‘Motivation’ is the prompt word we have for Linda’s Just Jot it January today. I would say that normally I am quite a motivated person. I know what I have to do, and can usually get stuck straight into it. I am a creature of habit and routines, so many of the mundane things I need to do are carried out on automatic pilot almost. I don’t need to think too much about it, I just get on with it.

When I took part in NaNoWriMo, I was not sure that I would be able to get the motivation to write every day in order to achieve the required word count at the end of it. It was something that I really wanted to achieve though and I wanted to keep up the enthusiasm and momentum that I had at the start of the month. I ended up setting aside a couple of hours each night purely for writing, no distractions if possible. That was my way of getting myself motivated, incorporating my writing into a routine.

Then depression sets in and it all goes out the window.

Isn’t is strange how just getting washed and dressed can seem like such a monumental task? Why bother, when it is easier to just sit around in pyjamas. Who needs to do housework? After all, it is only going to get messed up again, and everywhere is cluttered up anyway. Do I really have to go out and see people when all I want to do is stay at home and be on my own? I don’t feel like talking and smiling and ‘being nice.’ I wanted to get stuck into some sewing projects but have only had one or two days lately where I have had the oomph to get everything out and do it. I was pleased when I did make something, though. It was even a struggle getting myself to my CBT session (Cognitive behavioural therapy) as I was so anxious!

However, I still manage to find the motivation to go countless times to the kitchen and get myself a snack. I can also be sociable here in the blogosphere chatting with people and posting ‘funny’ stories and poems. I can even still play Candy Crush for a while.

Hopefully, my missing motivation will soon find its way back!