- You bend down to pick something up, and not only do your knees creak more than a door that needs oiling, but you find it really difficult to get back up again!
- You are too vain to wear your glasses outside of work, but can’t read something unless you hold it up, do the sliding back and forth manoeuvre in front of your face and add in a squint for good measure.
- You still spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but it is normally because you have to get out so many times a night to go to the loo!
- High heels are no more than an inch and a half; shoes are for comfort not style!
- You snore louder than the dog, and have even woken yourself up!
- You can no longer tolerate much alcohol. The three-day hangover you now get after a couple of glasses of wine is never worth it!
- Whenever you go anywhere, you have to remember to take your medications with you!
- Forget the sexy lingerie, it is practical garments that cover the essentials properly!
- You become rather ‘set in your ways’ and get mad if someone buggers up your routine.
- If someone rings after 9pm, you are outraged that they would be calling ‘at this time of night’!
- You try to sing along to your favourite song, and realise (a) it has been remixed, mucked about with and re-released or (b) you have forgotten the words!
- You are married to a Grumpy Old Git!
Tag: silly
Today I was just having a ponder on the little niggles in life that drive me mad. You know the kind of thing, I am off today and yet I am not feeling very well, not to mention the fact that some strange spot thing has appeared under my eye. This has swollen the bags under my eye so that I look pretty horrendous! Anyway here are more of my little annoyances.
- Why is it that when you try to show somebody how to do something, you bugger it up regardless of how many times you have done it faultlessly before?
- Why is it that on the rare occasions we get visitors, the bloody phone doesn’t stop ringing?!
- Why do I always break a nail just when I have got them all the same length?
- Why am I the only person in the house who refills the loo roll when it runs out?
- How comes someone who looks the same build as me is two sizes smaller?
- Why is it that my dog adores Mr Grump and virtually ignores me? (Little floozie)!
- Why can’t I learn how to do fancy braids in my hair, despite watching numerous tutorials?
- Why have I got the only child that looks like she has been dragged through a hedge backwards before she even gets to school?
- Why can’t I be one of those people who eat like a bird, rather than a horse?
- Why can’t I make a sandwich without making a mess?
I suppose life would be boring if everything were perfect; it would be nice to try it for a day though!
As many of you know, my name is not actually Edwina, it is Judy. I used Edwina due to wanting to remain anonymous when I first started out in blogging (all of 7 months ago). At the beginning of this year I decided I was brave enough to use my own name.but I have kept the blog name the same as I like it, and some people still address me as Edwina anyway which is fine by me.
I am pretty partial to giving little pet names to some of my family members anyway – even my mum! I call her ‘Peg’ and have done for many years as I thought her teeth looked like pegs! Not very nice I know, but she doesn’t mind, even when ex-boyfriends have mistakenly called her it, thinking it was her name!
Miss Hap I call ‘Beauty’ or ‘Cinderella!’ She hates it when I dare to do it in front of her friends, but she is my little princess and that is that! The poor dog gets called ‘Roxy Roo’ or ‘Poxy’ by my elder sister! Mind you I call her ‘Willow’ after ‘Willow The Wisp!’ My daughter calls her ‘Gingerella’ or ‘Aunty Ginger’ for obvious reasons!
Mr Grump I normally call ‘hub’ or ‘Victor’ when he is crabby (after Victor Meldrew), along with ‘Mr Selfishness’ when he dares to buy himself anything (especially if he hasn’t got me anything)!
Yes I love nicknames. My nieces both over 25 years old, still get called ‘Buffle’ and ‘Boof’! Silly little made-up names that I thought suited them when they were little! One of my nephews I named ‘plumptious’ (he is 23)!
Do you like your name or do you use a nick name?
Today on the Blogging From A-Z Challenge we are looking at the beautifully formed, and wonderfully rounded letter ‘O,’ This is such an open, outgoing letter. that it was difficult to choose a word that does it justice. I toyed with ‘onomatopoeia’ as I like the sound of it! However, I have decided upon another ‘blast from the past’ word, that i also like the sound of….. so, without further ado, may I present…..
Oaf. Yep, it is short and not so sweet. It is the klutz that bangs into everything; the village idiot of words that everyone humours. When an oaf is around, you don’t want to be offering them tea from your best china, unless you are prepared for it to be knocked all over your cream coloured carpet, and smashed to smithereens in the process.
This word conjures up in my mind, a lumbering, great man with hobnail boots, clomping about, treading all over your lawn and squashing your flowers! He had hands like shovels that he has no control over, so he often flails about, gesticulating wildly. God help you if you get in his way, as you are likely to get a whack on the head from his uncoordinated movements. He is well-meaning, but a liability to have around. A calamity waiting to happen; a clumsy clot of the highest order!
Poor sod, I know how he feels!
As many of you know, I really love words and the fun that can be had with them. However, as you get older (so I’m told), you might have a bit of job trying to remember a particular word that you were searching for.
How many of us have said,
“Can you pass me that…….thingummyjig’ or perhaps ” where is the …….oojamaflip?” Where on earth do these silly words come from? I know I often resort to ‘do-dah’ when I can’t find the word I need.
My step-father had a broad West Country accent and he would often say something like,
“Go and get the wha’s call it for I, only it sounded more like wascot! He also had a lovely way of getting words mixed up as in ‘every Dick, Tom and Harry’ or better still, “pass I thick Amber Solamber, will thee?” Now of course he meant the Ambre Solaire suntan lotion. Bless him, he always took it in good part when we laughed!
Mr Grump is another one who can’t recall what he wants to say (well he is even older than I am), and will refer to things as a ‘gizmo’ or ‘dooberry firkin.’
It’s funny though as most of these words we resort to when we can’t think of the right one, are probably about three times as long!
I always love a challenge
A chance to use my head
I joined two friends and signed up
For the Blogging from A to Zed!
Now it seems to make things harder
You ought to have a theme
So as, I love words so much
I thought that could be my scheme!
I’m more than halfway through now
And it’s really been a blast
I’ve dug around and found some words
That I’ve rescued from the past.
So although I might be ‘flummoxed’
About the right one to choose
I have got ‘ample ‘amounts of ‘corny’ words
Even ‘nincompoops’ can use!
I am over the hump and on the downward stretch of the Blogging From A-Z Challenge and find myself at the naughty but nice letter ‘N.’ The fact that it is so similar in looks to the letter ‘M’ might make it seem pretty nondescript, but I have found a very special and fun word to play with……stand by for……
Nincompoop. This word really is onomatopoeic. It is silly in its buffoonery, daft as a door brush, and a bit of a dunce! It blunders and barges, totters and trips about, making a fool of itself wherever it goes.
Fools and f**kwits, prats and pillocks, as well as dolts and dickheads are what this word is all about! It is having no common sense (or any sense at all really), being oblivious to the bloody obvious, and ignoring what is right in front of you kind of word.
Again, I find as I am writing this, some of it applies to me!
Planning a wedding can be quite a traumatic affair (trust me on this one, I have had a lot of experience here)! There is the dress, the flowers, the venue …..well, I could go on and on here, but you get the picture.
One of the centrepiece of a lovely wedding has got to be the cake. Some people have huge, fancy cakes with numerous tiers, others have lots of chocolate cup cakes. There are so many wonderful cakes that capture the spirit of the occasion.
It is also quite a pivotal moment when the bride and groom get to cut the cake. Everyone gathers around to watch the symbolic act, and it is always an opportunity to take a nice photo…..unless of course, they have chosen a creepy clown for their choice of confectionery!
This reminds me of the character from ‘It’ the Stephen King book that scared me to death (I am a terrible wimp)! I am not sure that I want to be tucking into someone’s brain, or poking their eye out with my fork. It seems a bit savage for my liking!
I know that for many couples the cake means something to them both, and I am all for the sentiment ‘Till death do us part,’ but some people take it a little to literally!
I have found a few more bizarre wedding cake pics here that makes me wonder what the hell the future is going to hold for these ‘happy
!’
Today for the Blogging From A-Z Challenge we have the rather spiky letter ‘K.’ However although it may look all prim and proper, I have found a lovely word that is far from it! Ready…. we are going to kick off with….
Kinky. Ooooh, the fun we could have with this word! It is the skin-tight rubber catsuit, with 6 inch heels, thigh-high boots kind of word. It is the handcuffs, feathers and hot wax sort of games you could play,
The frolics with fruit. the ‘whipping’ into a frenzy, and the……use your imagination with no limits type of behaviour, that I am far too polite to go into here, kind of fun.
Phew! After all that kinkiness, it is time to calm down and talk about its other meaning, which is twisted.(actually that could be applied to some of the deviant practices enjoyed by the other type of kinky, just depends what floats your boat)! It is the curly, springy, type of hairstyle, or even the knotted and contorted garden hose that won’t work until you have straightened it out and then, rewards you by blasting you in the face with a spurt of freezing water!
Oh yes, kinky is a wonderful word, with countless possibilities!
Hello and welcome to my Friday Free For-All, we are on week five already! I have been busy reading lots of blogs and choosing my favourite posts for this week. As per usual, I would urge you to check out these wonderful blogs. They all have so much to offer, and I have tried to choose different types of posts that will appeal to you as they did me.
Please feel free to leave links to anything that you have come across, that you think others might also enjoy. I have had some lovely comments on here from people who have found new blogs to follow which is thrilling to hear, and I hope that continues to be the case.
So here are some posts that caught my eye this week:
Wild Daffodil. This post was lovely in so many ways. As you all probably know by now, I love words, and actually I like photos as well. Combine the two and you have a delightful, and funny post.
Dublin Housewife This blog I came across via the Blogging From A-Z Challenge I have been taking part in. Bernie is so funny, I just didn’t know which of her posts to choose as they all had me doubled up with laughter! She likes to use conversations she had with people which will have you rocking! She might use the odd swear word, just so you know!
The Offkey Of Life This post is one of those that make you think very carefully. We are all so quick to judge, and write people off. We forget that there is so much more to people than meets the eye, and we can in fact, learn something from them.
The Return of The Modern Philosopher. This blog I have not been following all that long, but it has so much going on! There are jokes, blog parties, even poems. I have chosen this post because I love the way it flows, and I love the message right at the end of it! Very touching.
Hugh’s Views and News – This is another blog that has a lot going on! Hugh is funny, very supportive of other bloggers and extremely helpful, giving out advice without getting cross at my ignorance! His blog has everything from Haikus to short stories, which is what i have chosen for this week. It is a beautiful, heart-warming story which I thoroughly enjoyed!
An Armchair Perfectionist Prajakta has written a really happy, inspirational post here about something that to me, is frankly hard to get excited about! However, such is her enthusiasm, it really shines through how much she enjoys it and how good it makes her feel. Lovely, cheery post.
Joeyfully Stated I have been following this blog for a while now. Joey writes about all sorts of things, She is funny, witty, sarcastic, and extremely articulate! I thought this post was really nice. It was something we can all relate to written in a down to earth style.
A Prompt Reply. I loved this post. It just goes to show that if you look hard enough there is beauty to be found. It is an optimistic look at what is around and being grateful for it!
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