Welcome to my Wacky word Wednesday! I do love digging up weird, wonderful or wacky words to share, that quite frankly, are not getting the usage they deserve! Today I have found one that is still around, but not as popular as it used to be (probably because to be called it is not exactly complimentary. I love the sound of this word as it is, but that can be improved even more if you inject a bit of venom into it!
Gormless. This is a ‘lights on but nobody home’ kind of a word. Vacant and vacuous. dopey and dim-witted, the kind of puzzled and perplexed look that shows a total lack of comprehension. It is the airhead, who can’t concentrate, the numskull that doesn’t get it no matter how many times it is repeated!
It is the dunderhead fooling around and messing everything up; the silly idiot playing pitiful pranks. All-in-all, a pretty apt word to describe how I am feeling at the moment trying to learn things for my new job!
I have always had rather a passionate love affair with food, It is, after all, vital for our very survival. For some, though it is just fuel in order to keep the body functioning properly, and not something they particularly think much about. They eat when they need to, and ensure that they consume the right balance of nutrients to keep them within a healthy weight range.
For me, though, food is so much more than that, it is an experience. I love to savour and enjoy; it is a pleasure to be shared with others, whether it be around a huge table, or sitting on a towel at the beach! Give me a buffet and I am in my element; Eying up the selection of foods laid out, enticing me with their irresistible looks, and inviting me to devour them.
Even more than this is my desire to attend a ‘Medieval Banquet.’ Get out of the way Henry, that ham is mine! Just the thought of the succulent meats, tender vegetables, and plump juicy fruits not to mention all of the other goodies that would be on offer, is enough to send me into frenzy!!
Food is also linked to events, dates or occasions. For me Bonfire Nights as a child were wrapping up warmly against the chilly November night, watching the fireworks, and then eating something warm and hearty, such as a stew and jacket potatoes with chunks of bread. Christmas dinners, of course, with the traditional roast turkey, stuffing, pigs in blankets, sprouts (the only time I eat them), roast potatoes, and all the other trimmings. Once that was eaten, it was either a brisk walk or a slump on the sofa for a nap!
One more food I have to give a mention to is bacon. Just the smell it cooking, can rouse the laziest teenager from their bed to breakfast in record time! For me, it is caravanning holidays with my family. We always had cooked breakfast when we were on holiday, and the ‘full English’ was the perfect start to set us up for the day.
But, my love of food has cost me dearly. Well, actually, truth be told, not my love of food, more so my greed with food. As I got older, and life became a little tougher, I sought out my loyal and faithful love. It was always there for me and made me feel better. It gave me comfort and, for a while, respite. Unfortunately, it also gave me Type 2 diabetes.
My over-indulgence was to blame, I did not heed the danger signs, the weight continued to pile on and I did nothing to counteract it. I used food too much for comfort, paying no heed to the negative effect it was having on me.
However, this is a positive post. I can still have a good relationship with food, but not so much of an obsessive one. I can still eat the foods I enjoy, just in smaller quantities and not as often! The best thing though is that food can still be a pleasurable experience to be shared with others, and as long as I rein in my urges to eat everything in sight, I might even get to that banquet!
Those people who I did not understand who ‘ate to live’ rather than my philosophy of ‘living to eat’ had got it mostly right. However, I do believe that there should be no shame in enjoying food; I can still feel the comfort and warmth that food gives me, but I can eat sensibly so that my body can feel the benefits of it too!
I have got a wealth of wonderful blogs for you this week with posts about food, things going wrong, a brilliant short story, and what we may or may not find attractive.
I hope that this has whetted your appetite, and that you go and visit each of these blogs as there are still many goodies for you to feast on that I have not included. (Why does everything have to be about food for me? Bloody dieting)!
Nutsrock This post is from one of my favourite bloggers. Not only can Linda tell a funny story, but she is also a very practical and resourceful woman as you will see from reading this post.
Above The River I was directed to this blog by another blogger, and was thrilled that things do not always go right in her world either (I mean that in the nicest possible way)! I was bellowing with laughter at this post.
Eric’s Blog I know I am not an art connoisseur, (I can’t even draw), but I know what I like and this isn’t it! I am glad that Eric is on my side in this one as well.
A Reading Writer This post is by another of my Writing 101 classmates. The poem spoke to me about my own insecurities, but then I thought Sod it, who makes up the rules anyway?!
Lily Pups Life Another post that I can relate to well. This is an interesting post, and I am full off admiration for Lily for making a very hard decision. I wish her all the best.
Blonde Write More As you know, I love a bit of Flash Fiction and this story caught my eye, because of the clever interpretation of the prompt word.
I enjoyed having a go at TJs Household Haiku Challenge last week and seeing what others had come up with, so I thought I would have another go at it. This week the subject is ‘oil.’
For the Tuesday Tidbit this week I thought I would have a light-hearted look at how the sex drive changes over the years.
The teenage boy is usually desperate to have sex and tries his hardest to find someone that will sleep with him. When this fails, it is not unknown for them to have a stash of adult mags, under the bed to ahem, pore over!
The teenage girl, however, does not know how to deal with her raging hormones, She does not want to risk sleeping with someone who isn’t in love with her, only to be dumped and have them blab and brag about it to all and sundry, causing her huge embarrassment. No, she will stamp and stomp around the house bursting into tears at the slightest provocation.
Both sexes in their twenties are usually raring to go when it comes to sex. They think they invented the Karma Sutra and are at it constantly several times per day, anywhere and everywhere they can. Forget eating and sleeping sex really is ‘the food of love’ at this stage.
During the thirties, things can slow down a little, especially for women, and particularly if they have young children. Tiredness can be a real passion killer, as can little uninvited visitors to the bedroom in the middle of the night. Men are more willing to risk it, but are often rebuffed, or end up with a little person wedged in the middle of the bed, which curtails any further sexy thoughts!
The forties and fifties. Women can very often reach their sexual peak during their 40s and 50s. more so if the kids are grown up! This is where the men very often slacken off due to ill health, or perhaps pressures of work. Things are starting to die down now and those all night sexual marathons are distant memories, replaced by perfunctory monthly couplings. This is where the women can feel rather let down and frustrated. However, for some that are going through ‘the change’, they are more than happy to lay off the sex for a while as they don’t need anything else to make them feel hot and sweaty!
The Sixties and beyond. This is a time when the menopause is usually finished, and some people are more relaxed due to having more time on their hands having retired from work. This is also when things can really go downhill for some men, Help is at hand, though, (or rather somewhere else), and there are those little blue pills that might be able to perk up the love life.
Now I know why they like to be called ‘recycled teenagers!’
Last week saw me at an appointment with a ‘Health and Well-Being Advisor.’ I am having a bit of trouble managing my weight still and am seriously lacking in motivation due to being in a bit of a low mood. Anyway, this, of course, is having a knock-on effect with my Diabetes and I am constantly getting other minor things wrong which are annoying.
Anyway, time to take things in hand and I trotted off, to be told what I already knew, that I was overweight and unhealthy. Unfortunately, things were worse than I had anticipated. I had reluctantly braved the scales that morning to see what the damaged was, and was not impressed with the figures, despite trying not to put all my weight on there and make it worse! The problem with having a big tummy us that you can’t see the display on the scales so my balancing act was not helping and I had to let loose the full load!
I was greeted by a very slim and smiley woman who assured me that we would be able to sort something out and get me into some kind of diet and exercise routine. My height and weight were measured (in metric, I had done it in feet and inches and stone as the figures were smaller), and then my BMI (body mass index), was worked out.
I had done enough of these myself on patients to know that the result was not going to be pretty and it wasn’t. Morbidly obese! Morbidly obese, Oh My God, how the hell did I let myself get into this state.
The next little treat was the hips to waist ratio. Christ, please let my hips be bigger than my waist….PLEASE! I jokingly mentioned that there was not a lot in it, and sure enough it was only 3cms. Again I joked that I had not been blessed with an hourglass figure. At least my hips were bigger than my waist…JUST!
These numbers were crunched on the computer and it was gauged on a coloured thermometer type thing. Needless to say, it shot straight up to the top which was not only red but had a sad face emoticon to add insult to injury! Well, actually that was not the only insult as there was an explanation as to each category and mine was ‘over fat.’ Over fat, How bloody rude! Kick a girl when she is down why don’t you.
She then wanted to see what my fitness levels were. What hideous torture have they got planned for me this time? I wondered. Luckily, it was just a sit to stand test to see how many I could do in 30 seconds. I actually passed this one with flying colours, having completed 15 when the average was 12. Mind you, thinking about it, who was it average for? Not some young athletic type I am sure of that!
The penultimate check was the good old body fat measure. I had to stand gripping what looked like a steering wheel device for the WiiFit, with my arms outstretched until it scanned me over and displayed my overall blubber content! Well, at least it was less than half!!!
Last but by no means least, was a questionnaire to assess mood. Well as you can imagine, it was right down there in the lowest quarter. It might have been a bit better if they had done that first, but I doubt it would have been by much.
I came home armed with charts and wheels and ‘My Fitness Pal’ app downloaded on my phone; my already low self-esteem in tatters!
Maybe this is just the kick up the arse I need to do something about it!
Woo-hoo, it’s Wednesday again and time to polish up another word that it can shine in the spotlight. I seem to have already got a bit of a theme going this week, so will continue in the same vein. I am sure it is of no surprise to you that this week’s word is..
Debauchery. Yes, let’s go on a bender and have a blowout with this word; live life in the fast lane and burn the candle at both ends. It is gluttony, gorging on goodies, an orgy of overindulgence and feasting on festivities.
Getting down and dirty in the depths of depravity, frolicking and fornicating. It is having your cake and eating it – as well as everyone else’s. Drinking and dancing, revelling in ribaldry, a lusting for life!
Actually, it sounds like a bloody good night out to me!
Miss Hap has been nagging at me this weekend to go to our recently revamped McDonalds, as it has had quite a makeover.
Needing to go into town and never being one to resist the lure of a double sausage and egg McMuffin, I decided to give it a whirl, and of course Mr Grump came as well.
On entering, I noticed straight away that there had been several major changes. The first one being that there was no queue at the counter which was straight in front of us. Although it was not overly busy when we arrived, this is still unusual.
Dotted around the restaurant were ‘pay stations’ where large screens were placed in order that food could be ordered. It was all the latest touch screen technology and a card reader was placed below it to take the payment.
Pretty impressive so far. We had a receipt spewed out which was to be taken to ‘collection point 1’ (very Argos), which Miss Hap went to collect whilst myself and Mr Grump settled on rather low down stools of different colours.
Attached to the tables were the latest tablets on pedestal type things which could be twirled around according to whether you wanted it portrait or landscape. I was just browsing through the apps on the desktop when our food arrived, a; present and correct and in under 5 minutes.
Of course we at the tablet tables as Miss Hap wanted to play, so I chose the Logo game which we did extremely well at.
What a bizarre experience, though, playing on a tablet with greasy fingers seemed wrong to me (all this brand new and shiny equipment getting all mucked up)! Not only that but isn’t eating together supposed to be a social experience? Granted we were all playing the game together but it was a bit odd, seeing as at home whilst sitting around the table eating, technology is banned! (I am the worst offender with my laptop).
I cannot decide whether it is a good thing or a bad thing!
Things are heating up around here as I get ‘in the mood’ for my Tuesday Tidbit post. Speaking of which, I am interested in knowing what ‘lights your fire’ when it comes to getting ready to get it on. Here are a few of the more obvious ones:
Setting the scene. Most of us are familiar with this old chestnut! The candle-lit meal, good food, good wine, a bit of Barry White (or whatever floats your boat) playing soft and low. Something sexy for dessert, like strawberries or chocolate or both, that you can feed each other, or just have each other for dessert!
Watching a sexy movie together. Mind you be careful that you don’t go over the top and put on something hardcore that will scare your partner to death, thinking they are going to have a lot to live up to, or it might end up killing the mood! By the same token, a Disney movie is not going to get you very far either (unless of course, that just happens to be your thing)!
Give Each Other A Massage A sensual massage can be a great lead-up to a bit of loving. Hands stroking all over the body discovering all those sensitive little places…let’s hope that no-one is ticklish!
Having a Bath or Shower together. This can definitely become very steamy; slippery soap, lathering each other up, especially in all those little crevices. Providing no-one burns themselves on the hot tap, or sits on the plug, then bathtime can be lots of fun! Just don’t over-fill it or there could be a bit of a tidal wave with all that motion!
Do any of these get you in the mood, or is it something else entirely?
This is the last day of the quote challenge that I was nominated for by the lovely Erika whose blog, if you haven’t already visited, you should go and have a look around. There is lots there to inspire and delight you.
The rules of the challenge:
Post your favorite quotes or your own quotes for 3 days in a row.
Thank the person who nominated you
Pass it on to 3 other bloggers.
Being a person that loves their food, I thought this quote was particularly apt for me:
‘One cannot think well, love well. sleep well, if one has not dined well.’ Virginia Woolf
Here are my nominees for the challenge. I would love it if you want to participate but you are under no obligation to.
Rhyme and No Reason! 
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