Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#SoCS Money — April 14, 2018

#SoCS Money

This week Linda has given us, mon for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used as part of a word or as a word itself, whichever we choose. I have decided to write about money.

I don’t know about you but I always like to have a little bit of cash on me, even if it is just a few pounds. I can’t bear the thought of being somewhere and not having any money on me even to buy a coffee or something, despite most shops accepting cards! Even when I am at work, I always make sure that I have money on me for ‘essentials’ whatever they may end up to be.

Last week, Mr Grump, Miss Hap and I popped into town because I wanted to get some wool, it was not going to be a long trip as I knew roughly where I wanted to get it from. Anyway, I didn’t have any cash on me and told Grump I needed to go to an ATM to get some. He laughs at my ‘obsession’ about having cash as I often ask him to pick me some up when he is out and about, so I immediately backtracked and said I would pay for it by card instead.

I still can’t get my head around contactless payments and wave my card 2 or 3 times over the machine, then give it a tap just to make sure it has been read! I mentioned that it used to drive me mad waiting ages for people to pay by card (mainly credit cards) when the items were only a couple of pounds and that I would NEVER use my card for anything less than a fiver. That is why I like to have the cash on me. Apparently, though with contactless payments you can pay piddly little;e amounts by card as it doesn’t matter.

I had a job finding the wool I wanted and ended up going to several shops before I found it, and I duly paid by card. Grump had an errand to run so I decided to make use of the small tea room nearby as I was in need of refreshments; he would meet us there in a few minutes.

Well, of course, being the middle of the afternoon, I fancied a scone, but not being greedy bought one to share with my husband. My daughter won’t entertain them but is not adverse to a hot sausage roll so she had that. Strangely for her though, she didn’t want a drink to go with it, but I bought coffees for me and Grump, and again paid by card.

Just as we were about to leave the shop to sit outside (It was quite warm that day), Miss Hap decided that actually she did want a drink and fancied a chocolate milkshake. Needless to say, she chose a large one. I trotted back to the till to pay and gave them my card. To my utter mortification, they wouldn’t take it as the price was £2.50 and they won’t take cards for goods under a fiver! Bugger!

I had no cash on me, but that morning had given Miss Hap the last £10 I had in cash for her pocket-money. She had to hand that over to pay for her milkshake! That’ll teach her to go for a large one. To say she had on heer ‘smacked arse’ face when we got out of there was an understatement. Mr Grump came back to half a jam and creamless dry scone (I was a bit disappointed when they brought it out) and two crabby family members!

Do you like to flash the cash or carry a card?

SoCS money
#Sillysaturday Shelma’s New Man — January 20, 2018

#Sillysaturday Shelma’s New Man

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week. Shelma has found herself a new man.

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Shelma was going out on a date
So excited she just couldn’t wait
She was looking her best
In her January Sales dress
The evening was going to be great

Sandy lit Shelma’s fuse
She loved his winkle picker shoes
It brightened her mood
To be with such a cool dude
He banished her January blues!

They wanted to paint the town red
But painted the beach blue instead
A moonlit walk along the sand
Strolling together hand in hand
Anticipating what lay ahead

#Sillysaturday Maggie and Shelma in Town — January 13, 2018

#Sillysaturday Maggie and Shelma in Town

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week. Our good friend Maggie bumps into her friend Shelma shopping in town.

Maggie went shopping in town

Enjoying a good look around

She thought it was great

Bumping into her mate

They went to a café to sit down

They chatted over a nice cup of sea

Both of them buzzing like bees

Comparing their goodies

From high heels to hoodies

The sales made shopping a breeze!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
The Christmas Countdown Has Started! — November 8, 2017

The Christmas Countdown Has Started!

Before the last pumpkin has rotted away and the fireworks fizzled out, the Christmas adverts have started on the TV! Now I love Christmas, but it is just a bit early to start the annual panic. I thought that you might enjoy this poem I wrote a while ago, about the guilt I felt for not being organised.

There’s only 7 weeks until Christmas

And I’ve not even started to shop

No presents, no food, and no booze yet

I don’t even have any pop!

The town is all lit up and sparkling

Santa’s grotto has also arrived

The shops are blaring out music

The old Christmas favourites revived!

All the heart-warming adverts on TV

They are sure to bring a tear to the eye

But my festive spirit is lacking

And I’ve not even made a mince pie!

I really need to get started

There are so many things still to get

I will make more of an effort

But it’s still not  December yet!

#SoCS… on Sunday! — February 21, 2016

#SoCS… on Sunday!

I missed Linda’s Stream of Consciousness yesterday, but I thought I would sneak it in today and hope I don’t get told off! Anway, today we are to start with a contraction, and get a few brownie points if we end with one as well,  so here goes.

I’ve just come back from a night away with Mr Grump. It was our first night away together since we got married six years ago. My Mum stayed over at our house to look after Miss Hap and Roxy and Grump and I set off around 10 am  to get to our final destination of Ham, Sandwich!

The weather was wet and grey but it didn’t dampen our spirits. We stopped off in Hythe and had a massive brunch which would set us up for a while, and poked around in some of the pretty boutique shops they have there.

Next stop was Deal but we passed Dover Castle on the way. It looks pretty imposing on top of the hill but I still didn’t manage to do it justice in my photos!

 

In Deal we found some more lovely shops and the first one I went in I found a lovely dress which I had to have! In the last shop we went to, it looked more like a little house. Once we finally managed to locate the doorway, we walked into an Aladdin’s cave. There were sparkly jewels in the shape of skulls and Lizards, wonderful long, satiny dresses with lacy panels, the coolest men’s shirts I have ever seen with all kinds of patterns on them,  guitars, musical notes, Union Jacks, bright colours and multicoloured buttons. The owner of this shop was a little man with a beanie hat on that was sat behind a counter almost buried by yet more goodies, sequinned hats. floaty scarves, that were draped all around. We had shown an interest in the coats that were there but there was so much stuff, I didn’t know where to look., with He told us that he had a downstairs too and pointed to a small spiral banister-less stairway that led downwards. We gingerly made our way down just as another couple came into the shop.

There were racks of dresses and shirts down there too jam-packed into every crevice which left about 2 meters left to walk on. This was a bit awkward when the couple and shop owner came down as the male half of the couple was about 6ft tall and pretty wide! WE kind of danced around each other and Grump and I decided to go back upstairs which of course I managed to fall up! We checked out the coats again and the owner told us he was knocking off some money as it was his ‘winter stock.’

He picked out a brightly coloured coat for me which I already had my eye on and gestured for me to try it on. Of course, as I put my arms out to get them into the coat I whacked the mannequin he had nearby, displaying a gaudy had and some necklaces. He looked a bit askance when I apologised again for being clumsy, but the coat was a perfect fit! I loved it! To me, it was like Joseph’s technicoloured Dreamcoat with the bright colours.

The Coat
This is me modelling the coat to show Mum when we got home. Sorry it’s the back, but I have got my eyes closed in the front shot!

As you can tell, I bought the coat. We went to the hotel and settled in and ate yet more food. I tried to go for the healthy option but there was none, so I didn’t! Look at the size of Mr Grump’s steak here, it was an inch and a half thick!

Steak!

We had a lovely day and had a huge breakfast this morning before we left. In fact, we had so much to eat the last couple of days that my poor tummy is protesting! In fact, we cancelled the carvery we were going to have today as much as I might want it, my body certainly doesn’t!

 

 

Just Jot it January 21st – Mittens — January 21, 2016

Just Jot it January 21st – Mittens

Well, today’s Just Jot it January prompt word brought to us by lovely Linda is a bit of a fun one, ‘mittens.’

The first thing that springs to mind with this is those little rounded  gloves that encompass all of the fingers together and keeps the thumb separate. Great for keeping the hands warm, but hopeless if you try to do anything with them on. Getting money out of a purse being particularly tricky. This means that they have to be taken off quite a bit, thereby defeating the object of keeping your hands warm!

mitten-311564_960_720
Image courtesy of Pixabay

I remember when my daughter was young, she had a pair of mittens tied together with a long, skinny length of matching fabric that would be threaded through the sleeves of her coat. This was supposed to keep them from getting lost as they would dangle just below her hands if taken off. I think these turned about to be more hassle than they were worth, though.

Trying to get a squirming, wriggling toddler into her coat whilst avoiding tangling her up with the bloody  stringed mittens was no mean feat! Not to mention we were both hot and sweaty after the struggle and she didn’t want the damned thing on anyway!

Just Jot it January 11th – Effortless — January 11, 2016

Just Jot it January 11th – Effortless

jjj-2016

For Linda’s Just Jot it January today, the prompt word we have is ‘effortless.’ I thought I might do something a little different for me and write a list of things that I wish I could do effortlessly!

  • Walk up the stairs – my knees creak and groan in protest.
  • Look immaculately groomed – My hair always ends up looking bedraggled, and my makeup (when I wear it) gets rubbed off in places or smudged, where I have forgotten I am wearing it and rub my eye or something!
  • Sing – I love music, but can’t hold a tune and end up screeching along to my favourites songs, struggling to hit any of the right notes!
  • Read – yes I can still read, but half the time, I have to search for my glasses to be able to see properly! In fact, I have even resorted to wearing them most of the time now.
  • Go shopping without a shopping list! – My memory is not what it used to be and I can guarantee that if I don’t write it down, then I will forget it. Actually, sometimes, I forget to put it on the list in the first place!
  • Lose weight – now this, of course, is just wishful thinking, but it would be nice
  • Do the housework – Ah yes, I remember the days when I would zip around the house like a dynamo, getting all of the work done and then relaxing in my clean and sparkling home. Now it takes me half an hour to motivate myself to get the vacuum out!

Still, looking on the bright side, I wouldn’t have much to blog about if I were to walk through life effortlessly!

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Christmas — December 12, 2015

TJ’s Household Haiku Challenge – Christmas

We have the lovely theme of ‘Christmas’ to use this week as our prompt for TJ’s household haiku challenge 

Christmas means lots of things to me, one of them is hearing Christmas carols which always make me feel festive.

 

Out Christmas shopping

Stop for coffee and carols

Christmas is coming!

Christmas Carols
Town Centre Christmas Carolers

Another is my Christmas tableware. Now it is now that often that we actually have Christmas dinner at home, but I love my Christmas gravy boat…

 

Christmas gravy boat

Mr Grump smashed it last year

Sister replaced it!

Gravy boat

Episode 276: Teamwork! — April 8, 2015

Episode 276: Teamwork!

Me and Mr Grump make a pretty good team. This morning when he went off to work, I mentioned what I fancied for dinner tonight, and as he is based smack bang between two mini supermarkets I thought he might like to pop in and get the ingredients. He told me he didn’t, and that I have got the car, and could go myself!

Now this is true, but there is no harm in trying my luck even if it didn’t work this time. Off me and Miss Hap trot to the local supermarket and, as was expected, she was ‘helping’ me choose what shopping we needed.

Now I didn’t think popcorn, Pepperami and feta cheese were what I had in mind for dinner (oh, what a stomach-churning mixture)!  She had talked me into a feta salad for her lunch which I agreed, and after picking my mum up a couple of things she needed (and a couple of things she didn’t, courtesy of Miss Hap) we went to visit mum.

It was when I got home and was unpacking the bags that I realised I was missing something. I had bought the aubergine and courgettes that we were going to have roasted but had forgotten the belly pork that we were going to have it with!

I thought I had better ring up Mr Grump so he could pick it up before he came home, but it went straight to voicemail. Bugger! Oh well, we will have to have something else instead I thought.

Not even five minutes later Mr Grump’s van pulls up right outside the kitchen window, he gets out with a few carrier bags which he dumps in the kitchen then shot off again! He had obviously thought I wasn’t go to get any shopping and had  done it himself!

He loves grocery shopping (God knows why) and had bought far more stuff than I did! Some of it we actually needed as well! Funnily enough though, although he bought the pork, he didn’t get the veg!

Between us we have got it sussed!

Episode 187: Shedding Some Light on the Subject! — February 28, 2015

Episode 187: Shedding Some Light on the Subject!

I know this is a bit controversial but hate those bloody energy lightbulbs! Yes, I know,shocking isn’t it?! (Well they might be if they produced any sort of power).  I am aware about carbon footprints and all that sort of thing, but I do still like the good old-fashioned 60 watt bulb.

I have lived in my house for 11 years now; It was a brand new property which had special fittings in the upstairs landing and hall downstairs for the energy lightbulb. That was all very lovely except for a couple of years later when I had to get a replacement, none of the shops sold them!II had to send off for them and they were pretty expensive at £10 apiece! Compare that to the £1 or so cost for a normal light bulb and you can see one reason I hatred them.

Having a brother who is good with electrics helped as he took out those fittings and put the general ones in, so I could use either standard light bulbs or energy bulbs as the mood took me.

Surprisingly, I do quite often use the energy ones in the hall as have got a little better over the years. It no longer takes about 5 seconds for the light to realise that it has been switched on, and kick into action, It is almost instantaneous nowadays.

A couple of nights ago Miss Hap informed us that we had a power cut, well, kind of anyway. She had turned the light on in the bathroom upstairs (it has a normal light bulb) and it blew causing the lights to all go off. Mr Grump had to climb up to the fuse box and flick the switch back on to restore light.

Anyway Mr Grump fitted a new bulb and all was sweetness (and light) in our household. Well, until I went to have my bath the next morning, I turned on the light to be greeted by this eerie kind of greenish glow. It was pretty horrid and I literally had a quick dip before getting out of there.

Miss Hap also moaned about the light when she went to the bathroom, It was a really ugly low energy lightbulb, with the emphasis on ‘low energy’. We nagged at Mr Grump to change it as it was giving us a headache.

When I came home from work later on, I saw that indeed the bulb was changed, Great, he managed to do one of the chores I had left him before I went to work. During the evening I needed to nip to the loo so I went to the downstairs one,

The eerie greenish glow appeared casting its gloom in the room. It seemed to make everything appear grubby. I was not impressed with this at all. It’s bad enough that it had the audacity to be called a ‘light’ bulb, but to have this almost CSI quality of showing up every speck making everything appear grimy was annoying.

Mr Grump managed to persuade my niece’s fiance to take him shopping today as the weather was appalling and we needed some bits. I decided to leave them to it and didn’t go with them. Big mistake, Not only did they forget to buy some normal light bulbs but they decided to stop off at the pub on the way home for a ‘quick pint’!

It seems that he was running a bit low on energy and needed a bit of perking up himself!

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