• You bend down to pick something up, and not only do your knees creak more than a door that needs oiling, but you find it really difficult to get back up again!
  • You are too vain to wear your glasses outside of work, but can’t read something unless you hold it up, do the sliding back and forth manoeuvre in front of your face and add in a squint for good measure.
  • You still spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but it is normally because you have to get out so many times a night to go to the loo!
  • High heels are no more than an inch and a half; shoes are for comfort not style!
  • You snore louder than the dog, and have even woken yourself up!
  • You can no longer tolerate much alcohol. The three-day hangover you now get after a couple of glasses of wine is never worth it!
  • Whenever you go anywhere, you have to remember to take your medications with you!
  • Forget the sexy lingerie, it is practical garments that cover the essentials properly!
  • You become rather ‘set in your ways’ and get mad if someone buggers up your routine.
  • If someone rings after 9pm, you are outraged that they would be calling ‘at this time of night’!
  • You try to sing along to your favourite song, and realise (a) it has been remixed, mucked about with and re-released or (b) you have forgotten the words!
  • You are married to a Grumpy Old Git!