Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Don’t You Just Hate it When?….13 Niggles That Wind Me Up! — March 27, 2018

Don’t You Just Hate it When?….13 Niggles That Wind Me Up!

We all have those moments in life. You know, the little niggles that serve no purpose other than to make your day just that little more frustrating. Here are some of the things that really wind me up……

  • You have taken ages styling and straightening your hair (or have just been to the hairdressers) then get caught in a rainstorm (with no brolly)!
  • You get an unexpected cash windfall – then your car breaks down and is going to cost a fortune to repair. Those shoes will have to wait.
  • It’s taken ages to get off to sleep, but just as you feel yourself slipping off, you have a desperate urge to go to the loo.
  • You have spent ages cleaning the bathroom, and someone wants to have a bath.
  • You’re excited about the perfect gift you have bought for someone’s birthday – and find out someone else has bought it as well.
  • You save up for ages to buy something expensive, only to find it is in the sale a few days later!
  • You are invited to a friend’s house, and knock coffee all over her pristine carpet.
  • Your other half has mixed the loads in the washing machine again. Grey bras are not attractive!
  • You are desperate to go to the loo when you get to work, then realise there is no loo roll AFTER you have already been!
  • You realise you can’t walk in those gorgeous high heels that you just bought.
  • You go to use your best mascara only to find your daughter has been ‘practicing her make-up skills’ with it, and there is none left,
  • You go to read an old favourite book, only to remember you loaned it to someone ages ago!
  • You start to write a blog post and run out of ideas half-way through!!

What little niggles wind you up?

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge March 22nd. Follow Your Dreams — March 23, 2018

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge March 22nd. Follow Your Dreams

I have been away from blogging for a while and have missed taking part in Charli’s Flash Fiction Challenge, over at the Carrot Ranch. Go and check out her website as there are lots of challenges that you can take part in and also a whole load of badges to be won.

This is the image that we were given to use, and the topic is ‘follow your dreams. ‘ These are the rules: Oh, and I have used the ‘poet’ badge in my post. 

March 22, 2018, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story using the theme “follow your dreams.” Bonus points for throwing a badge into the tale. Go where the prompt leads.

  • Respond by March 27, 2018, by leaving a link, pingback or story in the comments.
  • If you want your story published in the weekly collection, also post it at Carrot Ranch on Facebook in the post newsfeed (this is the second posting of your story).
  • Follow the style of the flash fiction that follows.
  • Leave a short link on FB with your story if you want one included in the title.
  • Rules are here.

The applause carried her right through the week. She recalled the cheeks flushed with pleasure, and eyes although bright with tears in some faces, shone with delight. Tears appeared in her own eyes now, bittersweet. She had followed her dreams and studied hard to become the dedicated nurse she aspired to be. Yet, she ached to fulfil another need. Playing with words had always been a favourite pastime, and the poem she had written to cheer up her cancer patients brought the house down. Laughter certainly is the best medicine!

Blogger’s Bash Blog Post Competition A Royal Party. — March 19, 2018

Blogger’s Bash Blog Post Competition A Royal Party.

I have just about managed to get my entry in on time for the Blogger’s Bash Competition with the theme of ‘Royalty.’  I hope you enjoy this bit of silliness.

Charlie was hosting a party for the wedding of Harry, his son

“To hell with stuffy formalities, I want this party to be fun!

A rollicking frolicking, knees up, chance to let down one’s heir for a while

I will show that young Meghan Markle, we royals can party with style.

Now, what about the guest list? I’d better invite Mum and Dad

Anne and Eddie and of course Randy Andy, he still thinks that he’s Jack the Lad

And who can forget Camilla?  My beloved trouble and strife

She loves a bop and a booze up, and a sneaky cig does my wife.

Kate and Wills will be desperate, to leave the kiddies at home

Wills can show off his ‘Dad Dancing’, so unbecoming for an heir to the throne!

Mike and Zara are bound to be up or it, Eugenie and Beatrice of course too,

Best I don’t invite Fergie, I can’t have her spoiling our do!

My Harry loves a good shindig, being a bit of a lad in his youth

Splashed all over the tabloids, drunken and acting uncouth.

Mind you, Dad is really no better, with the off-colour jokes that he makes

He dishes out plenty of insults, along with his many handshakes!

I need to choose some good music to make the party go with a swing

I hope they haven’t invited those Spice Girls, there’s only one of them that can sing!

There seems so much more to that Meghan, although she appears very nice

She is no shrinking violet, and has been around the block once or twice!

As long as they are both happy, which they seem to affirm

Then as Harry’s proud father, I will welcome her into ‘The Firm! ‘

#Sillysaturday Sandy’s Workout — January 27, 2018

#Sillysaturday Sandy’s Workout

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week. Sandy decides he needs to lose a bit of weight and workout.

Sandy had a great time with Shelma

When they went out on their date

But he wanted to shape up

And decided he needed to lose weight

He had become rather chunky

And that made him feel rather glum

His goal was to be streamlined and sexy

It was time to tone up that tum!

Shelma had a great figure

wherever they went she had turned heads

Sandy was scared she’d lose interest

And that thought had filled him with dread

He worked out at the gym almost daily

although at first it seemed tough

He knew it was definitely worth it

When Shelma told him he looked buff!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
#Sillysaturday Shelma’s New Man — January 20, 2018

#Sillysaturday Shelma’s New Man

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week. Shelma has found herself a new man.

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Shelma was going out on a date
So excited she just couldn’t wait
She was looking her best
In her January Sales dress
The evening was going to be great

Sandy lit Shelma’s fuse
She loved his winkle picker shoes
It brightened her mood
To be with such a cool dude
He banished her January blues!

They wanted to paint the town red
But painted the beach blue instead
A moonlit walk along the sand
Strolling together hand in hand
Anticipating what lay ahead

#Sillysaturday Maggie and Shelma in Town — January 13, 2018

#Sillysaturday Maggie and Shelma in Town

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week. Our good friend Maggie bumps into her friend Shelma shopping in town.

Maggie went shopping in town

Enjoying a good look around

She thought it was great

Bumping into her mate

They went to a café to sit down

They chatted over a nice cup of sea

Both of them buzzing like bees

Comparing their goodies

From high heels to hoodies

The sales made shopping a breeze!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey
#JusJoJan 2018. January 8th Pants — January 8, 2018

#JusJoJan 2018. January 8th Pants

I hope that you are enjoying  Linda’s Just Jot it January posts.  We are starting week two now, but it is not too late for you to join in the fun if you feel like it.

Here is today’s prompt word.

Your prompt for January 8th, 2018, brought to you by the many layered pensitivity, is “Pants.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit pensitivity at her blog, “pensitivity101” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/

Pants. Just the sound of that word brings a childish giggle. Silly really as we all wear them, (well, most of us do that don’t go ‘Commando’)! Of course, being British, the type of pants that I am referring to are underwear, panties, knickers, underpants, or whatever else you want to call these undergarments, not trousers!

There seem to be as many different types of pants as there are names for them and, I think many of us women have certain types of pants that we use for different occasions.

  • The thong (with their cheese slicer type string, which cuts in all the wrong places), on the one end of the extreme.
  • The ‘pulling pants,’ you know the lacy scratchy ones that you wear on a night out if you are feeling lucky, they look nice but are as uncomfortable as hell.
  • The ‘time of the month pants.’ The grotty ones that have gone grey in the wash and have loose bits of elastic hanging off, that nobody is going to see.
  • The ‘shapewear pants’. The pull ’em up and tuck everything in kind of knickers that come up to just below your boobs, and sometimes just to the tops of your thigh, the idea is to give a smooth and slim silhouette. Not bloody likely! With my stomach, the fat has to go somewhere and if it is squeezed into a slinky vice-gripped tube, will likely spill out over the top, making it appear as if I have two sets of boobs! Also, the minute you sit down the damn things will slowly start to roll up and gain momentum as the fat flops out. This leads to numerous trips to the loo to sort them out and a great deal of muttering and cursing at the annoyance of them.
  • The ‘Bridget Jones’ or ‘Mummy’ pants. These are a close relation to shapewear above but not as tight usually and only waist-high as opposed to chest high. They are ideal for when a big meal is imminent, and you want a bit of room to fit all of the courses in. It is a good idea to wear these with the elasticated waist trouser or a loose-fitting dress. Might be a bit of a passion killer though if you are out on the pull!
  • The bloomers.  I know nobody wears these anymore but I couldn’t resist including them. My Nan used to wear these and they came right down to her knees where they were elasticated. There was plenty of room for manoeuvre, and with a pair of ‘stays’ on top, not only would they keep you warm, but also keep young ladies chaste as it would take ages to get that lot off!
  • The ‘work pants.’ These do not need much explanation; they are the comfy, colourful knickers that are normally (in my case) part of a pack of five or even seven that will do for everyday wear. They will not show you up if you get run over by a bus (does anyone else’s Mum ever say that you need to be wearing clean knickers in case you get run over by a bus)?

Now, I wasn’t going to write about men’s undercrackers but I felt it would be mean to leave them out, so although I have no personal experience of wearing them, it won’t stop me from commenting on what I think of them!

  • The thong or if you prefer the ‘posing pouch’. YUCK! I am sorry, but not many people look good in a thong and certainly not men! I am sure they are just as uncomfy for men as they are for women too!
  • The briefs or ‘budgie smugglers.’ Again, in my opinion, they are not that flattering either. They conjure up images in my mind of the type of thing an oiled up bodybuilder wears with massive shoulders and legs, but not much in the trouser department if you know what I mean! ‘Budgie smugglers is overly generous.
  • The ‘Y fronts.’ Have you ever seen such ugly undies?! They seem to come in a high-waisted plain white colour that your grandad wouldn’t be seen dead in, or a really lairy paisley or garish pattern in vomit-inducing lurid colours. Definitely a passion killer!
  • The boxer shorts. These are in my opinion, the best of the lot. There are the loose, hang free type, or the rather snugger, show off the lunchbox, type of affair. You can probably guess which ones I prefer!

Sorry if this post hits a bum note with anyone!

A Look Back at 2017, in Blog Posts. — December 31, 2017

A Look Back at 2017, in Blog Posts.

On this last day of 2017, I thought it would be fun to look back over the year at what has been going on in my life and sharing some of my favourite as well as most popular blog posts with you.

As some of you may know, I had another blog Edwina’s Episodes, which had just reached its 3 year anniversary. I was proud of how I had built that blog up, and the number of people who enjoyed it and interacted with me. Well, at the beginning of October, I decided that I could no longer use it as there were so many technical problems with it (mostly from me buggering about with it). Sadly, the site was down more than it was up and I even managed to get myself locked out of it, as well as delete most of it, so it has been retired for good now.

Luckily, I had already set up this blog in my own name, mainly for writing my poems, but as I ended up posting everything on the other blog anyway, it got rather abandoned! It is now fully up and running, but of course, does not have as much content on it, although I am doing my best to rectify that. I won’t be able to link to all of the posts I wanted to over the past year as they are on the other blog, but I have brought some posts over here, and you can click on the links to read them.

Anyway, back to 2017. Starting the year, I was anxiously awaiting getting accepted for a university to study for a BSc in Adult Nursing.  After a series of tests and interviews, I finally got the news I was waiting for on my birthday in February that I was accepted, and started in April as a Student Nurse.  Being a ‘mature student’ was harder than I expected mainly because I have quite a lot of experience in nursing already, but I have to apply it from a different perspective!

As far as blogging was concerned, I decided to introduce my video poems on a Monday as a feature, and team up with Sandra Dorey from Wild Daffodil blog to take part in her #Sillysaturday posts. It started with her making these beautiful little figures out of pebbles, flowers and stones and me telling her that it would be fun if they had a little story to go with them. Sandra suggested a poem would be a good way of telling their story and our collaboration was born! I have to say, I am absolutely loving it and really hope that we will continue this in 2018. My favourite character so far has got to be Maggie the lap dancer.

This all leads to Sandra actually getting some greetings cards printed, some with her artwork on, and some with both her artwork and my poem. What a thrill it was to receive a special package from Daffy, especially as those cards are such excellent quality too.

Throughout the year, I tried to embark on a healthier lifestyle, joining the gym and also trying to adopt a healthier diet. I appreciate that this is still a work in progress but it is something that I am keen to continue in 2018. Hopefully, I will be able to stop myself snacking whilst writing assignments and comfort eating when it all gets too stressful! I will keep you posted of course, on my endeavours.

I wanted to nurture my blog a little more, (before I ended up breaking it) and decided that I needed a little help with some aspects of Social Marketing and Pinterest in particular. I contacted the lovely Suzie from Suzie Speaks who as I am sure many of you know, is a successful  Media Management Consultant and she helped me to grow my Pinterest account followers and views substantially and gave me some fantastic advice to boot! Thankfully, she was there to help out when it all went pear-shaped with my Edwina’s Episodes blog too.

Towards the end of the year, I was thrilled to see that my Halloween and Christmas limericks went down really well with everyone. What really made my day though, was when I actually had requests to write limericks about an elf and a mince-pie! That is what I love so much about the blogging community, the interaction that we have. As yet I do not have a particular feature in mind for 2018, but perhaps I could do something like that. Any ideas would be welcome.

Finally, I would just like to thank all of you so much for reading my blog, especially to those of you still with me despite all the glitches, hitches and cock-ups that happened throughout the year. Your friendship and support mean the world to me. I look forward to seeing what 2018 brings for us, and I wish you all a Happy New Year!!

#Sillysaturday Maggie the Pole Dancer Raunchier Version — December 30, 2017

#Sillysaturday Maggie the Pole Dancer Raunchier Version

I decided to repost some of the #Sillysaturday posts that I did with Sandra to this blog in case you missed them on my Edwina’s Episodes blog that is no more 😦

I have teamed up again with the talented Sandra (or Daffy as I like to call her), from Wild Daffodil  to bring you another bit of silliness this Saturday.  Sandra is incredibly artistic and creative, and I just love the images she has created out of shells, stones and flowers.

One of the nicest things about Sandra’s blog is that you never know what she is going to get up to next, from beach art to knitted wigs, and mandalas to making spirals in her garden.

Here is our little story for this week about a Pole Dancer, but this version is a little raunchier.

The feel of the pole between my thighs

Is rather a pleasant surprise

It doesn’t feel daft

Sliding around on the shaft

You can tell by the look in my eyes.

My customers, I just aim to please

As I twirl and perform a striptease

I am truly delighted

To get you excited

Your desires I long to appease

To make me feel like a star

Stuff a wad of cash in my bra

Have a grope of my nips

As you leave me some tips

And buy me a drink at the bar!

Image courtesy of Sandra Dorey

Sally has been kind enough to feature my Christmas poem on her wonderful blog. I hope you enjoy it and a very Merry Christmas to you all. — December 24, 2017

Sally has been kind enough to feature my Christmas poem on her wonderful blog. I hope you enjoy it and a very Merry Christmas to you all.

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