2018-09-01T09:00:06+01:00

#Sillysaturday Health Petra the Pear

September 1, 2018February 9, 2019/Judy E Martin/21 Comments

pear with rotten teeth! — Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday. Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

This week’s Silly Saturday is all about a poorly pear named Petra. After several comments about Tom the tomato possibly being a good example to use to encourage people to look after their teeth, we thought it would be fun to introduce a couple of #SillySaturday Health posts. Although there is still the usual silliness you can expect from us both, there is also a serious side too. Anyway, please let us know what you think of this idea.

Petra the pear was feeling poorly

She didn’t know quite what to do

Not only was she putting some weight on

But she was suffering from toothache too!

She had started to let her self go a bit

Indulging in too many treats

The sugary snacks made her teeth hurt

Causing trouble whenever she eats!

For too many years she’d been smoking

Which caused her teeth to go brown

Her gums receding and bleeding

It was time to turn things around.

She wanted her life to be fruitful

And continue her family tree

But she had to make sure she was healthy

And in the best shape she could be

First stop was to the doctors

To get help with giving up smoking

The harm it was causing her body

Was both sobering and thought-provoking

As if heart disease and strokes weren’t enough

It could cause breathing problems as well

Tooth loss, fertility problems and cancer

Not to mention the horrible smell

She decided to go for the patches

And started the very next day

She found that her nicotine cravings

Were slowly melting away.

Next stop was to the dentists

To see if something could brighten her smile

Because her teeth were so neglected

It was going to take a little while

It was not just about brushing and flossing

That Petra had neglected to do

But her sugary addiction

Had helped in her tooth decay too

Th dentist took some impressions

And gave Petra’s mouth a good clean

She was advised not just to clean the outside

But all around, underneath and between.

It was too late for poor Petra

To save some of the teeth that she had

She had to make some appointments

To remove the ones that were bad

Several months later and Petra is glowing

Her smile now so fresh and so bright

She cleans her teeth like an expert

Even the ones she takes out at night!

Images Courtesy of Sandra Dorey

http://www.signhealth.org.uk/v3/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/stoptober1.png

Going Smoke Free: One Year On.

October 1, 2015/Judy E Martin/65 Comments

I never thought I would do it, but I have actually reached a whole year without smoking! Now I know this does not sound like much, but I am pretty proud of myself at the moment. I started smoking when I was about 12 years old. having the odd cig now and again, before turning into a 20 a day fully fledged smoker after only a couple of years. Sometimes, I would smoke even more, depending on who I was with and what the occasion was.

I realised that I had smoked throughout my entire adult life which is nothing at all to be proud of, and I knew it was going to be desperately difficult to kick the habit, My sister and brother-in-law gave up on New Years Eve the year before, but I was ‘not ready’ at that point.

Being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in September last year though did make me realise that I needed to stop. We have a campaign running over here in the UK called ‘Stoptober’ where you can get lots of extra support and help to give up, and I signed up. Plus myself and Mr Grump went to the pharmacy run stop smoking sessions (there are 6 in order to get ‘patched up’ ready for the event.

Suffice it to say. I stopped using the patches after about 3 weeks and was totally nicotine free. I have not smoked since; a thirty-six-year habit successfully stubbed out! Here are the benefits I have noticed:

I no longer freeze outside in the winter having a crafty cigarette
I don’t have to struggle with a lighter in a gale force wind to light a cigarette.
I am not glared at in the street (well at least not for smoking anyway)
People do not cough loudly as they walk past me emphasising the point that they do not approve of smoking even outdoors.
I can sit inside at a pub or a cafe for the entire time!
You can smell my perfume properly instead of it mixed with the pungent odour of cig smoke!
I can get in a lift now without holding my breath or standing in the corner in case I offend anyone with the smell of cigarettes!
I can still stand outside at work with the others but not worry that I am going to have to put my cig out in a hurry in case we get caught.

Things I have noticed that are not so good:

I have put on at least a stone
I have no vices left (anyone got any ideas)?
I don’t get to stay inside as I prefer to stand out with the smokers (you get the best gossip)!
I miss it, as I did actually enjoy it
I have had more sore throats than ever before!

I just wanted to give my encouragement to those that are starting out today on the path to a smoke-free life, that you CAN do it, It just takes a bit of determination, a job lot of patches and whatever you do, don’t have those lozenges or sprays, as they are like pepper spray!! (Seriously, I thought I was going to combust, my eyes were watering and my throat was burning, and I had to spit the bloody thing out)!

Episode 175: Smoking To Scoffing!

February 22, 2015/Judy E Martin/11 Comments

Now that I’ve given up smoking

There’s no more standing outside

Freezing to death in all weathers

As well as trying to hide

My clothes all smell so much sweeter

I’ve lost that strange tinge to my skin

I’m no longer puffing and panting

And I’m determined not to give in

The cough that used to be constant

Has decided to go on its way

I am now considered a non-smoker

After years of smoking 20 a day!

There is one fly in the ointment

That really isn’t so good

Instead of smoking my head off

I’m stuffing my face full of food!

Episode 122: Fools Rush In….

January 25, 2015/Judy E Martin/14 Comments

It has been nearly 4 months now since I have managed to stop smoking, which is all well and good, but I am STILL waiting for some of the benefits to kick in!

I am not the most patient of people, I have to say, and I do not like having to wait long for things. If I am on a diet (which I am , constantly) then I expect to have lost a load of weight by the end of the first week! I will jump on the scales every morning and if I have not lost at least 2lb, then I am not happy! After all, if I am to be constantly hungry and as a consequence, grumpy, then I expect the scales to reflect the sacrifices I have made.

Last Christmas I treated myself to a very expensive mascara. Now, I don’t even wear makeup every day, but when I do, I like to look nice. This mascara was supposed to make me look like I was wearing false lashes. It didn’t. It just looked like I had got heavy handed with the wand and put too much on, giving that thick spider’s legs effect!

I have tried foundations that promise to knock years off your age and give you a smooth flawless skin or some such outlandish claim (to be fair though, they need a decent face to work with). I couldn’t wait to try it, but it just sank into the wrinkles and crevices in my skin, making me look ridiculous.

I am pretty rubbish at Christmas and birthdays as well. If I see a present wrapped up that is for me, I will poke it, prod it, and shake it, trying to guess what it is as I can’t wait to find out! I have actually improved over the years, as I now no longer undo a bit of the tape carefully, and look inside the package, and then have to feign surprise on the actual day!

That is the trouble with me. I go about things in a gung-ho fashion, and expect to see instant results! I had patches to help me with the nicotine withdrawal and I did manage to cut those out completely within three weeks. However because I was desperate to cut those patches out so quickly, and rid myself of the nicotine sooner. I nearly sabotaged my success by rushing things.

So although I am still waiting for my sense of smell and taste to return, I will try to be patient, or risk setting myself up for disappointment!

Episode 71: New Years Resolution – With a Twist!!!

December 10, 2014/Judy E Martin/12 Comments

After the Christmas over-indulgence normally comes the New Year resolutions. You know, the pledge to hit the gym, lose some weight and get fit, which is all very well in theory, but in practice lasts until the beginning of February (at a push)! The same goes with packing in smoking; for many the desire to give up is there, but the cravings are just too strong and it all ends in tears (and a packet of fags)! I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to give up all of our vices at the same time and on the same day! I am fed-up with being ‘good’ and my New Year’s Resolution is to find a new vice……

As I have mentioned (more than once, probably), I have given up smoking (am in my third month of being smoke-free), and due to being recently diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, have also had to cut right back on the sugar, as well as lose weight! Two of my favourite pleasures in life were smoking and eating, and now I have had to give them up and I’m bloody crabby! This Christmas I will not be scoffing Christmas Pud with a huge dollop of cream, nor will I be indulging in the sherry trifle. In fact I can’t even have a bloody mince pie!

I wont be crowding round the back door, or standing outside in the freezing cold/pouring rain/ or icy snow having a sociable cigarette with family members as half of us have now given up. (Yes I know it is a good thing, but we all actually ENJOYED smoking)! No… we will all be piously snug and comfy in the warm, laughing at the poor buggers who still indulged, huddled up against the cold, whilst secretly wishing we could just have one little puff!!

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that I needed to make these changes in order to become healthier and, it was down to my bad choices that I ended up with diabetes, but I haven’t got any vices now. I’m not used to being a Mrs Goody Two-Shoes having smoked since I was about 13 years old, so I am looking for a new vice for the New Year!

Now, finding a vice is not going to be easy, as two have already been ruled out! Drinking is not an option either, Firstly because the last time I had too much to drink I had a hangover for 2 days, and with Miss Hap being as energetic and exuberant as she is, that combination is OUT! Going out ‘on the pull’ is also a non-starter. Not only will Mr Grump get the hump, but I am well past my prime (If I ever had a prime), and it would be too much hassle to doll myself up every night to try to look half-decent.

Becoming a shopaholic sounds fantastic in theory, (who doesn’t like new and sparkly, things) but we have more than enough clutter in our house already, plus you don’t get a lot of sparkle for your money on my salary! Hmmmm it is not as easy as I thought trying to find a new vice.

Anyone got any ideas??

Episode 27: Smokefree but not stress free!!

October 28, 2014/Judy E Martin/3 Comments

Things are a bit fraught in our house at the moment!…. Myself and Mr Grump have managed to give up smoking, and today we have completed the ‘Stoptober Challenge’. Twenty-eight days without a cigarette. That probably doesn’t seem like much to most people, but I know for me, I have struggled through each minute of every day, especially the past week as I decided to get rid of the patches early so I could be nicotine free sooner.

The fact that I am pretty clumsy at the best of times and Mr Grump is pretty… well, grumpy at the best of times does not make for a harmonious atmosphere when nerves are stretched already. . Take yesterday for example.. I went to draw the curtains in the evening, and not knowing my own strength pulled the whole bloody curtain track down! That put not only me in a temper but also Mr Grump because I asked him to fix it! He huffed and puffed but got up to do it, asking me to hold one end of the track whilst he put the other end back up. Problem was, I am pretty short, and even standing on the settee, I couldn’t hold it high enough for him. Annoyed but undaunted he started to put his end back up, but got a bit heavy-handed and snapped off one of the clips that he needed to attach the track to.

That did it! He was swearing and muttering as I stood behind him, shoulders shaking, desperately trying to hold in my laughter as I knew it would make him worse. Unfortunately I did a bit of a snort, and was busted! “Oh it’s alright for you standing there chuckling, go on, get it out of your system”, he scowled. So I did; he meanwhile continued putting the curtain track back up stony faced – in silence, There was a little bit sticking out in the middle where the broken clip was, but I said nothing… deciding to save that little repair job for another time.

I know that giving up smoking is better for us all in the long run, in so many ways. Myself and Mr Grump have struggled through a nicotine free month still in one piece, Miss Hap, Bless her is really proud of us both for sticking to it, and that in itself makes it all worthwhile….Having said that, sitting here drinking my tea I still feel there is something missing, and there is still a part of me that is saying, “right I have done the challenge now, Sod it, give me a fag!!”

Episode 19: Patch me up and I’ll be ok!!

October 10, 2014/Judy E Martin/Leave a comment

Today has been a bit of an odd day really. I’m on day 9 of not smoking, and I am so pleased that I have managed to make it this far without caving in to temptation….

Today I was working in a different bay to where I normally work, (but a change is a good as a rest), so after greeting everyone with a cheery ‘Good morning,’ it was time to make sure everyone had eaten their breakfast and see if they needed anything before I started on the drugs round. The care worker, who was working with me , asked if I could help her to get one of the ladies onto a commode, as she was a little tricky to transfer with just one person.

Of course, I put on my pinny and gloves and we both helped to get the patient on the toilet…As I turned around, I noticed a few small, brown deposits on the floor, oh dear, my poor lady had a bit of an accident. I warned my co-worker to be careful, of the mess on the floor, but it was already too late; one of the deposits was a bit smudged and flattened, and as realisation dawned on my co-worker, she held up her foot for inspection, and sure enough she had trodden in it.. and due to having rather deep treads on the underside of her shoes, it had become ingrained deep in the crevices, as well as the couple of blobs that were on the side!

I stifled my laughter as I went to quickly retrieve some clinical wipes to clean up the mess. My co-worker’s face was so comical as she stood balanced on one leg as I scrubbed at her shoe. Still if this was going to be how the day started, it did not bode well…

However we managed to get through the morning with no further incidents, but I was feeling a bit twitchy. I had been out to break with the smokers earlier, and we went to the usual bench, which today, was unoccupied, due to it having rained earlier in the morning. However, we had come prepared, and laid out our incontinence pads over the wet seat to keep ourselves dry.I watched enviously today as they fitted in as many cigarettes as they could ,as well as their food, as I really wanted to join them in a cigarette. (I can’t get my head around the fact that I am a NON-SMOKER now).

I resisted the urge of course, and stomped back to work feeling a little disgruntled. After a while I was told that they were giving out flu jabs outside the ward, and as I have had 2 lots of lurgy recently I decided that it might be a good idea for me to get the jab, I joined the end of a massive queue, and whilst waiting I tried to remember which arm I had put my nicotine patch on so that I could get the jab in the other one.I couldn’t find it….I got the jab anyway and went back to the ward.

I saw our ward clerk and I asked her if she could see it on my arm. She couldn’t either so in the end I had the zip on my dress half undone, with her patting me down looking for this bloody patch…No, it was not there! That was why I was really craving a cigarette today, I wasn’t usually this bad. Once I had got over the initial panic of not having my patch on where I roared out to anyone who would listen “I have lost my patch, and I have not smoked for NINE days”. I couldn’t bear the fact that I still had a few hours left before I could get home to replace it, and I did not want to blow all my hard work,

I saw the boss out the corner of my eye and decided that perhaps I had better calm down and sort myself out. I slunk into one of the offices where we write out notes, and set about filling out a long and complicated form that was needed for one of my patients. By the time I had finished that, the craving was gone and normality resumed for the rest of the shift. It’s a shame that being smoke-free is not stress-free!!

Episode 17: The Sweetest Taboo …

October 7, 2014/Judy E Martin/Leave a comment

Today I’m feeling a little bit sorry for myself!! I have given up unhealthy foods and cigarettes for almost a week now, and it seems that temptation is lurking everywhere, just waiting for me to give in to it.

This morning I really fancied a cigarette,, even though I had my patch on, it did not seem to crush the craving. I tried to put it out of my mind and set off for work. I noticed that there were two smokers in today, as a few people have recently given up, there are only a handful left. Normally the smokers go to first break together as they are usually desperate for a cigarette, and today was no different. Except for the fact that I had now given up,.. but I went with the smokers anyway.

As we have to hide away in wooded areas to smoke, or go to the bench under the trees, it can get a bit chilly at times. Normally this is water off a duck’s back to a hardened smoker (wind, hail, torrential rain, you name it I have been stood outside in it), but today the wind seemed particularly bitter so I suggested that we sit in my car…

What a dunce I am! I have spent a week trying to get rid of the smell of smoke from my car, clothes and everywhere else, and here I am actively encouraging them to pollute my lovely fresh smelling car..I had even removed the ashtrays that were in there. Still I resisted the urge to join them, and had just breathed in their smoke instead!!!

Feeling rather proud of myself that I had passed one of the challenges I knew I would be facing in quitting the cigarettes; next time I would join the non smokers in the canteen, where it is warm and dry! I went back to work after break, only to find that one of our patient’s relatives had bought some rather nice biscuits for the staff to share… Even though I don’t usually buy biscuits myself (Mr Grump has a stash, but he gets the boring ones anyway, so I am not usually bothered) these biscuits looked rather delicious however,,, crumbly, chocolatey, they would be lovely dunked in my coffee, but no, they are forbidden.

I ended up getting home from work late, absolutely starving , and was looking forward to dinner, which Mr Grump had made. I am not one for spicy food normally, and he had made something which was marinated in chilli and salt and it nearly took the roof of my mouth off, it was so HOT!! I gulped down some water, to try to quell the heat, and managed to finish off the meal.

Just after dinner, Miss Hap had gone upstairs to do her homework, when she was shouting down excitedly, “The Ice Cream Van is here, can I have one please?” I thought he had hibernated for the winter, but agreed that she could have one. Back she came with a double chocolate cornett, plus swirl of Mr Whippy ice cream on top, and a flake shoved in the side, all dripping with chocolate sauce. I WANTED THAT ICE CREAM! Not only would it taste delicious, but it would soothe the inferno that was still raging from the chilli. I have to admit that I persuaded Miss Hap to let me have the very tip of the swirl on top, and it did taste good!

I know I am being really silly, in craving these things that are not good for me anyway, but forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter, so the saying goes, and I am not one who likes to miss out!

I’m consoling myself that in 6 months time I will hopefully be slimmer, fitter and healthier, but in the meantime, I will probably end up giving Mr Grump a run for his money, when it comes to moaning and complaining!!!

Episode 12: There’s No Smoke…..

October 2, 2014/Judy E Martin/Leave a comment

I have finally decided to quit smoking! In light of the fact that I have had two really nasty chesty colds in the last two weeks, plus having only this week been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, I decided that drastic action was called for and the fags would have to go!

I am ashamed to say that I started smoking at a very early age, and coming from a large family, nearly all of whom smoked, it has been part of my life for the last 30 odd years. It started with the odd cigarette, but over the years has turned into a full-blown 20 plus per day habit I knew it was not going to be easy, so had already made the appointment for the “Smoke Free” programme and am now ‘patched’ up and ready to go!

Mr Grump came with me and the two of us are going to try to give up together. He very helpfully got rid of the few cigarettes that were left, so that I would not be tempted by them when I got up this morning. After the awful night I had coughing so hard my ribs hurt, plus the blocked up nose, still with me from this cold, I know that we are doing the right thing.

More importantly, i didn’t want my daughter to become a smoker as well, and as you should lead by example,I know that the best chance I would have of discouraging her from ever becoming a smoker,was to not be one myself!

As I have also been told to lose some weight by my GP, this is a bit of a double whammy for me, as I can’t just stuff myself stupid whenever a craving kicks in! This is going to call for a LOT of self-control (something that has been sadly lacking in me so far, otherwise I never would have put on weight, and would have given up smoking years ago)!!

Still better late than never (God, how many more clichés can I fit into this)?! and, as some other members of my family have also recently given up smoking, I know I can get a bit of support from them, when things get tough.

In order to help with my cravings, as well as the patches, I opted to get a mouth spray that would give an instant ‘hit’ of nicotine when really needed. I thought I would give this a go a couple of hours ago, and My God, did it control the craving! That stuff is bloody lethal! It could easily double as pepper spray should the need arise. One squirt of that in the eyes could incapacitate King Kong for a good few hours. I thought it was going to be a nice blast of peppermint which would calmly stop me from feeling the need for a cigarette! How wrong was that! As soon as it hit under my tongue (and around my mouth and chin as my aim was a bit off), the burning sensation started. Shit, is my throat closing up? have I gone into anaphylaxis? Everything in and around my mouth went numb, for a good few minutes (that was after the coughing and spluttering stopped), before normality set back in. I was so stunned by the sheer strength of this stuff, that ANY cravings I might have had for anything at all were savagely suppressed!

Mr Grump is doing really well so far as he had already been using one of those e-cigarettes for the past few weeks at work, and luckily for him he is nice and slim so he doesn’t have to lose any weight either. However, he loves puddings, and I know he has a stash in the freezer of banoffee pies,and chocolate sponge cakes etc , plus he has hidden a couple of egg custard tarts in the fridge as he is scared that I might persuade him to give those up, and there is only so much deprivation a man can take after all!

Anyway his sugar stash doesn’t bother me at all, I can easily give up puddings…what will be difficult to give up though is chocolate! Ooooh, the velvety texture, the creaminess of it…the pleasure it gives…..not that I am getting carried away or anything, but it is something I do enjoy. Imagine my rage then when yesterday, Mr Grump casually opened one of the kitchen drawers to reveal nestled in the corner… a CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER KIT KAT!! I wanted that so badly, and here he was tormenting me with it.. I could have whacked him over the bloody head with it!

Time to calm down and start my distraction techniques… all this talk about things I am not allowed is making me want them again, and I’m not brave enough to have another crack at that mouth spray just yet, so I’d best start on another frenzied bout of cleaning things to take my mind off them!

Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Tag: smoking

#Sillysaturday Health Petra the Pear

Going Smoke Free: One Year On.

Episode 175: Smoking To Scoffing!

Episode 122: Fools Rush In….

Episode 71: New Years Resolution – With a Twist!!!

Episode 27: Smokefree but not stress free!!

Episode 19: Patch me up and I’ll be ok!!

Episode 17: The Sweetest Taboo …

Episode 12: There’s No Smoke…..

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Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

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