Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Christmas Limericks. Three Not So Wise Men — December 10, 2017

Christmas Limericks. Three Not So Wise Men

I do love a limerick and thought that after the success of some of my Halloween limericks, I would share some Christmas ones that I wrote, over the next few days. I hope that you enjoy them.

wise

The wise men that came from afar     

Lost sight of the Christmas star

They got hopelessly lost

And knew to their cost

That they should have had  GPS in their car

#SoCS Shortcut Cut Short — November 4, 2017

#SoCS Shortcut Cut Short

This week Linda has given us a choice for our Stream of Consciousness posts, we can either use shortcut or cut short.

I like a shortcut when I am working at my job in the community. The problem is that, as I do not have a very good sense of direction, I end up getting lost and taking longer to get there. One village road looks similar to the next for me, and even when given very precise directions, I still manage to mess up and end up in the wrong place. Having said that, I do make sure that the patients’ visits are not cut short if it has taken me a while to get there.

There are some occasions when a shortcut can be an advantage though. I remember our Home Economics lessons at school, when making a cake, creaming the butter and sugar together with a wooden spoon, then adding the egg, making sure not to curdle the mixture, and finally, folding in the flour,with a metal spoon, carefully, and then producing a cake that was more like a biscuit than a light and fluffy sponge! Years later, I was introduced to the ‘all-in-one method’, bung everything in together (which seemed like sacrilege), mix it all up and something that resembles a sponge appears. Sometimes it feels good to use a shortcut!

I am going to have to cut short this post now as I have yet another essay to write for one of my Uni assignments. I wish there was a shortcut I could use for that!

SoCS Shortcut Cut Short

 

No Sense of Direction — May 22, 2016

No Sense of Direction

I’ve got no sense of direction

When driving, I haven’t a clue

If it wasn’t for good old Sat Nav

I really don’t know what I’d do!

If I go out of a building

From a different door, I went in

I totally lose all my bearings

And my poor old head starts to spin

It’s the same when I try giving directions

Even though I know where to go

Trying to explain it to others

Really is a no-go!

But somehow, I manage to wing it

And end up where I have to be

Even if I go round in circles

I get there eventually!

WordPress Antics — February 15, 2016

WordPress Antics

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Image Courtesy of Wikipedia

I have just been trying to freshen up my blog, sorting out bits and pieces and I noticed that I seem to be missing something, yes a few blogs.

For some reason, WordPress has unfollowed me from some blogs that I regularly follow. I don’t know when this happened exactly as I am a bit behind with reading anyway. Has anyone else had this happen to them lately?

I have just refollowed seven blogs I realised had gone and hopefully that is it now.  It does make me cross when this happens though.

Rant over!

Making Myself Known — November 22, 2015

Making Myself Known

As many of you know, I have recently started a new job and am still finding my way around, both figuratively and literally. Although I have lived in this town off and on since I was thirteen years old, there are so many new areas that have sprung up and many rural areas right out in the sticks that I had never heard of.

I am zooming about in my little gold car now (sadly my lovely yellow one is gone as I thought it might not be suitable for some of the areas due to it being lowered and other stuff that Boy Racers do to their cars to make them noisy and faster), getting myself lost in all sorts of beautiful places.

On a couple of occasions, I have been right out in the middle of nowhere and thought I might get a photo of the beautiful North Downs countryside, but Sod’s Law dictates that someone will pull up behind me the minute I am focusing on the shot, and I have to move out of the way!

With technology being at the forefront of providing a good and efficient service, I have a tablet which will make easier once I have been on the mandatory training course.Anyway, there was update training that everyone had to try and go to midway through the week, at a nearby venue. It has been a busy day and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, especially as I still had one patient to see over the other side of town.

Now, being as I am I hate being late for anything as I find it is rude for those waiting on you, and it puts me out. However, patients do not fit into nice little time slots and the first few that I visited had extra problems or concerns that I had to deal with. Thre are a few patients that it makes sense to visit at specific times, and this last patient I had to see across town was normally seen at 12.30. It was now nearly 2.pm (which is when this training started as well)!

I turned up, tired, desperate for the loo and starving, having not eaten my lunch only to find y patient was sitting at the table tucking into his KFC! He did not want to be disturbed and was due to have another visit the next day so was happy to leave it.

The smell of the chicken made my stomach growl even louder, but I had no time to satisfy it, having to rush to get to the training which had now been going for about 15 minutes. Needless to say, when I arrived, everything was in full swing. The small room was packed, but I noticed a spare chair outside which I was going to plonk just inside the door. The senior management that were sat there  motioned for me to move the chair to the front of the room. I picked it up but being the klutz that I am tripped over it just as I was sidling up to the front, and the chair smacked to the wooden floor with a resounding bang, which of course woke everyone up and they turned to look at my glowing red face as I tried to sit there unobtrusively.

The room was stifling hot, I did not have much of a clue about what was going on, and the fact that I was desperate for the loo had me fidgeting constantly throughout the rest of the session, with my stomach rumbling in protest at being deprived of food. My face meanwhile, became redder and redder.

As soon as it was over, I rushed to the loo then as I returned to the foyer, was hugged by two nurses that had worked on the same ward as me at the hospital but had left to work in the community. Sadly, there are in a different team covering another area to me, but it was so nice to see them.

One of them told me she had seen  me make an entrance to the room, and knew it had to be me barging in making a such a racket. I laughed as she said it, then saw someone who I recognised walk past. I prodded him and said hello. He politely returned the greeting, but it was obvious he didn’t have a clue who I was. I told my friends he was my sister’s friend (she has known him for years, and I have met him several times) but they already knew him as he worked with them. Awkward!

Must be the glasses that confused him, as I hate wearing them out of work!

 

 

A Little Update — November 15, 2015

A Little Update

I wanted to write a short post to update you on how things are going now that it is just over the midway point for NaNoWriMo. I have managed to plough full speed ahead at the moment and have so far reached the dizzying heights of 36 858 words! I am beyond thrilled to be on target to complete the challenge, plus write my first ever novelette (well if it is worth editing I will at least)!!

I have also been lucky enough to have won a cover designed by the hugely talented  author Jo Robinson. I am not going to reveal it on my blog until the end of November, but suffice it to say, it not only fits my book perfectly but is absolutely stunning.

As far as work goes, apart from being shattered when I get home (still not used to full-time yet), I am enjoying it. My main problem at the ment is finding my way around some of the more rural areas.

On Friday I got totally lost! I had given myself plenty of time to get to this address which I knew was somewhere out in the countryside. Mr Satnav guided me out into the middle of nowhere. The roads were getting smaller and smaller as I meandered higher and higher through the North downs. I eventually found a little cluster of houses which was my ‘destination.’ None of them had the house name I was looking for so I kept going.

Tim my Satnav friend was cross and demanded I ‘turn around’, Easier said than done with those skinny roads! I did eventually head back down to the same cluster of houses, and seeing a man outside accosted him, asking him for his postcode, He confirmed that it was the same as the one I had been given but there was no house name around there with the name I was looking for.

Frustrated, I phoned the office to check the postcode, Needless to say, the  systems were down but they found it on a printout and it was as I had already got. I phoned the patient who told me he was just by the pub, That was good news as I had passed a pub not too far away,

I went back there and still nothing. I saw a man walking along the road and asked him if he knew of the house. He didn’t, He was friendly though and I phoned my patient back for directions from the pub, and realised that it was a totally different one altogether! Luckily that man I had asked knew of it, but it was a little ‘complicated’ to get to! Well, of course it would be.

His directions were brilliant though and I finally found the place I was looking for. My patient was highly amused to hear of my little jaunt in the country as the motorway was literally around the corner! I could have made the trip in less than half the time it took me in the end! The ‘Y’ on the postcode was actually a ‘U’ and that little letter made one hell of a big difference!

Episode 490: No Sense of Direction! — September 10, 2015

Episode 490: No Sense of Direction!

Given four photos to choose from today for Writing 101, I was to choose one photo that I could write a story, a poem or a post about. I am not ready yet to try and tackle a story, so I will write a post about my (limited) experience with maps!

As many of you know, I had joined the Army just after my 18th birthday and was a naive and shy young woman. I was filled with dread when one of the first things we did was to be rounded up, piled into the back of a 4 tonner and dumped in the middle of nowhere with a map and a compass!

We were then given a few hours to make our way to a designated spot marked out on our maps. Great! I didn’t have a bloody clue. Luckily, though, this was a group exercise and there some people actually knew how to map read, so the rest of us dunces that couldn’t, made it safely to our destination.

A few months later, we had a day when we had various activities to participate in (compulsory of course). One of these was weapons training, (I was surprisingly good at hitting the target), and one of these was orienteering. I was dreading it as this time we were sent off one by one with time delays and various checkpoints to get to. We had to clip a card from each of the checkpoints, which of course, had different markings.

I headed off in the right direction when it was my go, but I kind of dawdled a bit as I thought I might be able to wait for the next person and team up with them (providing of course that they could read a map)! My gamble paid off, and again, I reached my destination in good time!

I did actually learn how to read a map eventually but thank God for Sat Nav, which I think is going to be my best friend when I start my new job!

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