Rhyme and No Reason!

Blogger, author and rhymester who likes to find the humour in life.

Episode 466. Wedding Day Reflections — August 20, 2015

Episode 466. Wedding Day Reflections

Today is my 6th wedding anniversary to Mr Grump. Although we have only been married a short while, we go way back and actually met for the first time in 1984. This is our story here

We were originally going to wait for a while before getting married, but after a few months, neither of us wanted to wait, bearing in mind how long it took us to get back together again.

As both of us has been married before, we decided that we would go for just a quiet ceremony with mostly family and a few friends. The local Registry Office was closed and in the process of being relocated, so in the interim they were using the Sports and Leisure Centre.

This was ok but had a hell of a walk leading up to it, almost like a helter-skelter, and that put me off, as both Mum and Dad would have a job with it, not to mention me with my high heels!

There was an alternative which was much cheaper, and in the centre of town, which I thought was ideal,  so we booked it up and set about organising everything else. The evening was taken care of as we were going to a small pub which had karaoke (Miss Hap loves it). The landlord was laying on a BBQ, and my brother-in-law (Mr Musician) was going to sing for us later on.

The cake was being made by one of my sisters (Mrs Masterchef), and we had got everything else off of the internet (yes, even the dress). My sister-in-law just happens to be a hairdresser so that was sorted as well.

Just before the big day, the dress arrived (luckily). It was a little more elaborate than I had envisaged and had a huge skirt, plus small train at the back. This would have been fine had we opted for the Leisure Centre to marry in, but our ‘venue’ was not quite what I had expected.

When we went to see it, there were beautiful gardens out the back, but the ‘wedding room’ was tiny, and only accommodated about 6 or 8 guests! Bearing in mind, Best Man, witnesses, Miss Hap and us, that was going to be it! Everything else was in place invitations sent out, the lot.

After crying and getting myself in a state, we decided who was going to come with us. Everyone else waited at our house (we were only going to be about an hour all told). My sister-in-law gave me and Miss Hap a lift to the venue, and we met up with the others there!

Our best friend Karen, who was in the army with us was a witness, as was my older sister, and my Dad too.

Dad signing the register_wm
View from outside the window of Dad signing the register
KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
My step-mum and a very dear friend peeping through the window at proceedings!

Despite everything, it was a very emotional service and we both cried! It was out in the garden for photos, and back to ours (which had suddenly been decorated with banners and balloons),  for a buffet until we headed off to the pub a few hours later!

It might not have been the fanciest of weddings, but it was a brilliant day that we all enjoyed. Sitting on patio chairs in our small back garden, with a load of family dressed in all our finery was so relaxed; we all had a great laugh. Especially when we found out that our lovely Best Man, forgot his cufflinks and improvised with some paper clips!

Then later when some friends came to the pub. The kids on the karaoke, the bangers and burgers on the barbie, and then Mr Musician serenading us with ‘Hotel California’ was brilliant; tucking into a delicious chocolate wedding cake made by Mrs Masterchef completed a fantastic day.

Episode 465: One-Liner Wednesday: Saucy! — August 19, 2015

Episode 465: One-Liner Wednesday: Saucy!

On walking into my bay of elderly ladies. I always wish them ‘good morning’ and then have a quick chat with them all. This is the response I got from one of them.

” You look cheery this morning, Did someone tickle your fancy last night?”

This post is inspired by LindaGHill

Episode 464. Wacky Word Wednesday #15 —

Episode 464. Wacky Word Wednesday #15

Wednesday is here which means it is time to pay tribute to, and celebrate another weird, wacky or wonderful word. Today I have chosen one that, although still used frequently, has a light and fluffy texture to it, that always brings a smile to my face.

Kerfuffle. This word is causing a commotion or creating chaos. It is getting mixed up in the middle of a melee or fighting your way out of a fracas.

Causing a rumpus, starting a scrimmage, or even bickering and brawling, this word likes to get in the thick of the action. It is a free-for-all fight or feud that anyone is welcome to take part in.

This word is the result of a few drinks on a Saturday night in my local town centre!

Episode 463: Tuesday Tidbit: Foreign Bodies (18+) — August 18, 2015

Episode 463: Tuesday Tidbit: Foreign Bodies (18+)

Today I thought I would do something a little different for the Tidbit, and look at some of the strangest objects that have ‘accidentally’ found their way into people’s rectums and have had to be removed in hospital!

  • Aerosol cans: For some reason deodorant is rather popular!
  • Glass bottles and light bulbs! You would have to sit down very gingerly.
  • Oranges and aubergines. What a terrible waste of food.
  • A coffee jar. I should imagine it was instant rather than filter.
  • An egg. That had got to have been hard-boiled surely.
  • Curtain rod. Not the right way to draw attention to oneself!

Some people always go that little bit too far!

Episode 462: Ronovan’s Writes: Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge #58 Rise & Save — August 17, 2015

Episode 462: Ronovan’s Writes: Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge #58 Rise & Save

Thanks to the wonderful Ronovan for this week’s prompt words of ‘rise’ and ‘save.’ Mr Grump also contributed by giving me the subject as I was going to write this Haiku first:

“I need a pay rise”

“Forget it, you are fired!”

One way to save cash.

Instead, I have gone with this:

https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-58-rise-save/

Episode 461: Recycled Teenager. — August 16, 2015

Episode 461: Recycled Teenager.

When my dad was well into his seventies, he and my step-mother still tried to live life to its fullest. They went off on all sorts of cruises everywhere, and when they were back at home, were members of various clubs; ‘The Walkers’ club and ‘Munch Club’ speak for themselves but they also belonged to what they referred to as the ‘Recycled Teenagers’ club, where a group of like-minded pensioners strutted their stuff to music and got up to all sorts of mischief.

For me, the teenage years although pretty uneventful are not ones that I would be keen to revisit. The one thing that I didn’t get as a teenager (apart from a bust, which I was very resentful about), was spots.

Yes, I was lucky as many of my peers suffered with dreadful acne that was both painful and soul-destroying for a young image-conscious teen. I escaped with the odd spot once a month and that was it.

So why the hell at nearly 50 years old have I suddenly got 4 spots on my face! All at once, all in the same day. I mentioned that I had a pretty rough day yesterday, but when I got home and took off my glasses, I thought the bridge of my nose was sore where they had rubbed, but no, there was a spot there, its twin had settled just near the corner of my eye, the triplet by the corner of my mouth, and its quadruplet right on top of a small mole I have just under my chin!

Not the most attractive sight in the world but when I asked Mr Grump to look at the one on my nose, he just laughed because it had caused the bridge of my nose to swell up a bit, making me look a little bit odd and distorted (well more than usual anyway)!

I know sometimes as we get older it is said that we recede back to our childhood! What happened to the 40s, 30s and 20s??!!!

Episode 460: Grieving Flower. —

Episode 460: Grieving Flower.

Today I decided to have a go at something a little different and used the writing and photo prompt generator created by Jennifer Wells. It is great fun and the words I got were ‘grieving flower.’ I knew just what to write about,  and here is my Haiku:

Sad Sunflower

Episode 459: A Bit of Sunday Silliness. —

Episode 459: A Bit of Sunday Silliness.

I thought I would share something that might make you smile this morning. You may remember some time ago when I posted a clip of my favourite advert featuring Dave and his strut in stiletto heels here

Well, this is what the company has followed it up with. 

Episode 458: I Should Be So Lucky! — August 15, 2015

Episode 458: I Should Be So Lucky!

Tonight I am absolutely shattered! As I briefly mentioned yesterday, I am working completely different shifts to normal in order that I can cover child care for the summer holidays for Miss Hap.

Just as I had finally caught up with my sleep after working two 12 and a half hour night shifts on Monday and Tuesday, it was time for me to go back in today. Stupidly I thought I would have to do a ‘long day’ (12 and a half hours) as opposed to my normal ‘short shift’ (7 and a half hours). By the time I realised my mistake it was too late to change as we were desperately short-staffed and I headed off to work with a heavy heart.

When only 6  of us turned up for work looking after 26 patients with at least 6 that liked to wander around and escape first chance they got, I knew it was going to be a busy day, particularly as 2 staff were on short days, but of course you get on with it.

We doubled up as much as we could and managed to just about get everyone washed in time for lunch,  Apart from getting a smacked face from a patient that didn’t want to have her face washed, and tripping over a crash mat into my colleague, the morning went ok up until my break time.

I decided that I would treat myself to the full English breakfast, which I took outside to eat with my colleague on the smoker’s bench (no, I haven’t taken it up again even though I felt like it today)! I managed to slop baked bean juice all down my dress which left a lovely orange blob on my grotty grey uniform which did nothing to enhance it. The wasps seemed to love it though and kept buzzing around me which, of course, made me shriek.

Once I got back to the ward one of my colleagues started dabbing at me with an antibacterial wipe, as unbeknownst to me I had a massive splodge of bird poo on my side (how the hell that got there, I have no idea. Great….looking nice and professional now. Added to that the coffee that missed my mouth, and decided to join the party, I was rather more colourful that I started out!

I thought the afternoon might be easier as we were sent 2 more staff when the other two left, which although still left us short, was a great help. It looked up a bit when I was talking to a colleague explaining something with a hand on my hip and a really tall handsome young relative decided to link his arm through mine for some reason (not that I complained)!

After that, it was downhill all the way! The restless patients had a renewed vigour to escape and did not want to be coaxed or cajoled to stay. Hoists played up, zimmer frames disappeared and one that we did have was viciously guarded by one of my ladies who was convinced it was hers and I was not to let anyone have it. I tried explaining it belonged to the hospital but she was not having it and I was on the receiving end of some very strong words several times until her daughter visited and told her it was indeed the hospital’s.

So my day was rather manic. and despite the fact that actually it is just a normal day on our ward, the longer hours were rather draining! Still, isn’t bird poo supposed to be lucky? Must check that Lottery ticket tomorrow!

Episode 457: Go On, Spit it Out! — August 14, 2015

Episode 457: Go On, Spit it Out!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Break the Silence.”

I thought that I would have a go at today’s writing prompt from the Daily Post as it was something that resonates with me.

I have always been pretty timid and shy, as well as a people pleaser so the idea of speaking out about something is alien to me. I would rather carry on being taken advantage of, worrying or seething inside than confronting the issue head-on and trying to sort out the problem.

Oh yes, I know that I should speak up or shut up,as opposed to bottling everything up, until the inevitable explosion, where I would end up incoherently blabbing about something that happened ages ago!

Mostly though, I chose to keep quiet. Notice I said chose. I am becoming stronger, especially now that I am fast approaching the half a century milestone, and realise that life already too short is getting a damn sight shorter!

I have, little by little, been speaking up about things. There are still many that I can’t broach yet as I do not want to lose one of my friends (she has a partner who I have begun to see in a totally different light, and it is not pleasant)m but there are also some situations that I have tackled and I am pleased I did.

I e-mailed my boss and outlined my concerns at work. I did get called into her office, and explained what was wrong. After consulting with a senior member of staff who backed me up, she did take it seriously (shame she couldn’t just take my word for it, but at least I got somewhere).

I am also speaking up when I am not feeling ‘well’ (anxiety) which I just left until it got too much and would have to go to the doctor.  I think people are pretty understanding about it.

I have began to realise that no-one else is going to understand my resentment of a situation if I do not let them know that it is upsetting me for whatever reason. So I am going to assert myself more and ‘spit it out!’

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