Some time ago I read a post by Wendy on the Rock where she talks about her love for bad language, particularly the ‘F’ word and how this used to upset her mother to hear her swearing at one time, but now she has become used to it.
I could relate to this post, mainly as it brought back memories of how strict my mum and stepdad were when my siblings and I were growing up. I have to say that as a little girl, I was not much of a swearer, in fact, I was reticent and a bit of a ‘Goody Two Shoes’. Well, truth be known, back in the ‘olden days’ we didn’t hear much bad language, not even on the TV (Mind you I had to be in bed before eight until I was about 12 years old)!
I never heard my mother swear at all, growing up, (I don’t count ‘bugger’, ‘bloody’ and ‘Christ’ as swearing. She did let the odd ‘shit’ slip out though (Ha Ha! bit of a double entendre there). Woe betide any of us that dared say any of those words though, We would be threatened as Wendy was, with our mouths being washed out with soap. My stepfather was a bit different though as he had a broad West Country ‘oooh-arrr’ type of accent that made us laugh, especially when he described someone falling as ‘going arse over tit’. Commonplace now but shocking to us kids back then. Mum would give him a bit of a look, but he was oblivious to it anyway!
I remember when I was about nine years old and desperate to grow up quickly, was upset about my deficiency in the boob department. We had been singing Christmas Carols at school. A line from ‘In The Bleak Midwinter’ had piqued my interest, which was …’a breastful of milk and a manger full of hay’. Hmmm, did that mean that if I drank a lot of milk, then a would get big boobs, which I desperately wanted ( I was very innocent back then). Anyway, I asked my Mum for a glass of milk, and for some reason told her why I wanted it. She asked me to repeat what I had just said,
“To make my breastful of milk grow bigger,” I chirped. WRONG! I got a clout for that!. We did not discuss intimate body parts in our house, not even allowed to say ‘bum’. Bottom was the correct term for everything front and back, girls and boys! Sex education we learned at school (or from other kids), and I dreaded telling my Mum when puberty started!
I would never swear in front of my older brothers and sisters either, particularly my eldest sister as I would probably get a smack off her as well (she dobbed me in to my Mum when she found a packet of cigarettes on me when I was 13)!!! Funnily enough, Mum wasn’t as mad about that as she would be about us swearing!
My younger sister was and is a lot braver, and much feistier than I am. I remember once when we were teenagers; she was sleeping in my room, and as we used to fight like cat and dog then. I for once got furious and told her to ‘piss off”. Oh, no, Mum’s room was next door, and sure enough, my stepdad yelled, but at my sister, not me! No-one thought I had it in me to use such language!
Now of course. Mum doesn’t seem to mind her grand-children swearing, in fact, she has been known to come out with a few choice words herself. Not only that she openly talks about sex (CRINGE), and has a filthy mind we’ve discovered. When we have large family gatherings, we quite often end up playing games, and although they always start reasonably innocently, ‘consequences’ ends up making an appearance, and the filthier, the better!
For those unfamiliar with it, everyone starts off with a bit of paper, you write a girl’s name on it, fold it over, pass it to the next person and they write a boy’s name on it, fold it over, pass it on. Then write where they met, what they did, what he said, she said and how it ended up each time folding it over and passing it on. When that is over, you take it in turns to read out all the combinations. It is a playground game really, but you can get some interesting scenarios if you have a dirty mind!
It is odd though that I still have that fear (or respect) in me that I will not swear in front of my Mum!
My mum is the same Sis! The one day frustrating the better of her and the word Sh*t leaked out of her mouth! That was funny!!!!
HAHA! It is funny when they get mad and let out a swear word! 🙂
Echoes of my upbringing there, except everyone I knew had a Westcountry accent because that’s where we were!
My mother is similar in that now I am safely (if not successfully) in mature (in years only) adulthood she has relaxed a tad. Judging from the BBC after 9pm, we all have I think!
I agree, we have all relaxed out attitudes over the years. Mary Whitehouse will be spinning in her grave! ??
Interesting game there – consequences. Our family usually plays cards. 😉 (Though some swearing still seems to slip out…)
We like other games too but this one is usually suggested once the drinks have been flowing for a while!! 🙂
I only ever heard my mum swear once, and that was when she discovered that my step-brother had sneaked out of his bedroom and spent the night with his girlfriend who was using the spare room. They may have both been early twenties, but sleeping together was a no-no in our house.
Then, when mum had dementia, she started to swear a lot. It was hard to take in, but I always put it down to not being her inside that shell. These days, I hear both children and parents swearing all the time. Times have certainly changed. Judy.
Sleeping together was a no-no in our house too, Hugh!
I hear so much swearing now too, but I don’t like it that much!!
You’re a better woman than me. ?
Ha HA! I am more of a coward, that’s all! 🙂
I think back in the day swearing was not used so much in family environs with children about. Almost, it seems form comments, a sort of unspoken etiquette. Certainly my grandparents and parents never swore directly in front of me; but given my granddad was in the war I suspect queens English was not used a great deal in times of extreme stress. Could be a parent thin; trying to set good examples and all that. If its a generation thing then maybe it will bleed out as modern society finds it everywhere. A rich language reduced to a few words. Terrible stuff. Clearly my own writing varies because different characters have different builds. I used swearing for Jack, and one person way back said does he have to swear? Crumbs…I figured said person didn’t know many auto mechanics!!
I have just fished this comment out of my SPAM folder Gary, but at least my site is back and I can read it! I can certainly understand your use of swearing for your characters. particularly mechanics!!!!
Crumbs, I just fished two of Em’s out if mine today too. Flipping conspiracy for BUYB folk going on lol.
I’m my humble opinion, if you want characters to feel real, you have to use language they would use even if swearing is not something we like. I mean a queens English mechanic?? Wouldn’t really work would it lol
I know I am no stranger to the SPAM bin too.
No, it certainly wouldn’t work with the mechanic! ???
Bah to spam bins then. I actually tend not to check mine…when I had nobody commenting I got out of the habit lol.
I do check mine now and again but more so lately due to other problems with my blog! 🙂
Flipping things are great when they work well, then the gremlins bite and it gets most frustrating! I’ve upped the checks on mine too recently. Hate to think someone feels ignored because it’s been filtered out and a month flashes by before I look!
I know what you mean, I am the same,, Gary. I don’t want anyone to feel ignored 🙂
Thanks to this exchange I’m checking daily now!! Probably a good habit to cultivate in hindsight ?
Yes, I have made it a habit too 🙂
I don’t swear in front of my mom either!
Absolutely not! 🙂
Thanks so much for following me, Judy!
I certainly didn’t want to lose touch with you when I moved to my new blog!
I’ll be moving too….. sometime!! I can’t wait to get it going!!
Ooooh, keep me updated, I bet you are excited :–)
Of course I will! Big announcement coming soon!
My family was very much the same as I was growing up. And, because of it, I still hardly ever swear – maybe a few times a year. But, I still have never used a swear word in front of my parents. They ruined me for life! ? Or, maybe not. ?
HA! I think it is great that you still have that respect your parents by not swearing in front of them. I must admit that I do swear quite a bit whilst driving!! 🙂
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Judy E Martin
Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy, in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just finished University as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, 'Rhymes of the Times.' I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together, and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series also. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.
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