2015-01-09T19:30:39+00:00

Author: Judy E Martin

Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy, in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just finished University as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, 'Rhymes of the Times.' I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together, and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series also. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.

Episode 94: An Ode To Music.

January 9, 2015/Judy E Martin/11 Comments

I do love to listen to music

It really brightens my day

When I am feeling all down and depressive

I dig out some good records to play!

Although my taste is now dated

It doesn’t really matter to me

I can still strut my stuff in my front room

To Spandau Ballet or perhaps ABC!

What about good old Madonna?

She is still going strong

Or perhaps a tune by The Communards

Will have me singing along!

My husband likes to show me his ‘twerking’

To hits that are from yesteryear

It will always set me off laughing

As he is seriously lacking a rear!

Some songs can make me so happy

That I just want to get up and dance

Others will make me all weepy

Remembering a failed young romance!

I am very thankful for music

For lifting me when I am low

It is something that I can rely on

To persuade some of the sadness to go!

Episode 93: Four Wheels On My Wagon…..

January 9, 2015/Judy E Martin/4 Comments

I thought I would give my blog a bit of a make-over. Seeing as this is the start of a new year, in which I hope my blog continues to grow and improve, there is no time like the present to set the wheels in motion…….

Slight problem though! One of the wheels has fallen off, plus the brakes are jammed on! I seem to be incapable of doing what I thought was the simplest of things. I wanted to insert an audio link. Yes, that;s all, a silly little audio link. You would think that it would be easy peasy. Well so it might be for a four-year old , but I can’t bloody do it! Even after 2 hours of trying.

I think I must be missing some sort of ‘common sense’ gene somewhere along the line! I worked in an office for 10 years for Christ’s sake and I can’t even do a teeny-weeny link!. It didn’t start well when I couldn’t find an audio programme on my laptop. I didn’t want to use the video as I want to try to GAIN followers not scare them off. Anyway, I did it on my phone and (eventually) managed to send it to my laptop.

Great, so far so good, and it only took about an hour to do it! I had my post all ready and all I needed to do was to insert the audio link and ‘Bob’s your Uncle.’ Sorted! Only no, it was not sorted. WordPress did not like my audio clip (I know my voice is a little deep after years of smoking, but some might find it soothing)! It was the wrong type of file. There was a list of right types of files but of course I couldn’t convert mine to that type, and I think even if I do, then I need to upgrade (story of my life)!!!

So sod it! I will have to rack my brains for some other ideas instead.

Episode 92: Barrel of Laughs!

January 8, 2015/Judy E Martin/6 Comments

I’ve noticed lately that Mr Grump has got a little pot belly on him. He still looks skinny,but there is this little bit of podge around his tummy that he needs to get rid of.He has also been giving our dog Roxy a few too many treats, as he spoils her rotten. Now when she flops down on my lap or crawls over me to get to him, I am almost winded,as she seems substantially heavier than before.

It goes without saying that I too need to lose weight. I am sick of looking like a barrel; no shape at all, and whereas before my legs were quite slim, they are beginning to resemble tree trunks now and that won’t do. Having watched a programme on TV this morning about people that were ‘too fat to work’ I put down the nutcrackers (we still have a few nuts left over from Christmas) and decided that I had better get a grip of myself! (not that hard really as there is rather a lot of me to grip).

I don’t want to end up like some of these unfortunate souls who get ridiculed in the street, not to mention suffer from all sorts of ailments associated with being overweight. However sometimes it is a slow process that gradually creeps up until you get on the scales and freak out! I think it is time to nip things in the bud and take action.

I was really cross to hear about one of our British ‘Celebrities’ who won ‘The Apprentice’ some years ago, who stated that she would never employ a fat person as they were lazy, or words to that effect. She then said there was no excuse whatsoever to be overweight and to prove it she put on nearly 4 stone (about 50 lbs, or 25kg roughly) which she said she would lose again to show how easy it is!

She bloody did it as well, and in fact lost more that she gained in only 3 months! To top it off she made a TV programme about it (You can read about it here if you are interested).On the one hand this makes me feel guilty as there is no excuse for me being overweight; on the other hand it makes me annoyed, as some people do genuinely have problems losing weight, and she is belittling them ( I cannot include myself in this group as I just love my food).

Anyway, I have a habit of comfort eating, especially at the moment, and fruit just doesn’t cut it for me like a packet of crisps does! I wish I could be like Mr Grump who sometimes ‘doesn’t feel hungry’ . I always feel hungry. Well the unhealthy snacks will have to go, as will the rather generous portions Mr Grump serves up at mealtimes (He loves feeding people up, – and dogs too for that matter)!

Mr Grump’s weakness is beer (or bitter to be precise). He does like to have a few cans at the weekend to relax, but they have been taking their toll, hence the ‘muffin top’, and the loosening of his belt. Mind you it won’t be long before his stomach is as flat as his arse as he is pretty disciplined (unlike me)! I think he will have more of a problem not being able to feed the rest of us up than he will losing weight.

Miss Hap will of course be appalled. She is pretty solid but burns off a tremendous amount of energy due to her constantly being on the go. The mere mention of the words ‘diet’ and ‘healthy’ will put her in a strop, and it will be a nightmare getting her to eat her meals. (It is bad enough already when she thinks that her ‘cook from frozen’ school dinners taste better than our home-cooked offerings).

Poor old Roxy will no longer be getting the odd sly sausage, or the left-overs from Miss Hap’s plate after dinner. She will no doubt be sulking along with Miss Hap when we get started on our new regime.

It’s going to be a bit fraught around here for a while, I reckon!

Episode 91: Red Alert!

January 7, 2015/Judy E Martin/11 Comments

I’ve got a guilty pleasure……sometimes,very early in the morning, when there is nobody else up, I can indulge in it. Occasionally if Miss Hap gets up early enough, she joins me, and we both get wrapped up in it for a while, enjoying ourselves immensely. Yes… I love watching the Teleshopping channels!

The jewellery channels are ones that we both particularly enjoy. We marvel at some of the ‘pieces’ (see, I even know the jargon) and are amazed at how much there is for the presenters to say about them. They waffle on and on for ages, and then get out their little rulers to give measurements and dimensions. Finally comes the climax, where the price dramatically drops, and the phone lines go mad! I just find them very entertaining.

I occasionally watch the channels where they are advertising some intense workout. I become mesmerised as all these fit young people push themselves into ‘Oblivion’ or whatever it is called. I envy their bodies but know that after 10 mins of such gruelling exercise. I would end up at the local A & E with either a heart attack or serious injury.

Oh no, those channels are not for me. However, if any of them have gadgets on them, then I am all ears (and eyes too for that matter). I simply MUST have that X5 mop I have seen advertised. I am not that keen on housework and I am sure that this brilliant invention is the answer to all my chores! The problem is, Mr Grump won’t let me have one! How can he not be impressed by all the different functions that it has? Why is he not amazed that it uses no chemicals, only steam ?(Yes, I know, STEAM, and it even cleans grease up)! Doesn’t he realise that it comes in different colours? Even red (which matches all our kitchen utensils; a factor which is of course of vital importance when choosing a product)! I am bitterly disappointed that he won’t let me have one but I will eventually wear him down I am sure.

I think the reason might have something to do with the fact that he is still smarting over a set of frying pans I was seduced into buying that cost a bloody fortune! I had seen them advertised on the same channel as the mop. They looked wonderful, non stick, easy to clean and guess what? Yes, they came in red!

I had taken my Mum out shopping and we happened to go to a large new homeware store that had recently opened.As we were walking around I caught sight of a TV advertising said pans and I sauntered over to have a closer look. As they were on special offer I just HAD to get one – of each size, plus the special lid! Mum bought the small one as well, and we were pleased with our bargains!

Later on when Mr Grump got home from work, and I showed him my new pans, he was not at all happy, especially as he spotted the receipt in the bag. His face went as red as those pans and I probably could have saved myself some money and fried an egg on him, boiling as he was! Anyway,our old pans (in my opinion) were well past their prime; they were old and ugly.

To make a point, sulky Mr Grump has steadfastly refused to use my lovely new pans and I have even resorted to doing a bit of cooking myself just so they are not neglected, and they are wonderful!

Am I the only one that is a sucker for a gadget?

Episode 90: Banishing The Blues…..

January 6, 2015/Judy E Martin/10 Comments

Today is one of those days….I am not feeling so great, as I have been fighting with anxiety for a while now, and it has temporarily won. However, I will take stock, re-arm and continue to fight until it surrenders…

In the meantime, I thought I would drag myself out of the inertia (I haven’t slept so much for ages) and try to make myself feel and look better by painting my toenails(the logical choice for someone who is severely lacking in motivation to do anything). I have recently bought some lovely polish and set about the job. Well I needn’t have bothered! The end result looks like it has been applied by a two-year old wearing boxing gloves! What a bloody mess, my toes have nice dark green blobs all over them. Some of which are actually on the nails as intended, but most are liberally dotted everywhere else!

I am however, going to try to do a bit of housework. God knows I am hard-pressed to want to do that at any time, let alone when I am feeling like this, but a fellow anxiety sufferer whose blog I follow, finds that she enjoys it, and it helps her,(as you can read here). So I will try and take a leaf out of Mary-Anne’s book and give it a go.

Mind you, I cannot get as excited about putting the rubbish out as she does. If there is one thing that annoys me, it is a full-up rubbish bin, and I usually ~~nag~~ ask Mr Grump to take it out. He will no doubt be pleased to be relieved of this duty for a while whilst I try out my cleaning rampage to see if that helps me fight the enemy!

I think having a positive attitude helps, and perhaps that is where I am always going wrong. It seems to be a bit of a trait in my family. I know both of my sisters have mentioned that they too seem to look on the negative side of things. It is funny, but it seems to be quite a difficult habit to get out of! That is something else I need to take in hand and gain control of.

Yep, I need to get myself up off of the settee. I have become far too attached to it today. I nodded off on it earlier, and woke up feeling cold and groggy, then lazed about watching TV which was pretty depressing. I notice that naughty Roxy (our dog) dived straight into the comfy corner spot as soon as I got up to use my laptop! She certainly doesn’t care if she sleeps all day.

I think I might dig out one of my favourite 80s CDs to blast out whilst I am cleaning up. I fancy a bit of Human League or Depeche Mode might lighten the mood… Well it’s time to stop procrastinating…off I go into the fray!

Episode 89: A Party Is Not A Party Without A Hedgehog!

January 5, 2015/Judy E Martin/12 Comments

Yesterday as I was feeding one of my old ladies her pudding of jelly and ice cream, it got me thinking about party food. (Yes my mind constantly wanders to food, and I don’t usually need any prompting either)! I’m talking about the good old party food of yesteryear.

Nowadays kids’ birthday parties are a bit of a minefield. You have to send out the right invitations, which are to include at least half the class. spend a small fortune on entertainment, (bouncy castles, magicians, ds or whatever), or go to a venue that specialises in holding birthday parties, like soft play areas, the bowling alley, or even having a go at the laser gun experience! Whatever you choose, make sure you provide the good old party bag crammed with goodies, or there will be many disappointed kids, and you will not be popular with their parents either.

Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned birthday party, like the ones we had as kids (Well, if you are as old as me you did)! I’m talking about getting your best party outfit on, and trotting off with a present that had been thoughtfully picked, and wrapped nicely. There were probably only about another 4 or 5 kids there, plus the family of the birthday child, but you still enjoyed yourselves.

The spread was always my favourite (and still is). I love all the little picky bits, cocktail sausages on sticks, vol-au-vents with tinned salmon, or even egg mayonnaise (who has those nowadays?), I love the wobbly jellies that had been moulded into bunny shapes or something fancy, the blancmange, the little triangle sandwiches with ham, or paste or sandwich spread (you can actually still get that)! The pork pies, cut into little pieces, home-made sausage rolls and jam tarts, (my mouth is watering just thinking about it all laid out on the table), and finally the piece de resistance the cheese and pineapple chunk hedgehog! Oh yes, a party is not a party without a spud wrapped in tin foil that is studded with cocktail sticks containing chunks of cheese and (tinned) pineapple! Actually some people used little pickled onions with cheese, Either way,my happiness was complete once I has spotted that on the table!

The games were simple but fun. Pass the Parcel was the favourite. One of the adults would put a record whilst the parcel was being passed around then it would abruptly stop and a tussle would begin as to who unwrapped the layer. Similarly In Musical Chairs, once the music had stopped there would be a load of pushing and shoving as to who sat down on the chairs. Musical Statues was less of a contact game,but a scrap could still break out over who moved first!

Ahhh yes, the fun we used to have! There was none of this ‘everyone has to win something’ malarky. Oh no, if you lost, then tough! Harsh maybe but it ‘built character’. There were a few sad faces not to mention scratched records by the end of the games! Tucking into the food, soon put a smile back on the kids’ faces and they happily sang ‘Happy Birthday’ whilst the (usually home made) birthday cake was brought in.

I think it’s such a shame that on the whole, these parties rarely exist, and everything has become so commercialised now, plus expectations are so much more, I have to say they have not been entirely forgotten though. Over the years, I have given Miss Hap the modern version of the birthday party which she enjoys with her friends, but I always do a little ‘birthday tea’ for the family, where I have of course got a cheese and pineapple hedgehog in pride of place at the table, surrounded by all the other party food I like!

Episode 88: Footprints in the Snow…..

January 3, 2015/Judy E Martin/8 Comments

Well it seems that the holidays are now well and truly over. I have already been back to work a week and my days seem to be a bit topsy-turvy at the moment; some people don’t even start back at work until Monday, and are still wringing out the last drop of holiday cheer (not that I blame them), whereas I am back into the swing of things with gusto!

When I came home from work today, Mr Grump had taken down all of the decorations and they have been put away ready for next year. I have to say that for me, once New Years Day is over then it is time to put everything away (Mr Grump was a bit tender-headed on New Year’s Day and it didn’t get done). I like the house to be back to normal; although it looks bare without the decorations, cards and lights, it is uncluttered and fresh, ready to face the year ahead

There is something so exciting about the beginning of a new year stretching out in front of you.It ‘s like virgin snow, unblemished, just waiting for you to decide which way you will go. There are many pathways but they are all hidden under the snow, and won’t become visible for some time, so you have to choose wisely. Many people make resolutions so that they can try and improve their journey through life, but as I have mentioned before, this doesn’t work for me.

Yes I definitely want to try new things this year. There is always something new to learn, and I like to challenge myself to gain more skills. Last year it was learning how to sew. Well, actually I mean make things, things I can wear, or things I can use. I did make things. I made myself and Miss Hap matching circle skirts out of a fabric that had different coloured fish on it. I was pleased with them, thought they were nice and summery. Miss Hap was NOT impressed. It is not cool to have a home-made (badly) skirt, and it is doubly uncool for your Mum to have the matching one. She did however like the advent bag, I made her as I didn’t realise how big it was, and I had to buy a chocolate bar rather than a chocolate coin or something so it didn’t look lost in the giant bag!

My sewing endeavours will still continue this year, as there are definitely improvements to be made on that front (learning to follow a pattern correctly is always a good place to start)! However there are many other things that are waiting for me to try my hand at this year, and I shall no doubt be lunging at them in my usual gung-ho manner. you never know, I might even find something that I am good at!

Episode 87: New Year, Old Habits…….

January 2, 2015/Judy E Martin/5 Comments

Hello 2015! I am so pleased that 2014 has gone, and I now look forward to seeing what delights the New Year has in its sights for me.

I have not really made any New Years resolutions as:

They are doomed to failure, I hate to be told that I MUST do something on a certain day, it always usually ends up going wrong.
I feel that I hardly have anything left to give up. I have given up smoking, I rarely drink, and no longer eat sweet foods, so there is bugger all left to enjoy, let alone give up!
There are enough miserable people at the moment giving up this and that, I don’t need to add to that number.

Anyway, some things never change, despite my efforts. For example,my tendency to be a little accident-prone and just a tad clumsy is still prevalent. My boss very kindly bought all of us staff a lovely china mug for Christmas; each of them different, presumably to match our personalities.Mine was a blue, flowery one which I decided to take home rather than leave it at work where it might get nicked or broken.

Both me and Mr Grump drink tea all day long, and I also like the odd coffee now and again. I have a large mug for my tea, but I only drink a small coffee so my new cup was perfect for that. I was a little bit grouchy in the morning as I had gone up to get ready and when I had come back downstairs Mr Grump STILL hadn’t done either the washing up from the night before, or made me a drink. I put the kettle on myself, snatched my cup off the draining board, and saw that it was dirty which annoyed me. I turned back to the sink to wash it up just as Mr Grump was trying to get his cup to the kettle so that I could make HIM a drink! Anyway, you guessed it, SMASH! Mr Grump’s huge, chunky ‘Grumpy Old Git’ cup smashed my delicate china one to smithereens! For once I didn’t say anything, my silence spoke volumes, and Mr Grump scuttled out of the kitchen and out of my way for a bit!

I still had to go to work New Year’s Day, especially as I had Christmas off this year. Mr Grump was going to have to dive me in for about 7am or so, and we were all going to have a quiet New Year’s Eve, Anyway, out of the blue my younger sister invited us to hers in the afternoon for a little while. Her daughter and her fiance ended up coming round and eventually we all decided to go to visit my Mum who also lives locally. Mr Grump met us there and i noticed that he was having a beer, and I knew what was coming….

Sure enough, after a few very loud and raucous games, they all decided to head back to my sister’s to continue the party. It was decided that Miss Hap and Mr Grump would stay the night at my sister’s and I would get a taxi to work in the morning. I must admit I was a bit upset but didn’t want to be a killjoy. After all it was New Year’s Eve. Mr Grump walked me home and then fussed around for a bit before I finally told him to get going as I had blogging to do and I wanted a bit of peace!

I had a bit of a sniffle feeling sorry for myself but soon got lost in the blogosphere catching up on those I hadn’t read and writing my final post of 2014. I decided that I would see who else was working and try to get a lift in from someone else who lives in the area as there are quite a few of us. Luckily I managed to get that sorted so I was pleased about that.I was just getting ready to go to bed when Miss Hap phoned to say that she was coming home as she missed me and that my other niece’s husband would bring her as they had just turned up there.

That was really nice so we had a little chat, and went to bed. It took me ages to get off to sleep for some reason, but i finally nodded off only to be awoken what seemed like 10 mins later by a bumbling and stumbling Mr Grump.He told me,

“I deshided to come home to be with my baby, Itsh still New Yearsh Eve”.

I asked what the time was and told it was only a quarter to midnight. Great! Although I appreciated the fact that he wanted to be with me and had staggered home, he had woken me up! I went back to sleep just in time to be woken up again by the various fireworks that had been let off to bring in the New Year. Lovely. Mr Grump was snoring nicely in time with the dog to accompany the bangs and whizzes of the fireworks.

I did make rather a lot of noise at 5.30 when I got up, making sure I blow dried my hair in the bedroom with the light on of course. Mr Grump got up at 6.30 to see me off to work, how sweet!

Yes. although it is a new year, some things will no doubt remain unchanged!

2014 in review

January 1, 2015/Judy E Martin/Leave a comment

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,300 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 38 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Episode 86: Goodbye To 2014!

December 31, 2014/Judy E Martin/10 Comments

Well 2014 has been quite a year for me in more ways than one! The beginning of the year started pretty quietly, nothing untoward. March was a bittersweet month, On the one hand Mr Grump got made redundant from his job,which was a major worry, and on the other, it was my graduation from University, which I was very excited about. It was a wonderful day seeing all of the friends I made, plus sharing the occasion with Mr Grump and my younger sister.

Luckily Mr Grump managed to find a job quite quickly which he loves, so it turned out to be a blessing in disguise that he lost the other one. We also had the results back from the eleven plus test that Miss Hap took. She passed with flying colours, which meant that she was eligible to go to the Grammar School. Everyone was so proud of her, and she herself was thrilled that she actually did it!

May was Miss Hap’s 11th birthday, and after a massive panic getting her a passport on time, she had a wonderful time in Disneyland Paris with her natural father, as well as the celebrations we had for her at home. Not long after this her place was confirmed at the Grammar, and we had all gone to have a look around it.

Then everything came crashing down for me, and I suffered a severe bout of depression which I could not shake off, I was unable to go to work (or even go out) for two months and it was an awful time for us all. Slowly,with a lot of help I got back on an even keel, and things returned to normal.

In October I decided to stop smoking, after 35 years (my entire adult life, plus some of my childhood as well). Although I am still smoke free, I have been tempted on more than one occasion to take it up again, especially as I kept getting throat infections, and other illnesses I thought I wouldn’t get as often being a ‘non smoker’!

A couple of weeks before I gave up smoking I took up blogging on the suggestion of my younger sister. This has proved to be a massive boost for me. I have really enjoyed writing the posts, although some have been silly, some serious, and one upset the school orchestra (oops), I hope that on the whole they have been funny or amusing which is what I intended them to be when I started.

I am privileged to have ‘met’ some wonderful people in the three months that I have been blogging. I cannot believe how supportive and friendly everyone has been to me. I didn’t know what to expect, so I was pleasantly surprised at the response I have had to my blog, I have also come across so many blogs that have touched me in some way, and I would just like to give some of them a mention, (Thanks to A Momma’s View for the inspiration):

Heels and a Toolbox

Nutsrok

Fourth Generation Farmgirl

The Girl Next Door is Black