object of feeling fresh and clean!

My final pet hate was kindly given to me by Mr Grump and is something that annoys him about me! I very rarely eat leftovers (or second-hand food as I call it)! It’s not that there is anything wrong with the food, I just don’t fancy it! Mr Grump qualified many years ago as a chef, so he does cook some really good meals. The thing is once I have eaten and enjoyed it, that is it. If there is any left,I don’t want it again the next day, and if he freezes it and gets it out for another day, it doesn’t look very appetising in the tupperware box, and I don’t want it! Anyway, he eats the leftovers himself so they don’t get wasted.

Marsha Ingrao Always Write

Having fun blogging with friends

Rachael's Thoughts

Lifestyle blog featuring the fabulous North East and beyond

My Window

Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art

WordPress.com Apps

Apps for any screen

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV

Jemverse

Life in words

Stuff and what if...

Exploring writing and the creative randomness of life. Snapshots of moments.

Aakashsoyanthone

Aakashsoyanthone

Gin & Lemonade

...with a twist.

Peacock Poetry

by Sam Allen

Tallis Steelyard

The jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Carolina Russo Art

Capturing Essence: Intuitive Watercolors, Fine Art, Illustrations, and Reiki-Infused Creations

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

We Are Holistic

Promoting a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Cindy Knoke

Photography, Birds and Travel

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

Fatty McCupcakes

Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets

From Michigan to Germany

A family from Michigan living abroad in Germany.