Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 332: Make Mine A Pint Please! — May 17, 2015

Episode 332: Make Mine A Pint Please!

Yesterday evening was unexpectedly pleasant, and after having a bit of a rough couple of weeks, in one way or the other, Mr Grump suggested we take the 5 minute walk down to the local pub, and take Roxy with us. She always loves an extra walk loves it when we sit outside at the pub as people quite often make a fuss of her.

We met up with Miss Hap who was with her friend at the park; she stayed long enough to cadge some money for some sweets, before deciding that the park was much more fun than sitting with us old gits and going back off to play.

As the back garden of the pub was packed, we sat at one of the two tables out the front which was like a little sun trap. There are a number of shops there as well as the vet’s surgery where Roxy goes to get her jabs when needed. (She is the only dog I know that loves the vets and tires to drag us in there every time we walk past).

Sure enough, when Mr Grump went in to get our drinks a little girl came over and made a huge fuss of Roxy which she loved. Mr Grump came out with the drinks and a couple of packets of my favourite steak crisps which Roxy is rather partial to as well.

As you can see by the photo, Roxy loves a drop of beer and Mr Grump let her have some of the froth from his, although I am sure she would have drunk the lot if he had let her! Luckily they both managed to walk home ok!

Let’s Get The Party Started! — May 16, 2015
Episode 331: Being Silly on Saturday. —

Episode 331: Being Silly on Saturday.

There is one song that always cheers me up whenever I hear it, and that is ‘Sexy and I Know It’ by LMFAO. I don’t know whether it is the lyrics, the silly video or just the beat, but whatever it is, it usually manages to bring a smile to my face.

Not only that, but I have noticed it seems to have an effect on others a well. A few weeks ago whilst I was queueing up in a gaming shop with Mr Grump and Miss Hap, this song suddenly blasted at deafening volume. I had to laugh as I a couple of teenagers were singing along, and even a couple of mums and dads were doing a bit of strutting along to it, embarrassing their red-faced offspring. It just seems to bring out the inner Sex God in people (whether they have one or not)!

So I thought I would share with you this advert that we have at the moment for Specsavers featuring this song. It is so silly, but I love it!

Enjoy.

Free-For-All Friday #10 — May 15, 2015

Free-For-All Friday #10

Welcome to my Friday Free-For-All, the 10th one already! There have been some more wonderful posts this week which I would like to share with you. As usual, I have tried to choose a variety of different  blogs which are all brilliant in their own way. Please do go and check them all out.

runawaynunsandleprechauns This is rather a funny little poem that really made me laugh. It is short and sweet and I know you will enjoy it, especially if you are a dog lover.

Dublin Housewife This is another hilarious post from the wonderful Bernie Rose! I just love her style of writing; she is witty, and really brings her conversations to life.

A Momma’s View This post is a reminder to us all really. It may seem pretty obvious, but the point needs to be re-iterated as it does not seem to be sinking in for some people, which is a terrible shame.

The Indecisive Eejit I included this post because I could really resonate with the frustration felt here. Sometimes, despite our best efforts we still can’t seem to get anywhere. I really admire this blogger and have the utmost respect for her.

But I Smile Anyway. Ritu is one of the most creative and talented people around. I don’t know how she fits everything into her day, and manage to stay so cheerful and bright. She is also an inspirational teacher who any child would be lucky to have.

Chronicles of an Orange-Haired Woman This is a blog that I have only just started following, however it has so much to offer, This particular post I can identify with so much!

I hope you all enjoy these posts as much as I did. Have a wonderful Friday!

Episode 330: Freestyle Writing Challenge. — May 14, 2015

Episode 330: Freestyle Writing Challenge.

I was nominated by Hugh from Hugh’s Views and News to take part in a freestyle writing challenge. Now this certainly was a huge challenge for me, as I am not a writer! Still I do like to try and push myself to at least have a go at new things so I accepted.It was a damn sight harder than I had anticipated as well!

First I would like to outline the rules before I get to my attempt:

1. Open a blank Document

2. Set a stop watch or your mobile phone timer to 5 or 10 minutes, whichever challenge you prefer.
3. Your topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH YOUR TIMER!!!
4. Once you start writing do not stop until the alarm sounds!
5. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spelling and grammar using spell check (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write with correct spelling and grammar.)
6. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation or capitals.
7. At the end of your post write down ‘No. of words = ____” to give an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.
8. Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nomination (at least five (5) bloggers)

I chose the 10 minute challenge as I needed all the time I could get, not being that into science fiction, or for that matter, using my imagination!

If I had to write a script for Dr Who or a Science fction film and had to introduce a monster, I think it would have to be something that incorporated a few of the things that turn my stomach. It would wcertainly slither along the ground leaving a trail of green mucous behind it. The creature would be around waist height. Purple in colour with yellow  and red boils over its entire surface.

Some of the boils would have burst leaving trails of pus and a gaping, raw crater. The sulphurous stench of the ‘Snotbot’ would announce its arrive long before it slimed into view. This would help in stunning the victim, rendering them disoriented. The Snotbot would then slide up shooting pus and snot out of every boil at the unsuspecting victim before finally smothering them to death with their jelly-like bodies.

 

Their prey would be mainly the unwashed! Anyone whose personal hygiene was questionalble would be a target for the Snotbot. Kids that forgot to wash behind their ears, men that scratch their arses and then sniff their fingers would also be fair game!

187 words.

Well there you have it typos and all!

I would like to nominate the following 5 blogs to participate, should they feel like it (you are under no obligation):

But I Smile Anyway.

Fourth Generation Farm Girl

Nutsrock

A Prompt Reply

My Spanglish Familia

When you have the document and the timer ready to go, scroll down to see your subject…

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You are meeting up with a fellow blogger who wants you to show them around your home town. Where do you take them and what do you do?

Episode 329: You Know You Are Addicted to Blogging When…… —

Episode 329: You Know You Are Addicted to Blogging When……

  • One of the first things you do in the morning is to log on to see whether you have any comments or not.
  • You have the ‘WordPress’ App on every device you own and are not afraid to use it!
  • Even when at work, as soon as you have a break, you check your mobile phone for notifications.
  • Whenever something happens, especially if it is funny, you have to blog about it.
  • You have to put your mobile on ‘silent’ at night, because if you hear it vibrate you cannot rest until you have looked at it to see if it is a notification from WordPress.
  • Your family knows exactly where to find you…at your laptop blogging.
  • In conversation, you find yourself saying…”Oh yes, I read/heard about that on (insert blog name).”
  • You find yourself becoming interested in statistics for once in your life, just so you can figure out how many ‘hits’ you have had!
  • You lap up any information you can that gives hints and tips on becoming a better blogger!
Episode 328: One-Liner Wednesday. — May 13, 2015

Episode 328: One-Liner Wednesday.

‘I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination!

This post was inspired by LindaGHill

Episode 327: #BeWoW Day: Ordinary or Extraordinary? —

Episode 327: #BeWoW Day: Ordinary or Extraordinary?

This is my take on what ‘ordinary’ and ‘extraordinary’ means to me in response to Ronovan Writes BeWow post.

I would describe myself as just an ordinary, everyday type of woman. There is nothing remarkable about me; I am average looking, a little on the plump side (ok, a lot), have now reached the point of being ‘middle-aged,’ and have a husband and daughter. I am a quiet unassuming type of person, very introverted at times. Very ordinary!

Wait a minute though…didn’t I join the army as soon as I was able, therefore leaving home and standing on my own two feet as soon as I was 18? What about the fact that I went off to Turkey to marry my first husband, against everyone’s wishes, and had to rope a bemused passer-by in to be one of my witnesses?(I did have a friend that came with me to be the other witness)!

What about the fact that I am now on husband number three? It took me a while to get things right). Lastly, how many other people take 6 attempts before they pass their driving test? (Yes 6)!

In answer to all of those questions, I think that I might actually just qualify as being a little extraordinary! I suppose it just depends on what your definition is. Despite my quietness, I am a pretty determined type of person, and once I get my heart set on something, then I will do my utmost to try to accomplish it. That makes me just an ordinary person with extraordinary tendencies!

Episode 326: Wacky Word Wednesday #2 —

Episode 326: Wacky Word Wednesday #2

It’s my favourite day of the week as it means that I get to choose another weird, wacky or wonderful word. Today’s word is normally used in two ways, needless to say, my favourite one is the naughtiest of the two! So without further ado let’s look at……..

Wanton.  Ooooh this is a salacious and shameless word. It it licentious, not to mention loose, immodest and immoral. This is a lustful and lecherous libertine, playing fast and free with her virtue (or lack of)!

On the other hand it can mean, malicious and malevolent, wilful and wicked. It is the violent and vicious person trashing everything in sight without a care. It is gratuitous but groundless destruction, which is both purposeless and pointless.

I certainly know which of the two would describe me! 🙂

Episode 325: Ice, Ice Baby! — May 12, 2015

Episode 325: Ice, Ice Baby!

Now I am pretty lucky that Mr Grump is rather handy in the DIY department, and will tackle most jobs.However, I am the worst person in the world to have around when things like that have to be done, as I get really stressed out about the mess and the hassle! Added to that the fact that I am not feeling so good at the moment, means that tempers might be a bit fraught if there are any jobs that Mr Grump wants to get done.

My niece has recently moved and we have bought her lovely huge fridge freezer as it is unfortunately too big. It is not quite a year old and has a water and ice facility that has so far never been used as it was never plumbed in. Mr Grump decided straight away that he would be able to do that, and ordered metres of thin pipe needed for the connection as well as some other bits.

After a lot of maneuvering of stuff that was in the way in our kitchen, the new fridge freezer was in place and work was due to commence on Saturday morning which I was dreading! In order to connect it to the nearest water pipe he was going to drill a hole through the kitchen into the downstairs loo, cut the pipe near the sink and fit a new connection.

I got out of the way! After the most horrendous loud drilling that went right through me, and shattered my already frayed nerves, there was a load of banging about, a bit of cursing and then he said he had done it.

Wow, that was quicker than I had expected. He said he was going to turn the water supply back on and that was it. Great. I waited in anticipation. Psssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was a funny noise, but I didn’t move off of the sofa. Mr Grump went to investigate in the kitchen, and yes the water was connected to the pipe but was pouring all over the floor. I think he had missed the bit about connecting that bit of pipe to the bloody thing itself!

I left him to clean up the mess (with my nice tea cloths and kitchen towels Grrrrr), and went online to find the online manual that shows how to connect up the other bit. Anyway, he did manage to sort it out, and I was called out into the kitchen for a ceremonial glass of water from the tap on the new fridge.

It took him quite a bit longer to suss out how to make the ice, but he did it and was feeling pretty pleased with himself. Miss Hap decided she needed to try it for herself and I could hear the humming noise it made but no ice came out. Mr Grump went back to fiddle with it, and made some more.

Later that night just before bed Mr Grump got me a glass of water from the fridge this time to take up with me as I usually do. He asked me if I wanted ice (I didn’t), I thought I would humour him and let him show off so I said yes.

Humming noise, no ice; humming noise, no ice! He opened the door, and I pointed out to him that he should not have put the over on the ice making bit, it was to be stored separately if ice was being used. He crossly told me that he hadn’t put it there (he had)!

Anyway, he put the glass of water under the ice tap and a whole load of ice cubes came flying out of the compartment and all over the floor. That didn’t please him at all. He picked all the ice up, raging and moaning whilst I stood there, shoulders shaking trying not to laugh. He then stomped off to bed leaving me to get my own ice. Really!

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