As I may have mentioned before, my daughter has Asperger’s and many times comes out and says exactly what she thinks about things.This is regardless as to who they are, or indeed where we are. I seem to spend a lot of time trying to explain to her why it is not polite/tactful to be so blunt, but sometimes, just sometimes I think we would all just love to say what we really think….
You have been invited to a friend’s/family member’s house for a coffee; just as you are about to leave, you get a phone call asking if you could ‘just pick up a pint of milk, packet of cigs’ and a few other bits and pieces. You don’t actually have that much money on you and you know it is going to be tricky asking for your money back when you deliver the goods. What you want to say is,
“No I bloody can’t! Why the hell did you invite me over for coffee when you haven’t even got any milk. Why can’t you do your own shopping?”
What you actually say is,
“Oh yes, of course I will . Do you need anything else?”
You are walking along the street when someone coming the other way barges into you and knocks you out of their way.
What you want to say is,
“Watch where you are going you Arsehole!”
What you actually say is,
“Sorry!” Yes really. Or at least I do!
You are in the supermarket, strapped for time trying to get grocery shopping done, only to come to an abrupt halt as two shoppers are having a chat, blocking the aisles with their trolleys. They see you trying to get by, glare at you before finally huffing and puffing, and moving a fraction so you can just about get through.
What you want to say is,
“So sorry to interrupt your important meeting just so that I can actually do my shopping as this is a supermarket not a village hall!”
“What you actually say is,
“Thanks so much, whilst looking apologetic for having disturbed them!
This one probably only applies to me as I am a ‘Philistine’ who likes their steak well-done. On going out for a birthday meal with my mum and some other family members, i and some others requested a steak. I explained how I liked it cooked and when the waitress plonked it down forcefully, and dare I say resentful in front of me she asked me if ‘it was well done enough for me or should she take it back and get the chef to cremate it a bit more’
What I wanted to say was,
“How dare you try to belittle and humiliate me in front of everyone you rude excuse for a person. You can sod off if you think I am leaving you a tip, other than get some bloody manners!”
What I actually said was,
“Thank you, that will do fine!”
Ahhh yes, wouldn’t it be good to say what we really think sometimes. Anything you would like to say?
The famous British politeness, and almost apologeticness, even though you should be able to speak your mind!!
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Yes, I am getting a lot better at doing it, I must say. 🙂
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I lack this “tact” of which you write, and I can’t believe a person with such otherwise good taste wants her meat cooked through! 😉
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I admire your bravery in saying what you think! Yes I am afraid I have no taste when it comes to how my meat is cooked!! 🙂
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I’m with you on this one… Mind you, I can’t really afford to lose any more friends or offend any more locals or I’ll have to become a hermit…
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Ha Ha! It is a tricky one.
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I am exactly the same. I have started to suspect that you and I are actually the same person. This cheers me immensely because it makes it much easier to justify the 2 new pairs of shoes that will be arriving on my doorstep tomorrow. I was shopping for two! (Hope you wear a U.S. 8.5)
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I am glad that you are feeling happy about your new shoes (one can never have enough pairs). It’s lovely too that we are so similar, I love the thought that there is another person who is as silly as I am! 🙂
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Me, too!
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today while swimming I apologized to someone for something they had done. I thought to myself, I need to stop apologizing when it isn’t my fault. Very Canadian to do so, but enough is enough!
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Yes, it is silly why we do that – We BOTH must get out of the habit! 🙂
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I’m right there with you. I don’t know how many times I’ve wished I’d spoken up in similar situations. I guess it just takes practice. 🙂
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Yes, I get so mad with myself for being such a wimp! 🙂
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Me, too. 🙂
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haha
I had a great time reading this!!!
It took me back in time where I did exactly the former one but so wanted to do the latter one:(
Good job!:)
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Hi. Thanks so much for commenting and glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Great idea unless the person you’re being blunt with is a cop and, mid-zinger, you see him pull out his taser.
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Ha Ha! Yes indeed. Well I would probably then be on my best behaviour!
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Edwina,
All I can say is don’t ask your daughter to change herself. I face this all the time. I am rather blunt and am trying to be blunter- because being blunt is being honest and if I am not honest, I cannot live with myself.
At the workplace, I don’t like colleagues walking in to say hello and then spend the better part of an hour talking – basically, nonsense- and I want to tell them, well, if you had enough of helloing, please make a move. These days I am acclimatizing myself to do just that.
As we age, we try to be more polite but this politeness will eat our insides.
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Thanks Susie.
I have to say, sometimes i do think it better to be blunt, but although I admire this in others I am not great at it myself! My daughter is pretty feisty and actually, when it is correctly channelled it is an admirable quality. No I won’t try to change her 🙂
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I am like your daughter. I am often as surprised as everybody else at what has just come out of my mouth. Sometimes I am standing there wondering, “Did I say that?”
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Ha Ha! Sometimes I want to hide with some of the stuff she says! 🙂
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Sometimes I need to hide after I’ve opened my big mouth.
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HahaHA! 🙂
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Judy E Martin
Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy, in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just finished University as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, 'Rhymes of the Times.' I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together, and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series also. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.
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