I’m afraid I am one of life’s worriers. If I have something to worry about then so much the better, if not I will just worry because things are going well, and that always means that something bad is about to happen! I have tried to change my ways, even on occasion, being positive, but to no avail. It just doesn’t suit me being a ‘glass half-full’ type of person!
Now don’t get me wrong, being a worrier does not equate to being a miserable sod. Far from it (although I am one of those unfortunate people who has the type of face that complete strangers feel the need to say to me, “Cheer up love, it may never happen)” well actually it has now they have said that to me for no reason, but I laugh it off through gritted teeth, as to come out with a rude reply would have ME worrying that I have offended THEM!
I worry when I meet new people because I am usually a little quiet until I get to know someone A couple of years ago I applied for University as part of my job role. I didn’t know any of the other 25 students who were going to be studying with me, and my God didn’t I worry about that!…Would I be the oldest student there? Would I appear stupid as I am so quiet? All this kind of stuff would run through my head. However it didn’t stop me going for it, and I made some really good friends, AND even gave presentations in front of the group (we had no choice, but I did it)!
I worry about my daughter constantly. She tends to say exactly what she thinks, and it can (and does) get her into trouble sometimes. She has problems understanding diplomacy and tact, and struggles to understand what effect her words might have on people’s feelings (She has Asperger’s).Last night at her school’s ‘academic review’ one of her teachers was asking her how she enjoyed ‘Community Day’ (The school is divided up into various communities and once a month they do fun activities and games) “I can’t even remember it” sulked my daughter who was mad because she didn’t want to go to her review. Mr Grump and I cringed as she gave one monotonous answer after another, being deliberately obtuse to make everyone aware of her displeasure at being dragged along. She didn’t even cheer up when she was praised for her achievements! This of course made me worry what the teacher must have thought of us, as well as how I was going to teach my daughter that some things in life have to be endured, with good grace, and a bit of enthusiasm! After all, we were all there for her benefit.
Being clumsy of course, has its own disadvantages when you are a worrier like me. I have lost count of the times I have made a grand entrance, rather than the subtle one I would have preferred, due to the fact that I have tripped over something which has led to me stumbling headlong into the room. On one occasion at work I had gone into a side room to dress an old lady’s badly ulcerated legs. She was not the most timid of patients and liked to speak her mind. Anyway, I spent a long time ensuring a made a good job of the legs, and that she was comfortable. As I was cleaning the metal equipment trolley I had used afterwards, I misaligned the top tray so that it landed with a clatter and an almighty crash to the floor, startling us both, . “Get out of here you noisy bitch” raged my patient!
I know that to some extent, everyone worries about something, after all it is human nature. I just wish that I could lighten up a bit at times, and just ‘go with the flow’ instead of over-analysing things, and making something out of nothing. I long to breeze through life without a care…but I know that even if my glass was half full rather than half empty, I would probably knock it over anyway!
I would love to know if there are any other worriers out there!