I have been pretty negative about the process of aging recently and how I am starting to feel (not to mention look) old. I have decided that there must be some positives to being older, and here are a few things that I have noticed….
You can say what you ‘bloody well like’, in the words of my 82-year-old mother! Yes, once you reach a ripe old age you have earned the right to say what you like about anything; regardless of whether or not it causes offence or hurts anyone’s feelings. I have been in the supermarket with Mum when she has told the assistant on the deli counter that she ‘doesn’t want that plastic ham’ or she’s ‘not paying that much for a bit of cheese’ etc. They can’t decide whether or not she is joking but soon get the message when she turns on her heel and just stomps (well hobbles nowadays unfortunately) off! I. or my sisters (whoever has the pleasure of being with her) are left cringing in her wake, rolling our eyes at the bewildered assistant.
She likes to say what she thinks about members of the family too. Either directly, once she told me that a trouser suit I had bought would look better on my sister as ‘she has got the figure for it’. Very true, but I was gutted, and never wore it again! Or indirectly, as in when someone has left the room and before they are even out of earshot she will remark about how much weight they have ‘piled on’ or how awful their outfit is!
Another advantage is selective hearing. This can come in very handy when you don’t want to do something. For example, my Mum hates putting her heating on, and would rather sit there shivering under a blanket than be nice and cosy in a warm room. So when any of us walk in to her little icebox, the conversation goes something like this.
“Why haven’t you got your heating on?”
“What?”
” I SAID, WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOT YOUR HEATING ON?”
“I cant’ hear a bloody word you are saying!”
Leaning over and bellowing in her ear,
“WHY IS THE HEATING NOT ON?!”
” Can you put my hearing aid in, it’s over there?”
By now, I have lost the will to go on, but will dutifully get the hearing aid which is whistling and shrieking, and put it in for her, and then just go and turn the heating on myself. It’s easier.
However, if I had whispered to my sister a bit of gossip about someone, she would have heard that and put her two penneth in!
When you are older, and supposedly wiser, you are an asset to any quiz team! There are always questions about the old days. Games like Trivial Pursuit and other question based games normally require a good range of general knowledge, and of historical events.It stands to reason that n older person on the team is a bonus (providing they have their hearing aids in, of course)!
You can dress with abandon, wearing whatever you like in whatever colour combinations you choose when you are older. Who cares about being colour-co-ordinated any more. Many elderly people I have encountered (which amounts to quite a few), are very uninhibited in their dress sense. Why shouldn’t you wear reds, green and blues ALL at the same time! Who gives a toss about what others think?!!
You can nod off at the drop of a hat. Think Grandpa Simpson here, and his amazing ability to fall asleep, even mid-sentence! Yes, when you are older,nobody thinks it odd if you fall asleep at inappropriate times. How great is that? If you have a social function that you are obligated to go to but are not keen, it doesn’t matter! You can just have a snooze whenever you want and no-one will think you are rude. Far from it, they will probably think you are very sweet and endearing!
Those are just a few of the benefits I have come up with to being older…. are there any I have missed?

GOOD ONE!!! DAMN FUNNY!!!! Can relate for sure. (Lost my earlier comment in shuffling from page to page.) You are one fine writer that pulls at the heartstrings from a grassroots level. Priceless humour. It takes a great gift to laugh at one’s self constructively and share the same joy and chuckles you are experiencing in day-to-day activities – which are not quite so routine, but yet routine. Write on!!! my friend.
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Thank you so much for your lovely words. I just love to laugh at things, after all there is bugger all I can do about ageing (plastic surgery is a bit TOO drastic, as I am a wimp). I can normally find the humour in things and I definitely do not take myself too seriously! Dear God, even if I looked like Marilyn Monroe (one of my idols) , I would end up falling flat on my face, or breaking something. Not a good look!
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Oh the selective hearing!!! My grandpa played that card pretty well… Love this post. Makes you look forward to those days 🙂
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Yes, we will be able to get away with so much then! 🙂
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Oh yes! I am putting together a list with all the stuff I want to do (in case I forget by then) 😉
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Ha Ha! Oh I forgot to mention the memory loss. Brilliant! 🙂
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Hehehe
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It will be handy!
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Oh Edwina! This made me laugh, cringe, and feel utterly sad simultaneously. Your description of your mother saying exactly what she wants is piceless. It was also how my mother behaved too, and she also wore hearing aids. Trips to the hospital were a nightmare for me, as she would talk loudly about the foreign doctors skin colour or accents, insulting them without a care for their feelings. Overweight nurses were also commented on loudly.
My dad was the same. Once, my parents, my husband and I were walking along a promenade. A well endowed young lady in a bikini passed by with her hulk of a boyfriend, and my dad said loudly, “Did you see the dairies on that!” The boyfriend turned around in anger, displaying his broken nose and couliflower ears. My husband, apologising profusely for my father, grovelled as best he could under the circumstance. “Sorry mate! He’s vey old!” Seeing my dad, then in his nineties and on two sticks, the boyfriend backed off, but nevertheless, it was scary.
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Ha Ha Ha! I roared when I read the story of your dad and the well-endowed girl. Dear God, your husband must have died when he got ‘the look’ from the boyfriend! I bet your Dad loved it! Priceless!
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plus when I am having a bad hair day I just go with it – I am sure the people at the gym and pool look at me as that eccentric old lady with the rooster tail cowlicks!
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Ha Ha! Well, you are not old, but when you do get there, you won’t give a toss what anyone thinks anyway!
🙂
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Nodding off when you were talking to them! That has happened to me. Great post, made me smile 🙂
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Thank you so much for commenting. I’m glad I brought a smile to your day. 🙂
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So funny and true. I came to visit here from visiting the blog party at Steve’s. 🙂
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Hi and welcome. I am glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Judy E Martin
Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy, in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just finished University as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, 'Rhymes of the Times.' I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together, and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series also. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.
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