Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

#Sillysaturday Maggie the Pole Dancer Raunchier Version — December 30, 2017

#Sillysaturday Maggie the Pole Dancer Raunchier Version

I decided to repost some of the #Sillysaturday posts that I did with Sandra to this blog in case you missed them on my Edwina’s Episodes blog that is no more 😦

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week about a Pole Dancer, but this version is a little raunchier.

The feel of the pole between my thighs

Is rather a pleasant surprise

It doesn’t feel daft

Sliding around on the shaft

You can tell by the look in my eyes.

My customers, I just aim to please

As I twirl and perform a striptease

I am truly delighted

To get you excited

Your desires I long to appease

To make me feel like a star

Stuff a wad of cash in my bra

Have a grope of my nips

As you leave me some tips

And buy me a drink at the bar!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Sally has been kind enough to feature my Christmas poem on her wonderful blog. I hope you enjoy it and a very Merry Christmas to you all. — December 24, 2017

Sally has been kind enough to feature my Christmas poem on her wonderful blog. I hope you enjoy it and a very Merry Christmas to you all.

via Smorgasbord Christmas Posts from Your Archives – Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap by Judy E. Martin

#SoCS Yule, You’ll, Yul — December 23, 2017

#SoCS Yule, You’ll, Yul

This week Linda has given us Yule, you’ll or Yul to use for our Stream of Consciousness posts, which can be used any way we choose. Bonus points though if we manage to start the post with one of them.

You’ll be expecting a Christmas post no doubt as we are now only a couple of days away from the big day.

Well, the presents are wrapped, the turkey purchased as well as the Yule log, and the decorations are up. Now all that is left to do is another huge tidy round, oh, and a nice bath for Roxy! Now, she is not going to get dressed up this year as she doesn’t seem to like it for some reason as you will see on Ani’s post here, but I wanted her to look (and more to the point smell) her best.

She was not exactly keen to get in the bath, and tried to escape, but the mission was accomplished and she looks all clean and pretty.

That leaves one less job to do tomorrow so maybe we will get time to chill a bit and watch some Christmas telly. They always drag out the old favourites, I particularly love ‘White Christmas’ with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. I wonder if they will put ‘The King and I’ on with Yul Brynner?  Another classic that gets trotted out during holidays!

#SillySaturday Cinderella —

#SillySaturday Cinderella

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Meet our old pal Maggie the Poledancer, who is off to an audition for a part in the local Pantomime. Click here to meet some of her friends.

A Panto was coming to town

Maggie donned her best gown

She was going to an audition

For the Cinderella position

And didn’t want to let herself down.

The producers were very impressed

And thought that she was the best

Her smile so disarming

She won over Prince Charming

And outshone all of the rest.

Maggie’s career had come very far

From her lap dancing days in the bar

How she loved being on stage

But missed the large wage

She could get from the cash in her bra!

Image Courtesy of Sandra Dorey
The Christmas Tag — December 20, 2017

The Christmas Tag

I have been nominated by the lovely Ritu of But I Smile Anyway to take part in The Christmas Tag. I have been getting into the Christmas spirit lately so am thrilled to have a go. Thanks Ritu! 🙂

 

 

Related image

  • Thank the person that nominated you with a link to their blog
  • Add the picture in your blog
  • Copy these rules into your post
  • Add a link to this original post (littlediyprojects.wordpress.com/thechristmastag)
  • Answer the 10 questions (you can add e:-)xtra Christmas-related questions if you want)
  • Tag at least 3 other bloggers with links to their blogs
  • Have fun!

The Questions:

1. What’s your favourite thing about Christmas?
2. What’s your favourite Christmas memory?
3. Are there special traditions your family has for Christmas?
4. What’s your Christmas wish? (Can be personal or general)
5. What’s your favourite Christmas dish?
6. What’s your favourite Christmas decoration?
7. What’s your favourite Christmas song?
8. Where do you usually celebrate Christmas?
9. What does the ‘Christmas Spirit’ mean to you?
10. Who out of anybody in the world would you want to spend your Christmas with?

The Answers

    1. I love the Christmas music, not just the old classics that get trotted out every year like Slade and Wizzard (although they  always make me smile), but I love a Christmas carol too, and despite not being overly religious I love the Christingle service that the church does for little children, it is beautiful.
    2. My favourite Christmas memory is being with the family playing charades, laughing at the rude ones and also at my Mum always shouting out the answers to the wrong team!
    3. We did have special traditions when we were kids. As well as opening our main Christmas presents in the morning, we would all buy each other little presents, often joke or useful ones that we would call ‘tree presents’ which we would dish out when we all got together Christmas teatime. There was always a lot of hilarity as we squashed into the front room opening things like posing pouches, a ‘jewel’ encrusted dustpan and brush, and of course the inevitable pair of underpants that my Mum had wrapped up for one of the boys  that went to me or my sisters or knickers that went to one of my brothers!
    4. My Christmas wish for everyone is, of course, peace and tolerance for one another.
    5. My favourite Christmas dish is, pigs in blankets, and turkey, oh and gammon, or perhaps the cold meat, mash and pickles we have on Boxing day!
    6. I have a few baubles that my daughter made at nursery that go on the tree every year, and I love sparkly lights too, in fact, our hallway with its ice blue lights look very pretty. I will post a pic at the end.
    7. Well, my favourite Christmas carol is ‘Away in a Manger’ especially when sung by children, and my favourite song is Boney M’s ‘ Mary’s Boy Child (Oh, My Lord).
    8. This year we will be spending it at home, although in the past it has been with my sisters or mum.
    9. The ‘Christmas spirit’ to me means showing warmth and compassion to people, and being aware that not everyone enjoys this time of year for one reason or another.
    10. I am happy spending Christmas with family.

Here are my nominees, that I would love to join in, however, I appreciate that you are all busy and might not have chance to participate, so no pressure!

Hugh

Sue

Sally

Christmas Tag
My sparkly hallway!

 

The Other Side of Christmas — December 19, 2017

The Other Side of Christmas

I wrote this post at the same time last year, and it is just as relevant now as it was then. For most of us, Christmas is a time of joy and happiness, however, there is the other side of Christmas too which for some is anything but.

For some Christmas morning

Is just another day

They won’t be eating turkey

And Santa didn’t stop with his sleigh

****

The old man, now a widower

Faces the day alone

His children are not bothered with him

They have families of their own

****

The young girl who ran away

After years of living a hell

The things her father did to her

Then threatened her not to tell

****

The wife who is too frightened

To say a word out-of-place

In case, she annoys her husband

And he punches her in the face

****

The hungry little toddler

Whose parents are so poor

They don’t even have the essentials

His bed is a mattress on the floor

***

There are people who can help them

To enjoy the festivities

If you want to join in

Then visit one of these websites, please!

***

NSPCC Children’s charity

Crisis Homeless charity

Refuge Sufferers of domestic abuse charity

Salvation Army Christian charity supporting vulnerable people

Age UK Supporting the elderly.

Let’s help Hugh to raise money for Dog’s Trust. — December 18, 2017

Let’s help Hugh to raise money for Dog’s Trust.

via Help Me Raise £250 For The Dogs Trust By Leaving Me A Link To Your Blog

Christmas Limericks Millie Mince Pie —

Christmas Limericks Millie Mince Pie

I do love a limerick and thought that after the success of some of my Halloween limericks, I would share some Christmas ones that I wrote, over the next few days. I hope that you enjoy them. I have written another extra one, this time for JP over at My Husband and I who challenged me to write a limerick about a mince pie! This was a little tricky but I can’t resist a challenge.

Millie the mince pie, deliciously fruity   

At Christmas, always on duty

She is boozy and sweet

Her crust such a treat

A dollop of cream enhances her beauty.

Christmas Limericks. Silly Snowman — December 17, 2017

Christmas Limericks. Silly Snowman

I do love a limerick and thought that after the success of some of my Halloween limericks, I would share some Christmas ones that I wrote, over the next few days. I hope that you enjoy them.

snow

There was a young snowman called Billy 

Who thought  he looked rather silly

With a carrot for a nose

and not many clothes

Plus no-one had made him a willy!

Roxy is Helping out Ani — December 16, 2017

Roxy is Helping out Ani

Sue and Ani have very kindly shared Roxy’s letter to Santa this year which is to help Ani out of a predicament, (Namely to stop Sue form dressing her up for Christmas).

I am sorry that I am so late sharing it here on my blog, I am so far behind, but please comment on the original over at Sue’s place. Thanks 🙂

 

via Ani’s Advent Invitation: Roxy’s letter to Santa

Marsha Ingrao Always Write

Having fun blogging with friends

Rachael's Thoughts

Lifestyle blog featuring the fabulous North East and beyond

My Window

Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art

WordPress.com Apps

Apps for any screen

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV

Jemverse

Life in words

Stuff and what if...

Exploring writing and the creative randomness of life. Snapshots of moments.

Aakashsoyanthone

Aakashsoyanthone

Gin & Lemonade

...with a twist.

Peacock Poetry

by Sam Allen

Tallis Steelyard

The jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Carolina Russo Art

Capturing Essence: Intuitive Watercolors, Fine Art, Illustrations, and Reiki-Infused Creations

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

We Are Holistic

Promoting a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Cindy Knoke

Photography, Birds and Travel

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

Fatty McCupcakes

Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets

From Michigan to Germany

A family from Michigan living abroad in Germany.