Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Aliens Loving Yoga #SillySaturday — December 9, 2017

Aliens Loving Yoga #SillySaturday

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Meet our old friends the Aliens. This time they are getting into yoga and rather enjoying the benefits. Click here to see more shell friends.

This yoga is really quite good

Sometimes it’s been misunderstood

When feeling depressed

Or when life gets you stressed

It can help to lighten your mood

It can make you look and feel great

Helps you focus and concentrate

The different types of positions

Help some medical conditions

There’s even one for the prostate!

Those earthlings have got it all sussed

This yoga lark is a must

You don’t have to be wealthy

To keep yourself healthy

With a body strong and robust.

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
Seven Senseless Silly Sayings — December 8, 2017

Seven Senseless Silly Sayings

It’s funny how we incorporate these little sayings into our lives (many that our own parents have said to us in the past) that don’t seem to make any sense. Here are a few of my favourites…

  1. “If you don’t eat your dinner, you won’t get any pudding.” This was said to us as kids if we had left our meal in order to get to the rather nicer looking dessert. This is a bit silly really as, if we ate all our dinner we might not have room for any pudding, let alone enjoy it!
  2. “If the wind changes you will stay like that.” We have all poked our tongue out at someone or made a face behind their back. This threat was supposed to deter us from doing this, but I really don’t think anyone ever believed it.
  3. “Do you want a smack?” This really makes me laugh. As if anyone is going to say, “Oh yes please, the harder the better” (On second thoughts with all this 50 Shades stuff being popular at the moment…)Anyway, as kids when you are being naughty and your mum threatens you with this, you do tend to behave yourself pretty quick! In the same vein what about,
  4.  ” Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!” For a start, if you are in a state about something, it is not always easy ( especially as a child) to just instantly stop crying, but if you don’t you are in for a clout. A bit of a no-win one this is!
  5. ” Go and wash behind your ears, you could grow spuds there” Even if it were possible, why would anyone want to grow potatoes on their head! Well, perhaps if they came out as crisps or chips it might be appealing.
  6. “Who’s she, the cat’s mother? I can’t even begin to think where this originated from, but it was one of my mum’s favourites when I was young.
  7. “Shut the bloody door, were you born in a barn?” This was another saying that was well-used in our house when I was growing up.

Those are some of my favourite sayings. Do you have any?

Faking It — December 6, 2017

Faking It

I thought I would have a little fun today, with a poem about ‘faking it’. Meg Ryan has a lot to answer for!

The kids, at last, are sleeping

Your  partner’s in the mood

He’s nibbling on your earlobe

But you’d rather have some food!

You try to get your groove on

As his kisses get more urgent

He’s yearning for some loving

You’re thinking about detergent!

Your top has been unbuttoned

And he’s just unclasped your bra

You moan when you remember

That you forgot to tax the car!

The rest of the clothes are discarded

You need to show some willing

He lays you on the carpet

Now your bloody back is killing!

The rhythm is getting faster

You moan and sigh for good measure

The carpet burns have put a stop

To you having any pleasure

You feel the rush, and he relaxes

All happy now and sated

Whilst you are feeling quite put out

-Sex is so over-rated!

#FundayMonday You May Write Me Down In History — December 4, 2017

#FundayMonday You May Write Me Down In History

I wrote this poem a while ago in response to a challenge where we had to use a line of a well-known poem and use it to write one of our own.  I used the first line from ‘Still I Rise’ by Maya Angelou ‘You may write me down in history.’

If you enjoyed those poems, and have time for a cuppa then you might like to check out my book Rhymes of the Times. It has many more poems like this and is perfect for dipping in and out of when you fancy a little pick-me-up.

Click here to be taken to my author page where you can purchase the book.

#SoCS Cramp — December 2, 2017

#SoCS Cramp

This week Linda has given us cramp to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used any way we like.

I suffer terribly with cramp. It is not just in my feet or at night, it can be anywhere at any time. I have even got it when I have laughed and the muscles in my ribcage have cramped. So I going for laughing hysterically to grimacing and rubbing my side because it hurts!

I have suddenly shot up in a room because my calf has cramped, or if I am trying to be discreet, I rock my leg back and forth trying to ease the pain or straighten it out trying to see if that helps.

Of course, it can be embarrassing as well. I have had cramp whilst having the nurse doing the intimate examinations we women need to have, and at other times when cramp has been rather a passion killer!

I don’t understand where it came from as it started probably about 8 years ago or so. Sometimes if I get cold I might get it, but other times I can just turn around or brush my hair and I get it then too!

It really does cramp my style!

Five Things I Hate About Winter — November 30, 2017

Five Things I Hate About Winter

The recent cold weather assures me that winter is well and truly on its way now. Although it does have many good points,  which you can check out here,  these are some of the things that I hate about it!

Well least, I would if I didn’t have my husband to do it for me! I am lucky in that Mr Grump will defrost my car when he comes back from taking the dog out for her early morning walk.

Coats are so bulky to drive in, so I take it off. Then put it on again (if it is really cold), then take it off…As soon as I go into a warm room I get boiling hot, so despite the freezing conditions outside, I rarely wear jumpers in case I combust!

Although the rain looks fine and wispy, it doesn’t take long before it soaks right through you. I would rather just have a downpour and be done with it!

Getting up at dark o’clock and coming home from work in the dark makes winter pretty drab and depressing.

Constantly! Despite always trying my best to protect myself again those winter germs, and religiously getting my flu jab, I always end up getting at least one nasty cold.

What bugs you about winter?!

What Qualities Does a Real Man Have? — November 29, 2017

What Qualities Does a Real Man Have?

For those of us that have men in our lives, we accept that they may not be perfect but according to the Bookmakers William Hill there are fifty skills that your man should have in order to qualify as a ‘real man.’ Apparently, they questioned 2000 people in order to discover what qualities it takes to accomplish this,

The list includes things like being able to tie a tie, knowing how to wire a plug, being able to change a light bulb, as well as know when your anniversary is, and how to do the laundry.

I have decided to make my own little list of what qualities I think a ‘real man’ should have, which are in no particular order:

  • Not being ashamed to cry. I don’t mean just when their team loses an important match, I mean actually showing a bit of emotion when something has affected them deeply. Having said that, I don’t want him bawling his head off at the slightest thing!
  • Enjoy shopping. A real man will not be at all fazed whilst accompanying you on a shopping trip, and that includes browsing at lingerie! It is so annoying when you go to ask your partner’s opinion on a racy little number, only to find that he has legged it!
  • Be a good cook. Although I do like to cook at times, it is great that Mr Grump loves cooking and is so good at it too!
  • Have a decent sense of humour. Because I like to laugh at things and enjoy making fun of silly situations, it is important to me to have someone to laugh with. I don’t want to be with someone who is precious about me taking the mickey out of them!
  • Not having an aversion to housework. Being able to push a vacuum around is a huge plus in my book. It is one of those jobs that I hate doing! For some reason, I have never known a man who is good at dusting and polishing, but if he is handy with a vacuum then that’ll do!
  • Enjoy driving.  Although I drive myself, I am not that keen on it, so a man must be able to drive, and drive well! It is pretty off-putting if a man is crunching the gears or taking about 20 attempts to parallel park when he is behind the wheel.
  • Be well-groomed. Now a real man knows how to be well-presented. I like him to be smartly dressed in ironed clothes, smelling nice and have clean nails! I don’t however, want him to take longer getting ready than I do, hog the mirror, nick my beauty products, or borrow my straighteners (if he has hair of course).
  • Be good at DIY.  I like a man who is handy to have around. You never know when you need a shelf putting up, a room to be decorated or someone to fix something that I have broken.This is a very important quality in my book.
  • Know when to make himself scarce! This one is pretty important as well. I don’t just mean when you are having a ‘girly’ night in and don’t want the old man around. I mean that he knows to get out of your way when you are in a mood (especially if he is the one that has wound you up)!
  • Not being a selfish lover. I won’t go into too much detail here but a real man knows how to please his partner, not just himself!

Are there any that I have missed out, what qualities do you think a real man has?

Congratulations to Diana! :-) — November 28, 2017
Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Christmas Book Fair – Judy Martin, Charles E. Yallowitz and Terri Webster Schrandt —

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Christmas Book Fair – Judy Martin, Charles E. Yallowitz and Terri Webster Schrandt

via Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Christmas Book Fair – Judy Martin, Charles E. Yallowitz and Terri Webster Schrandt

Anything but Books Tag —

Anything but Books Tag

I have been tagged by my lovely blog sister Ritu to take part in the Anything but Books Tag. If you are not familiar already with Ritu’s blog then do check it out, as there is everything on there from recipes and healthy living advice, to anecdotes about family and so much more.

Q1. Name a cartoon that you love. 

I enjoyed lots of cartoons as a child but one of my favourites is Wacky Races. I love Dick Dastardly and his failed attempts at sabotaging the other racers. A colleague recently told me that I laugh like Muttley too, and she is right!

 

 

Q2. What is your favourite song right now 

This is going to be tricky as I do not follow anything that is in the charts at the moment, but one that I listen to a lot that isn’t too ancient is ‘Chandelier.’ Sia has such a powerful voice and puts o much passion into the song. I love it.

 

Q3. What could you do for hours that isn’t reading

I think that would probably be sewing. It can take quite a while just cutting out the patterns before I even get started on putting everything together. It is time that I enjoy and productive too.

 

Q4. What is something that you love to do that your followers would be surprised by

I love to play games like ‘The Sims’ or Farmville but get a little obsessed. I always have to tend my farm, every morning before work or Uni or anything else!

 

Q5. What is your favourite, unnecessarily specific thing to learn about

I have always loved learning new things, and of course being at uni at the moment I am learning in much more detail things that I only had a basic knowledge of before. I am really getting into anatomy and physiology, and the more I learn from it, the more I want to learn.

 

Q6. What is something unusual you know how to do

Bull boots, wire a plug? Are they unusual? I am not sure. I don’t really have any hidden talents.

Q7. Name something that you’ve made in the last year

I have made several things but the most recent is some Christmas pyjamas that I wrote about  here 

Anything but Books Tag

 

 

Q8. What is your most recent personal project

For me, it has to be going back to University to study for my Nursing Degree. I really wanted to gain a qualification as a Registered Nurse rather than the Associate Practitioner (Nursing) that I had before. To get this degree will be an ambition fulfilled.

Q9. Tell us something that you think of often

I am always worrying about losing weight and become healthier. It seems to be a struggle for me at the moment, as the slightest sign of stress sends me into ‘comfort eating’ mode.

 

Q10. Tell us something that’s your favourite, but make it oddly specific

It is my nails which are pretty at the moment. As we have no practical work for a while I can get away with wearing some nail polish and growing my nails a little and. I am making the most of it.

Anything but Books TagI would like to nominate the following to have a go, if they want to, of course.

Tonya

Melinda

Rich

 

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