Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 447: Off-Key. — August 6, 2015

Episode 447: Off-Key.

I had to laugh today at work. As most of us know, some elderly people don’ exactly mince their words and they feel that they have earned the right to say exactly what they think. Although this is not always pleasant (A couple of days ago as I was trying to stop an elderly gent throttling himself with the bed remote control which had a long, curly wire attached to it, I was called a ‘stupid bi**h’ as he tried to bite my hand that was trying to release his grip on the remote).

Sometimes it can be funny though. The same man had earlier demanded that me and another nurse that were going to wash him ‘bloody get on with it, instead of just talking about it!’ (We like to inform our patients what is going to happen with them before we launch straight into stripping off their clothes)!

Anyway, today I was back in my usual bay with my ladies. I had gone on my break and when I came back, one of the Dementia Volunteers was playing his guitar and knocking out a few numbers that may be familiar to the patients, such as Buddy Holly, Beatles etc.

Now this chap is pretty old himself, and has a  ‘set’ of about 4 songs which he sings before moving onto the next bay, This is the same routine every week but I love it ,and so do most of the patients…..

Except one lady (she does not have dementia) who wanted him to ‘turn it down’. When told by the Healthcare Assistant that it was not polite to tell him to do that, and that he was giving up his own time to entertain people, she told her,

“well don’t expect me to applaud him!”

The patient had relayed all this to me when I went over to talk to her , and then with a wicked grin she looked up and said,

“Don’t you just hate bloody do-gooders”!

Episode 443: Taking Advantage — August 3, 2015

Episode 443: Taking Advantage

I always try my hardest

When I am at work

I’ll do anything they ask me

And never skive or shirk

Yet everyday they ask for more

Way above my grade

At first I was so flattered

At the impression I had made

Little did I realise

They got so much more for less

All the responsibility

Not to mention extra stress

I cannot be promoted

Unless I start anew

But for now it’s ok

Till the newbies learn what to do

But God forbid I mention

That I still don’t feel that well

Always feeling tired

and generally like hell!

‘Perhaps we should get you checked out

To see if you are still fit’

Yet when there was no-one else

They didn’t mind a bit!

Episode 418: The Delights of Decorating! — July 16, 2015

Episode 418: The Delights of Decorating!

Tomorrow Miss Hap breaks up for the summer holidays until early September! This is always a nightmare as far as childcare is concerned as myself and Mr Grump usually take a couple of alternate weeks off each, and for the others I work a couple of nights and a day over the weekend. We are lucky that we can do this, and Mr Grump has got the first week off next week.

Miss Hap has decided that she wants to totally redecorate her room as she has grown tired of it! We only did it a couple of years ago in the orange and lime green that she wanted. (It sounds a bit loud but I really like it actually, although I was a bit reluctant at first)! As her room was the last one to be done it was not next on my list at all, but as she had worked so hard at school lately despite a very rocky start, and won an award on Monday for German and Music I am considering it. I also have an ulterior motive in that her room is a mess, and I told her if she cleaned it out spotlessly I might think about it.

Now she has already been giving her orders about colour schemes and what she wants to do. In fact, bless her, she cut a load of letters out to stick on her wall already as you can see in the pic. Now I hate decorating (well the mess that goes with it), and get very stressed with furniture all over the place and other stuff strewn about, so I have decided that this part of the deal will go to Mr Grump!

He likes painting and decorating, and if he doesn’t get it done next week (along with some other chores I have given him to do), then he is off  the first week in August and can do it then. It’s a shame really, because I have got to work and he will have to do it all by himself (no doubt a lot of direction from Miss Hap too)!!

20150716_200407_wm

Episode 401: Sweating it Out! — July 2, 2015

Episode 401: Sweating it Out!

Well, I knew it wouldn’t last. I can’t stop myself (I think it is too far embedded into my genes), I am going to have to moan about the weather! Yes, I should be grateful that we have seen quite a bit of sunshine, and that it is lovely and hot. The problem is, we are not used to it!

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far here in good old England, but luckily I didn’t have to work so could wear what I wanted and also do what I wanted. Last night, however, the temperature did not decrease by much and it was stifling hot and muggy. I ended up trying to sleep with the fan whirring on full blast and an ice pack!  Bearing in mind, I am also at ‘that age’ when ladies get a little more flushed at certain times! I thought I was going to spontaneously combust!

This morning dawns another hot day, but cooler as it was only 28 Celsius (about 82 Fahrenheit). I reluctantly donned my thick cotton uniform and tights, plus clumpy shoes and bloody stupid belt to go to work.

As I walked onto the ward the heat hit me like a slap in the face! Great, putting on latex gloves and plastic aprons is going to make a lovely addition to my already boiled body (thank God the patients allowed us to open the windows so we could let a bit of (hot) air in!

Luckily for me I had to go off the ward for my annual top up resus training, in a room with air conditioning! Bliss! Well it was for 5 minutes until we had to pummel the dummy back to life with frantic CPR. Pretty exhausting stuff.

Anyway, I hot-foot it back to the ward for another face smacking dose of heat, only to discover the boss wants to take some photos as we all have to have our pictures up on the board outside the ward (presumably to terrify those not too ill to care)! At first I was a bit put out as I thought it would be better off being taken first thing in the morning but in this heat it makes no difference anyway.

So imagine this, a relative comes to see their poorly elderly relative, decides to have a look at which staff may happen to be looking after them, and sees my picture. Ruddy faced, ghastly grimace (we were told to smile) hair plastered to the head, and sweat dripping. Professional is not the word!

You’d run a bloody mile, talking your relative with you!

Episode 370: The Purpose of My Life! — June 11, 2015

Episode 370: The Purpose of My Life!

A Momma’s View has set a challenge and prompt that she had nominated me, and a few others for. In it, she asks for us to say what we think our purpose in life is and what we’ll take home when we leave.

It’s funny but this is something I rarely think about when I am feeling all happy and bright! It is more something I ponder when I am feeling down and grotty, However, this is going to be a positive post so any negative vibes can bugger off and leave me to my happy thoughts!

I always thought when I was younger that my purpose in life was going to be something to do with children. When I was growing up I always wanted to be a Nanny looking after other people’s children before settling down and having my own family with quite a few children of my own. After all, I was one of six myself.

Becoming an aunty when I was 15 years old only reinforced this wish, to nurture and look after children, and I used to get up in the night with my niece to give her bottles, and babysit as often as I could.

Well, for a number of reasons, it was not meant to be that I had lots of children (Although I do have some waiting for me in heaven), or even fulfil my wish to work with children as I went off and joined the Army instead!

Fast forward a couple of decades, a couple of ex-husbands and a  fair few jobs, ranging from working for the Department of Work and Pensions to working in a kebab shop. plus a few more in-between! Then I got a job in nursing!

I loved it. My daughter was very young then (about 2) and I was on my own, but I managed to get this job as a Healthcare Assistant at the Day Hospital, working mainly with the elderly who came in for a number of therapies and meetings, as well as to attend clinics. This seemed like the job I had been looking to do all this time.

However. my hours got changed after 18 months, and as my daughter was just starting school at 4 years old, and no longer attended nursery I had to look for something else! Funnily enough, it turned out to be in the local secondary school on  the ‘Student Desk.’ What an eye-opener. I have never been sworn at so much in my life! Suffice it to say it wasn’t what I had expected it to be (huge respect to you teachers)!

Anyway, I got back together with Mr Grump at this time after 25 years apart and we got married. I managed to get back into nursing and go to University for 2 years to train for a higher position as I wanted to learn more. Again, by choice, I work with the elderly.

I feel perhaps my purpose in life was not to work with children (although I am truly blessed to have my daughter), but rather to try to help look after elderly people. To offer them a friendly face and cheery disposition, and have a few laughs with them as well.

As for what I will take home with me. I think it will be the knowledge that I have tried really hard. I have tried to instill in my daughter old-fashioned manners and consideration, and despite the challenges we have both faced, I do know that she can be compassionate and kind to others when needed. I have tried to be a good friend, a good mum (not always easy), a good wife (3rd time lucky! The other 2 husbands were not exactly the best either) and a good worker (I know at least I got that bit right)!

I would like to nominate the following, should they wish to participate:

Hugh

Sue Vincent

Rich

Donna

Rob

Ritu

Joey

Episode 367: #BeWoW Post. I am OK With Me! — June 10, 2015

Episode 367: #BeWoW Post. I am OK With Me!

For our BeWoW post this week, Ronovan has suggested that we could write about being ok with ourselves.

This last year in particular, I have not been ok with myself at all. I have been knocked sideways with depression a couple of times, which meant time off work,frustration and anger at myself for not being able to cope, and lots of time spent wrapping myself up in a cocoon, shying away from being with others.

However, I have managed to break free of it (with the help of my doctor) in the last month and am feeling so much better. I am very lucky that I have such a great bunch of colleagues and an understanding boss, so going back to work was not as difficult as it could have been.

Work has been going really well, and there are a couple of exciting things on the horizon for me hopefully. This is particularly good news, as at one time, I was in a position where I didn’t know if I was ever going to get back to work, whether or not I even wanted to, or if I might lose my job anyway due to the time off. I realise how much I do love my job and that I am even quite good at it!

The fact that I have the daughter I always wanted, and a loving husband that knows me so well, and is so supportive makes life so much easier, as does having such a large family who I can rely on when I need to. This all contributes to making me feel more ok with myself as I know that I am loved, despite feeling to the contrary when I am in that awful slump.

I realise that there are still parts of me that I am not ok with, but that is the physical me, the outside which I am working on. The inner me is not that bad after all and I am finally OK with that!

Episode 360: If You Can’t Stand The Heat…. — June 5, 2015

Episode 360: If You Can’t Stand The Heat….

I mentioned before that us Brits like to moan about the weather and are never satisfied! Summer started off as a bit of a damp squib, but today was a balmy 25 degrees Celsius, (around 77 Fahrenheit) and we had a couple of thunderstorms chucked in to mix it up a bit. so it all amounted to a very humid and muggy day with bursts of beautiful hot sunshine

A couple of weeks ago my boss sent my to the laundry as one of the pens had leaked in my dress pocket leaving an unsightly small black blob over my left boob, and she wanted me to go and get it changed. I didn’t dare tell her that the stain on that dress was pretty old and the mess I had made on my dress the day before was much worse. Instead of leaving the ink stain alone (it was one of the gel pens) I decided to rub at it with an antibacterial wipe, thereby spreading this huge black mass over my entire boob!

I went to the laundry and sweet-talked the assistant into letting me have the one dress that was there (not many people wear the same uniform as me) and she put in an order for 3 more which would take a few days to arrive.

That was fine. I dropped off the other dresses the next day and was off last week anyway. I went back to collect my new dresses on Tuesday but was met by a very sour assistant who was not happy that I had managed to swap all my dresses, and moaned that her colleague ‘had only been there 5 mins and didn’t know what she was doing!’ Anyway, she gleefully told me that mine hadn’t arrived and they didn’t have any in my size (which she decided to say out loud).

Great, that left me with one dress. I went back again after a while. still not in. I wore the dress in yesterday and although I did manage to get it washed, was too lazy to iron it this morning so wore my tunic and trousers. It was unbearably hot up on that ward today. Most of us had sweat literally dropping off us (what a shame that fat doesn’t melt off in the heat). I wished I had ironed that dress!

The nice assistant from the laundry phoned me up to let me know that my dresses will not be ready until 17th JULY, for Christ’s sake! When I got home I had a lovely heat rash around my ankle just above my socks. Nice! Looks like that one dress is going to get a lot of wear over the next month and I am going to have to stop being too lazy to iron it I might even have to hope that the weather is grotty again!

Episode 339: Nurses Are The Best!!! — May 23, 2015

Episode 339: Nurses Are The Best!!!

Last night I went out for a meal with work colleagues as one of our Sisters was taking early retirement. It was a bittersweet occasion as, although it was lovely for so many of us to go out together (about 40 of us), it was sad that nearly half of the people who came had either retired or left the ward to work somewhere else.

When I started on the ward, four years ago, there were only 15 patients to look after! Many of the staff had worked together for years and they were a very close-knit group. I was nervous when I started, especially as I didn’t know any of them, plus I was undertaking a new role which nobody understood!

Well I needn’t have worried as they welcomed me with open arms, and gave me all the help and support I needed over the two-year training period, which certainly went a long way towards me qualifying at the end of it!

After only a year of working there, we had to amalgamate with another ward which led to a lot of uncertainty. Staff left, some deployed elsewhere, and we gained others, so that in the end, we had 27 patients and more than a few disgruntled staff. some of whom did not ‘sign up’ to work on an elderly ward!

We had a lot of ‘us and them’ situations as well, before we became a cohesive team that sorted out the differences and found a way to work harmoniously. Added to that a load more staff leaving, more uncertainty, changes in ward management, staff being used to cover other wards, and chronic shortages of staff in general, and it became quite a stressful place at times.We had enough to contend with due to the type of patients we looked after, especially as many of them liked to try to escape or wander off!

What I love about working there though is the kindness, professionalism and compassion of those nurses, They are all so dedicated to their jobs, and we have still managed to have forged a great team. Certainly for me, having had to have time off when I have been particularly unwell, coming back to their hugs, well wishes and concern makes me realise how lucky I am to work there.

Working for the NHS, us nurses get a lot of negative comments in the media who love to bring us down. Yes, there have been a few incidents that have been highlighted of appalling care and mistreatment of patients; however, those people do not represent us all. The majority of us do care, and are dedicated to looking after our patients.

Last night made me realise how proud I am to be part of the nursing community. I am only sorry that for one reason or another, we are losing so many wonderful nurses who are disillusioned with the lack of support,lack of staff, and increasing workload (paperwork) that means that they cannot carry out what they joined up to do!

Episode 338: Not A Positive Outcome! — May 21, 2015

Episode 338: Not A Positive Outcome!

I have read quite a few inspiring post lately about staying positive, focusing on all the good things rather than the negative. I am not too good at this but decided that it was time I turned things around and concentrated on the bright side of things.

Today was quite busy at work, and I was back to looking after my ladies again. It is a lovely day today and extremely hot and stuffy on the ward. Add to the mix a plastic apron and latex gloves (which are more often on than off) and it can get rather sweaty! (I should be a good couple of sizes smaller due to all the running around and sweating I do, but hey, I am not supposed to be negative)! Oh, and don’t forget to throw in the fact that my ladies get cold, so there are no windows open for longer than a nanosecond to let any air in either).

Anyway, a couple of ladies were upset due to an incident overnight, and I spent quite a lot of time talking to one of them to listen to her concerns, and give her some reassurance (Sister spoke to the other one). She seemed happy with what I had told her, and at the end of the conversation asked if it was ok if she could ask me a personal question. I of course, told her that it was, and she said,

“So when is your baby due?” Great! I have spent the last TWO MONTHS hula hooping trying to whittle myself a bloody waist, and that is what I get!  I was mortified (and so was she when I told her that I was not in fact pregnant). I am trying to find a positive to this, and the only thing I can come up with is at least she thinks I am still young enough to have a baby!

Episode 334: Compliments and Kisses! — May 19, 2015

Episode 334: Compliments and Kisses!

Us Brits are not very good at accepting compliments as a rule. We have that kind of self-deprecating humour, which I know I use a lot of the time. (I feel that it is better for me to get in first with the put-downs before someone else beats me to it).

It’s weird, that if someone does tell me that I look nice in an outfit, for example, I will soon draw attention to how big my tummy looks in it, or perhaps my chunky legs spoil the look. Whatever it is, whoever gave me the compliment probably soon regretted it; not only that, they also now know yet even more of my flaws that just maybe hadn’t been too obvious before I helpfully pointed them out!

The thing is, for me in particular, I was brought up to believe that you should be modest, never boast about anything and that it was not nice to be a ‘big-head!’ I don’t remember getting many compliments as a child probably to reinforce the message that ‘nobody likes a show-off!’

It is tricky to know where to draw the line as well. I was so proud when I graduated as it was only a couple of years ago, and therefore something I had to work pretty hard at to achieve, yet it felt really awkward when I told people about it, as I didn’t want them to think that I was ‘up myself!’

I am getting better at it now, especially at work, where we do get compliments at times;(in fact I got not one but two kisses today, which was sweet as I don’t usually look after the men)! However, I still can’t resist making a detrimental joke about myself most of the time!

What makes you feel awkward?

Marsha Ingrao Always Write

Having fun blogging with friends

Rachael's Thoughts

Lifestyle blog featuring the fabulous North East and beyond

My Window

Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art

WordPress.com Apps

Apps for any screen

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV

Jemverse

Life in words

Stuff and what if...

Exploring writing and the creative randomness of life. Snapshots of moments.

Aakashsoyanthone

Aakashsoyanthone

Gin & Lemonade

...with a twist.

Peacock Poetry

by Sam Allen

Tallis Steelyard

The jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Carolina Russo Art

Capturing Essence: Intuitive Watercolors, Fine Art, Illustrations, and Reiki-Infused Creations

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

We Are Holistic

Promoting a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Cindy Knoke

Photography, Birds and Travel

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

Fatty McCupcakes

Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets

From Michigan to Germany

A family from Michigan living abroad in Germany.